Holy crap what a strangley interesting review...oh did i forget to mention first bitches!!!!!!
Armageddon
Written by TheDudette Wednesday, 09 September 2009 23:07
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Comments (373)
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09.09.2009 - 23:17 | Bojaingles
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09.10.2009 - 14:58 | That Guy With The Braces
Did I forget to mention YOU FAIL!!!!!!
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09.10.2009 - 16:45 | Thoadthetoad
"bitches"? That is SCHOOLYARD TALK.
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05.05.2010 - 15:18 | DaVince
No it isn't. :dry:
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09.09.2009 - 23:23 | ThuringwethylYay! A new Nostalgia Chick review!
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09.09.2009 - 23:28 | The sad panda
why does ben affleck bad acting never exploded during this movie?
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03.17.2010 - 06:32 | badgersprite
Michael Bay: "How do I shot film?"
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09.09.2009 - 23:32 | naota-kunwhat about the rest of the movie? I know that i've seen it already and it's bad but i want to know what you think, lindsay. there better be a conclusion.
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09.10.2009 - 04:24 | OgawaBurukkuTBC dude
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09.09.2009 - 23:33 | Jay_Desu
Hey, Lindsay!
You've been sorely missed! :p
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I am so happy I did not see that movie. I've been in a bad movie coma once myself after seeing "Dukes of Hazzard". Well, the first thirty minutes of it. I could stand no more.
Anyway, good first part of the review. You continue to have a wonderful style and deadpan nature that is a joy to watch. Keep it up, NChick, I'll be watching.
... No innuendo was intended. Seriously.
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09.09.2009 - 23:37 | Deimos1984rd
Damn you Bay and your robot testicles...DAMN YOOOU. Can't wait for part two.
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03.15.2010 - 13:15 | Sheranda
I did not need to think about Michael Bay's testicles! Why did you have to go there, N. Chick?! :pinch:
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09.09.2009 - 23:46 | gambit508Oh My God! YAAAAAY!
Why does "Michael Bay" remind me of Carrot Top?
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But i like splosions!! and dem der afro-can american robots sure was funnyer then anything iv seen! michel bay is a dern genious!
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Well at least that is what I would expect from a Bay fan. Tear them a new one guys!
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*SQUEEEEE*
Most excellent review, liked it a lot and gave me a good laugh. :D
HELICOPTERS AT SUNSET WOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOOWOOW OOWOOWOOWOO
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03.15.2010 - 13:18 | SherandaI would have gotten that hangman thing if you had spelled "helicopter" right! When you make a hangman game for someone else to solve, [i]double-check the spelling![/i]
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05.19.2011 - 01:30 | Goat Boy
[i][b][u][s]And you should check the site's mark-up code.[/i][/b][/u][/s]
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09.09.2009 - 23:39 | pharmmajor
Oh yes, keep beating down on Bay, Lindsay!
Though I do agree that the common man knows more than the government. Wait... did I just agree with a theme from a Michael Bay movie? Dear god, kill me now!
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09.09.2009 - 23:40 | MikeTheRipper12wow this is unexpected. I like that your playing around with camera style to mock Bay. The cliffhanger also was nice, i hope you don't go into another coma from seeing bayballs...
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09.09.2009 - 23:42 | edjr1980
Is it a stereotype if real black people talk that way?? I mean Eddie Griffin and Mark Cooper( I think that's his name) are not exactly rogue scholars.
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09.10.2009 - 04:27 | OgawaBurukkuI didn't think it was all that stereotypical either. Chris Tucker or whoever always talks like that, whether he's in a movie or doing stand-up or whatever. Though the audio was kinda rough in those places and I couldn't hear exactly what the characters were saying...
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09.10.2009 - 09:00 | ChaosD1
It's "Rhodes Scholar". Don't use a term you hear all the time if you don't know what it means.
Although I agree with you to an extent, (There are people who talk like that.) it doesn't mean EVERYONE does. It's a racist stereotype because it implies he's incapable of being serious for one second. I'm hard pressed to think of a single black person, hell, a single [i]person[/i], who would stand amidst a group of corpses and wreckage and yell out "Aww damn, someone betta call 911, foo!"
Just because they "talk like that" doesn't mean they act like that all the time.
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11.01.2009 - 17:28 | ErinI believe you mean Rhodes scholars.
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02.19.2010 - 03:44 | badgerspriteThe problem is that EVERY BLACK CHARACTER in Michael Bay movies acts like this. It's like he looks at every script he gets and says, "You know what these needs? A screaming black guy who says stupid shit that white people can laugh at." It's modern minstrelsy.
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Yay! Nostalgia Chick! I was wondering where you've been. Comma for three months and finding out Transformers 2's box office records for the end of the summer. Coulda been worse. Coulda woken up when Transformers 3 comes out, or there coulda been a zombie apocolyps or next to Spoony again.
