Top 10 Disturbing and Inescapable Christmas Songs

Comments (581)
  • hopewithinchaos  - Bleh
    I've heard number 10 way too much to count, and i live in Kentucky. good stuff
  • Punky  - HAHAHAH!!!
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    I think I only heard like 2 of these songs, but its so funny and disturbing that it doesnt matter.
    Great top 10! and Merry Christmas!!!;)
  • Xylon Lionheart  - Those Chipmunks!
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    I have never heard the Chipmunk's voices when they are slowed down to normal speed. I think I may be scarred for life.
  • Johnny User
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    You should hear Dave slowed to the same speed. Or hear Patton Oswalt impersonate it, they're both pretty weird.
  • ThatGuyInTheHeadband
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    That was kinda disturbing. I never did listen closely to those lyrics. I probably wouldn't do that, but I never got far enouph with a girl for any of these issues to come up. Man, I'm lonely. :(
  • Linkara
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    I can't really explain why I like Santa Baby. Maybe it's just the rhythm or something - kind of evokes that Sinatra-esque Jazz with tunes like "Fever."

    I don't know, I live in the Midwest and I've never heard Christmas Shoes until now. And I'm so glad I never did.

    I too was disturbed by Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer when I first heard it. I have no clue what the heck they're trying to convey with the song.

    I don't really get what's so disturbing about the Chipmunks' regular voices. Boring? Oh, I'll give you that. The song only works with the high-pitched voices.

    I am getting so sick of the Twelve Days of Christmas (though the Starcraft version is very entertaining).
  • adrasl300
    But it sounds so sludgy and a bit migraine inducing.
    They are not very good singers either.
  • MythbustersFan  - huh
    i actually like "the christmas shoes" lol
  • staplerinjelle
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    Wow, a new themed Critic [i]and[/i] Chick? Christmas did come early this year! (And hello there, fellow grad student who really hopes to find her tuition under the tree.)

    This is a really great list in that you circumvented the expected offenders and found the gems (stinkers?) that hide under the radar but always make you want to stab a stake of holly through your heart when they come on the radio. And you really outdid yourself with the cutscenes--those were hysterical (although the Surrealist montage during the slowed-down Chipmunks might possibly give me a nightmare). I hope you include your supporting players in future Chick videos.

    "Don't They Know It's Christmas" always makes me think of the Sam Kennison sketch about raising money for Africa--"Just tell them to [i]move![/i] They're in the middle of the desert! Nothing grows there!"--but set to music made to make us feel guilty. Merry Christmas...yay?

    And I'm convinced "The Christmas Shoes" is its own circle of Hell where it and its accompanying movie just play over and over and over again. Obviously people who love the song don't understand the afterlife's carry-on policy very well...or they're ancient Egyptians. One of the two, but I'm leaning towards the former.

    Summed up...this is your best video yet. Superb.
  • Shinigami
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    Well done Lindsay.

    Oh and you looked sweet in 2.08.

  • Quang  - !
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    Number 3 creeped me out O_O;
  • White Light  - ?.?
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    That was scary :o:o:o:o:o:o:o
  • Spankyventura  - An English Christmas
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    You guys (by guys I mean the generic term for people, that and Yanks) seem to get off light.
    Every bloody year we have to put up with the god damn Pogues and Kirsty McColl, but that's not the worst of it. Ever heard of Slade? Or Wizzard? Or Mud? Or Wings? Ugh, Cliff Richard?? What a twat.
    Well, you get the idea.
    Each year from November it starts and you cannot leave the house without being metaphorically rammed up your arse till you can think of nothing other than how much you want to punch that smug git Cliff Richard in the face.
    Next time you hear that song about shoes (never heard of it till now, pretty funny though) just think of your brother's across the pond trying to punch a 70 year old singer who has seemingly ruled the Christmas Number 1 spot and should have given up before I was born.
    Makes me thankful I broke my leg a month ago and haven't left the house yet other than to go to the pub. It's a hard life.
  • PowerGlove79  - THANK YOU!!
    Thank you for putting that manipulative tacky pap song "The Christmas Shoes" in it's place, I have hated that songs since it infected the radio all those years go, and I hate it to this day, it truly is the worst christmas song ever written, it's basically saying "We're going to make you cry no matter what it takes ,and if you don't you have no soul". There is a special place in hell for the people who wrote that song.
  • Codename26  - But... but... what about WHAM! ?
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    Maybe it's a specifically German problem, but our scourge of the season for the last 10 years or so is "Last Christmas" by Wham!. I'll prefer most way-too-long and not-very-imaginative 12-Days-of-Christmas to that, at least some are somewhat entertaining (Twisted Sister!).

