I suggest Brazil as a review

Brazil is Doug's favorite movie. I doubt he could find many bad things to say about it.

Not all of Doug's reviews are negative.

And not all reviews are movies he hates. He stated in the Hook review that he actually liked the movie before tearing into it.

Mostly I like to think of it a comdey review like MST3 but with swear etc but in a good way. in this you can watch the veiwer suffer and make jokes =w=

Brazil?

Seriously? It's Doug's favourite film. Unless if he does it the same way Cinema Snob did with Caligula, then i doubt The Critic can shred such masterpiece.

Speaking of this movie, why didn't they make the sequel a handycam First Person film just like the first? This movie would have been a lil' more decent if it was about a guy recording a bunch of morons with a handycam and then die.

He's being sarcastic you idiot

You know it's not all that easy to read sarcasm in writing.

That's what [sarcasm] tags are for! Only it makes things a bit hard to read if you actually use them...

I really don't understand how he could like that movie...I couldn't even finish it.

Different taste, obviously.

You obviously don't know me *faceplam* I watched the movie thinking that I would like it.When honestly it's the worst wanna be surreal movie I've ever seen.

I apologize if it seemed like I was insulting you or pretending to know you, but I think my point still stands. Not everybody's going to like the same things. You don't like Brazil, Doug does, it's that simple.

Why you keep pointing out things I already know???
I'm just saying I don't like it.I'm not personally telling him not to stop liking the movie.

Well, you said you couldn't understand why he likes the movie and I responded by saying that it's a matter of different taste, that's it. And I'm not trying to agitate you, honestly.

Jesus Christ,what I MEAN by "I don't understand" is how he could buy into that movies bs,it's a movies that's trying to be artistic and fails.That's what your not getting.That has nothing to to with taste Because it's clearly trying to hit for being a surreal movie and I LIKE surreal movies.It's a matter of seeing something for what it really is.

Also, Stratus, Zydrate really hasn't done anything to provoke this kind of reaction out of you. I think you're just being a hyper-aggressive jerkypants.

And Zydrate is just saying you think this, Doug thinks another thing. Contrary to your and popular belief, one group can like something and another group can dislike the same thing without either being wrong. It's just a matter of TASTE. Some people like Horror movies, others like Comedy. Some people like Brazil, others don't. Get over it.

"That has nothing to to with taste". Wrong. It has everything to do with taste. What you are trying to do here is elevate your own opinion above someone else's by creating false "proof" out of thin air in your favor. That's one of the oldest tricks in the book.
"Hey, everyone's allowed their opinion, and I respect yours, but secretly mine is worth more. In fact, secretly I don't respect your opinion at all because you're wrong".

You're both pretty, calm down.

Jeez, are you a bitch.

Really? It's a brilliant film. The pacing is a bit slow, but it's done with purpose to make the viewer feel the same boredom and claustrophobia that the main character feels.

Yeah, that was my problem with it. It really dragged for me. That and I really couldn't get behind the main character. I don't hate him as much I do the protagonist of The Graduate and Taxi Driver, but he now reminds me of what "Girls With Slingshots" was talking about with 'try harder to win the lady even though she clearly doesn't want anything to do with you.'

That's what the forum is for, Skippy.

And I, Balto Stephen Winter, a man with no identity, no followers, having no ounce of importance on this website suggests (thunder) Eragon.(bum bum bum)

Just because you want it doesn't mean he'll review it.

Also, I'm getting tired of this "Based on real events" tag on movies. We know its faked, or falsified. "The Fourth Kind", That Apollo movie, "Paranormal Activity", and "Twili- I mean "The Blair Witch Project"

I did not put the tapes there. It's bullshit, I did not hide them. I did noooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooot...tttttttttttttt ttttttttttttttttooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooottttttttttttt ttttkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnn.

The mothers are watching you. Be careful all that you do. Be careful all that you do, because the mothers are watching you.

the closest i was able to do it - without actually buying the song - was playing the track sample from cdbaby during that moment (if you click play right when nc says "erica and steve have a wiccan good time ... ", it'll cue up fairly well).

and it's absolutely brilliant =D

edit: hit play when nc says "somehow" (if you do it right, nc will say "rude" right after the sample ends)

Shitty movie. Has nothing to do with the original, makes no sense at all.

Oh man, let's do it!

I don't believe Michael Westin would go crazy in any woods.

Ugh, anyone think this sequel was a Blair Witch curse in itself? >___

In my honest opinon, it just ruins the mystery of the documentary footage and the possibilties of what "happened" to the "film students" from the first movie.