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09.10.2009 - 01:41 | BBboy
The Scary part is that it nearly beaten The Dark Knight's record.
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09.10.2009 - 00:01 | Gamer_Ely
i didn't even noticed it had posted, it quite snuck up on me. it's really great to finnaaaaaally welcome you're return =D i loved all the bayish camera shots, that was pure comedy injected into my veigns
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09.09.2009 - 23:49 | b9bomber
It was good review. You're criticisms were spot on, it was entertaining, etc.
What I really want to know is where you got your Armageddon footage from. It just seems so weird. It's like it's somewhere in between VHS and DVD quality. Or I don't have the eye for that kind of thing and it's obviously one or the other.
Glad you're back!
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Great to see you back in action! I watched your stuff recently and you became an instant favorite of mine. :D
Loved the video, hope to see more soon!
Jesse~
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09.09.2009 - 23:50 | goldman
to be honest, this review seemed kinda mediocre, at least by your standards(you're one of the best over here)(maybe something stressing has been going on these 3 months, so all i can say is whatever, hope that's over or something).
anyway it was still really good, so keep it up!
hope next one comes out as awesome as always though, but try not to force it
yeah, i can't decide between encouragement and criticism :P
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09.09.2009 - 23:55 | DJQuackQuack
yeah those bad movie commas can be a bitch sometimes. anywho good work on your review of this god awful movie.
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Wow it's been quite a while since the last one, but boy this one looks promising... :)
I'm slightly under the impression that Michael Bay is going to be like Final Fantasy 8 was for Spoony... This is going to be quite interesting! I'm looking forward to the next one NChick.
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09.09.2009 - 23:57 | TheDramaticMonarch
Woooow...I had only seen the first bit of "Armageddon" when I was much younger on a really late night so the blatant stereotypes didn't really register with me but now? Damn. Both black guys AND women in one fell swoop. :0
Anyways, it's great to see you (and Nella!!) back with another video. Bring on part 2 and the Bay Beatdown!
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09.09.2009 - 23:57 | bug_eyed_sheep44I probably would've made a "wash my Ferrari, be in my movie" joke with Bay. Maybe you can do that with part two. He's a dick.
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09.09.2009 - 23:58 | BeowulfXXVWelcome back Nostalgia Chick! :cheer:
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09.10.2009 - 00:00 | NasDestinyIt's a good review, but I hope that the other reviews aren't about more Michael Bay movies - why spend more time on him than we already do?
By the way, I have eternal love for the parodied Firefly scene involving Nel and the animal crackers. It's one of my favorite scenes of the series, with Wash.
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09.10.2009 - 00:01 | mr semihotnessShes back... oh and great review as always
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09.10.2009 - 00:02 | Downup
Been a while \o\ Niice :woohoo:
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Is it worth thinking about how that three-hour cinematic rape disguised as a film has made more than the GDP of Africa? Fine, it appealed to fanboys and idiots that wanted to see shit blow up and robot testicles, good for them. It's just money; it will get made, spent on another sequel, and either it will tank and Bay will have to make a proper movie, or the process repeats until Michael Bay is dead and forgotten.
Roland Emmerich's new movie, [i]2012[/i], is going to do the same thing. It's going to be awful, and everyone is going to go see it because they love disaster porn. Roland Emmerich will get to do this all over again later with [i]Godzilla 2: The New Godzilla[/i] or something and I can calmly ignore it.
I don't feel like my intelligence or sensibilities are insulted by this movie making more money than God, I know that good movies, whether they make money or not, are added to the annals of movie history and become part of the human conscience, and bad movies that make shitloads of money just get added to a list where they make shitloads of money and never quite disappear off the DVD shelf at Wal-Mart, who cares?
Besides all that, it still didn't make as much as [i]The Dark Knight[/i], and that gets to be on BOTH lists. Sometimes we know what we're doing. :cheer:
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09.10.2009 - 00:04 | tran4of3
Awesome comeback! The 3-month gap joke was great, taking advantage of the current happenstances. You really nailed the Michael Bay mockery - the camera angle shots and pannings were a blast, and the confrontation was awesome. You've really amped up the smugness to a fantastically exaggerated degree.
The racist bit was fun to watch. I think you've got yourself a talent of taking something offensive, and really sugarcoating it. Spooning with Spoony, the Rap video (which I didn't have a prob with), and even the kinda-not-sorta-totally not lesbianism, and this now. I love it : p
Only criticism I have is the shifting audio. Sometimes I can clearly hear what you say, and sometimes it gets very fuzzy, and sometimes the volume changes. Nothing too bad, but noticable.
Great review, and great part-skit too!
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