You’re surprised that Peter Fonda and Alec Baldwin are in this movie? Clearly you’ve NEVER watched the PBS show Shining Time Station, which starred George Carlin as the conductor. That’s a hell of a lot more shocking, since Fonda and Baldwin have done their share of shitty films.

George Carlin?! That would be so weird; I wonder if any of it's online...

not my most favorite review, but it still has some funny bits, Sparkle Sparkle Sparkle. I guess it's probably because the original movie is so freaky, weird and scary that despite the jokes, it still looks freaky, weird and scary. Had the same issue with the Good son. I still haven't been able to watch that review all the way through because the movie itself is just....ugh no words. they're still bad movies to my eyes but upset my balance of being lol.

Anyway, i give it a respectable 4 out of 5 stars. good job :)

-edit I say 'freaky, weird and scary' meaning whether or not it intends it, the plot/acting/movie is so retarded that it's freaky (no realm of normalcy thinks its good), Weird (upsets the balance of the world), and Scary (makes me want to call for my mommy even though i'm 27 years old)

Check Youtube for the George Carlin narrated Thomas episodes from the first 4 seasons. Trust me, they're freaking hilarious in hindsight.

Other surprise celebs that lend their voices to Thomas narration are Ringo Starr and Pierce Brosnan.

There've been a myriad of narrators for the show; Ringo Starr, Michael Angelis, George Carlin, Michael Brandon... hell, Pierce Brosnan had a few guest narratives!

The only reason Baldwin got the role is because he was already Mr. Conductor for the show.

Don't you mean the narrator for Seasons 5-6? George Carlin and Ringo Starr were already Mr. Conductors for the show (at least before quitting in the mid 80's for Ringo and the 90's for George)...

i grew up with the George Carlin Tomas episodes, i loved Mr. Conductor. there's this one stand up i saw of him where he's like 'i want to address the younger folks in the audience. listen to Mr. Conductor,' then he said his joke, can't remember what, but he said that. i loved the show , if only for George.

God, this takes me back, I grew up watching Shining Time Station back when George Carlin AND Ringo Starr were the conductors.


And and by the way, if Barney pulled that in his show I would have probably encouraged any little kid I know to watch that show more than Seseme Street.


Mostly, due to two things: Barney Swearing and it made the show a bit more interesting.

6:15-Doug, may I call you Doug, its Didi Conn, having starred in that show for a couple of years, I think she is used to having small magical conductors pop up at anytime. Don't underestimate her.

And George Carlin replaced Ringo Starr, and Stacy Jones was played by Didi Conn, the beauty school dropout herself. Carlin even referenced this part in his routines" "F*** the children! You heard Mister Conductor say that!"

Yeah, and the person George Carlin replaced? Ringo Freaking Starr.

you just mentioned one of my favorite shows, I loved george carlin, even before I knew who he was

Oh shit!!! You are right George Carlin was in that show. Damn, Carlin was a "God-send" lmao. I love that guy... "He is all powerful and all knowing but he needs money, just can't money right." LMAO!!!!

Aye, I remember George Carlin from when I was a kid watching this show.

Just like I remember Alec Baldwin was doing the same role (US Narrator) during the time-frame this movie was made (late 90s, early 00s). So it only makes sense for him to have a role in the series' movie adaptation.

Not really much of a surprise. Now, Peter Fonda on the other hand...

- - - - -

6:45 = I wonder if the "Mr. Conductor" version of Nostalgia Critic was supposed to look like the "Jukebox Band" members from Shining Time Station, a Thomas spinoff series. Yes, my mind keeps track of weird, utterly pointless information.

For the American audiences, Shining Time Station is as much as a childhood memory as the 5 minute Thomas segments. So it's not really that useless in terms of information.

Ringo of the Beatles was the conductor in the older tv show.

Yes, it was first Ringo, then George, then the show ended.

