Nostalgia Critic - Pearl Harbor

(510 votes, average 4.77 out of 5)
Facebook Share
Comments (695)
  • VincentDawn
    Oh, God, this movie...
  • Drain
    Great review as always Doug. Both Titanic and Pearl Harbor(Along with Avatar) were overhyped, over budgeted, and over received pieces of shit. Plinkett's review of Titanic does a great job on Titanic while talking about both it and Avatar, and why they are among the best+worst movies at the same time. He said Pearl Harbor was basically an attempt to do Titanic again for another giant action/romance splice cash in. But audiences didn't fall for it twice. That time it bombed hard.

  • FishEyenoMiko
    "Plinkett's review of Titanic does a great job on Titanic while talking about both it and Avatar"

    FYI, Plinkett did a review of "Avatar" by itself, as well. It's pretty amazing (no surprise there), especially his analysis of the design of the Na'Vi.
  • buckybone  - Hijacking the top comment...
    This guy has something to say about the "I can't swim" line. watch?v=rdRhpnIfNXg
  • AbsoluteVirtue  - Guilty Pleasure
    Titanic is more of a guilty pleasure for me. Sure the the love story is the weakest part of the movie, but other then that it wasn't bad for a historical drama. You can't fault the movie for creating more interest in the Titanic disaster (which is a great subject to study). The movie didn't skimp on the enormity of the human tragedy. The scenes of the sinking ship are some of the best ever filmed. The art direction, sets, and costumes are second to none by today's standards. You just don't see that kind of production design in movies anymore. It certainly is a lot better of a movie then Pearl Harbor ever was (although Pearl Harbor set the bar very low). The Pearl Harbor movie was an insult to the historic tragedy. The movie should be renamed 'Japan Bombed an American Love Triangle' because that is essentially what the movie is about. If you don't like Titanic that's fine but it's not as bad as you say it is.
  • Swanpride
    I agree....the love story in Titanic is naturally very cheesy, but the movie does a great job in recreating the tragedy. Not necessarily historical correct in every detail, but is shows exactly what lead to the catastrophe, and has, between all the cheese, some really thoughful moments. I think the best moment is towards the end, when the people who uncover the titanic realize that this is more than just an interesting project. Titanic has it's weaknesses, but it also has a lot of strength.
  • LikaLaruku  - Team America, Fuck Yeah
    I miss you more then Michael Bay missed the mark
    When he made Pearl Harbor
    I miss you more than that movie missed the point
    And that's an awful lot girl
    And now, now you've gone away
    And all I'm trying to say is
    Pearl Harbor sucked, and I miss you

    I need u like Ben Affleck needs acting school
    He was terrible in that film
    I need u like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part
    He's way better than Ben Affleck
    And now all I can think about is your smile
    and that shitty movie too
    Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you

    Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?
    I guess Pearl Harbor sucked
    Just a little bit more than I miss you
  • LikaLaruku
    Michael Bay: The reason no one really talks about Uwe Boll anymore.
  • Amykins
    :/ This was funny, but again, do we HAVE to have such long, drawn-out scenes with the other actors? I mean a quick side joke is one thing, but all of the "spoof Michael Bay" scenes just went on...and on...and ON. That's not comedy, it's just, well, annoying!
  • matt0044
    I actually like them. Especially when there's a story-like feel to it like here.
  • SwindleFan65
    Plus we get to see the Demo Reel cast again. That's definitely a plus.
  • LikaLaruku
    Same here. For those of us that enjoyed DR, their presence in the skits makes up for the loss of the show.

    Now how about a 3ed episode of the Bjork Show?
  • malice936
    No offense, but I think they were actually pretty nice. I think the main reason he has them in the videos is because it would be kinda rude to dump them off just because he brought the critic back. I will agree they dragged on for a bit, but they weren't as bad as demo reel, and kept on topic to what was being said. Bay sucks it all the way.
  • Floweramon
    I liked it. I thought it was a nice parallel/parody to what he was talking about with if you are writing about a real events and people (especially a tragic one), you need to do it respectfully, and just like how Michael Bay didn't show any respect in his repesentation, neither did the NC.
  • Sewblon
    I don't like the cutaway scenes with the other actors and Doug playing Michael Bay. That is not because of the actors, they did a good job given the material they were working with. The problem is that showing Michael Bay as a well-meaning albeit inept filmmaker detracts from the Nostalgia Critic's rant about how he is a dick who only cares about how others perceive him to be patriotic so that he can get away with deception. Those two interpretations work separately, but they can never work together because they rely on mutually exclusive emotional and intellectual responses from us, the audience.
  • zenfrodo
    I'm with you, Sewblown. I don't like the cutaway scenes, either; they detract from the NC. For me, they just don't fit.

    The NC works better at shorter videos. I loved the bits with NC and his ranting, but by about the twenty minute mark, I was getting restless with this. Doug, you don't need 40 min to tell us how bad something is. You really don't.
  • Ryomon321  - Reply to zenfrodo
    Well, to be fair, this is one of the longest movies he's had to review so far, so of course, it's going to take some time to tackle everything.

    But I also have to agree with you on the cutaway scenes: they don't fit seamlessly into the video and it just feels tacked on. Not that the actors are bad, in fact, they're really good. It's just that we wouldn't be missing out on much if they weren't there either.

