Top 11 Dumbasses in Distress

(529 votes, average 4.87 out of 5)

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Comments (770)
  • Joker Jr.
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    Except that Peach did help out a little bit in Mario RPG though!1!!!1

    I know because I played that game and I know for a fact that she does help!!!

    I watched this on Blip.tv first and stayed up ALL night so I could point out all of his flaws and aPOLalerpPpAS

    And stay off my keyboard Douchey!!!

    # 1 is well deserved, seriously...not to spoil anything, but Doug explains it perfectly. For the most part, all of the characters are still enjoyable to watch...except the obvious three characters.
  • Moreno X
    I agree with you Joker Jr., I too can enjoy all the characters that are enjoyable (including the two, believe it or not). Bella, even I have no knowledge about her story from the books and movies, listening to Doug's explanation had me convinced that it's best to not want to know her story from the Twilight stories, and I'M PROUD of that.
  • Anne Boleyn the Jokeress
    Trust me, you're blessed that you don't know the Twilight story. :P
    Spare your sanity. Don't learn it.
  • doctortanksano  - what sanity
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    im somewhat crazy and even i think Twilight is stupid and those vampires are a buncha pussies.....expect one....Karin and ill lave u with that name only
  • SRanger1071  - Listen to this person!
    I read the books because my sister and some friends at school kept going on about how great the stories were and I wanted to have some kind of clue as to what they were talking about. It took me a YEAR to finish the third one, mostly because I got bored with the story, the 500-page buildup that could've been said in 10 pages and saved everyone time and money, and the one-dimensional characters. These are the worst books I've ever read, and my family's a bunch of bookworms! But it's comforting to know that even Robert Pattinson (the guy playing Edward) thinks the movies and books are crap; he's just in it because his agent signed the contract and he likes getting paid.
  • Tolkienite14  - yep
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    Truuuuuue dat! I think the biggest flaw in the Twilight saga is the fact that the VAMPIRES FRIGGIN' SPARKLE!
    And when Edward said, 'This is the skin of a killer' or whatever, I just wanted to scream, "NO! It's the skin of a friggin' disco ball!!!"
  • NaomiHansen
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    I envy you (and anyone else) for not knowing the bimbo known as Bella Swan. :(
  • rowdycmoore
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    There was also the DS game Super Princess Peach where the roles were reversed. Still, I give Doug props for pointing out that SMB2 was a dream; I never took that into account before when weighing how useful her character is.
    I got sick to my stomach when number one came up. Of course, who else could it be?
  • SlyDante
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    Not to mention that SMB2 was never even really a Mario game in the first place. The only reason they gave her something to do there is because Nintendo just thought a familiar face would sell better.
  • Archane  - He did
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    Except Doug did point out the Super Princess Peach games. Where her special attack is crying!

    I think the real reason Peach gets number 2 is just lack of character. Like he said with April O Neil it makes sense why she gets kidnapped and she serves a purpose.

    Since Mario equates to go save princess from evil monsters there's no real story there other then she gets kidnapped go save her so you can't really feel for her.
  • mrrubino
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    Her special attack is super mood swings and being super bipolar. That's not hilariously misogynist at all! Oh that Peach and her super ovaries.
  • Epic Nerd
    he actually did mention the Super Princess Peach game when he asked what her attack was "crying?" just an fyi not trying to be a douche. and yeah i agree rowdycmoore, bella sucks balls.
  • Frakes
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    He showed that game. It was the one where one of her powers is the ability to cry.
  • SlyDante
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    Peach does contribute a lot more in at least most of the Mario RPGs, even becoming a playable supporitng character...Except that in all of those games, she STILL ends up getting kidnapped! She just cannot catch a break. =P
  • brick mooncode
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    Maybe that's less about being helpless, and more about being a desired kidnapping target.
  • RedFox0008
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    Peach in SMRPG was pretty good, but, as Doug points out from her appearance in Super Smash Brothers, her most powerful weapon is.... a frying pan.
  • sprezzatura
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    Hey, don't knock the frying pan... remember Tangled?
  • sereia
    A golf club actually :P
  • Sheranda
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    And a parasol... and TOAD!
  • Ap0ca1ypse  - Frying pan FTW
    Do not diss the frying pan! You wan't example of awesome frying pan action!

