Critic, how do you just ignore shitting your pants?

Just wow that demon child was so cute. This movie was a huge rip off of haunted mansion

was not this movie is a masterpice and it still scared me it even made my dog srceam the remake it still coool

first

Nope. You're second. Got keep a script running on auto refresh if you wanna be first on a Nostalgia Critic video.

Still, being second is damn impressive.

I have to say, both the original and the remake inspired terror in me, but for very different reasons. For every great movie remade, I die a little inside.

Next week-review the great mouse detective

I won't lie...it was because of this(Catherine Zeta-Jones version) movie that I kept having these images of my bi-sexual roommate hitting on me back when I was at Trade School.


What....I was young, had a overactive imagination, and paranoid.....DON'T JUDGE ME!!!!!!!



*ahem* *shifty eyes*

Anyway, I always wanted to know, the whole thing about Eleanore being Caroline's Great-Great-Great grandmother. Was that originally in the black and white movie also?

"Anyway, I always wanted to know, the whole thing about Eleanore being Caroline's Great-Great-Great grandmother. Was that originally in the black and white movie also?"

No. All of that crap about the kid spooks and Eleanor being related was pulled out of Jan DeBont's ass. (The movie is based on Shirley Jackson's novel, THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE. Guess which one is the closer adaptation?)

really?

Why cant you just shut the f... up once? You post 1 word posts in EVERY damn video here and blistered thumps. 95% dont even relate to the video. YOU SUCK, face it.

@ Jacky: There's no need to be so rude about it. If the guy is bothering you with his posts in some way (which from your description seems like a pretty damn weak way), then there are a million and one ways to say so without looking like a dick.

As for the review...honestly, I've heard about both of these movies, but never seen or heard anything about them. Seeing this review actually makes me want to check the old version out, and I don't even LIKE scary movies. :P

This one looks awful, though. It looks like one of those movies that should be entertaining because of how unbelievably stupid they are, but somehow manages to be really bland as well. No wonder this video is longer than usual (which I don't have a problem with AT ALL, btw. :D )

I agree. If your going to comment make it a comment of with and relevance to the video and not an excretion of this maximum intelligence of yours onto the page.

what's wrong with the Great Mouse Detective?

to be completely honest it did.

I've never seen you get this crazy and angry at a movie in a long, long time. I think it was Good Burger where you got this crazed at a movie. Also, great to see Casper again, and somehow I expected Owen Wilson to show up in a review of yours sooner then this. Weird, still can't wait for the next bits of Nostalgiaween. Also will there be a Video game confessions on a horror character? If so could you make one about Pyramid Head? That would be awesome.

Amazing review doug, good job, but seems as long as your it video

That was one of the BEST freak outs I've seen from you in a long time! THANK YOOOOU! You get off on Catherine Zeta Jones...getting off on other chicks, and I get off on you being tortured by disgustingly horrible remakes. That's just the way it is.

I really want to see the original now, too! I'm adding it to my Halloween-themed movie month! Thanks a bunch for the recommendation as well as the bashing of this piece of shit. I was laughing so much during the whole thing! Nostalgiaween just keeps getting better and better!

(Owen Wilson still kicks ass, though...just not as much in this.)

Also: "I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and not even a bisexual Catherine Zeta Jones could save this movie!" DAMN! That's pretty scary. (No pun intended...okay, yes it was.)

so, which is it? Is Zeta Jones a lesbian or Bisexual? at first you say Bi, but then you keep calling her a lesbian, and then you go back to Bi. make up your mind, is she bi or gay in this?

Does it really matter? Yes, most people are well aware that using bi and lesbian interchangeably is perceived as insulting, much like using Chinese/Japanese/etc. interchangeably...but considering Jones's character wasn't even an honest attempt at writing a believable homosexual character, why take it to heart? Bi or lesbian, her only purpose in the movie was fanservice, plain and simple. Hell, she might as well have just been a pansexual nymphomaniac and her role would have been fulfilled all the same.

Man, I love Nostalgiaween. Can't wait for the next review!

Wow, really early release. Awesome.

I was actually hoping for the critic to say to the characters, "That's not Luke, it's Owen. Luke is his brother."

Speaking of making Jones a bisexual obvious, I really hate when a movie, show, etc. constantly is trying to tell the viewer the character is gay, it's annoying(Not that I against gay people). I'm like, "I get it, he/she is gay! MOVE ON ALREADY!!!" That's why my favorite gay character is Oscar from The Office(U.S.) because he hardly mentions it and he's not a stereotypical gay person.

As for the movie itself, I remembering watching this as a kid and found the ending stupid. Hell, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic did a better job on defeating the enemy with the power of love and friendship in the season openers of 1 and 2, and that show is meant for kids.