    I guess it really is just a matter of opinion: you either love them or you don't like them. And personally, I didn't care much for them. However, I still wanna say: NC, you're the greatest, and I'm glad I discovered you and your crew.
  • Shanetefilmmaker
    Actually as bad as his movies is and his attitude about the people's reaction to them Bay is not as stupid of a dick as we thought him to be. Think of it more in contrast of "Mean character, Nice Actor." When Bay is directing, Both Megan Fox and Bruce Willis can vouch that he is an asshole. But as a person I have heard he was a very nice person. In the words of Ebert. "His movies suck, but he doesn't."
  • snoofulus
    I was rather fine with those two things simultaneously running through the review - because they were funny and rewarding enough within themselves, making up for the mutual "contradiction".
  • ragingbaboon
    I couldnt disagree with you more, no offense. Honestly, I think your overthinking the cutaways. They are are comedy, not supposed to be triggering deep, emotional responses with character arcs and the like. I think they do a good job of keeping the reviews fresh or different.
  • Whyntir
    The entire reason why he does this is stated in "The review must go on". He wants to show that the makers of these movies are people who make huge mistakes, like Michael Bay, but also that they have feelings.
  • fox_metro  - Really? -_-
    Not every bit has to be tailered to ADHD levels. If your just relaxing with nothing else for awhile, a running gage is pretty great inbetween. It flowed rather well from where I'm sitting.(he said while in the middle of class)
  • AscendedHologram  - To all who say, "Stop with the 'bits,' Doug!":
    In all politeness, fuck you! (No offense.) Seriously, they're what separates the old NC, which was merely a short collection of endless, cartoon-y rants, running jokes, and internet memes, from the new "NC: Reloaded," which, honestly, is FAR more brilliant than his old NC material EVER was!

    Seriously, if you think you "don't like the bits," just go watch one of his old reviews, or even one of his LATER, final reviews from the old NC. WORLDS of difference! Seems the Plot Hole truly did the NC some good. ;~D

    Plus, frankly, the "bits" are brilliant! Effective comedy and satire, actually relevant and not totally random like as in, say, "Family Guy," and honestly, absolute genius!

    I mean, just tell me that his "finishing each other's sentences" mini-sketch from "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" review *wasn't* funny. Just tell me that this "life of Michael Bay" short WASN'T not only funny, but also *incredibly* good satire as well!

    I mean, to see that "Bay" was a "porn director" before he got his big break; that "his friends" were all stereotypically extremely black guys and stereotypically ultra-hot, extremely big-breasted women with hard nipples poking thru their shirts (which, BTW, nice touch there) constantly swishing their hair around like a model in a photo shoot (upon which they later hang that lampshade with the "black dude" saying "What the Hell's wrong with you," to the girl [again, NICE touch there]) JUST LIKE the stereotypes Bay always depicts in his films; and then that "Bay" later "found his style," even tho he makes terrible movies, by "filming [said terrible movies] pornographically" "in order to attract the masses of idiots and 13-year olds" with the slow-motion, low-angle shots, etc., raking in loads of money in the process, therefore explaining his improbable success; and, not to mention, the BRILLIANT satire of the Corporate Hollywood studio guys and their LOVE of Bay, was incredibly insightful and absolutely GENIUS.

    I mean, not to denigrate the Nostalgia Chick (whose reviews I LOVE), but you can either have Lindsey just explain it all to you in that brilliant, academic, "film student" way that she does (which, don't get me wrong, I LOVE), or you can have Doug and the gang act it out in hilarious, yet intelligent, satirical sketches, in which you can incorporate FAR more knowledge, material, and even jokes and comedy than you could in just a mere "explanation" alone, "Michael Bay's friends" being a good example.

    Plus, just think of the possibilities of crossovers! (lol, j/k!)
  • AscendedHologram  - To all who say, "Stop with the 'bits,' Doug!": (2)
    Honestly, before, I always preferred the likes of Spoony or the Nostalgia Chick to the old Nostalgia Critic. Their reviews were/are just more...intellectual, intelligent, smart, and frankly, mature than were the old Nostalgia Critic's cartoon-y, "Looney Tunes"-style series of rants, running jokes, and internet memes. I mean, the old NC was still funny, but it lacked a sort of..."intellectual analysis" which I always love getting from these reviews. I'm not 13, and I don't want to be treated as such. I like also LEARNING things from these reviews...insights that I never really had or just failed to notice before; not just laughing at some guy yelling about his suffering at sitting thru these bad films. (Tho I should add here, that when *Spoony* does that, it actually IS rather hilarious AND intelligent. With the OLD NC, tho, that just wasn't his style. He was just cartoon-y and silly.)

    In fact, it's *this* quality that makes Red Letter Media's "Mr. Plinkett" reviews so epically awesome, entertaining, fascinating, and hilarious, to the point that, even tho their length approaches, and sometimes even eclipses, those of the films he's actually reviewing, they're FAR more entertaining and fun to watch than said actual films themselves!

    So it's like the Nostalgia Critic "all grown-up," if you will. These reviews have some maturity and intelligence about them now that they, frankly, just didn't have (or didn't have enough of) before. ...and the comedy's gotten even BETTER, which I frankly didn't think was possible! (I mean that in the non-sarcastic, GOOD way. lol)

    Plus, in this way, he hasn't _really_ killed "Demo Reel!" (Which I also really liked.) It's more like he fused "Demo Reel" with the Nostalgia Critic in a way that truly makes them greater than the sum of their parts. It's really pushing the envelope of internet reviewing (not to mention the practice of including "sketches" within reviews), and I'm really encouraged by this new direction "NC: Reloaded" is taking.