To me it was better left to the imagination and that is what scared me the most about Blair Witch was we had no idea what happened-fear of the unknown.



But this sequel trying to make sense of it and put some backstory plot no matter how shitty it is takes all the fun and intrigue out of the first movie. Even if the sequel was good, it was to me, no need for it.

This movie is so bad that hardly any one ever even knew about it. Hell, I never saw a single ad for this movie.

What I realized the night after watching this review is, this isn't a bad concept. Messing with the footage so you never knew what real and what wasn't. Adding a leveling of mystery. But it was very poorly handled.

If you read the companion books, you know that the students are killed in the first.
My memory is hazy, but I believe that Rustin Parr (who I think was supposed to be under the influence of the witch) used to kill children in his home, and he'd have them all facing the walls while he selected one and killed them one at a time so the others could hear it.
In the first film, that's why one of the students was stood facing the wall, the witch was re-enacting those murders. The whole back story they had set up for the original film is just as interesting as the movie was.

The First and the pseudo-sequel are winks to the actual events on which they were based on.

How the crazy black haired guy(I don't remember the names in BWP2) was institutionalized is, perhaps a wink to Kyle(sole survivor of Dustin's killing rampage) spending his life in Psychiatric wards.

Maeby even how all the characters were possessed and black out is a wink to Dustin's possesion by the lady in black he used to see.

Now that I know all of this and I put it together, it seems as though the movie had an interest approach but was over shadowed by its major flaws.

Yeah I was surprised NC didn't make any Burn Notice jokes.

@BigBlackHatMan WOW! you caught that too? Where was FI and Sam Axe?

ooooh! This movie Sucks! it just....sucks.....

NOT NUMBERED :) lol do his posts go up earlier than other members of the site?

wow what a poor poor moive

God this movie sucks

The "I swear to Christ!" by Miss Piggy had me cracking up so much, I couldn't talk afterwards for awhile. I also do love watching a drunken Critic clip. Thank you once again. *bows*

I've never seen the original Blair Witch Project. I might eventually, but...MAN! What a sequel! Condolences. Thanks for another great one! I can't wait to see how Nostalgia-ween will come to a close! We've gotten a Stephen King mini-series, a horrible remake, a sequel...what's left? I don't know, but *Film Brain voice* I'm so excited!

I don't think a movie's title has ever sounded so unappealing, at least with the bad movies you got something to laugh at, this is just concentrated pain, and very boring.

wow this movie is amazing! its better then: The Godfather, The Dark Knight and Citizen Kane mixed in one!

Or Yeah it fucking sucks Donkey Dicks on Bullshit Sunday!

Sorry, but are you seriously suggesting that The Dark Knight is on the same level of Citizen Kane and The Godfather? Maybe if you said Psycho or Dr. Strangelove or even Star Wars it would have made more sense.

Are you saying Star Wars is on that level?

That movie looks pretty bad...8P Good video, though.

Gotta love horrible knockoffs. About as much as watching a child getting ran over by a van.

1,000 thank you, Doug, for reviewing this piece of crap sequel. I love the first film (I have it on DVD), and I was hoping for someone on the site to review this one when I was first introduced to TGWTG.com.

1:55- That was my thought on Ninja Turtles 3.

4:01- I should also mention that I got a VHS copy of this film from my local video store before it closed its doors. I never gotten around to watching it, and after watching the beginning of this review, I’m thanking God I didn’t.

Thank goodness the Goth culture has gone (or is going) out of fashion.

7:46- If this were a Friday the 13th film, these @$$holes would be the opening kills.

12:01- It’s even stupider than the transitions from the Inspector Gadget movie.

13:35- In speaking of The Simpsons, there was that Frank Grimes episode where in the subplot, Bart also bought an abandoned factory for a buck.

14:50- These interrogation scenes are reminding me that I really need to be watching “Slumdog Millionaire” right now.

Nice impression of The Hoff.

19:11- This is something I expect to see in the Scary Movie movies.

21:11- I’m starting to see the inspiration for the characters in “Skyline.”

Dear lord, I heard this movie was bad, but I didn’t think it was …Garbage Pail Kids kind of bad. I also agree with what you said about Wes Craven, because I own the Scream Quadrilogy and New Nightmare, and enjoy watching them.

“I didn’t make this film. I swear to Christ.”

Me too! I liked the 1st movie but this sequal almost ruins the whole thing! And I want them to review the Mimic movie sequals someday too!