    Left 4 Dead 2, because no frying pan is complete without a little spatter of zombie brains!
  • Rebelion777
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    i can't believe you guys are talking about frying pans as weapons in video games and forgot about the ultimate frying pan usage. Conker's Bad Fur Day, and also the remake Conker Live and Reloaded.
  • Katze  - So True
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    Peach has been nothing but an "add in" character and the only time she did kick butt was in SMRPG:Legend of the 7 Stars. ... That frying pan was equivalent to like the baseball bat in Smash Bros. ... and yeah... it was also a golf club and a parasol and even Toad in some of them. >.
  • Falcovsleon20
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    Oh not just Super Mario RPG, Peach has also been playable in the Paper Mario games. In the first two she was indirectly helping Mario WHILE being kidnapped and in Super Paper Mario, was actually playable. (Hell they even poke fun at the fact she constantly gets kidnapped in that game)

    And to answer Doug's question as to why Peach isn't really bothered by it, well it because Bowser only plays the dictator role in the mainstream Mario titles. Any other time, he just wants some love. (Although for some reason, he's below rape) BTW, the Frying Pan is also her strongest weapon in Mario RPG and her other weapons include gloves for slapping enemies, a parasol and a fan. So yeah, she is kind of a stereotype.
  • Slimnoid
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    With the Paper Mario games though (and Mario RPG, to a lesser extent) they at least seemed to be poking some fun at it. Keeping it tongue-in-cheek, in a way; "yeah she's a princess with a frying pan, just roll with it."
  • MissBlack
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    I was going to point out exactly that. Paper Mario was the first game I could actually enjoy Peach. She was manipulating the enemy from inside!! That's cool!
    However, although she is given more important roles in the following Paper Mario games, her personality is always fricking annoying. Even when she's fighting alongside the hero she behaves like a whiny little barbie girl! I wish Mario could stay with the cool lady from Mario Galaxy.

    By the way, ROBOT PENNY FTW!!!! That's a higher level of awesomeness!
  • Sheranda  - Penny = Jenny
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    If Penny had all the powers of Professor Gadget, she would be a lot like Jenny from My Life as a Teenage Robot, and she was pretty cool. The whole TV show was cool!
  • ladydiskette
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    What really pissed me off about Bella, was in New Moon, when the vampires that wanted to kill her battled with the werewolves from Jacob's pack. And she agrees to go up to the freaking mountains to stay safe. Yeah, I know she doesn't have any powers to defend herself but there were vampires and werewolves fighting over her and ending up dead she could have said, "No, they are the reason why I am here, and I am not going to run and let others die because of me!". Instead, she does the opposite,in place of choosing to stay and try to help out those fighting for her side and show some resourcefullness and integrity, she goes and lets someone else do the dirty work!

    That just sickened me more so than anyone else in real life or in fiction that has done the same thing!


    And the least she could have done is try to stop the fight in the first place! Or when she got back give maybe some form of medical assistance to the injured. But no they had to have her up in that stupid mountain to pull out some "love triangle" excuse. Grrrr!
  • NCfanboy1
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    Don't forget Super Paper Mario.
  • theliquidsnake14
    Joker Jr. does have a point she does help in that game but you have to save her first....twice. The frying pan from smash brothers is her weapon in Super mario RPG.
  • j03b0b0fd00m
    Not to mention, in the Paper Mario games she does a lot to help Mario behind the scenes.
  • CageAquarium  - Peach Owned in Mario RPG
    Not sure how but by the end of the game she was the MVP of the group. Even against odds where everyone else would die, Peach would live.
  • RinstarElite
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    She does indeed, but that begs the question, why the hell can't she defend herself from Bowser more often? In Super Princess Peach she even saved Mario, so she shouldn't be dumb enough that she gets captured at least once every game.
  • Snowflame  - PEACH IS A BEAST
    Put a Defensive Lazy Shell on Peach?

    Live forever.
  • Heidegger  - Peach?
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    In SMRPG for SNES the princess was called Toadstool. Was that a completely different character or did they just change her name later?
  • arsenal of megadeath  - reply
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    Additionally- Lois Lane didn't put up with Lex's Sh**. from the first superman, back in what- 193...lost on me right now- Lois didn't like pansies or put up with any BS, but with the crackdown of the Comic-book Code Authority,yeah burn in hell Fredrick Wortham, Lois was toned down... ALOT, like everything else. but in the late 1980s and early 1990s, she started to kick ass again!
  • doctortanksano  - im more evil
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    here's my demented, psychotic,and manipulative plan to get rid of bella
    step 1: use nazi teleporter to find her dimension
    step 2: use Scorpion's form that i got from consuming him to save her
    Step 3: get her to fall in love with me
    Step 4: FINISH HER!!!!
    (use "Split Decision)
    Hunter wins
    Flawless Victory
    FATALITY
  • Rabnix  - Much agreed, Joker Jr.
    If any Nintendo princess should be on that list it's Zelda. They may technically all be "different" but they're all fucking morons. OoT Zelda reveals herself after 7 years of successful hiding like an idiot and gets herself captured, by Ganondorf. SS Zelda gets captured and used to release the Demon King Demise. MC Zelda gets turned to stone almost immediately. WW Zelda shoots you in the face with Light arrows repeatedly, etc...
  • SpeedyEric
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    Wow, Doug. You REALLY like talking about dumb nostalgic moments, don’t you? Also, you’ve talked about Dumbass in Distress Disorder in your “Kid in King Arthur’s Court” review.