    And honestly, Spoony and Brad (Brad Jones, a.k.a. The Cinema Snob) have probably already gotten me used to 30-40+ minute-long reviews, and I LOVE *every* minute of it! ^_^ (I mean, if you want short reviews, go watch The Cinema Snob's really old material. They're ~5-6 minutes long, EACH. lol!)

    So yeah, keep it up, Doug (and gang)! It's better than I ever thought it would be, and you're doing GREAT! ;~D
  • Sewblon
    I disagree. The sketches in "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" review did not tell a story, but the sketches in this review did try to tell a story, and they are both pure comedy. Something that is not meant to tell a story can be pure comedy. But anything that is actually meant to tell a story with an actual character-arc, and the character of Michael Bay as portrayed by Doug Walker did have an arc in this video, needs at least some serious moments to make us care about the characters involved. The sketches in this video did not have those moments, so in that sense, they failed. Also, showing Michael bay as a person with his own dreams, goals, pains and all that jazz, even though that is true in real life, distracts from the anger at him that the rest of the review is trying to express.
  • Sharkerbob
    Just going to second all this. I really love how this new NC takes each movie and not only reviews it in funny fashion, but builds an actual story around the skits. It's combining the best elements of old NC and Demo Reel.
  • Furluge
    I would just like to say I love this new format. I am catching up after a long time and this life of Michael Bay skit was just gold. So hilarious and it paints such a great picture of where Bay could logically come from.

    Now do Uwe Boll.
  • petrus4  - I'm not sure
    I think the one change that I don't like about NC, is the fact that he actually uses a musical intro/title card now. That just seems more self-conscious and less spontaneous. For some reason, it also implies to me that the format is pretty much finalised; that there are set expectations (at least in his mind) about what the show is going to consist of now. I've tended to notice with most things, that that point usually indicates the beginning of the end; but maybe I'm over-analysing.

    I'm also not sure about his desire to be an "entertainer," or MC in general terms, rather than just doing the Nostalgia Critic. I have noticed the gradual diffusion and loss of focus, and the inclusion of a larger and larger group of people in the videos, which I think has detracted from them, as well.

    On the other hand, I really like the Dreamworks-uary, and I'd very much like to see some more reviews from Doug of films that he actually likes, since he can be very thoughtful about explaining what he values in films which he regards as good.

    So there are positives and negatives. I get the feeling that the long term trend is that to at least a degree, we're losing the Nostalgia Critic; but as long as he keeps the archives up, and replaces it with something else that is just as worthwhile, it won't necessarily be that bad. Nothing lasts forever, after all.
  • T448ight  - Reply to AscendedHologram
    Its satirical because of a what seems to be a complete coincidence that no one even knows about? I liked the bits, but you don't have to start a post by saying "fuck you!".
  • AscendedHologram  - Sorry, that was meant to be polite,
    ...and said with a friendly laugh and a smile. ;~) Not EVERY use of that word is necessarily vulgar, you know...(but that kinda got lost within the textual medium. lol)
  • Grayhome  - I GET IT!
    I think the scenes actually made a really good point. Michael Bay made a mockery of Pearl Harbour by being historically inaccurate, so the NC and crew gave Michael Bay's life the same treatment, to show how you can turn real events into a laughing stock by being historically inaccurate. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I thought it was very clever.
  • Haon
    I've officially started filing every comment you make under "Shut the Fuck Up, You Pretentious Bitch".
  • Kyokkai
    I rather liked it myself. Why is it that you would dislike a joke with a story?

    I might understand if you maybe got exasperated with him repeating the exact same joke, in which yes within the spoof there are jokes that are played more than once -> the female demo reel actor waving her hair around too much for example but overall I thought each individual segment of the joke was different enough.

    I suppose if you dislike this though, you also dislike the director joke that drags on a bit in his The Haunting review and maybe the continuous timing joke in his Casper review? Perhaps his Rheumatism joke annoyed you after a bit during his Secret of Nimh 2 review? Did the bit in Scooby Doo where the review stands to a halt for a joke on how much it cost the company to animate the fart/burp scene get under your skin as well?

    In other words if you dislike this joke, surely you dislike the other similar jokes he's done right? Otherwise I would just have to chalk it up to a biased hate of the Demo Reel actors but that would be an assumption I won't make.

    If you really didn't like any of those jokes then yeah you have a totally legitimate opinion, you hate when he drags something on too long and that's perfectly acceptable.
  • TheShak2012  - God
    God the intro fucking sucks balls, please get to the movie.

    p.s. everything else you rock in!
  • AscendedHologram  - I thought that was the point?
    That entire intro was practically ABOUT "sucking balls!" ;~p
  • LikaLaruku
    I remember that the creators of South Park made a song for Team America that was all about how the Pearl Harbor movie sucked.
  • tweedel
    Bad movie bad bad baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ad
  • blanchfor
    I've been in the Navy 13 years, I have lost count of the sailors that told me they can't swim. All you gotta do in boot camp is just off a high ass platform and then stay afloat like 30 seconds. That's it.

