Bad Movie Beatdown Presents - Hercules in New York
Written by Film Brain & Obscurus Lupa Thursday, 09 June 2011 22:54
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Comments (147)
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06.09.2011 - 23:18 | trlkly
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06.10.2011 - 01:43 | trlklyIt's working now.
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06.09.2011 - 23:50 | SpeedyEric
I was wondering if someone would review the very first Arnold Schwarzenagger film, and who better than Film Brain and Obscurus Lupa.
3:21- Either that, or they thought the word "Schwarzenegger" is hard to spell (Insert "Ninja Turtles II" clip here).
5:51- Instead of a fist fight, the sound guy thought that this was a slap fight.
7:32- First, Brad Jones had a pretzel, and now we see Arnold having one. ...I'm suddenly in the mood for one right now.
11:05- I'm having the same reaction as you guys. OMG LOL, this film is really, really cheap.
19:04- The Ben-Hur chariot race scene, this is not.
20:46- A LITTLE cloudy? In this shot, there's bearly any clouds. I'm guessing they're acting in this scene as it was in the shooting script, much like the actors in "Troll 2."
I'm a catholic, and I'm as offended by this movie as the Jews.
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06.10.2011 - 00:12 | WarxePB
Well that's an interesting crossover. Definitely not something I expected.
Also, is it just you guys who keep switching between the Greek and Roman names, or is that in the movie?
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06.10.2011 - 08:21 | Vismutti
I'm guessing it's the movie, since it even used the Roman name for Herakles too... Or is "Hercules" the /English/ name for Herakles? Damn, I'm confused.
Oh well, I guess this is the Greeks getting what's coming for them for spreading the butchered versions of the Egyptian gods' names around.
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06.10.2011 - 18:04 | Divide By Zero
Hercules is indeed the Roman form of Greek Heracles (also Herakles). Just as Juno, also mentioned in the movie, is the Roman equivalent of Hera (wife and sister of Zeus).
Mercury likewise is Roman, analogous to Greek Hermes.
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06.10.2011 - 12:49 | SockpuppetYeah, I'm enough of a mythology-nerd for that to have bothered me too. How come we have "Zeus" instead of Jupiter?
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06.10.2011 - 18:17 | Divide By ZeroI think the movie truly is under the delusion that it's based on Greek mythology. Thus Zeus gets to be Greek even though his wife and sons seem to be Roman and Samson makes a cameo.
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06.11.2011 - 09:02 | ladydiskette
Samson....?
Hmmmm, based on my basic knowledge of well common sense, wouldn't Samson take his orders from a bibical God and not a "pagan" God like Zeus?
Even some non-christian can tell you in how many ways that dosen't make sense!
And I thought them screwing up the Roman and Greek names was confusing >__
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06.10.2011 - 00:03 | e33lafPoor Lupa really needs to invest in some pepper spray to ward off all the stalking and psychical attacks from other TGWTG contributors.
As for the bear costume...well, while this one may have been bad, you have truly not seen a horrible bear costume until you see the Polar Bear in "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians." Even the guys at MST3K couldn’t keep a straight face when they saw that one.
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06.10.2011 - 12:51 | SockpuppetYeah, at least this one is lit so badly you can't tell it's a moth-eaten team mascot costume.
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06.10.2011 - 19:39 | Kheldarn
It seems I'm the only one who saw the bear, and had the first thought of, "Where's Cinema Snob? The Geek is on the loose again!"...
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06.11.2011 - 15:15 | WiiStation360
Pepper spray wouldn't work on Todd since he wears a mask. :/
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06.10.2011 - 07:29 | ladydiskette[q]Lupa, you need to get a restraining order on Todd before its too late[/q]
But if she did we wouldn't have the lovely todd/lupa fics that expose thier TRUE intentions for each other. XD lol
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06.10.2011 - 08:03 | August M.
Yeah, you're right.
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06.10.2011 - 22:44 | TheTannedOtaku
Todd/Lupa fics? WHERE?!