4:01-Actually I think that's how I got mine. I think this moie was released right around that time in the late 90s early 2000s when Mom and Pop Video Stores were closing up!
My VHS copy I think i wond up taping over it after watching it once because it was so bad the only use I had for it was bootlegging a better movie over it!

You know you're trading Goth culture for Emo!?

7:46-Very True!

13:35-I'd buy that for a DOLLAR!!!

Hey, don't lump Garbage Pail Kids in with this turd at least they're watchable while drunk and high! This movie would just kill your buzz and put you to sleep!

I think that's what the director said after seeing the reviews!

I'l take goth over emo anyday...but Im starting to miss the days when suburban teens tried to act gangsta...that was fun...they had weed...well most of them

I just find goth a bit weird, that's all.

Not weird just unique! Weird is when people don't fit into any group or don't act like the rest of the people in their group.

Goths are unique now? Jeez, they're just as conformist as those they rail against...just in a different way.

I believe the word you're looking for is "obnoxious"

Me too! goths had weed too! Emo's have weed but there's no telling what else is in it!

Why I like Goths to Emos!
A Goth will cut some one for you!
An Emo will just cut themselves!

Wow this movie is horrible. At least the room had entertainment to it. (Sry to bring it up again)

my problem with this movie is that it took away everything that made the first one scary

The Book of Shadows is a sort of journal to document rituals and spells, so I guess it was related to the movie in a very, very roundabout way.

But my god, this sucked. I haven't seen Blair Witch, and I still really find this sequel sucky.

Blair Witch is on my list of Halloween movies this month though.

I FINALLY watched the original Blair Witch a little while back. And like most of the population, I had mixed feelings about it.

It dragged ALOT, but I did appreciate the style and how it played off of what you didn't see. I find that style of horror much more effective. Hope you enjoy it!

Yay Bum cameos!
Is it me or does Goth!Critic look...oddly appealing?

it's not just you; Goth is cool looking, some people are just to immature and narrow minded to admit it.

Or instead of being immature and narrow minded they could simply not think it's cool because they don't share the same taste as you, there's that possibility.

yeah, okay, sorry. I was just angry. but your right, I shouldn't have typed that comment.

It's cool, just try to keep what I said in mind.

Angry about what?

in what way?

What the hell Jeffrey Donovan. I like you because of Burn Notice, but holy fuck you picked some bad roles before then.

you know what's even more annoying that this movie? immature morons that make fun of Goths just because they like to dress differently that what's considered "normal" (a.k.a. BORING)


Goths are not attention whores. they like a fashion style and wear it because they LIKE it. Doug is a hypocrite and I hate this review, even though I agree that the movie is shit. but then again, so is South Park.

Seemed more like he was taking a shot at how they're portrayed.

I certainly hope so. but then why did he call them attention whores? cause they're not...................... .well, not ALL of them...

The one in this movie was.

You know, the character he was actually talking about.

I like goth stuff too, but the stereotypical goth chick in this movie, while hot, was as annoying as the other characters. And, the jokes were pretty funny.

No need to get one's panties in a bunch.

this movie is shitty, so of course the goth character in this movie is dumb. I was mostly referring they ways Doug was making fun of her, which seemed like they could be aimed at the entire subculture.

Well I think the point has little to do with real goths, and more to do with the fact that there seem to be only two kinds of fictional goths:

1. Characters whose gothiness IS a projection of their desire for attention;
2. Characters whose creators use gothiness as a projection of their desire to have their characters paid attention to.

And as for THIS character? Who the fuck dresses like a halfassed Elvira: Queen of the Damned cosplay to go on a hiking tour through the woods? And okay, the choice of attire could be justified if applied to a well-written character in a movie that was any good, but... come on, this girl has purposefully positioned herself lying on a gravestone with a cigarette, POSING there for the others to find her, and pretty much the first thing she does is ask for some friggin Ritalin and agree to settle for weed and booze when no one has any. Ooooh, EDGY.

Back in high school, I knew compulsive liars who believed they were the actual offspring of Anne Rice characters who didn't try THAT damn hard.

as I said above, yes, I know the character in THIS movie is stupid, just as everything else in this movie is stupid. my only beef was how Doug was going about making fun of her, which again as I said, gave me the feeling that he was just making fun of goth people in general. which pissed me off.


and I've made up quite a few of my own fictional goth characters who are neither of the two you mentioned. my goth characters simply dress that way because they LIKE TO. the LIKE the WAY in LOOKS. you know, exactly like most REAL LIFE goth people.