    I know it sounds ridiculous to join the navy if you cannot swim but if you've ever been onboard a ship, even a small boy like a destroyer, its more of factory/office environment (with things like air conditiong mind you) than a "ship" (think of the golden pirate days) so a lot of people will join knowing they'll likely never actually have to swim. Class 2 swimmer is a real swimmer but that is optional for the Navy for most sea-going jobs.

    Imagine an office, but it floats and has some badass guns and/or fighter jets.

    Its only if the shit hits the fan (pearl harbor and thus WWII) that you'll have to be prepared to be blown to bits or at the least blown off your ship and force to survive afloat on your own.

    That being said everything else Doug said about the disrespect to military discipline is right on. This Mavrick bullshit does not work in real life. Not for one freaking second.
  • antony256
    I've been waiting all day for this!! ;
  • Gadzinisko
    So we are getting episodes every two weeks, but they are twice as long?

    Hell yeah!
  • PixelRelated
    I love how high-quality the new episodes are... though I wouldn't mind a couple of 17-23 minute long videos because doing homework and watching NC is how I spend most of my evening haha
  • Drain
    The movie is ridiculously long... thus the review had to drag some as well.
  • JMDarkly
    War vets are really going to hate this.
  • ladydiskette
    I was honestly surprised that of all people Michael Bay directed it. Of course, I am still having traumatic mind-blocks whenever I remember he also made Transformers 3.
  • Majin47

    Wonder why I don't remember it...?
  • T448ight  - Reply
    Nah, my grandpa hated the movie. He said it was largely inaccurate.
  • minnie3434
    Lol I love this review. Was confused about the Dirty German thing too
  • Zorro4k6
    Yeah, the review was awesome. I loved the jokes Doug. They were nicely put together. I was also perplexed by the Dirty German scene. Anyway, I never saw Pearl Harbor. I had no desire to.

    Now I know a lot of people hate Micheal Bay as a director and in my opinion, yeah he's not great. But I still enjoy most of his movies. They're just mindless popcorn flicks to me and I like that. I enjoy those kind of movies. Doug, I noticed that you said Transformers 3 was hated by all. But I liked it. It was better than the second one, which I also noticed you didn't mention. Although the second film wasn't that good, I still enjoyed it for the most part. I'm just going to come right out and say that I enjoyed the Transformers movies. Even if they aren't beautiful works of art, I still liked them. I guess what really gets me is that I have yet to hear anyone except for my friends say they liked the Transformers movies. Are they really that bad or is it just because Micheal Bay directed them? I could name a lot of movies that I find worst than the Transformer series. But that's just my taste in films. I guess that's what it comes down to. Everyone has different opinions.

    So I don't blame people for not liking the same films. I just find it unfair that Micheal Bay gets so much hate when there are other directors who are equally as bad if not worst than him. And other movies that are worst than the Transformers series. That's all I have to say on the matter.
  • pinky75910
    No, people hate the movies because Michael Bay made them that bad. There's nothing wrong with a fun action movie. What's wrong is starting with that concept, and saturating it with every MichaelBayism, destroying any chance for anything redeeming about the movie, stereotypical demeaning characters and no plot, and worst of all, by appealing to the lowest common denominator, he still makes enough money to continue making crap movies. And if he can get away with it, others will too.

    Michael Bay is to directing what SMeyer is to books.
  • minnie3434
    I actually like the Transformers movies. They were awesome as far as I am concerned. Atleast until they killed my favorite character. Whom in many version is immortal
  • Goobian
    That is what I hate about people. When people are happy to spend their hard earned money on mindless dribble. This is going to sound really pretentious but that is something people need to stop doing. You should challenge yourself. Even when you want to be entertained it should be clever and well written. Give you something to think about late at night before you go to bed. Not go see a movie that is just cliches and explosions. And an occasional pretty girl that leans over to pick up a pencil off the floor. Ugh.
  • minnie3434  - @Goobian
    Well I'm a girl sooo I don't really care about the pretty girl bending over. I loved the effects and the characterizations of the transformers. Yes their structure was flawed, and stereotypical but they were still enjoyable to watch

    And I don't throw money on what I consider mindless dribble. Shamalon lost my support after Avatar the Last Airbender
  • misomaniac0
    You do know you just prove Goobain's point right?
  • minnie3434  - @misomaniac0
    Well considering when it came out I was still a kid and never seen any of Shamalon's movies or knew of his reputation. Which means I didn't know it would be mindless dribble. So I didn't prove his point. I like what I like and I don't what I don't. No one can tell what to like, so I will continue liking it to matter what anyone says.
  • T448ight  - Reply to Goobian
    Seriously, who are you to judge peoples taste in movies? Get over other peoples opinions, dumb movies will always be around.
  • Souledge94  - @goobian
    I really get anoyed by people like you. If people like to spend their money on something mindless and fun and have a good time who are you to judge them. Your noone special. Your just human like everyone els. All you do is look down on others for not following your thoughts and thats freaking sad.
  • fox_metro
    I think he meant that in the sense of a large majority. For example, many people commonly make jokes about white people being boring or black people having large wangs as if it's natural to state it as their defining aspect, even though obviously there must be a few that aren't. Still havent found any though. It's called a arbitrary generalization that gets a main idea across. Here, it's that Bay doesn't think much of what will stay good verses what's fun at the moment.
  • Undertaker91
    I personally dont mind Bay as long as he sticks to what hes good at. I prefer to aim my hate at M Night Shamalan, now theres a crappy director
  • cvrpapc  - mb is a disease
    Michael Bay (hereafter "MB") is a tool that studios use to make money off of teenage boys and the delicately stated, "movie going public." MB makes spectacles.They aren't even really films. To call what he does a "film" is an insult to real filmmakers and artists who give a shit about the medium.