When they wanted to bring Shining Time back for this movie, they utilized Alec Baldwin since he was the narrator of the regular Thomas segments in the US at the time.

With Ringo Starr...
It weirded me out as a kid to see Mr. Conductor with earrings and a ponytail.

Don't forget Ringo Starr.

That's a good thing to point out. The show WAS called "Shining Time Station", not "Thomas the Tank Engine," and featured many characters. That's probably why the movie didn't feature the titular character all that much. They likely named the movie that way so more people would recognize it for what it was, as well as having a lot of characters to include.
I barely remember watching the show, but I do remember I really liked it. However, as with most young children's programming, a feature-length film was probably unnecessary.
I do have to say I agree Fonda's performance in the clips shown was really dramatic.
Also... that was George Carlin in the show?!

Thomas the Tank Engine was the original show. And only featured the trains. Shining Time Station used original episodes of Thomas the Tank Engine and added some new footage of new characters as well.

WRONG!

Shining Time Station is the AMERICAN version, how the US were introduced. The show's REAL name was "Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends", later shortened to "Thomas and Friends".

This film would have been better if they hadn't based it on the crappy STS.

Not that bad of a kid's movie. It just doesn't have much of a plot and barely uses Thomas, the train, which is expected to be the main star given his name is in the title. At least the movie makes some degree of sense though and isn't completely retarded like Ponyo. This is the movie you could defend here, yet the far more shitty movie gets it instead. I don't get it.

I would give props to Ponyo for not having delusional characters giving glassy-eyed narrations to the camera, myself :P However, both of them look like really weird movies lol.

Ok. What the FUCK do you have against Ponyo?! From that comment you made on the Ponyo review I know that you've never seen the damn movie. I bet all the comments you've ever made on reviews are "This is a piece of shit [insert what type of material the reviewer is reviewing]". Unless you've actually seen something you have no right to say it sucks, you just sound like a sheep when you do. It is the weaker of Miyazaki's films but it's still pretty damn good.

Love this review. I found myself laughing my ass off even upon re-seeing it. XD
Hey everyone! Sparkle, sparkle, sparkle!!! *w*

What kind of crack are people like you smoking Voodoo??? That's all I have to say to ya.

Ponyo is WAY better than this film. For one thing Ponyo didn't have a huge fanbase to disappoint.

Did Voodoo share his crackpipe with you?

That was George Carlin???? *cue Thomas' spinning-eyes + O-mouth expression*

...and before that they had Ringo Starr of the Beatles no less play Mr. Conductor!

SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE, BITCH!!

Sparkle sparkle spackle!

...wait

sparkle sparkle sparkle

the perfect thing to say after sex

In true childhood destroying mode form! Grate review! I never lived the show >_>
3:30: Why would you keep juggling in a phone booth!
Wait! Generic Town is in the real world?
9:00 Oh snap, new meme
9:45 ... My face too
14:02 see, Mr. Critic, its not just in Miyazaki moves where a reaction can just be "Well that was weird"
15:39 ... I'll try harder next time.
19:17 ... Wait what? Its over!?!?

Awesome review.

Is this real?...

I'm not high or dreaming right now am I?...

WHAT THE F@&%!?

I don't...How did...vowel sound...

You know what? I'm just going to chalk this up as some sort of odd dream that I'm having because The Nostalgia Critic was to busy with a con or something to put out a video. This will just fade from my memory like all my other weird dreams.

No, no. You're fine! But this movie still exists.

hmm...is it just me or is 95% of the Critics reviews after the introduction to what he's reviewing starts off as "So the movies starts" or "So lets jump right into ******" Always starts off with "So"...
There are many ways other then "So" you can use such as:
"Firstly we see..."
"In this scene..."
"At the start of the movie we get..."
"After/during/before the credits..."
"In the beginning"

Other then my criticism on your..um..criticism, you make a lot of good points in the review and now I'm preying that the 2 year old in my life doesn't find this movie amongst the rest of the Tomas movies that co-exist now days :P

Oh my god.
I haven't even watched this yet and already I'm excited.