Yeah, the Power of Love should have, like, lasers and stuff. This wasn't even that. It was just... casually bringing up concepts that people find pleasant. That's a pretty bad weakness. I'm surprised that someone else hadn't killed the evil ghost by accident, just by, I dunno, mentioning the weather being nice while walking past the house.

Hey, at least in this movie the power of love was used against an evil spirit...you know, something that might be affected by such a thing. It's been used far, FAR worse elsewhere.

I know what you mean about the movie bashing people over the head but, you do understand that the real problem here is that the idiotic men on the movie wanted to make straight male viewers hot by flirting a woman-on-woman romance of any kind might happen. They were pandering and the character's bisexuality had nothing to do with her character- it was a tease.

Now, since you brought it up, um... what is a stereotypical gay person? You mentioned the gay character on The Office, said they didn't make a big deal out of it, and then you actually said he wasn't a stereotypical gay person- like you find them all over the place in real life.

But, what exactly is stereotypical for a gay person? The way they talk? Because, I was wondering: when was the last time you were honestly able to change the natural sound of your voice? Is it the way they... dress? Because, do you actually enjoy it when people criticize what you wear or does it annoy you instead? Is it the movies, music, shows they enjoy? Because, do you appreciate it when people call you stereotypical by what you like- or, do you instead want to tell them to go f*ck off?

Furthermore... when was the last time you heard someone say the phrase "stereotypical black person"? Or Latino, Asian, Indian? Or woman? Or, I dunno: fat person? Dwarf? Handicapped person? Etc... Why are people (usually straight) so hung up on what is stereotypical for gay people when they assume it's ugly and not really natural? Because, get ready for a shocker... yeah, a lot of gay men are genuinely effeminate. Does that make them phony? It's just the way they are. This is not saying anything about gay man who seem more masculine to (you). Can't people just accept people for who they are and not assume there are real-life stereotypes. It's not an intelligent observation to make about people anyway.

The stereotypical gay person is camp, constantly OTT and, generally, Jack in Will & Grace.
There are stereotypes for every race, creed, colour and nationality and it's something you can't get away from.
Scottish people are tartan wearing alcoholics, Canadians are slow and overly polite, the stereotypical black person is in pretty much any Michael Bay film - the original Transformers in particular runs the gamut....Bernie Mac actually says "Mammie" in that one!

He's in no way saying they're phony, he's saying the writers are lazy for falling back on that stereotype. In this case it's blatant fan service due to how often she feels the need to state just how she swings both ways and dress sexily. He's commenting on the over-emphasis of certain traits in Hollywood films to make stuff crystal clear to the audience, rather than just crafting genuine, real characters. He's not slamming or disparaging anyone and, frankly, I think you're looking for issues that simply aren't there.

w00t! Awesome video NC.

I wish someone would do Explorers. After I watched it as a kid, my brother and I tried to build a spaceship out of a trash can. We failed... Great review critic, as always.

0:43- Man, I love this opening.

I haven’t seen the original Haunting, but (I can’t believe I’m saying this) I’ve seen clips from this film on TV.

I think that Liam Neeson is an awesome actor. He was great as Qui-Gon Jinn, he was awesome as Ra’s al Ghul, and I don’t think I need to say anything about his roles in “Shindler’s List” and “Taken.”

Mr. Doodly the caretaker looks like Doc Brown to me.

6:12- …I know I’ve said this before, but I REALLY need a girlfriend.

8:09- My thoughts exactly.

10:53- If this was the porno spoof, I know where this scene leads to.

I love your Owen Wilson impression. Also, he’s as great at playing Captain Obvious as Colin Mochrie on Whose Line is it Anyway.

Boat loads of films in the 90s depended on poor CGI as a toy instead of a story telling tool. I’m sure 90s Kid gets wet dreams on this crap.

20:33- The even worse thing about that line is that it was dubbed.

23:53- BIGGEST. PLOT HOLE. EVER!

28:07- I don’t think I was the only one to think that NC needs to take a stronger dose on his crazy pills. …Man, that climax was too Care Bears inspired.

I really need to find and watch the original film.

0:43-Agreed!

Liam Neeson is a great actor, but he did take some less than great roles in the 90s!

10:53-You don't want to know where it'd gone at 23:01 then!

28:07-Well,it did make good use of "The Gates of Hell" http://en.wikipedia.org/ wiki/Door_of_Hell

I was never sure whether Neeson was crap as Qui-Gon Jinn...or if Qui-Gon Jinn was just a crap character.

Probably a bit of both.

I like Neeson but he's very much like Cage in that he ends up getting lazy roles where he doesn't actually try, but the times he gets something to really sink his teeth into, he excels.