    MB has no vision, brings nothing new or engaging to the projects he gets "assigned." Even if you go back to popular film decades ago, odds are that you will run into pictures which are vacuous and cheesy but there is still a distinction. Even some of the worst films ever made in the 60s and 70s had integrity. I digress. The MB problem is that studios now mistake high-take at the box-office with the idea what people want MORE movies like "pearl harbor" and "transformers." The reality is we are SETTLING for whats available. Also consider what has happened to studios in the last two decades. The old system had been breaking down since the 80s. Most of the people now running the studios have no frame of reference to understand what makes a film good or bad. To them, its all bottomline and picking the least risky option. Do you think execs at Columbia would have greenlighted a project like "taxi driver" today? Doubtful.

    Its all about making a film to get the most out of the prearranged deals. Production and advertising costs have gone so high that there is genuine nervous panic about risky projects. If an executive finances what looks like a perfectly safe, stale piece of material and packs it with stars, and the production costs skyrocket way beyond the guarantees, and the pictures loses many millions, he won’t be blamed for it—he was playing the game by the same rules as everybody else. If, however, he takes a gamble on a small project that can’t be sold in advance—something that a gifted director really wants to do, with a subtle, not easily summarized theme and no big names in the cast—and it loses just a little money, his neck is on the block. So to the executives a good script is a script that attracts a star, and they will make their deals and set the full machinery of a big production in motion and schedule the picture’s release dates, even though the script problems have never been worked out and everyone (even the director) secretly knows that the film will be a confused mess, an embarrassment. So the new generation of filmmakers have MB as their avatar (no pun intended)
    The sad fact that has literally eviscerated our culture in this past decade or so is the change in publishing, magazines, and newspapers. They have passed out of the control of those whose lives were bound up in them, and into the control of conglomerates, financiers, and managers who treat them as ordinary commodities -- same with film today. But all that stuff from 25-30 years ago was part of a different America. Not the one we live in today.
  • titanrising
    They are only looking for that 'tentpole' script.
  • TheCynicalGamer
    This is a good length for a review, please keep going in this direction!
  • Mr Tweetems
    Fantastic review, War movies DONT need romance
  • Veran
    I feel they need more evil.
  • OdanUrr
    "All your base are belong to us." Priceless!
  • White Raven
    Not sure if I like the bits about Michael Bay. I loved the rest of the review, though
  • Marvelfan212
    I thought those were by far the best parts.
  • Mindyas
    Seriously hope I'm not the only one who notices this... but THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for the Wagner and Mahler music
  • choninja21  - I can't believe no one made this joke
    "This reminds me of my favorite movie, Pearl Harbor, those Japanese bastards got what was coming to America!"- Bandit Keith
    Sorry just couldn't help myself. :D
  • White Raven
    I can't believe I didn't think of that! Nice.
  • Smiffy666uk  - Well....
    Michael Bay might not be a great romance director, but I would totally **** that chair.
  • Kinnikufan
    I concur. Something about those's a very sexy chair.
  • PurpleTiger
    Dammit, someone beat me to this joke!
  • Snowman123
  • JerseyCupcake  - PORN IT
    Another good one Mr. Critic....I wonder what else he will do..Oh and PORN IT..Sorry couldnt help it
  • SakuraGirl31  - Way to go Critic!
    I loved this review! It was awesome! I'm so glad I checked again! I laughed so much and I love that the people from Demo Reel are in this too! ^-^
  • Welsh93  - What is porn you may ask!
    When you run out of dialog, lose track of your own plot, kill off your best characters, burn millions of dollars with out any regret that is when you are making porn. Porn is the end and it is the beginning, for it is the answer to ...

    Make a quick buck.
  • cvrpapc
    Brava! So true. That's why Doug's skit was clever and his observations were very relevant. I just wish he had taken it a step further brought it full circle. But that's fine, he made his point. The "Porn" line was really great. People who are critizing the skit clearly didn't make the connection between what he was saying "between the lines" about MB, his films, the state of filmmakeing if MB is being tapped to direct serious drama.

    I hope Doug doesn't listen to people about the skit. When he uses it to make statements about the film and other issues, its a effective critical tool. =p
  • hawkman917  - Pearl Harbor Sucks!
    As a history buff, this movie sucks!
    As a film buff, this movie SUCKS!!
    As a Navy veteran, THIS MOVIE SUCKS!!!!

    Sailors have to know how to swim just to get out of boot camp. If they can't, they're processed out! How dare Michael Bay treat the fighting men of our nation as crappy extras!

    Thank you for reviewing this movie!