    11. Well, you gonna love MJ’s personality.

    10. I agree that Kayley can be such a bitch.

    9. Yes, I agree that Willie whines all the time, but I like Short Round. Besides, my dad likes him.

    8. I wonder how future Batman films will portray Robin. Also, I still love your impression of him in “Batman & Robin.”

    7. RoboCop can kick Gadget’s @$$ a thousand times over.

    6. I like the modern day Lois better than the earlier one. Besides the films and the animated series, she’s also tough in “Smallville.”

    5. I also like Jubilee when she first became and X-Man in the animated series.

    4. Who doesn’t hate Scrappy? Answer: The Irate Gamer (because he loves pointless characters)

    3. I don’t mean to troll here, but I’ve already heard enough on the beating of Jar Jar Binks. A lot of people don’t like him because he acts weird. Well, I say if you mess with one gungan, you mess with all of them. Besides, I can relate to him. We’re both outcasts, we’re both clumsy, but we’re also smart despite what other people think. So, please Channel Awesome, stop bashing Jar Jar just for being a different character in one of the most successful franchises of all time; it’s getting old. And still, Doug, please don’t make any Star Wars lists or an Episode I review.

    2. Princess Peach IS a bitch, and this is coming from someone who has little to no knowledge on the Mario mythology.

    1. I haven’t seen any of the Twilight films (thank Christ), but I agree with what everyone else has said about both the books and the movies; the vampires are not vampires, it has one of the most screwy love triangles in any medium, and the lead character is the stupidest tragic character of all tragic characters. Everything about this franchise shows why I’m a Harry Potter fan.
  • QuestionTheMajority
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    Ugh. Don't compare the Harry Potter series to Twilight. They're two book series about teenagers and the supernatural. That's it. There's no connection otherwise. The sheer connection alone only serves to elevate Twilight to a status it doesn't deserve.

    But I digress.

    I disagree with a lot of the choices on this list as I think most of the characters really are lovable in their own way. Princess Peach, for example, is played up in a very comical way. She's more a parody than anything and in the bizarre cartoon world of the Mushroom Kingdom, the stuff she does makes sense. Sort of. However, I do agree with three very important choices for this list:

    Willie, Scrappy, and Bella. Good Christ, I hate all three of those characters. Not much more can be said about it except that throughout all of "Temple of Doom," I kept screaming at Willie to drop dead and leave Indy the fuck alone so we could all enjoy the movie without her.
  • mrskippy
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    As was Robin in the more recent comics. Pretty much from the late '80s on, Robin has been a badass in the comics. On the other hand, I'm a huge fan of Robin, so maybe I'm letting that cloud my objectivity, but...yeah, Robin doesn't really fit anymore.
  • SpeedyEric
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    QuestionTheMajority,
    I'm not comparing Harry Potter to Twilight; I'm saying that I love one book series and hate the other.

    Virgil_theBadassPoet and mrskippy,
    Robin HAS become badass latley. But in the late 80s, Jason Todd was Robin, and he was too badass that it got him killed by The Joker.
  • Fangheart
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    I know, right? I was waiting for him to praise the good incarnations of Robin, namely the one from Teen Titans. he was so awesome in that show, the cool leader who always came up with the clever solution. He kicked ass in that.


    oh, and by the way Critic, what was with that sign off? Pray for those boys? are you high? or, was that supposed to be a joke? if that was supposed to be a joke it was a pretty stupid one. Ed and Jake are not the victims of that story, there are no victims in that load of shit. Bella is a dumbass, yes, but so is everyone else! that entire series is made up of nothing but fucktarded morons! maybe in the movies it was different, but in the books, Bella never. shut. the fuck. up. about how much she loathed herself and everyone else was a saint compared to her! and about that marriage thing, again, maybe it was different in the movies, but in the books it was Edward who kept pressuring marriage. Bella just wanted to have sex with him, but he said no, the have to get married first...........I'm just going to let that sink in because that fact pretty much speaks for itself. I could go into a long winded rant about this but it's all old news so I won't. but seriously, needless to say, Bella is in fact a dumbass, yes, but saying that is kinda redundant seeing how EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER IN THE SHITTY STORY IS AN IDIOTIC RETARDED MORON!!!!!!!

    .....so, no, I'm not going to 'pray for those boys' because they are just as much dumbasses as she is.
  • brittany  - not disagreeing with you
    not disagreeing with you the whole thing is retarded but bella does show some sense in both the books and movies because she tells edward she doesnt want to get married. mostly beacause of what people will think and because she fears divorce since her parents marriage did work out. edward is the dumbass that is pushing her to marry him and wont change her into their version of a vampire until she does. and up until she agreed to marry him i thought just maybe she had some brains. but nope she took the damn wedding ring. stupid twilight
  • Fangheart
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    ......hahaha, I like how you said "their version of a vampire", hahahaha
  • Alial93
    FINALLY someone who acknowledges that Robin
  • smurfykat  - Yes... this.
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    "Teen Titans" Robin was awesome.