I just watched the original Haunting last night on TCM to end off Halloween, and I agree that the classic film IS scary, and the ending left me with a pounding heart and heavy breathing. And after seeing the review of the remake, I can safely say that it is about as bad as the Planet of the Apes remake.

yea Liam Neeson is an awesome actor for example watch Taken :)

I get it. This was an early attempt by Ra's al Ghoul to study the effects of the blue poppies. Johnathan Crane isn't far behind. Makes perfect sense, now.

Hahahaha that movie looks hilarious! Oh wait it was supposed to be scary.
Good video, NC!

...But I really love the movie anyway...

The freakout at the end in my opinion was the most funniest EVA! I almost fell out of my chair. Great Review!

when you started going all psychotic I thought you were gonna have some kind of "turning into douchey" story.

I thought you would be flashing between douchey and the nostalgia critic whenever the camera was on you, while I know it would be hard to make the dialogue flow with the cutting it would have been kinda cool. You could have also just done it where douchey was over-laid on the picture just sorta being there showing off his inspiration to that kind of behavior.

oh well, still a great review to an awful AWFUL movie.

To me it seemed more like he got possessed by John from theroommovie.com.

Thanks for another great review Doug :)

This review was amazing!

*Even though zipperintheback has been Taken by the Entity, he still felt the shockwave of that rage-rant.*

Great Review Doug, holy shit that monologue was the craziest i've ever seen you, it literally sent chills down my spine, god knows what your gonna top it with next week, keep em coming.

what is the intro song?

the x files theme

And now, I feel old...

ha! amazing review!! I also must say that I LOVE the Nostalgia-Ween video intro... the falling down the stairs bit is most hilarious in my opinion! Keep up the great work

Man you went ape shit crazy, good job.

you know something , and yeah it's a bit off topic I'm sure , but I think the next stephen king movie that the nostalgia critic should do a review on is The Lawnmower Man.

I personally think that would be a good diea for the next stephen king movie to either praise or rip to shreds.

cant wait to see what will be next in nostalgia-ween. I am still waiting to see "IF" he will do a top 11 list again. I would love to see a top 11 list for this month based on either the most scariest films list , the most creepiest films list , or the best alien films list.

keep up the good work mr walker.
I always look forward to see more reviews.

Jason Schwab aka LordJason.

PS - if anyone wants to see something scary and in tone with this month , especially this week , check out my brand new music video of a tribute to the 1982 and 2011 movies of The Thing. by far the most creepiest music video I have ever made. check it out here: http:// thatguywiththeglasses.com /community/myvideos/ 92594-epicjason1999/ video/7076- LordJason+Presents+The+Th ing+% 28Cult+Classic+Tribute% 29

"Somebody in this camp ain't what he appears to be. Right now that may be one or two of us. By spring, it could be all of us."

But, you know that the Lawnmower man doesn't have ANYTHING to do with the Stephen King story (but, you're right, that film's review could be amazingly funny :) )

your also right. the film has very little to do with the actual story , and I thank you for saying I was right about the film being a potential funny review.

especially the sequel. that deserves to be poked at as well. it even has the triforce of tron , the failed first matrix world , the retarded human son from batlefield earth , the lame 1 minute akira bike chase , young welshy , and even rob and doug's father.

no I'm not kidding. the character's name in the sequel is Johnathan Walker. I can easily use that for a big piece of juicy bait to poke fun at doug and rob. XD

doug and rob's father is out for revenge! hide your kids , lock your doors , and make sure that no pigs are being slaughtered! XD

it would be harmless fun , but the last name similartiy to use as a joke is just way too tempting. ^-^

but either way , thank you very much for your reply. ^-^

yay me

terrible movie, excellent review! you at least had a bisexual Ms Zeta-Jones to help you through, imagine the pain for those of us who hold no such interests. There are so few good ghost movies, why did they have to ruin this one?

That's VERY true.

The original The Haunting film is porbably one of my favorite films of all time. This remake is crap and shouldn't be watched. But I'm glad NC is reviewing it.

it not your wronge

Wow, this remake could actually rival with the Wicker Man remake for worst remake- and I hated Wicker Man before I knew that it was a remake.

I dimly remember being paralyzed with fear from watching The Haunting a few years back. I need to watch it again.

And as far as defeating a ghost with love- that was done well in a few Betty Ren Wright books. So yeah, a set of children's books does a better job with a plot point than a movie made for adults. This movie was just a "masterpiece", wasn't it?

By the way, as far as LGBT portrayal in the '90s goes, RENT has some good ones.

Haha, no. The Wicker Man is sooooo much worse.

The wicker man is so much funnier. ... to the point I wonder if it was intentional.

Hey! The wicker man remake is a masterpiece! Of comedy.

Bees!

"How'd it get BURRRNED?!"