Worst NC Reviewed Movies EVER!
Tuesday, 09 October 2012 21:17
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10.09.2012 - 21:42 | whatisthisidonteven
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10.10.2012 - 00:38 | ColeYote
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10.11.2012 - 20:25 | rdean1
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11.29.2012 - 03:13 | tommygun888
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10.09.2012 - 21:46 | lazyliving456Oh, man! I'm totally going to watch this and I'm totally going to love it! :D
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10.10.2012 - 18:50 | cvrpapc
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10.09.2012 - 22:15 | LadyTremereLove the list, those are some pretty horrendous ones...
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10.09.2012 - 22:19 | armagod679Wow. I don't think I've seen you get that mad at something since the Twilight: Breaking Dawn review. Honestly, though, I'm not surprised. I can't even stand to watch the review of GPK, and I sat through the Cinema Snob's discussion of Gross Out.
I don't think I could ever stand to do your job.
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10.09.2012 - 22:24 | einooI kinda thought North was gonna be on this list, but I guess not.
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10.10.2012 - 00:13 | DacilrielI though North would be on the list too. A movie has to be pretty bad if even Roger Ebert can't find a single positive thing to say about it.
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10.09.2012 - 22:42 | Bachattacks
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10.09.2012 - 23:24 | TragicGuineaPig
Monsters, Inc. totally ripped off The Giant Purple Snorklewacker from Bloom County.
Also, as for your number one pick: have to agree with you.
There are some movies that are just so bad, that no attempt to riff them can make them worth watching. To this day, I can't watch the MST3K showing of Hobgoblins, because the movie itself was so bad that two robots and a cheesehead can't save it.
And no slam to your talent, but I feel the same about your review of your number one choice: the movie itself was so terrible, that, to this day, I can't bring myself to rewatch your review of it. The sheer badness of the movie is like a black hole that sucks up anything good, so that not even humor can escape its terrible darkness.
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10.09.2012 - 23:23 | JJAlbert
Call me the devils' advocate, if you must. But I'm really hoping Doug will do a video on his top 11 least favorite reviews. Of course, I'm just saying it on the terms that he might just have a few NC Reviews he isn't proud of/felt he could do more justice with. Course, this is a bit much to ask of him. But y'know, it's only interestingt to hear. I'm sure we all have our least favorite episodes (That one with a certain Bart Simpson, notwithstanding).
So what would doug's least favorite reviews be? Just curious. :)
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10.10.2012 - 06:34 | LikaLaruku
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10.10.2012 - 18:47 | cvrpapc
I watched this very very intensely. I sat here and ate an entire box of luckycharms. Why? Cause they are magically delious?
No! Am I a fatty?
No!
I am not afraid!
Doug... was VERY excited about this topic. I have this passion for my hate of the film travesty of seizure inducing whimsy known as HOOK. Staring the "original" man-child ...Robin Williams. So much so that I rattled off 25 reasons once to my g/f when walking the Dog. Shortly afterwards, she left me. Learn from me. Take a lesson. Never tell your girlfriend about anything you like or any hobbies you have an feelings about. She will get jelous that you like something besides her. Since she is a selfish bitch...she tries to make it bad for you by getting involved in it. But you still like it...so she witholds sex. Doesn't work. So then she leaves cause she failed to suck out your soul. She eventually came back and became my wife.
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10.24.2012 - 00:25 | Heisanevilgenius
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10.25.2012 - 00:35 | the_purposeless_prince
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11.03.2012 - 21:16 | MoogletosserYou can't say that all women are like that...it's honestly offensive to make such an absurd stereotype. And maybe she thought you were over-reacting.
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10.09.2012 - 23:28 | sekiwat
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10.10.2012 - 02:08 | TWtch Grimm
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10.09.2012 - 23:28 | AmkusOne of my favorite top 11s. I hope you continue doing top 11s even though NC is no more.
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10.09.2012 - 23:38 | The_Masked_Donut
I know the NC is gone, but it's nice to still see some of that rage lies on in Doug. I know he's a character, but you know what they say about a character being an extension of the self. Anyway, I tried predicting what would make this list, but only got about half right. I guess I overestimated the big known bad movies with the actual personal hatred going on. I gotta say though, I saw Batman and Robin lately, and really, it is that bad, but I can't rile up hate for it since I knew what I was getting into and it's not boring or unpleasant, so there ya go.