Most that I knew were. One kept trying to be overly dramatic about it and faked hanging herself in the cafeteria when people started to just ignore her. And yes, it really was fake. She had the rope secured to a waste harness.

you go to a weirdass school, dude.

What kind of High School you went too? I could see fake stabing one's self but to set up a hanging...

Yeah, I think he is focusing more on the idea that some goths due it to be different and act like they hate attention yet dress i such a way to get attention

Methinks the Fangheart doth protest too much.

Methinks a subculture should not be made fun of to the extent that Doug makes fun of goths.



and yeah I know I'm being really anal about this, I just love the goth fashion and get very pissed when people group it together with all these stupid stereotypes of what South Park says they do. I see it no different than being racist. it's......subculture- ist.

Look man, it's alright if you feel the need to defend your interest and whatnot, but you can't take everything to heart like your doing. Most people on this site are nerds, including myself, and we get made fun of all the time, but we don't let it get to us. We just take comfort in the things we're interested in and in the fact that they're plenty more people like us.

And I don't think Doug was making fun of goths so much as he was making fun of the stereotype of goths.

I heard you man, black people had it bad when they were enslaved and killed because of their skin color, but Goths?? With people making fun of their clothes and their so called subculture? You guys are suffering almost as the black people when they were slaves... No. You guys are suffering waaaaay more.

You know, since making fun of goths is no different than racism...Idiot.

Well he's not off that much. I mean, I would never compare goths being made fun of to the oppression blacks and various other ethnic groups faced. But I guess it's like when a religious group gets persecuted, that's somewhat close to what he's saying.

Lets not mention religious groups being persecuted either, you know, for that thing that happened in Germany a long time ago when certain group of peole were persecuted...

Still, I found it really idiotic when Goth people, emos and all say that when people make fun of their clothes is as bad as saying the N word to a black guy.

Most goth people that I know either just wear black clothes and not make a big deal about it because at the end of the day is just clothing, music and in some cases talking about being a vampire like a moron.

Well there's also been some subcultures who've been persecuted, like hippies.

And aren't Jews technically a race and not just a religion. I always thought that the Nazis persecuted the Jews not so much as religion but as a race.

Ok, you might have a poin there. But still, goth people or metal people, punks ( the new ones at least) Emos, those people don't believe in anything by being goth or whatever, its just fashion and music. Compare that to religion and its a big difference

The difference between a subculture and a religion isn't all that big when you think about it, take nerds for example. Nerds argue all the time about stuff that really has no direct bearing on reality, so do religious people. Nerds are always interpreting their interest in different ways, so do religious people. I could probably go on with the similarities.

Even the Nazis could get around the fact that "jewish" only denotes belonging to a religious group.
All the time talking about race and inherent evil but in the Nurnbeg Laws, where they had to nail it down, it was defined as "belonging to the jewish faith" or having "grandparents of jewish faith".

Race, as defined in the "wonderful" forms you have to fill out in the US, does not exist and is scientific bullshit.
An aborigini from Australia and a Zulu from Africa?
Well, they are surely the same race and thus very closely realted because they both portrait epidermal melanine enrichment.
FACEPALM!

yeah, sorta. I was actually referring to when people usually apply stereotypes to people of different ethnicities just because of their ethnicity, not the fucking enslavement of black people. I'm talking about CURRENT racism, not the racism that happened over 200 years ago.

Still is a dumb to compare bein made fun of because of your clothes than being persecuted because of your color!

See, if somebody persecutes you because of your clothes or you can't get a job because of your clothes, you CAN take them off!! A black person could be persecuted for what they ARE not for what they wear.

Dude, seriously, get a sense of fucking humour. They are jokes...that's all. All stereotypes have a basis in truth, and a common truth is that a lot of goths have an AMAZINGLY well developed sense of self-superiority and looking down their nose at those they see as conformist, and are amazingly humourless with it.
They see every gag at their expense as a vicious personal attack - as in here where you compare it to racism of all things - and considering how they lecture others for being narrow-minded or stupid, are quick to be so themselves in the labelling of people for daring to crack a joke.
Check out Maddox's page (The Best Page in the Universe) and check out his run ins with goths, it's hilarious just how poorly they deal with minor insults and quips.

Nothing says "I'm not an attention whore" like "Doug is a hypocrite and I hate this review".

I have to say, if you're a goth, you're not helping their case.

I think you should be more offended by the so called "film-makers" for putting such an annoying stereotype goth character in their horrible movie, than at Doug for making fun of said character.

Besides, those jokes seem to apply more to the posers who try to be goth by telling everyone how goth they are instead of letting their natural fondness for dark humor, spooky atmosphere, and sexy black clothing speak for them.