You'd be better off NOT watching the movie.... It'll save you your sanity!

I like how the morons troll me for basically saying the same thing but don't even look at you.

I was actually hoping one day you would get over your fear of Barney the Dinosaur and review “Barney’s Great Adventure,” but I guess Thomas the Tank Engine is the next best (or in this case “crackiest”) thing PBS gave us. I should also note that I never heard that someone made a Thomas the Tank Engine that starred Peter Frackin’ Fonda and Alec Flippin’ Baldwin; even if I had, I would have imagined it’s a myth and forgotten it completely.

I remember a scene in the Dennis the Menace movie where Dennis’s babysitter’s boyfriend is asking him the logic of the trains, with questions like “How can a train grow up?”

I lost hope for this movie completely after seeing Mr. Fonda taking his role too seriously, and I which Mr. Baldwin’s role here was a parody sketch for SNL. BTW, I enjoy Fonda’s role as Mephisto in the Ghost Rider movie; he didn’t made Spider-Man a deal in that movie.

7:39- I had a cat named Sparkle. No, seriously. I guess my family named her that because she had a sparkle in her eye. Also, we got her on my first birthday.

10:51- I think this scene would work good if it was in a movie that DOESN’T TAKE EVERYTHING SO SERIOUSLY.

12:17- No. TUNA is good for the brain, and CARROTS are good for THE EYES.
12:55- Told ya.

During the interactive scene, I started to feel that some Garbage Pail Kids Movie logic was put into the making of this film.

I find Junior as the Lenny Luthor from Superman IV of this movie. He dresses like he doesn’t give a crap, he talks like 90s Kid, and he’s really, REALLY annoying.

I also find no reason why this film needed to be made other than PBS making a quick buck, and I’m sure the same goes with the Barney movie, which THANK GOD I’ve never seen.

Oh Cthulhu not even I am that cruel to make him watch Barney in anyway shape or form! XP

Wow Dennis the Menace! Now that's a review I want to see!

You know this movie actually sounds more watchable if you think of Fonda's role here being the same character from Ghost Rider! XD

7:39-All this Sparkle stuff and I'm surprised no MLP jokes!

12:17-Shhhhh... you'll hurt their brains with thinking!

There's such a thing as Garbage Pail Kids Movie Logic!?

John Cryer!?

I'd figured they'd gone with another Sesame Street movie or Muppet's film then! They own a lot better properties than this!

Sparkle Sparkle Spark-oh fuck it!


You know, I have to say, out of all the movies Mara Wilson starred in. She seems the most laid back and realistic of her child roles in this film.

Maybe its as Doug said and she is kinda getting older, but still you rarely see her act cutesy or precious. Its a nice relief from all the other type casted roles she was in. Shame it has to be something juvenile like "Thomas and the Magic Railroad" but you know what, people have to start somewhere to break out of the mold.

Like I said, I don't get the hate for her.
What's wrong with a cute little girl being cute? :/

the train faces....
the train faces will come for me in the night.
i close my eyes when alone and in the darkness...



all i see are the tank engine faces coming for me

Peter Fonda is clearly just ashamed of the choices in his life that led to him being in the movie.

I had never understood the appeal of Thomas it scared the shit out of me as a kid but this made it even worse with no mouth movement and just being overall creepy. Hilarious review for a creepy movie.

Having just watched it an hour ago, I dunno whether to like or hate this review. Granted this movie IS total garbage and some of the complaints in this review are legit, but majority of the review seems to be needlessly harping on those elements that MAKE the show enjoyable: static faces, equal focus on all the other engines as much as Thomas, etc.