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10.10.2012 - 00:16 | Kumi
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10.09.2012 - 23:48 | Cane
Doug, I finally signed up for this site for two reasons: To thank you guys for making so much awesome entertainment over the years - especially now that NC has come to an end - and to share with you this little fact, which I swear to you is true:
I somehow don't think that it took a lot of acting to convey your opinion on Garbage Pail Kids. Because to this day, I haven't been able to sit through it.
The REVIEW.
I couldn't even sit through the Garbage Pail Kids REVIEW.
I've seen every single NC episode, painful as some of those movies are, but I did not watch the whole review of Garbage Pail Kids. There was just nothing you could say, or do, or make fun of, that would make the hurting stop. I don't even remember much about it now, except for my head in my hands and my cursor over the "close tab" button.
Good. God.
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10.10.2012 - 06:09 | theseventhdoctorI actually didn't manage it the first time, but later I managed to watch the whole thing.
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10.09.2012 - 23:51 | Lone Wolf
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10.10.2012 - 02:03 | Guild Navigator
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10.10.2012 - 20:49 | Malvolio21I was expecting that, too. But I figure since that film had decent animation, it had at least one redeeming quality to keep it off the list (albeit just barely).
I also thought "Pound Puppies: The Legend of Big Paw" would be on the list, since in NC's review, he said it had "no redeeming qualities whatsoever."
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10.10.2012 - 05:45 | The Shamster
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10.10.2012 - 07:12 | Wario_man
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On October 9th the Nostalgia Critics reached out from the plot hone and took over the mind and body of Doug Walker. In his new body and with the infinite knowledge of The Plot he gain from the plot hole the Critic wrote, produced and stared in his own movies, a movie so spectacular, so epic and so entertaining all other media paled in comparison to it.
The movies will be made in record time and will be released on December 21st 2012, in the aftermath of the release all other media will die. In the golden light of the Critics movie no one will find any entertainment in other movies, TV show, books, music or games.
The collapse of of all media will drive the world into a depression the likes of which the world had never seen. The people of the world will escape their now impoverished live by continuously watching the Critics movie. It will be broadcast on every station 24 hours a day 7 days a week, it will be continuously show in every theater in the world, it will be projected onto every large building and even the moon it self. The people of the world will continuously watch the Critics movie refusing to eat or sleep for fear of missing one frame of the movies. Everyone will die of starvation in the glow of the Critics movies.
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10.11.2012 - 03:07 | TheForgeDude I so agree with you
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10.10.2012 - 22:14 | PurpleTiger
I was thinking the same thing! I'm sitting there going, "I'm starting to really believe that the Critic has a mind of his own, cause he's starting to take over a bit here..." lol
Also, when he says "This is the holocaust of cinema" does anyone else think he looks and sounds exactly like Brad Jones for a moment there?
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10.12.2012 - 02:17 | Semudara
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10.09.2012 - 23:58 | ManWithGoodTaste
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10.10.2012 - 06:28 | LikaLaruku
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10.10.2012 - 00:15 | DacilrielOh, I've been waiting for this list!
No Star Wars Holiday Special? Or does that not count since Santa Christ wiped the Critic's memory of it?
Have you seen Matthew Broderick in the musical version of The Producers? I thought he was good in that. (I also enjoyed him in the remake of The Music Man. I guess musicals are a strong point for him.) Oh, and of course The Lion King. On that note though, YOU DO NOT SHOW DR. CLAW'S FACE!!!
I enjoyed watching the Felix the Cat movie as a kid. I don't think I ever thought it was good; I think I enjoyed it in a so-bad-it's-good kind of way. If nothing else, it's visually interesting. (Of course I loved the Pink Elephants scene in Dumbo, so that may give you some idea of my enjoyment of surreal animation.)
I figured #1 would be on the list, though I wasn't sure if it would be the very worst.
Doug, I want you to know how much we all appreciate how much you have suffered for us!
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10.11.2012 - 03:42 | Bouncing Boy"Have you seen Matthew Broderick in the musical version of The Producers? I thought he was good in that."