I am not goth but I like the aesthetic and style of it. I think it looks cool.

I said Doug is a hypocrite because in many ways, he's an attention whore by actually doing these reviews every week. I know it's also his job and he gets paid, and I never said there's anything wrong with wanting attention, I'm just saying, he posts these videos every week just so people can hear his opinion on a movie. how is that not at least a little bit of an attention whore?

Because that is what a critic do? Because that's his job on LIFE? Not to mention that an attetion whore would be posting his videos in every site, blog, you tube video, facebook account that he can...Wich he is not doing.

So goth is all style and no substance yes? And you wonder why people crack wise?

A hypocrite? You acknowledged earlier that some goths do in fact do it purely for the attention, Doug was commenting on a goth character who we're introduced to by her LAYING ON A FUCKING GRAVE WHILE DRESSED LIKE MORTICIA ADDAMS!!, do you see the damn connection yet?

The assumption that YOU put on his words says more about your insecurity than it does about him.

Goths who continuously bring up that they're goths are attention whores. And don't immediately jump on the "you're too immature/mainstream/etc. to understand" bandwagon. I've known my fair share of goths growing up and only one of them wasn't a self-centered attention-starved jackass.

Aweosm review doug, they keep on getting better and better

do you guys wanna know something funny? I live in frederick maryland , burkittsville is in the county of frederick , and the locations were actually filmed in montgomery county maryland.

but it's just a fun fact that I actually live close to that location since I live in frederick maryland and burkittsville is in frederick county , maryland.

extremely nice job nostalgia critic. ^-^

So the character who sympathised with the first movie's evil entity... was killed by the others, who were [kinda/maybe/who knows?] possessed by it?

Makes sense?

this is one of the lamest movie EVER. nothing makes fucking sense...

it's just a popular title with fan service : naked hot chick and wanabee scary CGI. FUCK Blair Witch 2 !

Never heard or seen this movie, but I only heard of the first film.

I was going to ask why the Wicca Chick was evoking the spirit of the Goddess Persephone, because the powers of Persephone would not be pertinent to her in her fear of having blacked out and danced around naked... but then I watched the rest of the review and realized that such an intellectual query was not valid in the context of this movie.

P.S. I am not Wiccan, I am Atheist, I just find learning about religion fun! Exactly like reading a Harry Potter book.

Ok, so we get that the movie insults our intelligence, it's stupid and freaking annoying, but I am really pissed off about Erica. She is not Wiccan, she's Hollywood's idea of what a Wiccan would be if they wanted to insult and alienate a religion. It would be like a Christian who stabbed children in the spine with a crucifix because they forgot to say their prayers before bed.

Erica is an insult to my faith. I can forgive The Craft because it's a fun ride, but this? HELL FUCKING NO!!! First off, NO SELF RESPECTING WICCAN WOULD ACT LIKE ERICA DOES! Was the director actively trying to make her look bad because some Wiccans also claim to be Witches?

Fun fact, not all Witches are Wiccan and not all Wiccans are Witches. There are certain ideals, rules, morals, and practices that center around both beliefs and while some claim both titles, there are just as many who do not.

Also, she invokes Persephone, the GODDESS OF DEATH!!! You know, QUEEN OF THE UNDERWORLD!!! What's the point in that? And what's the point in trying to commune with the Blair Witch? I swear, they just put her in to make Goth chick look believable.

It's been a while since I saw this movie through, but I believe most of the symbols carved into the skin of the characters are Runes, which are not actually Wiccan symbols. I believe that Runes come from the Norse, though I only did a brief google search on the subject.

I remember first seeing this movie and HATING it. I can forgive a bad plot, or missing plot, if the characters are good. There were no good characters in this movie. There was nothing really good about this movie. I could forgive it if it had been done by, say, college students, but no. This movie was done professionally, it had a budget, it had actual potential. Granted it would have been a shit movie anyway, because according to Scream 2 'sequels are by definition are inferior films', but it could have been watchable.

Also, the whole 'Book of Shadows' thing is because a Book of Shadows is a Wiccans/Witches spell book. It could contain other things like information on plants, astrology, cooking instructions, it could be a diary, or just a book filled with pretty pictures. They plugged it in because it sounds cool and 'witchy'.

It's anti-Wiccan, anti-Witch, anti-Goth, anti-film dudes, anti-authors, anti-plot, anti-character...and anti-joy. I think it hates everything about itself, and I've ranted far too long about a movie that I shouldn't care about...