    Skip "Pearl Harbor," Rent "Tora, Tora, Tora!"
  • DarkBee
    From what I've gathered, sailors, navy-men and pirates were a superstitious bunch in the olden days, and feared/respected the water so much, that they decided not to fight the water would they ever been caught in it, so they didn't learn how to swim.
    And maybe the need to swim just wasn't required back in the 40's.
  • TheGodEmperor
    Tora Tora Tora is the best movie about Pearl Harbor, agreed.
  • Isolder74


    Agreed(My Grandpa was in the Navy, Dad army)

    Yes watch Tora, Tora, Tora instead!
  • buckybone
    Not back then. Swim quals weren't mandatory until AFTER WW2.
  • bumblebeeman
    do a review on the grave of the fireflies if your going to do a world war two movie it is a great movie and you need to do a good movie for once.
  • Kkhohoho
    AHAHAHAHAHA! Hoo-hee...

    Look, I'm sorry, but Grave of the Fireflies is *not* a good movie. I could go into a *lot* of detail about it, but suffice to say, the big problem is in the middle, where the kids make a completely stupid and inane decision that they never go back on, even when doing so would likely save their lives, and prevent them getting killed. (And in case you're wondering, the decision I'm talking about is running away form the Aunt. Sure, she wasn't being all that nice, but she was still taking care of them. The kids had nowhere else to go, so, I'm sorry to say this, but they should have just sucked it up.)

    Seriously, even kids shouldn't be this stupid.
  • sdnoriko
    That was... kinda the point of the movie? It was based off of a semi-autobiographical novel that the author wrote because felt that his pride in trying to live without his aunt ended up getting his sister killed. And then he killed off his own character, because that's what sad people do.

    Yeah, kids were that stupid.
  • Floweramon
    Agreed, there are plenty of kids stupid enough to not swallow their pride and who think they can do everything on their own, even when the price is high. And given the semi-autobiographical nature of the story, I think the author knows that better than anyone.
  • thatchickwithlonghair
    A lot of people disagree with you. Is a child making a stupid decision really that inane for a movie to show?
  • PurpleTiger
    My entire anime class in college would have to disagree with you. Over thirty people in that class, and not a dry eye in the room when that movie finished. The thing about their decision to leave when you say they 'should have sucked it up' is... well, they're little kids. They don't know HOW to suck it up because they don't know what real life is like. They thought dealing with a sucky aunt WAS about the worst thing (past the whole fire-bombing thing).
  • Farson89
    Grave of the Fireflies is based on a true story, or rather bases on a novel which was based on a true story. The fact that what happens to the kids is largely Seita's fault isn't something the movie is unaware of, it makes no bones about it.

    You just made yourself look very silly.
  • DMaster
    't would be the first time this show overlapped Anime Abandon...though considering the subject matter of THAT movie, probably shouldn't go for it. Maybe as an editorial...
  • Nieroshai
    I don't know if he can make a comedic review about that. He's a comedian first and a reviewer second. Maybe as a Doug review instead of an NC?
  • SpeedyEric
    I actually like this film (good action, some touching moments, and nice music), and I'm not saying this because I love watching the Transformers films. SUE ME for liking some things that other people either hate or dispise.
  • batfan
    So this is what the nc reboot looks like... It may take some getting used to but i like it so far. Yea pearl harbor isthe worst war movie ever.
  • Bloodrealm
    It's not a reboot, it's a revival.
  • Nerwen Aldarion
    I liked this movie when it first came out (I was young), it took me a few years to realize how ridiculous it was

    LOL I loved that the Mako debacle is mentioned.

    The bits with Michael Bay were a little long though
  • SickBritKid
    What happened to your title card designer, Doug?
  • daughter_of_yahweh  - Attack of the Bay, huh?
    Interesting fact; Affleck and Hartnett's characters were actually based on two real life soldiers, Ken Taylor and George Welch. On the day of Pearl Harbor they really did wake up after a night of drinking, took a plane without permission and went shooting for Japanese. While landing for more ammo, they got yelled at by their superiors, probably for being suicidal. And they just went up and shot at more enemies. Yeah. Reality sometimes is exactly as badass as Bay sees it. ;)

    Story here; http:// winter08/story.asp? ID=271
  • zepolmas  - Here's the problem...
    That isn't the movie Bay made.
    That movie would've kicked all the ass.
  • Isolder74  - yep
  • Isolder74
    Or more badass you mean.
  • MTambourine
    I REALLY didn't like NC defending the US Army in any way, if any Army in the world didn't exist, the world would be much MUCH better.
  • iDEMANDWeekendAtBernies3
    It wouldn't be better for the people without an army to protect them. -_-
  • pinky75910
    Even if you had world-peace, war-research has yielded many advances that helps everyday lives. Not to mention having a standing army protects us from the inevitable alien overlords come to attack the earth.
  • Extreme-Madness  - re:pinky75910
    "Not to mention having a standing army protects us from the inevitable alien overlords come to attack the earth."