Okay, I understand each word of that, and it seems to be grammatically correct, but somehow those words in that order comes out as gibberish.
I can't see how anyone who has seen the original version of the Producers could say that Mathew Broderick was good in the film musical of it (I never saw him perform the role on stage so I can't comment there, other than to say that his performance is very theatrical so it would probably translate better on stage).
Gene Wilder in the original movie of the Producers gave a very naturalistic performance. Yes, the character had over the top hysterics, but there wasn't a single moment where I thought "I'm looking at an actor pretend to go into hysterics!" I felt more like actually watching a man have a nervous breakdown.
Matthew Broderick on the other hand felt like he was playing a nerd rather than just being one. Like I said earlier, it was a very theatrical performance that probably would have worked better on stage, and he should know better because he successfully transferred a stage performance of his to film in Biloxi Blues.
I suppose I'm not being totally fair to Broderick, because comparing anyone to Gene Wilder (or Robert Preston for that matter since you brought up Music Man) isn't fair. On the other hand I do agree that he did well in the Lion King.
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10.10.2012 - 00:07 | tiggerbox29Wow doug i thought you was gonna stroke out at the end of that LOL
Awesome list really enjoyed and i almost got everyone right that i knew you was gonna choose
As for garbage pail kids the reason i like it is
because...
because...
oh i cant there is nothing to like about that abomination that my parents got for me on vhs as a kid which scared me for life
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I was also waiting for a listlike this, and I'm pretty sure which one takes #1.
11. I was pretty shocked to find out how much that movie sucked.
10. Thank you Doug for this review and getting me intersted in seeing the original 1963 film.
9. I still find this film as a guilty pleasure, and I'm playing the Guilty Pleasures song in my head as I write this.
8. I'll stick with real movies about people getting hooked up into a fantasy world, like The Matrix Trilogy and Inception, thank you very much.
7. Why the hell was this movie made, and WHY THE HELL was that goddamn sequel made.
6. I tried to like this film when I saw it, but thank god for my adult mind and your review. I also found it rushed when I saw it, and the thing is 76 minutes long, which is as long as one of Disney's animated fils at the time.
5. I also don't care for Pauly Shore, 'cause I find him as annoying as f**k. I wonder if other fols of this site would take there shot on reviewing other Pauly Shore movies.
4. I understand that some people like this movie, like my buddy BooRat, but after seeing the review, I discovered that it's not my cup of tea.
3. I respect both your and Lupa's thoughts about Little Monsters for various reasons.
2. Thank god I never saw this movie while growing up, because this film feels like it's treating it's audience as @$$holes.
1. The reason why your review on this movie is my #1 favorite NC review of all time is beause before seeing it, I never thought there was a bad movie that as bad as Garbae Pail Kids. While watching the film footage, my hed was growing a migrane as big as an apple, but at least I had a bottle of Pepsi by my side while watching it. (BTW, Michael Bay is a genius) I just really, REALLY hope that supid reboot NEVER, EVER gets blasted made.
The word you're looking for, Doug, is "horribufuckus."
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10.10.2012 - 01:25 | Fangheart
wow....I think Doug's opinion of Garbage Pail kids might just be the same as my opinion of Twilight....and Adventure Time. (most retarded, ugly ass "television show" I have ever seen in my entire life. if I ever had to watch that show, I would GLADLY switch over to Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. hell, I would PREY for Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog if I was forced to watch Adventure Time.)
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10.10.2012 - 00:19 | Stargazer77
Oh man even though I knew what the number 1 spot was going to be, I still didn't expect you to be so enraged over it. But as you said, some of us do enjoy it XD. Sorry for your pain Doug, but for a glorious moment there it felt like the Critic was back :) I myself am curious as to why anyone would like that horrendus film. Great list though, there were a couple on there I didn't expect. I thought for sure the Neverending Story 3 was going to be on the list. Also, for me the Felix the Cat review was the worst one to sit through. All the movement and noise gave me quite a migrain. The worst the Garbage Pail Kids did was make my stomach twist. Though without your humor, I would never had made it through either one :) I think that's the main thing I will miss about the NC; The ability to take something truly awful and make it enjoyable and funny.