Ok so Persephone was not actually the Goddess of Death, but she rules the Underworld half the year with her husband, so whatever she was before, she's at least a part time ruler of the land of the dead. I say it counts.

And before marrying Hades she was the the Goddess of flowers or something like that, so she's still not the deity you would call on in a crisis where you fear for your life and/or sanity.

Thanks Bluegirl. I was going to say, she was actually the goddess of eternal life, before Hades kidnap-married her. xD Still doesn't explain how she would help Erica... at all. If they wanted to make any sense, she should have been evoking Mnemosyne! But... I just have to remind my self that this movie is generally dumb.

Thank you! I'm more into Egyptian and Celtic mythology, so I couldn't really remember what she was Goddess of, just who she was married to. I think we can all agree that this movie is a big steaming load of dumb.

I am pretty heavy into Greek and Roman mythos, mostly because I guess it's easier for me to understand, and easier for me to find information on the different lives and relationships of the Deities. I have been wanting to learn about Egyptian and Celtic mythology specifically, but I have been having trouble finding a good source for stories and references to all the different gods. On the internet, the same stories are told 100 different ways, so it's frustrating for me to get a grasp on what the f*** is going on. It could be in my head, but Greek Mythology seems to be a little more consistent. Help would be awesome, got references? :3

That's actually the thing, with Egyptian mythology especially I have found, that there are no really accurate texts out there. A specific story can have so many versions that it is almost impossible to sort through them all.

I have "Egyptian Mythology (Library of the World's Myths and Legends)" by Veronica Ions (Oct 1991), "Daily Life of the Egyptian Gods" by Dimitri Meeks, Christine Favard-Meeks and G. M. Goshgarian (Sep 1996), "Myths and Symbols in Pagan Europe: Early Scandinavian and Celtic Religions" by Hilda Roderick Ellis Davidson (Oct 1988), "Women in Celtic Myth: Tales of Extraordinary Women from the Ancient Celtic Tradition" by Moyra Caldecott (Mar 1, 1992), and "Celtic Myths and Legends" by Charles Squire (Mar 2000).

None of them are terribly new, but I like them all for what they are worth. Just remember that they are neither perfect nor 100% accurate. We are dealing with cultures that didn't really write down their myths, or if they did, they were translated and made popular by people who were far from their own culture.

I especially like "Women in Celtic Myth" because it actually focuses on women in a positive light in mythology instead of women as problems to be solved or prizes to be won.

I know some Wiccans, have been invited to take part in their rituals, and I was going to say.... invoking Persephone is about the only thing that girl does that strikes me as being an authentically Wiccan thing to do.

If I recall correctly, from the Wiccans I know who have explained this to me, they may choose a pantheon of religious mythology from which they draw various symbols and rites of importance as well as invoking figures from said pantheon, but ALSO they may have one specific god or goddess who is sort of their... I am not sure of the word for this... Well, they may "worship" many gods from one or many pantheons, but be a devotee of one specific chosen figure whose power they call upon regardless of their mythological role.

I do hope I've gotten that right because none of my Wiccan friends appear to be online right now to fact-check me, but I'm relatively certain that's about the gist of it.

Persephone kind of works as a goddess this character would choose to be a devotee of, since the character calls herself an "earth child" or whatever and Persephone was the daughter of the earth-fertility/harvest goddess Demeter. But if the fail!Wiccan character is not a devotee of Persephone, it does still make sense to call upon her in a situation where the characters are seemingly being taken into the arms of evil, just as Persephone was... although it would make MORE sense to call upon Demeter, who was the one who demonstrated strength in her efforts to retrieve her daughter from Hades. All Persephone really did was get kidnapped and fail at refusing to eat anything offered to her by her captor.


EDIT: I did get ahold of one of my Wiccan friends and she confirmed that it makes sense for this girl to ask for help from Persephone if Persephone is her patron goddess, regardless of whether she would otherwise be a good choice of deity to call upon in the given situation.

I don't have a problem with her Invoking a deity when she honestly felt that she needed one, that wasn't the problem.

The problem with Invoking Persephone as I said before, was that Persephone would not have any of the skills to help her when she was on film naked. Persephone would not be able to help her calm her mind or keep her safe from the magical attacks I'm sure they were trying to make us think she felt. When a person is assaulted in the mundane world (for lack of a better word at the moment) they call the police, file a report, avoid the person/place they were attacked, maybe buy some mace.

That is what the film was attempting to portray. A Wiccan desperate for some magical protection. The problem here is that instead of calling on a god or goddess who is either a warrior or a protector of some sort, she basically called a florist and asked them to protect her. A florist who is married to the local mortician.