    On a completely unrelated note: Good video, the reenacted parts where hilarious!
  • Ragnal
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    Did you get Maurice LaMarche to do the Chipmunk Song? damn, the voice sounds a bit like him...

    And a merry Christmas to you too, N. Chick.
  • nas_the_don
    great video. Many thanks,
  • c3bss256
    As much as I agree with the whole list, I love Do They Know It's Christmas, if only there was an instrumental version... *Searches YouTube*
  • Totalpranny  - Pretty good:)
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    Merry Christmas NChick & all ;)

    :o I didn't realise what "Baby It's Cold Outside" was about until you made me pay proper attention to the lyrics ! It's like they really meant it to be celebrating date rape, what with the suggestion that the guy spiked the girl's drink and all...I feel so ashamed for having previously found the song so romantic.:'(
  • kikkimikki  - Video doesnt work:S
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    Anyone know why? All the other videos on the site works. I cant even see the player. >:(
  • goldenstate5  - Not working
    Admin, a little help here? The player isn't showing up!
  • hopewithinchaos  - Guys calm down
    Blip is down, all the embedded videos will reappear once Blip is back up
  • Balanced Breakfast  - Beautifully done.
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    Never quite realized the overwhelming creepiness that is the "Christmas Spirit"...

    Of course, Christmas IS the only time of the year I get date raped and abused just before being conned by some asshole kid who tells me his mom is dying. Honestly, I'd almost prefer that he'd steal them like we did when we were kids...

    Oh, also, merry Christmas!
  • kyrieeleison
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    My friend and I are convinced that the "Christmas Shoes" kid has some kind of racket or con going. In this store, it's shoes for his mom. Next, it's an XBox 360 for his brother. He probably turns around and sells his ill-gotten gains on eBay for triple the selling price.

    (Yeah, it's three years late, but the sentiment is the same: this song sucks.)
  • Kbomb13
    I looked up Kirsty, her death was pretty sad = she had a lovely voice, Merry Christmas, Nostalgia Chick! Wonderful video, once again
  • ChadVision
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    When you were staring at the screen during the "Dick in a box" part and when you stared at the screen and said "I love you" it look like you were staring right into my eyes.... AND INTO MY SOUL! (D=)

    LOL but anyway great review, never watched a review on Christmas songs before and It was something new and I like it.
  • mwong04
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    im in Asia so I dunt know any of these songs
  • TrangleC  - .
    Very good video. Thanks.

    I never heard the Christmas Shoes Song, so it seems to be a national (or regional) us-american phenomenon. I'm german. The most inescapable christmas song here is "Last Christmas" from "Wham!". Every year since 1984 from November till January i know i'll hear that song as soon as i switch on a radio.
  • Altorin
    "...Mordor?"

    hahaha

    I honestly hate all of those songs except the chipmunks song.

    I don't know why I like that one, but I do..
  • tri-sapphire  - Wow...
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    Excellent job! Definitely agree on the slowed down Chipmunk's song, Santa Baby, Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer, and the 12 Days of Christmas. The Baby it's Cold Outside thing was a bit of a surprise, although I still think the song is kinda cute (disregarding the date rape theme :o).

    I haven't had to deal with the rest so much where I live, and seeing how bad the rest of those are...damn.

    Anyways, your videos seem to be getting better and better, so Merry Christmas and keep up the great work!
  • Mistahtom
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    I've heard #2 only a few times, and #1 I've never heard of. Good thing.
  • Murdus  - Awww...
    You left out the StarCraft version of 12 Days of Christmas! That one is actually amusing. Somewhat. Especially the ending.
    "Hey, who spiked the eggnog?"

    Priceless.
  • Cferra
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    Good job! I liked the video a lot. I know some people who loved Christmas Shoes. I don't know why. It's kind of depressing. Anyway, great list! Have a great holiday!
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