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10.10.2012 - 00:19 | whowhatwhenwatchso doug how about we get a critic for good movies to see :)
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10.10.2012 - 00:22 | qazox
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10.10.2012 - 00:30 | Tetsu Deinonychus
Great list, although I actually like Little Monsters, Bio-Dome, and the Felix the Cat movie.
I'm just a little surprised and maybe a little disappointed that the second animated Titanic film (the one with Tentacles) wasn't part of this list. Especially, since you used the "NOOO" clip from that review.
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10.10.2012 - 00:39 | Sylphide
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10.10.2012 - 00:31 | Truxillogical
I work at a library. Fortunately, we do not have Garbage Pail Kids (yet), but we have so many legitimately terrible, thoughtless, lousy children's movies (think: The Frog Princess And Other Disney Rip-Offs), and your rant about showing that crap to children is one that the circ-workers have at least once a week. If the parents will check out whatever their kids grab, and the kids will literally grab anything off the shelf, why even stock the crap? Why does "it's for kids" excuse lousy movies? Why do they still get made? Movies are stories and stories shape who we are, and children...they're being shaped, dangit.
Anyway.
There actually was a movie that could almost be considered a rehash of "Drop Dead Fred." Disney used a similar idea for their made-for-tv movie "Don't Look Under The Bed." Instead of it being the girl's mother who banished her imagination, though, it was the girl herself, dealing with the scariness of a family illness and the feeling that she had to Grow Up to face it. For what it was, it was a pretty good flick, with some serious heart in the right moments.
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Haha oh when I saw this list pop up I said to myself garbage pail kids is at least in the top 3. And behold it was and I understand why. Me and my best friend tried to sit down and watch it from start to finish. It couldnt happened we didnt make it past 25mins. If not less than that. & we have seen bad & awful movies some on purpose others by accident and was able to watch them. But that one no no no no. If you find that person that likes garbage pail kids please let us know. Thank you for your hard work.
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10.10.2012 - 00:41 | itstheblueguy
Garbage Pail Kids... Uh, I guess I like it because I never actually had to watch it and it gave us some of the best Nostalgia Critic/Doug Walker moments!
Actually, I skimmed rottentomatoes.com to find some fans, and it looks like they exist in the form of people who collected the cards just to be REH-BULS! who could handle gross stuff.
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10.10.2012 - 02:22 | TWtch Grimm
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I found a few reviewers on IMDB, who said they liked it.
Common Points to people on IMDB saying they like it:
-It's good cheesy 80s fun.
-My Kids liked it
-I collected the trading cards and thought it was cool to have a movie based on it
-If I turn off my brain I can laugh at it.
-The obvious out of sync mouth movements was "Good"
-If you can get past the bad story and acting, it's a decent film
I love the fact that even people reviewing the movie positively have to make concessions about how bad it is. You know a movie is bad when even its supporters say "yes, but"
EDIT**** apparently they're making A NEW GARBAGE PAIL KIDS MOVIE. It's in development, by Disney and Topps again. ...
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Really? Disney's developing the new Garbage Pail Kids movie?
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Wow. You know, from the Nostalgia Critic's review and Doug's personal review, this GPK movie seems REALLY terrible! ESPECIALLY for kids! And I REALLY love Disney, even though I don't really like all the movies.
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Well, if DISNEY is helping to bring the new movie to life, I HOPE they can da BETTER job than this movie! After all, Disney can/does teach lessons, and is family-friendly most of the time even with harsh moments.
Maybe they WILL do a better job! Maybe the story could be that these kids are living a HELL-ish life and people are making fun of them, knicknaming them the GPKs, until something happens and the moral comes up saying that they are poeple even though they look ugly. Maybe THAT could work, as opposed to THIS film where it's constanlty mean-spirited and keep insultig and offending instead of learning a lesson.
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10.10.2012 - 00:42 | RiverwalkerWorse movie I have every seen, EVER, was "Welcome to Woop Woop". It made less than no sense, and the characters were horrible, horrible people. It's like if you crossed Deliverance with a concentration camp, because anyone who tries to escape will have the rest of their family run out and eat popcorn while trying to shoot them dead, before turning them into dogfood. To this day I cannot recall if it took me 1 or 2 days to start to recover from the shellshock of watching that movie.
And you are right, Doug. I WAS waiting for this list :D