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06.10.2011 - 01:08 | Chepi
That was pretty much awesome.
Couldn't decide if the bear suit reminded me more of Sasquatch or Pedobear.
Also (in the chase scene towards the end), the horses switching places was irritating.
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06.10.2011 - 12:59 | SockpuppetPedosquatch!
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06.10.2011 - 19:01 | mrrubino
And yet not one reference to Lou Ferrigno throwing a bear into space. Shameful.
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06.10.2011 - 01:13 | ChiyoYaiden
Didn't see the Todd coming. At all.
XD I like how much fun you guys seemed to have had fliming this.
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06.23.2011 - 13:35 | No oneWere you being sarcastic? If you weren't, same here.
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06.10.2011 - 01:13 | DorknessFalls
This is actually one of my favorite movies. I'm a little surprised you didn't give more background on the production or compare the two audio versions. I've got the extra classy DVD version that allows switching between the two.
"You have strucked Hercules" is probably the funniest line in the movie.
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06.10.2011 - 01:20 | brick mooncode
Zeus looks like Pan.
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Wait ... is the movie suppose to be based on the Greek or Roman Pantheon? We have Zues and Hercules, but then we turn around and have Mercury and Pluto?
Come on movie .... a little consistency!
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06.10.2011 - 02:27 | SailorCardKnight
I was just about ready to comment on the same thing...but you beat me to it.
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06.10.2011 - 07:17 | mrskippy
Actually, the only Greek name was Zeus, as Hercules is the Roman name for Heracles. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!
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not to mention Mercury (Roman) who should actually be called Hermes when they try to show greek mythology its like the Pantheon-fuckup in pure form :/
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06.10.2011 - 11:37 | Cheerokoh that was already written. by the way wasnt Nemesis supposed to be a weapon and not a person ? oO
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06.10.2011 - 13:01 | Sockpuppet"Hercules" is the Roman name, too. He's "Herakles" in Greek. So only Zeus was Greek in this.
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06.10.2011 - 01:27 | 4getregretLooks like you guys had a lot of fun with this review; especially with those credits at the end. Gotta love the hokey music and Pretzie's ":O" face!
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06.10.2011 - 01:56 | mehjaAfter seeing the 3rd Anniversary trailer with Harry "Film Brain" Potter I can't help thinking of red-haired Lupa as his Obscurus Ginny :)
Such a cute couple, so much potential: "Actually, I was thinking... (emberassed look)"
What? Thinking what? OMG, the creepy guy ruined it all!
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Good thing he had pretzels with him or else that name would have no context. Unless that's an actual Jewish name, I don't know much about that.
O hai Todd.
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06.10.2011 - 01:37 | CtuGreat review. I think you two work great together in this review...and the use of Benny Hill music was great :D
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...all the wrong women fall for him and vice versa.
I once saw this movie on tv, when I was like 9 or so. And I remember, even at the time, thinking that this could simply not be possible...
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06.10.2011 - 01:45 | Ruby Doomsday
I'm impressed at Zeus' ability to turn novelty bendy soda straws into stock lightening footage. Wait... no I'm not.
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This was seriously an awesome crossover!
Oh movie, you so charming with your underdeveloped stereotypical female love interest character :D
It's actually pretty funny after finding out about Arnold's accent and limited acting talent that they didn't just recast, it's a good thing or we wouldn't have this gem!
I loved this review, hopefully there will be another Lupa/Brain crossover in the future.
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06.10.2011 - 02:11 | trlklyWhen I saw the bear scene, I had the exact same reaction at the exact same time. That was awesome.
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06.10.2011 - 02:20 | The_Awesometeer
wow! Arnold's acting skills in Kindergarten Cop seems oscar worthy when compared to this.
also we have greek gods, roman gods, and peeps from the bible... the movie itself is a crossover
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06.10.2011 - 02:23 | Myth Perceptions
All I could think of while hearing the movie soundtrack was: I wonder if we're going to see a Monty Python cheese shop joke. :)
Great review, loved Todd's cameo!