Doug did tackle this movie as, for lack of a better term, a real critic. Stuff like the actors and juggling subplots are some of the various criticisms that this movie garnered when it was new. But I believe the reason why this review rubbed people the wrong way is because Doug DIDN'T watch the show. In the same way that Doug didn't watch Pokemon and was criticizing some of the weirdness of the show that is supposed to be the norm, this was the same in Thomas, criticizing the aforementioned elements that made the original show enjoyable. While I like this review to some extent, if Doug didn't watch the show, I think it would've been better off if he never reviewed the movie at all. The Thomas fanbase generally hates this movie because of so many things that are changed from the show, and if Doug doesn't know any of those changes, then the review just comes off as half legit complaint and half nitpicking for the sake of nitpicking.

Ironically, what Doug listed as what needs fixing in the show (moving faces and more Thomas) is exactly what is so WRONG about the Thomas show today. The CGI faces look awkward, and Thomas is SO EVERYWHERE in the new show it's damn annoying.

well said, my friend. railway series forever!

It's a good point you make about him not watching the show, but in sense to me, it can also work in his favor. That way he can give a true neutral review and not play any favors.

Like with the aforementioned Pokemon movie. Yes, people who were fans of pokemon were the main audience, but there were still a few stragglers who just didn't watch the show or maybe even never heard about it and just thought "Hey! This movies seems interesting and I have nothing better to do".
A mark of a good movie is that people who've never seen or even heard about it's source material should still be able to enjoy it and not be left in the dark.

Oh well, I thought this review was good, but then again I think that every review is good. 'Cause I'm funny like that.

Eh, I think he's right about the static faces in this case; it worked on the show because it's a story being read out of a book by one guy; not having the mouths move works in a Reading Rainbow sort of way. But this movie shifted it to taking place in a "real" world with human actors and voice acting and even full-sized engine props in some shots, but the wide shots still look like toy trains in a model railroad. This is the sort of thing that would have had to be some sort of live-action/CG hybrid with an effects budget good enough to make the trains look life-sized and real. But that would have entailed wasting a ton of money on what would still be a terrible film, so I take it all back.

You make a point about the static faces, and Doug saying that as a multi-million dollar movie, the animatronics should be better. But he criticized it for the wrong reason; he thought the show had an extremely cheap budget.

Even if the movie did receive the moving facial expressions, it'd still be creepy (case n point: the CGI series...)

Quantum, I couldnt agree more. I mean when i saw this movie i was so confused due to all the inconsistencies. The biggest one was that there was already a character named Diesel. THe guy was black(i mean the engine was black, not a black actor)and kinda cunning. this guy is just some cardboard cutout bad guy with a claw, nothing else.
Though the review does bring back memmories, i want to thank everyone for the comments more than anything. Im happy to see that there are people out there that really do love the old Thomas shows and respect them. im 19 and have almost all the orginal videos of the show and watch them a lot because of how much i like them. i used to think it was a little bit nerdy but thanks to you guys i feel a lot more confident about it.


by the way did anoyone else get an annoying orange vibe when he put his mouth on thomas?

LOL! Oh god, i thought I was the only one who thought that. Yes, I totally thought that was Annoying Orange-y. I've noticed that Doug hasn't had a single review that was voted higher than 4.5/5 in a long time. His early work was like, 4.95/5 across the board. Considering how gratuitous the TGWTG community is on rating, this seems pretty low to me.

I never thought I'd be in a situation where this sentence would be applicable, but... Where's George Carlin when you need him? I swear, this movie wouldn't have been such a rape of my childhood if the Man of Many Words had reprised his role as Mr. Conductor (I grew up watching his performances on Thomas and Friends, never realizing how much profane joy he would bring me in the years to come).

But, in fairness, I can't blame him for not wanting anything to do with this film. If I've learned anything from this catastrophe, it's that when a franchise needs to die, it needs to die.

When the franchise needs to die? Technically at the time this movie came out, the popularity of Thomas worldwide was at its greatest.

NOW though, is when the franchise needs to die.

GUIL-TY PLEA-SURES!

