Michael Jackson is a transformer? That's just made of awesome!

Though...movies about singers/bands (as opposed to singer/actors singing and acting in movies) are going to tend to be a bit dodgy...a notable exception being [i]Seeing Double[/i], in which the writers stuck some science fiction in, and did it better than most science fiction movies do.

You should watch Wild Zero, the single most awesome movie ever, which follows the band Guitar Wolf.

He did this before Michael Jackson died. Check date-stamp, please...

ya its kinda ironic watchin this now that hes dead

will you shut up? I mean seriously, every comment of yours I've read has done its best in some way or another to show just how stupid you are.

I think you make that point quite clear to everyone, so just shut up!

Kid, I'm so glad they banned you.

:!: This review was made BEFORE Michael Jacksons death. :!:

[color=green]R.I.P. Michael Jackson[/color]

I'm sorry but what does it matter whether or not he's dead in terms of this review? NC is reviewing a film and the film is terrible regardless of it's star now being dead.

I think Michael Jackson was a great entertainer, just not with this film :)

he made this before micheal died

I LOVE MICHAEL JACKSON!!!

you do realize this was made before he died yes?

Just great.

:cheer: Awesome review Doug :cheer:

Wow,this movie was really really weird. But if Michael Jackson, our only Lord and Savior, wants it that way then that is the way it shall be.

P.S. Loved the Monty Python reference!

LAWL, can't take opinions? Jealous of MJ's success?

ZOMG moonwalker. Kinda weirded out that i really did love this movie back then.... Hilarious review. Haha "You're ignorant"

why isn't this movie one top 11 mind fucks lmao

The top 11 mind fucks was just scenes from a movie that just fucks with your mind. This whole movie was just one gigantic mind fuck there for he couldn't legitimately say it was a mind fuck moment when the entire movie is about the mind fuck.

Not really, Cool world and Raggedy Ann are out in the top 11 mindfucks as the whole movie, and I think Dragon's layer 2 was a game so I don't think it was just moments

I love Smooth Criminal, it was the only thing I knew about the film until now

hells ya!!!! great vid !!!!

Hold me is the best, followed by Man in the Mirror and THEN smooth crimal

Aww shit.

[color=navy]Sorta expecting this after the last review. :)
I agree there we some mindfucks in this Movie!! DX[/color]

Shadow the D-I-N-O-S-A-U-R B)

I have to say I 100% agree with you that Smooth Criminal music video was simply genius. One of my favorites at least. Even though I don't really care for most of his music. That was just brilliant. Great review. Best one in a while!

It's like Michael forgot that you're supposed to have a story and logical progression in movies. Which is odd, cause he did it in Thriller. Maybe he can only do it in 15 minute bursts? I don't know.

Still, this is my first ever exposure to this movie, and somehow, I am now glad of that. Maybe Michael wanted it to be his version of Tommy, but whatever the case, I really don't ever wanna see this (except maybe the Smooth Criminal part; that was surprisingly awesome).

One of the funniest NC reviews to date! :D

Now, I like to see him review more MJ stuff like "Thriller" and "Captain EO".

Great job, Doug!

This was great.
I agreed on all parts.

I agree with what you said about the Smooth Criminal part Doug. MJ was definatly the most talented dancer the world has ever seen, but now he's just everyone's favorite punching bag.

I'm sorry....MJ is a great dancer. But the greatest dancer/choreographer/star of all time is Gene Kelly. If you don't believe me, check out his work in Singing in the rain, An American in Paris and the unbelievably awesome roller-skating tap-dance number(I'm not making this up) in It's always fair weather.-and don't get me wrong..I'm very impressed with Michael Jackson's work, as well. For sheer artistry, however, Gene Kelly schools him every time. Peace.

Who's gene kelly?

(Owned.)

When gene kelly dies, that's it. Maybe some people will remember him, or whatever. But he won't be remembered as
[quote]...a legend, on par with Elvis Presley and the Beatles...[/quote]

RIP Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson will be remembered like the Beatles and Elvis because they led lives unlike any other. They died leaving stories worthy of the gods, and thus they will be remembered as such.

Many great people have passed like a fart from people's minds. Michael Jackson and Gene Kelly were both the masters of their fields. I shall remember them both for their contributions to music, dance, and choreography.

I remember playing the Moonwalker video game, but the plot for the game was... lacking and confusing. After watching this, it all makes sense now.

Very little sense but sense all the same.

No crap they made it into a video game? DUUDE!!!

man that movie was an acid fest!