    Old school Robin from the '70s Adam West show was goofy, but he was cute and lovable... and while he got kidnapped some, I remember him doing his fair share of ass-kicking.
  • Sheranda
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    I agree, Virgil. I can't believe the Critic forgot about that! In that show, Robin was cool in every way. Even his costume looked good on him!

    What angers me is that he's back to his annoying ways in Young Justice. Must he spend every episode analyzing a word?
    "Is 'aster' the opposite of 'disaster'?" "If 'underwhelmed' is the opposite of 'overwhelmed,' what does 'whelmed' mean? Can't someone just be whelmed?" "I am so not whelmed." SHUT UP, ROBIN!!!
  • Fangheart
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    I don't like young Justice either. Everyone's so grumpy and angsty all the time, it's stupid. I heard that that shoe is actually trying to target the 'twitard' demographic, which is probably the stupidest idea any studio has ever had in the history of ever..........also, in Young Justice, Robin is voiced by Jesse McCartney. 'nuff said.
  • Blues  - Lies
    except only one character is grumpy. every other character is lightehearted except in special circumstances. Aqualad was down for one episode, otherwise he's cool. Robin was almost down in that same episode but he was also cool by the end of it. Yeah there's going to be stuff that they are hinting at but that's standard.
  • Fangheart
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    every episode I have seen has Aqualad as this no-nonsense, serious-faced, rule-abiding stick in the mud who hates fun. I see that as grumpy. granted, I haven't seen many episodes, but still....

    the only character I saw as having a lighthearted fun attitude was Kid Flash. I liked him, and then I saw an episode that revealed that he hates magic. I love magic, and so the only character on that show that I liked no longer has any appeal for me, and so I gave up on that show.
  • Sheranda  - Jesse McCartney + Twilight = uncomprehensible anno
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    You're right, Fangheart! It is Jesse McCartney! Was Dante Basco's voice not annoying enough?! I am so mad at Young Justice right now! Why do the characters complain so much about being sidekicks? Is being taken under the wing of a superhero not good enough for them?!

    And why would DC make this show for Twilight fans? Punishment?! Is DC trying to show how ridiculous it is to strive for more in life when you already have more than most people can only dream of having?! How many of you as children AND teenagers dreamed of becoming sidekicks to the greatest superheroes of all time?! I thought so.
  • Karri
    I wouldn't want to be a sidekick all my life. Either way, I would be crushed if my BFF hero had lied to me like that.

    In Young Justice, most of the characters HAVE put in their hours as sidekicks. They have fought for years at the side of the heroes, and are then told they're good enough to become heroes in their own right.
    They then find out that they're actually being inducted into a fake order, which exists only as a front for one they didn't even know existed.

    It would probably suck to have put your life on the line on a daily basis, then find out you aren't considered trustworthy.

    That was the case for most of the Young Justice team, except for Superboy (that would like to be a sidekick, but Superman doesn't like the idea) and Martian Girl (since her uncle has more of a desk job).
  • Karri
    The word analyzing thing is annoying, yes. I got the same vibe from Starfire in Teen Titans, though. Those made up alien words. "I have never seen anyone gromulp a smirtle that way! That's knyltiffic!" Shut up, Starfire. Just... shut up.
  • Rabnix  - For the record:
    Dick was right. You CAN just be whelmed. I was disappointed that YJ (As well as Batman TAS) Skipped over Jason Todd. Again. Yeah, he was a shit Robin, but once upon a time, the Red Hood was a really good villain.
  • Asheaka
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    As was Teen Titans in general.
  • SlyDante
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    At least you could make the argument that Willie - while unbearably annoying - was brought along mainly by accident. Indy looked at Short Round & apparently thought "Why, this 11-year old kid will be a perfect companion for dealing with those gun-toting gangsters!"