This is the first time you've reviewed something that I grew up with. I haven't watched the review yet, but I'm afraid of what it's going to be like to have you destroy something I used to cherish.

Bah. It won't be so bad. He did it to my favorite movie growing up, "Drop Dead Fred".

Its really fun to see him rip something you like apart actually. You really get to see your flawed thought process as a child and get a damn good laugh at it. Seriously though, the Critic needs to play more of that "Ave Satani" song. Its fucking halarious when played over something goofy and not serious.

Hope this was'nt too bad for ya :)

is it me? or is the timing off on this episode? I am not quite sure, I have reloaded 3 times

have you tried closing your "mature" videos?

mature videos? I didn't have any open, but I DID do a virus scan and I think it works

don't forget everyone that Ringo Starr was on the tv show as well!!

XDDD LOL MAKE SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE A MEME@

Ha Ha! That shouldn't be too hard.

HEY GUYS!!!

SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE!!!

Frick yeah! Sparkle Sparkle Sparkle!!!

YYYYEEEARRRRHHH!!!!

????HHHRRRRAEEEYYYY

Great job Critic, that was amazingly funny. The Phone call scene topped it.
You might want to look up the TV show "Shining time station"; it'll answer some questions.

Man this movie probably would have been better if it had Ringo in it instead of Alec Baldwin.

Well.
My soul journey is complete.
See you all in the plasticine nether regions of sodor island.
*floats into the glowing ether*


*plummets from the glowing ether*
...Apparently, when God told me that he'd make me equal to him when someone reviews a Thomas the Tank Engine movie that stars Alec Baldwin, not only did the big guy not believe me when I told him that I had seen such a movie movie many times in my preadolescence(and subsequently twice more in my adulthood to assure I didn't somehow imagine the whole thing), but he never thought someone would actually take the time to review anything "Thomas the Freaking Tank Engine".

This movie can rub my knob until it sparkles, sparkles, sparkles!!

Yes. Congradulations, Critic. You've just created a new internet meme.

i loved the shining time show when i was little, awhile ago i was riding with my girlfriend and her little sister she put this movie on, not seeing shining time for 10 years my interest peeked then died on how the show i grew up with turned into that, rage quit

Oh, the face-palminess of it all!

Even so, SincereMovieAnnouncer! Critic is hilarious, and also hilariously naive of the horrible fate that awaits him.

And you're right, an all-out war between this movie and Mr. Roger's Land of Make Believe would just... make my life. Won't you be my neighbor, sucker? Won't you be my ball-scalding, soon-to-be-dead neighbor?

This movie needs more George Carlin, and Mr. Rogers is awesome. Moving on!

FUCK YEAH SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE!

Peter Fonda and Alec Baldwin with Thomas the Tank Engine? Epic. Fail.
Also, did you know that the little girl also was Matilda? Yeah, I know you don't like that movie, but she was.

Hagan did it first.
*No one gets the joke*

You see I liked Thomas the Tank Engine when I was a wee little lad. So yeah this review was several flavors of awkward. But yeah Critic like most things in life Thomas the Tank Engine really doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Also I was Expecting a cameo from Diamanda Hagen for some reason, oh well :3 Good luck and SPARKLE, SPARKLE, SPARKLE, MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

As a 30 Rock fan, this is so surreal....and a clip really needs to get on the show at some point, as an embarrassing low point from Jack Donaghy's past or something.

I would do it in the next three months while Alec is still under contract and can't leave.

They did(sort of)

In one episode of thirty rock, the writers on floor six discover that an online audible dictionary thing has every word in the dictionary said in Jack's voice.
Liz talls him about this oddity, and Jack informs her that he once took a job in college saying every word in the english language.
He briefly elaborates that he has had several problems stem from it before, including his voice being used in various productions. The one he ends on is "Thomas the Tank Engine".

Oh, and sparkle sparkle sparkle =D

FUCK YEAH, SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE!!!

ugh!! this one really hurt.