    Yes, we do have a chance to win an incredible technologically advanced alien civilization, of course (any alien race that has such an unimaginably advanced technology with which they can cross the incredible distances, would be billions of times superior to us in every way).
    The "war" against the aliens would not even last for 5 seconds.
  • fox_metro
    I think our response to that meteor proves we already lost.
  • jz1337
    Can't tell if sarcastic...or really naive.
  • DMaster  -
    I agree that the world would be better off without real armies and weapons, but when people voluntarily serve, when people have served and DIED for their service, their sacrifice has to be acknowledged. During the Iraq War, I in no way supported the war. That war was founded on fearmongering and misdirection from another conflict, and its only benefit was lining the pockets of the contemporary administration's corporate pals. But that doesn't mean I didn't support the troops. Actual people who go into the line of fire deserve acknowledgement, deserve support, deserve dignity. ...not ALL of them obviously, considering issues like the sexual harassment problems we keep hearing about (seriously, guys, GROW UP), but the majority do.
  • Kaedus
    I totally agree with this statement.
  • misomaniac0

    I agree with you totally you might find this interesting.
  • Dore
    That fact that you're not currently saluting a Nazi flag and have the freedom to post shit like that without being tossed into prison was thanks to the blood of American (and British, etc.) soldiers. Asshole.
  • Goobian
    Your proving his point. Because of the blind patriotic mindset after 9/11 they got people on board for the Iraq War. Bush wanted to invade Iraq before 9/11 and admitted it. They wanted to get their hands on the oil that was over there to make money. That is what that war was/is about. Which is sickening because people have died because of it. Because certain people question the actions of the government other people say you hate America and should leave if you hate it so much. People like me and DMaster love America and that is why we are offended because of how crooked things are right now.
  • atypicaloracle
    God I miss the ability to vote useless comments like this one down into grayed-out oblivion.
  • Extreme-Madness  - re:atypicaloracle
    Is this an argument or what?
  • cvrpapc
    ya reddit-like system should be imposed. Upvote and downvote would be nice..and a point system.

    To redesign the site wouldn't cost THAT much. Jesus... This site is crying for a redesign. Ahem...for the low low price of mountain dew for life, a signed copy of TBF, and free lifetime deep tissue massages from that big breasted got a deal tgwtg!
  • Nieroshai
    So... you say no country should be able to defend themselves, should another country decide to send their army to attack? There's being pacifist, then there's being fatally ignorant of real danger.
  • Extreme-Madness  - re:Nieroshai
    What if a country that sends army to attack, is your country? (All because of alleged weapons of mass destruction, which was never found, just to mention).
  • PurpleTiger
    I'd point out how many things were wrong with that run-on sentence, but that would be redundant as the people above me already have. I just wanted to make sure enough people pointed it out as possible.
  • SickBritKid
    Yes, because famine, internal strife, and all of the other things that CAUSE wars wouldn't exist if we just got rid of our armies...

  • WiiStation360
    Princess Oriana, is that you?
  • Extreme-Madness  - re:MTambourine
    Obviously, you've caused a lot of negative reaction.
    I'll just say that you have a very naive way of thinking. It's sad, but the world we live in, unfortunately, is not at all that simple.
  • MonkeeJuice
    I didn't know Michael directed porno. I thought he only directed over-produced trite.
  • SickBritKid
    Though the tripe he directed was rather trite as well.
  • fat1fared
    You do realise that when ether the subject or object is implicit, then they can be omitted from the sentence, right?

    In this case, it is clear that he/she meant 'trite films'; however, as it is presumable that reader will already know that he/she is referring to films, the word 'films' can be omitted to avoid redundancy.
  • iDEMANDWeekendAtBernies3
    Calling something "tripe" is a common phrase and the person obviously confused the expression and said "trite" as a noun instead of an adjective. Of course MonkeeJuice meant to use the word "trite" regarding Bay's films but it was used incorrectly. I find it hard to believe you are actually arguing that the person was attempting to structure their sentence in the way you are suggesting. Trite is not a noun. You're wrong, end of story.
  • fat1fared
    I know I will regret asking this, but you do know what the words 'subject' and 'object' mean, don't you?

    You see, I have to ask because I never said 'trite' is a noun, and the only way you could have mistakenly thought I did was if you do not know the meaning of these two words when they are used in relation to English grammar. Now, if you do not know their meaning, which seems to be the case, then one should worry about you correcting anyone's English. (Then again, considering how poorly structured your sentences are, I think that ship has already sailed.)

    Furthermore, neither MonkeeJuice nor I are not wrong; it is common practice in most languages, including English, to omit unnecessary information. This is why English allows you to omit subjects and/or objects when they are already implicitly stated in the context of the conversation.

    "Did you bring your keys?"

    "Oh, I forgot (to bring them)."

    If MonkeeJuice was writing an academic thesis on this film, then yes, it would not be considered best practice to omit the object, but I still have to highlight two points:

    1=He is not writing a thesis, he was writing a comment on an internet reviewer's website.
    2=What he wrote would still be correct because while it is not best practice, it is still not wrong to purposefully omit the object when it is redundant to state it explicitly.
  • MistwalkerKilyK
    I must say that though sometimes I miss the simpler style of the old videos, I like the style of the new, more elaborated ones. The participation of the other actor enriches the experience, and Doug seems to be enjoying --finally!-- his time as the NC all over again, so I can't complain, just enjoy.

    Keep the videos coming man!