    And yeah, most of the characters on this list are still likeable, but they do get annoying at times. besides, it's just all in good fun.
  • brick mooncode
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    If you're talking about the main Mario series only, not the side series like Paper and Smash Bros and Kart and RPG and so on, Peach wasn't treated as a parody until Super Mario Bros Wii. It's a parody retcon, basically, just like Mega Man 9.
  • dungeonmaster11
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    I agree with ya for the most part about most of the characters in this list being lovable in their own way, Matt, but as utterly bizarre as it sounds, I'm actually pretty tolerant of Scrappy and Willie too. Now, there's no denying that Willie is the least cool Indiana Jones leading lady, but I never found her so despicable that I wanted her to drop dead--she was annoying, sure, but there was something amusing about seeing her freak out, though again, I can easily see it getting on someone's nerves. And as for Scrappy, he reminds me very much of an overly-playful puppy and/or one of those types of lapdogs that try to intimidate things that they have no business intimidating, which I think was kind of the point. Once more, I can understand one being annoyed by him, but I personally don't think that he deserves the amount of vitriol that that he's received over the years. But Bella? Hooooo boy. I actually like Kristen Stewart, but holy mother of God, Bella is easily one of, if not THE worst canon Mary-Sue in mainstream fiction.
  • Sheranda
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    I liked Scrappy in the first live-action Scooby-Doo movie, but only because of the way he was portrayed. Overall, I just can't stand him. Looking back, he kind of reminds me of Miko in the latest Transformers series.
  • LeGrotesque
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    The only reason HP and Twatlight are mentioned in the same sentence is because they battle for the same audience at the box office. Unfortunately, superiour writing and acting won't necessarily win every time.
  • Mr.Anderssson
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    You relate to Jar-Jar?

    God help you....

    I'd like to point out that Jar-Jar is in no way intelligent, and his status as outcast is well-deserved. You remember why he was banished? Because he nearly flooded the whole city! He's so dumb and annoying he's a danger to himself and others, and the fact that he helped the emperor gain ultimate power proves it. Doesn't matter that the Emperor planned it that way, he was just the weak puppet he needed.
  • SpeedyEric
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    If it wasn't for Jar Jar, Naboo wouldn't have been freed from the Trade Federation, and Palpatine wouldn't have been given emergency powers.
  • August M.
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    Count me in for Jar Jar. He's just as annoying as C-3PO but I don't hate the character(The one I hate is Zero the Hut). Also, screw Robin, I want Batgirl in future Batman movies. Batgirl>Robin any day.
  • SpeedyEric
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    People, can we all just agree to disagree. It has been 12 years, and it's already started getting old.
  • August M.
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    Look, I don't hate Jar Jar as many do, but he is annoying at times.
  • SpeedyEric
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    I agree that he's annoying at times, but I give him credit that he's smarter than he looks.
  • Rockabore
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    I agree, Batgirl proves to be a more easy-going partner from the comics and animated series. Dick was prone to bickering and arguing with Batman where as Babs seems to have more respect and co-operation that worked more dynamically in my eyes than the Dynamic Duo. Plus in TNBA Babs had great witty banter with Bruce.
  • Lord of Lochaber
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    It's Robo Cop. He has a shot at taking out Chuck Norris. Of course he can pwn Gadget. Which means that Dr. Claw must be one of the least effective villains ever.
  • sprezzatura
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    I kind of agree with you about Jar Jar... sure he's annoying, but he has a realistic habit of having terrible reflexes and making stupid mistakes that makes him kind of relatable.
  • SpeedyEric
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    Thanks for backing me up, sprezzatura. It's much appriciated. =)

    May the Force be with you.
  • ladydiskette
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    I remember when I first saw Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. lmao the part where she is being lowered as a human sacrifice I was more worried about the flowers on her sacrifical dress than for her own well-being.

    Now that I look back on it I don't feel half as guilty thinking that. Willie could never hold a candle to Marion.
  • Hyatt
    If you like Jar Jar and his weirdness, check out the webcomic Darths and Droids. He (or rather his player, a preteen girl named Sally) is the most all-around awesome character. Better at world-building than the GM, better at following and figuring out the plot than the seasoned players (well, that's not so surprising), all thanks to that strange way a little girl's mind can work. Plus, she came up with Gungans eating humans. Who can't love that?
  • arsenal of megadeath
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    11. Well, you gonna love MJ’s personality.

    -personality? i was too busy looking at her ...anyway..

    10. I agree that Kayley can be such a bitch.

    -yep...

    9. Yes, I agree that Willie whines all the time, but I like Short Round. Besides, my dad likes him.

    -WE NEED AN ADULT! WE NEED AND ADULT, DR. JONES!

    8. I wonder how future Batman films will portray Robin. Also, I still love your impression of him in “Batman & Robin.”

    - They aren't going to portray Robin.

    7. RoboCop can kick Gadget’s @$$ a thousand times over.

    - OF COURSE!

    6. I like the modern day Lois better than the earlier one. Besides the films and the animated series, she’s also tough in “Smallville.”

    -Real Superman Fans disavow any and all knowledge of Smallville. But then again, I'm a Batman Fan and we disavow any and all knowledge of Bird Of Prey... but yeah, I'll give you that point on Lois being more a bad ass.

    5. I also like Jubilee when she first became and X-Man in the animated series.

    -she was better in the actual comic book.

    4. Who doesn’t hate Scrappy? Answer: The Irate Gamer (because he loves pointless characters)

    -GTFO. lol! that kills me!