Most Wiccans call themselves 'earth children' because they see the earth itself as a living, breathing, loving entity. I see where your idea comes from, and in any other film you might be able to make a case for it. It's really not a bad thought, but I don't think in this case it's correct.

We don't know enough about this character, or any of them for that matter, to make an accurate proclamation about her beliefs and devotions, but I can tell you that any Wiccan worth her salt would know that you don't call a florist when you need a cop. You don't call Persephone to banish evil, to protect you, or to fight. She's just not that kind of deity.

And if she really thought that Persephone would be a good choice because their stories seemed similar in her mind, she deserved to die for her stupidity. Persephone is often depicted as a young girl or a teenager from what I understand, and she's not someone who is called upon for protection or defense.

All in all, she was a poor choice.

Edit: We don't know who she worked with or anything of that nature. All we know is that she was trying to get the ghost of the Blair Witch to be her mentor. So if Persephone was her patron Goddess, yes I can see that invoking her would make sense. I can also tell you as a Wiccan, that I would be invoking another deity as well as my patron. A deity who would be the protector/fighter I would need in that situation. We also did not see much of the scenario, so we don't know what she did after she had her little freak out.

I think we will have to agree to disagree on this matter. Since we have a character with no background, no development, and really seems like a fluffy bunny trying to be cool, I am going to say that she was a poser desperately trying to use incantations that she didn't know anything about and therefore shouldn't be given the benefit of the doubt of Persephone being her patron Goddess.

I'm not saying your friend was wrong, I'm saying that the movie is too stupid to establish information that would confirm or deny the theory.

I think you (Bluegirl) and Gethenian both have valid points. Yes it is basically stupid to call upon P-Seph to help protect you, BUT I can see someone finding comfort in evoking a goddess they feel a kin-ship with. It would be like ME calling upon the Goddess Bastet for protection in a time of fear and confusion. Sure she's a goddess of the moon, and the one who carries the souls of the dead to the underworld to have their hearts weighed on the scale of truth by Anubis, (if I remember correctly.) She is still my main Goddess figure. (Even though I think it's all bunch of bull-hocky.) If I put it in perspective, I can see it. Either way... Shaq is holding a Panda...

P.S. Fun fact! I know that later on in Egyptian Mythos, her cat head is replaced with the head on a lioness and she becomes the goddess of the Sun, and she gives dominion over the moon to her son. Am I right, or am I wrong? Bastet is the one goddess I got the clearest information on, but she is also my favorite Goddess of all time... so I was kind of bias in my research. x) Yeah... I own three cats. And I talk to them. e__e Come at me, bro!

I am going to look up all those books, I'm going to need some new reading material soon. They might all be around a decade or two old... but it will be a good catch-up for the new information we have now. (I gotta start somewhere.) This is totally going to tickle my Scotch-Irish heritage. :DDD

Yep, that's pretty much my understanding of Bastet.

When did Shaq hold a panda?

http:// images.cheezburger.com/ completestore/2009/10/6/ 128993668464616824.jpg

(Excuse the spaces in the url, I can't get rid of them.) It was his last day on a vacation to China. I don't know when it was, I was to lazy to figure it out. But every time I find a disagreement that cannot be solved for what ever reason (more often because it's based in opinion), I think of Shaq holding a Panda. xD

Shaq's holding a panda! That's freaking amazing!

Gotta agree with you. I mean...Persephone is a bit random, but maybe that was her patron Goddess? I call on Brighid as a default if I feel upset, granted I don't invoke her for funzies but....yeah maybe I'm putting too much thought into this movie.

I think we can all agree we are putting too much thought into this movie, and the pointless offensive wiccan caricature.

-Googles Brighid...- Oh! Her soldiers are called Brigands? I've heard of Brigands before! Isn't that what they called the soldiers in the desert from the Thief in the Cobbler, the un-cobbled version? (Knowledge of this movie courtesy of Doug.) Hmmmm... It all comes full circle. Doug is the center of the universe.

"Gotta agree with you. I mean...Persephone is a bit random, but maybe that was her patron Goddess? I call on Brighid as a default if I feel upset, granted I don't invoke her for funzies but....yeah maybe I'm putting too much thought into this movie."

But putting too much thought into things is fun!

A tale grows in the telling, so all the different variations of a story are true in their own way. It's really up to you to decide how you want it to be. Feel free to explore all the different versions then tell your own story.