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all i could think of when hearing his voice was that catfish character from the pink panther show...which he also apparently did the voice of as well.
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Am i the only one to notice that except for Zues and Hercules, every other god and goddess mentioned are ROMAN and NOT Greek? Also Atlas could not helpp Hercules either because according to myth if he stops holding the heavens the entire world would be destroyed. Obviously the creators of this movie did 0 research in this.
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06.10.2011 - 02:54 | ArtticWitchica
I noticed that too XD I was going to mention it but forgot.
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06.10.2011 - 02:54 | ArtticWitchicaWow this review was amazing, it made me speak aloud twice XD
First was with the bear. I said "What the hell?" and then when Todd Showed I laughed my ass off even though my mother is asleep in the room next door XD
Great review.
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06.10.2011 - 02:55 | kaltblut
Lupa is so cute!
Great review!
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06.10.2011 - 03:12 | TheManFromBartertown
I watched this on cable many moons ago.
And I still don't understand how the director thought it was a good idea.
This is possibly my fave review of the lot of the Lupa crossovers, lol at Film Brain feeling inadequate towards men who probably abused the hell out of steroids precisely BECAUSE they felt inadequate.
Oh Arnold, your cinematic antics never cease to amuse.
"Remember when I said I quit cinema for politics? I LIED..."
*drops agent off to his doom*
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06.10.2011 - 03:28 | yaoinut
Oooh, FB and Lupa crossover. I'm sure much lulz were had.
Oh Arnie...you know, Conan may not have been a masterpiece, but heck, at least it gave you more acting chops than this. Hard to believe that you would become the Terminator so many years later after this mess.
You know, what bugs me most about the movie was the inconsistency over mythology. Mixing of the Greek and Roman names for the gods, inclusion of biblical characters. Honestly, by the end, I would not have been surprised to see Anubis.
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06.10.2011 - 03:33 | SmaptiSo the king of the gods banishes his son to Earth because he's arrogant and disobedient. Hilarity ensues because of his willingness to start fights at the drop of a hat and his complete lack of understanding of how human society works. He falls in love with a brunette girl, loses his powers, has a rival god hatch a scheme to destroy him, and his friends come down to Earth to help him. In the end he gets his powers back, defeats the betrayers, and his father welcomes him back, as he leaves his love and his human friends behind.
My God, this is the EXACT SAME MOVIE as Thor!
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06.10.2011 - 04:10 | Sieg-sama
A mythology fuck-up extravaganza...
5:05 - Zeus (Greek God) says Neptune (Roman God), while he should've said Poseidon (Greek ver.)
12:35 - Again. Mercury is the Roman name of the Greek God Hermes. They should just rename Zeus into Jupiter and it'll all make sense. Nemesis is greek, the roman version would be Invidia
15:51 - Juno = Hera. You get it by now.
16:11 - Pluto is Greek. You've got it right for once. But he's more known as Hades. Could've gone with that.
19:44 - Samson? I don't have to say anything. Atlas is greek. And he's Titan punished by Zeus (and not willing to help, I bet) and made to HOLD THE SKY UP! So that guy in the loincloth... yeah, holding that sky.
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06.10.2011 - 12:37 | YiotaK01Pluto isn't Greek, it's Roman. Hades was the Greek name of the god of the Underworld. In other words, Greeks called him Hades and Romans called him Pluto.
The whole movie is a perversion and insult of Classical Mythology, but this isn't the first time a film has done so (Disney's Hercules, Clash of the Titans, The Immortals, etc.). Had this film actually been funny, I would have forgiven it.
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06.10.2011 - 04:09 | shirei
Just so you know guys, Hercules should really be Herakles in greek - he's clearly including the k to show off his knowledge of the source material :P.
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06.10.2011 - 04:19 | HedonisteEgoiste
I think that was the most adorible crossover yet :D You guys make an awesome team.
People in bear suits will never not be funny. I just had a Wickerman flashback XD
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