    3. I don’t mean to troll here, but I’ve already heard enough on the beating of Jar Jar Binks. A lot of people don’t like him because he acts weird. Well, I say if you mess with one gungan, you mess with all of them. Besides, I can relate to him. We’re both outcasts, we’re both clumsy, but we’re also smart despite what other people think. So, please Channel Awesome, stop bashing Jar Jar just for being a different character in one of the most successful franchises of all time; it’s getting old. And still, Doug, please don’t make any Star Wars lists or an Episode I review.

    - you're trolling.... and you can never beat up on Jar-Jar too much.

    2. Princess Peach IS a bitch, and this is coming from someone who has little to no knowledge on the Mario mythology.

    -don't speak. GO and play the games, then come back and speak.

    1." I haven’t seen any of the Twilight films (thank Christ), but I agree with what everyone else has said about both the books and the movies; the vampires are not vampires, it has one of the most screwy love triangles in any medium, and the lead character is the stupidest tragic character of all tragic characters. Everything about this franchise shows why I’m a Harry Potter fan"

    -Just as bad.
  • TheWebHeadSpiderMan  - -Facepalm-
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    That was stupid of you to say. "You like to talk about stupid nostalgic momments, don't you?" Well duh. He's doing it because he knows people find it funny and he tells people what he thinks and if he sees something that no one should ever see he tells people that. And don't say he doesn't have a life and should do something else other than this. Because he does have a life and he does other things. Oh and; you say that you don't wanna sound like a troll at "3". But you wanna know what the problem is? You already sound like a troll. And don't connect Twilight to Harry Potter. And he gets to talk about Jar Jar if he wants. And people DO NOT hate Jar Jar because he's weird. We hate him because: He doesn't shut up, he never helps anyone, (Except that once!) he puts others in danger, he whines, and it's his fault that the war started. -Sighs- Oh and don't bother telling me to calm down.
  • illpropaganda
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    Excellent! On point and always funny as hell!
  • KingGramJohnson  - I'm Surprised!
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    This one came out really late. I'm not complaining, I'm just surprised. This IS an awesome review though! Well worth the wait.
  • Pokenutter
    Well, I was surprised that Jar-Jar wasn't higher on the list- until Bella, of course.
  • ST
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    Actually, as hard as it is to believe, Gadget actually showed some competence and saved Penny on purpose at least once.

    IIRC, they were in a haunted house and they ended up in a pit with walls of spikes closing in. Gadget was actually aware of the danger and stretched his legs out to try and push the spiked walls back. When that didn't work, he grabbed Penny and sprang out of there just in time.
  • JimmydelaKopin  - Actually...
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    ...it was a MAD deathtrap that managed to catch all three. They were tied up and the place was set afire...and IG used his gadgets competently to free himself and Penny and Brain and get them out of there before they burned to death.

    Or maybe DIC realized that having Gadget as a nincompoop all the time was dull and the writers gave him 2 competency episodes?
    (I do remember the gadget tie being used in the rescue. He used that as a superhero would use a grappling line: to catch an overhead pipe and let them swing out.)
  • azisnomarsa  - Great list
    avatar
    But Jar Jar should have been number one, if not for anything else, then for as you said letting the emperor rise to power and destroying 3 movies (yeah yeah, in last two he was minimized, but still)
  • Quantum Wolf
    avatar
    Jar Jar may be many things, but he DID NOT let Palpatine rise to power. Why? Because (As Expanded Universe material reveals) Palpatine's rise was already planned from the beginning by HIMSELF. He's that much of a badass and a master manipulator.

    Just saying, by Attack of the Clones, the Star Wars galaxy was already a fucked up place, even without Binks.

    And yes, I'm with the above, sort of. Bash Jar Jar all you want, but anything else related to the Phantom Menace or the other prequels is uneeded and already beat to a horse so much it aint funny anymore, as well as an insult to the people that actually DO genuinely like them.
  • SpeedyEric
    avatar
    No, he should have been #11.
  • Conred
    I am me
  • janplanet1
    avatar
    i totaly agree...and btw how do you know about all these facts about Bella?one more thing.i know you put peach on there but Zelda could be there to.
  • MaAlGon3
    avatar
    Yeah, you're right, she was kidnapped a lot. Except that Zelda could actually fight back. (Sheik, anyone?)
  • August M.
    avatar
    And she was helpful in many games. Plus it's a different Zelda in each game.
  • Blues
    Sheik never fought, at all, even once. There's no knowledge that she'd be a good fighter.

    Zelda is good with a bow. She's useful with a bow. And she does seem to have some magic but not attack magic. magic in zelda isn't usually the direct kind except for ganon(but even he rarely does much with it).
  • Sheranda
    avatar
    Sheik fought in Super Smash Brothers.
  • Lord of Lochaber
    avatar
    Ummm No. Zelda fights in the games. In Twilight Princess, she only surrenders to Zhant to save her people further pain. Then once link arrives and frees her, she takes pot shots at Gannondorf from Epona's back.