"I think we will have to agree to disagree on this matter. Since we have a character with no background, no development, and really seems like a fluffy bunny trying to be cool, I am going to say that she was a poser desperately trying to use incantations that she didn't know anything about and therefore shouldn't be given the benefit of the doubt of Persephone being her patron Goddess."


I can't agree to disagree with you because frankly, I DON'T disagree with you. :P All I was saying is that fail!Wiccan girl calling on Persephone was the most accurately Wiccan thing I saw her do in the clips of her included in this review. It's still a shitty movie and it's more than likely they got that bit right entirely by accident. XD


And backing up just a bit--

"The problem here is that instead of calling on a god or goddess who is either a warrior or a protector of some sort, she basically called a florist and asked them to protect her. A florist who is married to the local mortician."

That is so hilariously brilliant I may have to contrive some conversations elsewhere just to have an excuse to quote it. XD


"Most Wiccans call themselves 'earth children' because they see the earth itself as a living, breathing, loving entity."

Yeah, I know that, and my religion believes that, too. It's just the WAY she said that was so full of hippie-dippie star child yoga granola bullshit, it really comes off more as her reciting some asinine mantra she got from a fanfic called "Rainbow Brite Marries Captain Planet And Their Babies Are My Little Ponies And Care Bears" that she read when she was 9 years old and decided it ~changed her life~ so she joined the first religion she could find that happened to contain that same idea.

Basically, I completely agree that she's not a real Wiccan. She's a fangirl rebelling against her very probably Christian upbringing by learning a few rituals and flaunting it around to make herself look like a speshul snowflake who can simultaneously claim to have been a victim of religious bigotry AND have a credit card with a limit probably high enough to get her on the next plane to Milan any time she wants it, courtesy of daddy's credit rating.

Ok, well as long as we are all on the same page here! This movie bites. It blows. It sucks harder than a room full of actresses blowing a director for the lead role in a movie. It's painful, it's terrible, and it's insulting.

I'm glad you got joy out of my florist line, it pleases me greatly as well.

Also, if I came off antagonistic, that wasn't what I was trying to portray. I was in the middle of writing a very angry paper for class as I was watching the review/typing responses, and sometimes my bitch personality bleeds over when I don't pay attention.

In closing, and I will finally stop filling the forum. -deep breath- THIS MOVIE SUCKS! THIS MOVIE SUCKS! THIS MOVIE SUCKS! THIS MOVIE SUCKS! THIS MOVIE SUCKS! THIS MOVIE SUCKS! THIS MOVIE SUCKS! THIS MOVIE SUCKS! THIS MOVIE SUCKS! EVERYTHING ABOUT IT SUCKS!!! IT SUCKS WORSE THAN THE MOVIE "Suck". That's how bad this movie sucks.

Yeah, it would have made more sense to call on Artemis or something, rather than a goddess of... flowers.

And I totally agree with your summation. I have met a lot of poseur Wiccans, who make a point of whining about how much discrimination they've dealt with, how ancient their religion is (uh, no), and how spiritual and earthy they are. Usually it's just an attempt to PO their parents.

Wasn't Wicca made up by some guy in the 50's anyway?

She's just an excellant example of why you shouldn't write a character with a specific religion or belief system if you know nothing about the belief system in question. I'm not a wiccan, and I don't know that much about wicca, but even to me she comes across as much more of a pretentious wannabe than an actual wiccan.

If you want to punch whoever wrote her character, I won't stop you.


And to whoever was arguing with you, the film SUCKS. It's really not worth giving it the benefit of the doubt about anything, because by rationalising the mistakes in any way, you're putting a million times more effort into the film than the fucking creators did. It's just not worth it.

dam that first one scarred me

good thing this ones shit

You know what? This movie was SO bad, that is ruined Doug's review. That's how much I hate this movie. Doug's review of this movie was perfect (as always.) But the movie it's self seeped the foggy essence of shit so profoundly, that in order to enjoy Doug's perfect jokes, I had to detach them from the movie it's self, which was made easy by Doug continually switching to clips of shows and movies so far beyond the league of amusing in juxtaposition, that this movie can't see how far ahead everything else is in terms of entertainment quality with the Hubble Telescope.

This movie just had Sucky Sequelitis written all over it didn't it?

Yeah, i remember watching the first one with my buddies. in all 90 minutes for it, not one scream was made by anyone in the audience watching it. NONE. I give them kudos for the marketing of the first one, but I'm glad i skipped this piece of shit. They were planning to make a third one, but it was never made. Thank god.

Wow... This movie sucks worse than Ferngully! Great review and IDK how you do it but you outdo your "best freakout" on a weekly basis!