[size=x-large][/size] NEEEEEEEEEEERD!!!!!!

AVGN's review was part of a game, you idiot.

This was released in theaters? Wow. Just, wow... I think I've seen Peter Gabriel music videos with a more coherent narrative than this...

Let me play shotgun psychologist for a moment (in that, I'm not a psychologist, but I do have a shotgun!), and read into this mindfuck of a film far more than what is probably healthy, in order to try to make sense of what is otherwise utter nonsense.

The children's rendition of "Bad", and the recurring motif of children, I would think, represents his once-stated desire to recover his lost childhood, and his desire to "protect" kids from the negative influences of contemporary society.

The claymation chase scene and the "Leave Me Alone" bit... that's how Michael sees his most ardent fans and tabloid reporters. As freaks. Says the pot to the kettle...

The policeman, the montage of civil rights leaders, and the issuing of the ticket and the people trying to kill him: That's his view on the persecution of him for being black and slowly going transracial. Yeah, in his mind he's a civil-rights leader for the transracial. Or something. I dunno.

The Transformer sequences? Transformers were cool at the time and I guess that's his way of saying he knows and empathizes with what the kids of the day were into? Shit.

Smooth Criminal: Yes, it kicks ass! Methinks now that this whole affair was just an excuse to make that music video and charge people money to see it. And make a Sega Genesis game out of it. Self indulgent prick...

What have we learned here? That, in his prime with this movie, Michael was offering one huuuuuuge clue about his future intentions and "alleged" "altercations" with children. And he has frequent delusions of grandeur. And nobody thought that was a bit odd at the time? Oh yeah, it was the '80s... back then [i]everybody[/i] had delusions of grandeur.

That's my analysis. And, as with all our other assumptions regarding The King of Pop, the actual truth behind it all is probably way removed from any pithy form of logic.

Great review, as usual, NC.

You are totally wrong of the analysis of "Leave me Alone" and "Speed Demon" music videos. Speed Demon is supposed to show basically how Michael had to endure the paparazzi on a daily basis, yet he loved his fans, and would often allow his fans to meet with him on various occasions.
Leave me Alone is supposed to show how the tabloids and the media basically went on a crusade against Michael. Saying that he slept in Hyperbaric chambers, while in fact just posing for a picture at a hospital that he just donated money to, The stupid rumor that he bought the elephant man's bones, and how the press was making fun of his friendship with Liz Taylor.
Also he isn't a civil rights leader for the transracial and never ever thought that. That sequence in the end of the "Speed Demon" video is supposed to show a past occurence of how MJ driving his Rolls royce was arrested by a white Police officer who thought that he didn't actually own the car, and it was also supposed to show how personal expression is prohibited by authority figures.

Also, how does this film show his future altercations with children, I mean, I understand how it shows his intentions to help children (Man in the mirror). I mean he did donate around 300 million - 500 million dollars to over 40 different charities. Add that with the time he spent paying for hospital wings, and saving an eastern european boy's life, and yes that would show how Michael was a really good guy.
I personally don't understand how three allegations from Jordan Chandler and Jason Francia in 1993, and Gavin Arvizo in 2003, who all came from really F##king messed up families (and could not really provide hard evidence or feasible explanations to timeline problems (GAVIN)) could tarnish his reputation so much after he tried to do so much to help children. Overall, if you truly want to understand MJ read MOONWALKER and DANCING THE DREAM, both written by MJ. Also watch the music video, "childhood".
God bless the King of Pop!

"This is crack."

You summed this film up perfectly with one little audio soundclip.

YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY "THE NOSTAGLIA CRITIC!"


EPIC AWESOMENESS DOUG, I WAS GLUED FROM BEGINNING TO END..

TEE HEE HEE !!

XXXXX

GREAT STUFF B)

Weeeird.
I found the bit at the end where he's apparently a flying alien robot eerily reminiscent of the whole Tom Cruise / Scientology thing. I guess maybe that much fame just ain't healthy...

i thought it was a good movie, but you still did a very hilarious job of reviewing it. great review.

omg. i guess mj really wrote this bs himself. why nobody stoped him? this is just horrible, i cant even call this a movie... just bs

He was rich. 'Nuff said.

really? he turns into Poptimus Prime? good god is this movie weird should have called it mind fucker

I lol'd at the Transformers theme being played when Jacko turned into a car. :lol:

Great review, as usual :D

I was really scared for a moment that you wouldn't like the Smooth Criminal portion, but I'm glad to see you enjoyed it just as much as I did.

Keep up the good work.