    In OOT she was Shiek, therefore she has ninja-esk skills. meaning that the people who capture her are competent people abducting someone who is a threat.

    Hell she isn't captured in every game (unlike Peach as far as I know) Majora's mask for instance, yah Zelda isn't even mentioned in it. (save for possibly the opening cinematic... its been a while.

    Bottem line, Princess Zelda of Hyrule is a competent ruler (or Ruler's Daughter as the case often is) who is abducted by a legitimate threat. This makes the games a lot more epic in scope, as the danger seems real. Unlike Peach, who is abducted by someone who is defeated by running behind him, grabbing his tail, comically swinging him over your head, and tossing him into a pit of lava.

    Zelda on the other hand... or rather... THE ENTIRE KINGDOM OF HYRULE, is saved by a long ass quest just to gain enough power to combat the Dark Lord who took over, after which, in his most resent form, you must defeat the puppet from of Zelda herself, slay Gannondorf in his beast form, then fight him and sever phantom minions while on horseback, followed by a duel to the death with something I have never seen Mario use... REAL WEAPONS.

    Case and point, Zelda is NOT a dumbass in distress; she is a competent person who is attacked by a truly dangerous individual of real power.
  • MissBlack
    avatar
    You can't forget however that the games are very different in style. Mario is humorous only. Even the moments you should take more seriously are filled up with jokes. Peach is the ultimate damsel in distress because she's a parody, even the games make fun of it. I don't mind saving her because that's just an excuse to another funny nonsensical adventure game. The plot, if there is one, should not be taken seriously.
    The Legend of Zelda is completely different. It's a epic tale. It can be funny too but the history is much more realistic, deep, serious and even scary at times. Zelda proved that she CAN fight so, when she is the damsel in distress, I feel much more frustrated. Like the ending of OoT or her appearance in Wind Waker.
    I know she's facing a huge threat but it would be really fun if she could fight alongside Link without sudden changes of personality from strong lady to "plase, save me!", or, at least, make use of her royal position to send an army or something.
  • SomeRandomGeek
    avatar
    True, Zelda could be on the list, except she actually did something.

    For while, I kinda always wonder why people didn't like Temple of Doom. Now I can see one of the main reason why.
  • MaAlGon3  - Thank you, Critic...
    avatar
    ... for displaying that hateful little bitch as the blood sucking manipulative vampire she really is. Oh, and Bella sucks too.
  • Sheranda
    avatar
    Which "vampire" were you talking about, then, MaAlGon3?
  • SailorCardKnight
    avatar
    Your pick for #1 made me love you even more.

    I have ALWAYS hated Bella SO much, and you summed up my thoughts on her perfectly! Shes a horrible, horrible, horrible role model to young girls everywhere. It disgusts me everytime I see the hype surrounding the Twilight series. Makes me want to shove a copy of one of the Potter books into the faces of the many moronic fans of Twilight I come in contact with, as a reminder of what good quality writing is like.
  • DetchChan  - OH SHIT!
    avatar
    Oh dear O_O... Bella. OF COURSE!! DX
    She is such a bitch! the Twilight movies sucks, mostly because of her, and that in fact, the vampires sucks there DX.. HOLY GOD!!

    But one thing that actually did surprise me, why did´nt you has Sid from Ice Age in??
    Or like others.. well, what do i know, you think they are the worse ;D but a good choice ;D
  • Sheranda
    avatar
    I can't think of anymore to add to the list. All I can say right now is "Ollo." I loved that movie. Roxanne definitely does not belong on this list.
  • BurnEdOut  - Inspector Gadget? Really?
    ...Way to entirely miss the point of the show.
    The concept ENTIRE is that he's a bumbling secret agent who deserves no credit whatsoever while an altruist kid does the work for no reward cause it's the right thing to do.
    Penny is supposed to be a role model for children.

    This list seems like its supposed to be about shows that would arguably be better if the characters weren't such premadonnas. With Inspector Gadget, changing that aspect would be altering the most BASIC ASPECT of the entire cartoon.

    If Inspector Gadget wasn't almost entirely worthless, there would be no point and the show wouldn't have made it off the ground.
  • LDSocrates
    avatar
    And intentionally annoying and facepalm-enducing is STILL just that, Burn.
  • trlkly
    avatar
    If you have to say burn yourself, you didn't burn anyone. It's about the same as having to laugh at your own jokes.
  • CBHall
    avatar
    They are like Lemmings!

    Attention seeking Lemmings!