    PS: I always turn off the Ad Block addons from Chrome when I come to this site, but the ads don't work whatsoever. Any ideas of why that may happen? I just wanna help you earn a little money from the sponsors :S
  • DMaster
    Sometimes the ads just don't work for me, though typically on videos that are small-traffic in the first place like vlogs. Strangely, YOUTUBE is the site I have more reliable results in getting ads with, even if I get Blip ads 85+% of the time.
  • iDEMANDWeekendAtBernies3
    He'll always be the greatest at making awesome reviews of shit. God Bless you Nostalgia Critic!
  • Ethan1994  - Awesome!!!
    Great episode Doug! :=)
  • Ronny
    Please bring back the cartoon title cards.
  • Spottedfeather
    Agreed. Get rid of the girl that was in the beginning, whoever she is. Get back to what made the Nostalgia Critic great. Don't have skits at the beginning. It just doesn't feel right. Luckily, I could just skip the first five minutes until the show really started....but if I have to skip parts of the show, which I've never done before, to get through it...that doesn't bode well for the return of the show.
  • thorondragon
    then you missed some awesome stuff dude and visual humor if you skipped that. you even missed the michael bay crucified scene that is just fucking hilariuos.
  • Nieroshai
    Boy, you must HATE Linkara then. Doug doesn't just want to be a reviewer, he wants to be an entertainer. Honestly, you have a choice. A choice to not watch what you do not like. If you're just here to find out whether or not you should like something, you're on the wrong site. Every big name on this site is an entertainer first and a reviewer second. "not making skits" isn't what made Doug great, "doing an awesome job at making bad movies funny" is what made Doug great, and he did that for nigh on an hour today.

    Also, the post you commented on didn't even mention the girl. Way to back up your credibility with relevance. You also weren't here for the Tommy Wiseau debacle, or you'd know he takes producers and directors into his crosshairs too, AND does skits about it.
  • Spottedfeather
    I like Linkara just fine. I loved his Power Rangers history videos. And I HAVE been here since the Critic started. What does Doug making fun of the producers and directors have to do with anything I was talking about. No, the post I replied to didn't mention the girl. I mentioned her. The post said that they wanted Doug to bring back the title cards. I agreed, then proceeded to point out things that I think would make the show better.

    I LOVE the critic. Just not with all these pointless changes. The Critic is at his best when it's just him and, at times, Rob. There shouldn't be all these other extraneous people in the videos. It's Nostalgia Critic. Not Critic N' Friends From A Failed Show.

    I never said that not making skits was what made the Critic great. I said "get back to what made the Critic great." Then, I mentioned something that would make the show better. Something that Doug rarely did before. Have skits at the beginning of the Critic videos.

    And Dragon, I didn't skip the whole show. Just the first couple of minutes that didn't have anything to do with what I've come to love about the Critic's videos.
  • sunnyl
    I completely agree with you.
    The new full cast sideshow bits are boring.
  • ThatManWithTheHeadband12
    Hold up, are you talking blonde wig girl at the beginning? She had nothing to do with Demo Reel, which DIDNT FAIL. Andyou keep contradicting yourself. You say stop with the pointless changes but then you tell him to have skits at the beginning of the video, which wouldnt be possible without the additional actors. And when Nier mentioned Linkara, he was clearly talking his storylines on Atop the Fourth Wall, while you bring up HOPR, which IS a great series, but WASNT Nier's point...What's your deal?
  • Spottedfeather
    No, you're just misreading me. I said that sketches at the beginning were something that Doug rarely, if ever, had done before. Maybe I typed wrong.

    I'm seriously having trouble understanding what you're trying to say. What does storylines have to do with anything we're talking about ?
  • Spottedfeather
    Demo Reel DID fail. The VAST majority of people here hated it, or at the very least didn't like it very much....and it went away. How is that not failing ?
  • Gagnon
    Agree! The skits just aren't funny and lack the intelligence of the review itself.
  • CineMatt  - So, you made a point of FDR standing up...
    ...but DIDN'T use the "Mein Fuhrer, I can walk" clip from Dr. Strangelove?!
Only registered users can write comments!

Follow us on:

Latest Videos

NC: WYNKA - Planes, Trains &

Watch Video

Bum: HG - Mockingjay P1

Watch Video

Yomarz: Farcry 3 - Blood Dragon

Watch Video

SF Debris: Dr Who - Blink

Watch Video

FB: Mr Turner & Nativity 3

Watch Video

ChaosD1: MMO - FFXIV

Watch Video

Shaun K: UG - To Be Continued

Watch Video

TNChick: Pump 23 - Another

Watch Video

Linkara: Avengers #1

Watch Video

Dom Reviews: Homeworld 2

Watch Video

RR: Cloudkicker

Watch Video

Animerica: Tokyo Majin, Part 2

Watch Video

GW: Leeroy Jenkins

Watch Video

Best for a Buck: Gunpoint

Watch Video

Ask Lovecraft: Tatoos

Watch Video

TNChick: Pump 22 There's No

Watch Video

BB: UnAmazing Spiderman2

Watch Video

Todd: Dick Tracy

Watch Video

MikeJ: Bare Lifts Infomercial

Watch Video

FB: Serena/Love, Rosie

Watch Video

Brad: Tries McRibMac

Watch Video

Linkara Riff: Why Braceros

Watch Video

Vangelus: Kyoryu Red

Watch Video

Nerd3: Big Hero 6

Watch Video

Team NChick: Pumptober 21

Watch Video

WTFIWWY: Love in Penguins

Watch Video

Blog Categories

What's Up? (145)
Sports (264)
News (285)
Book Reviews (569)
Funny (593)
Top # Lists (793)
Animation (1002)
Wrestling (1018)
Movies (1149)
Anime (1190)
Thoughts (1225)
Comics (1314)
Misc Reviews (1347)
Music (1547)
Video Reviews (2038)
Film Review (2863)
Uncategorized (4086)
Video Games (5435)
Old Blogs (15309)