    I'd feel sorry for them if I wasn't busy saving them.
  • Gethenian
    avatar
    Hah, love the list. LOVE your #1 choice. XD
  • shinni.evvk
    avatar
    I never really liked the Spiderman movie anyway, but what mostly kept me from ever watching the second one was Mary Jane. She was just so annoying and useless.
  • Von Ryan
    avatar
    Agreed. By Spiderman 2 I was secretly wishing she'd get sucked into that fusion reactor. Never saw 3 so I can't comment on it.

    I definitely agree with number 10 too. Getting saved by a blind guy and a chicken voiced by Urkel? Sad. Very sad.

    Willie, for all her screaming (there should be a scream off between her and Vicki Vale), had at least ONE small glimmer of usefulness. She punched a Thugee goon off the mine car she, Short Round and Indy were on. The guy landed on the tracks, got struck by a pursuing mine car, hurling the car into a bridge support...or something. But admittedly that doesn't make her any more appealing.
  • bluesoul
    avatar
    Thank you for making Bella number one on this list. My sister-in-law has tried to get me into the "Twilight" novels and movies (yeah, she's a fan), and I did make an effort, but... Damn, I hate Bella. You may not think it possible, Critic, but her narrative voice in the book is FAR worse than in the movie. (Well, as far as I read into the first book, anyway.) Believe it or not, the screenwriters of the first movie (also the only film I watched) made her kind of *sweet* compared to how she behaved in the first book. If that's not scary, I don't know what is.
  • Xena91388  - Oh thank God!
    avatar
    When this video came out late, I was afraid we weren't going to get one this week! D:

    I'd say one of the biggest dumbasses is Sonja from Mortal Kombat. Don't know why yet? Go watch Doug's Review of the movie! She's supposed to be a kick-ass Swat member but put her in a dress and she's completely helpless!
  • ryanwebb
    cool video cretic but i think peach shud have bin at like 6 or 7 not 2 she did help in mario RPG on the snes she was the main char in her ds game super princess peach plus in that game she had to save every one the toad's even mario&luigy plus thay did another v of mario 2 on the GBA ware it wasent a dream that time also in mario rpg 2 and 3 she did help more

    but ye every thing els looked right :P
  • DixieDarlin
    avatar
    Guess I'm the minority, I always liked Scrappy Doo. He wasn't any different than any other annoying little kid that crosses your path so he didn't bother me none.
  • Aotrs Commander
    avatar
    I always liked Scrappy, too. (Mind you, I was (and am still not) much of a Scooby Doo fan anyway (though the francise has it's moments, more so in some of the more recent - sadly Scrappy-less series.)



    Doug, though I respect you greatly, I am afraid that, as a long-term Jubilee fan, I must now - regretfully - set your internal organs on fire...



    Okay, seriously (sorta) Jubilee was pretty much single-handedly responcible (via the animated series) for getting me interested in the superhero genera at all. I, having watched the animated series many times, felt Jubilee was rather under-utilised, and you are correct in that her powers were vastly under-rated in the show. (In the comics, it was shown that she consciously held back most of time, since her power had been compared to a *fusion bomb* in damage potential.) You could argue that the fight with the sentinels at the end of the firt season, she hadn't got to that potential yet, but really, after that there wasn't much excuse. As Jubilee was my favoutite X-man, I was just happy to see her in an episode, but now that you mention it, she did get captured rather a lot, didn't she?

    What's worse; since the end of the Generation X comic a few years back, jubes has only been sporadically appearing (despite a strong and vocal fan base), and some times, she seems to appear just for Wolverine to save her (she appeared in one issue *specifically* and only so she could get impaled on something in an explosion.) Which is incredibly annoying, as during her tenure with Gen X, she was one of the more skilled members of the team. Arguably the whole recent Jubilee-becomes-a-vampire (yeah, I know) thing** was just so she could be saved/redeemed/what-have- you by Wolverine. (Still, it means she got a spin-off miniseries with Wolverine, so I won't complain too much. Since even a vampire Jubilee is better than a randomly-killed-off-to- show-how-dark-some- villain is one (as happened to some of her Gen X compatriots). Where there's (un)life there's hope, or something.

    So, yeah, anyway, I have to grudingly admit she did need a lot of saving in the animated series, though I won't conceed that she was ever a dumbass! (And you can't make me! Muahahahaha!)



    *While she still had her powers, which is a really sore point, by the way.

    ** Which is a really, really, *really* sore point...
  • Rockabore
    avatar
    I agree too, and I know that we're in the minority with that. Scrappy Doo has a really bad rep and I understand it but to me Scooby Doo was always too formulaic and after a while I think everyone even the major fans were bored by it. At least the episodes with Scrappy, it gave the show more unpredictability. BUT yeah they could have given him better voice acting and scrapped the bad catchphrase. Either way, I can say that not everything he was in sucked since 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo was pretty cool and the Monster School one were nice.
  • Thony_Hedgehog
    avatar
    I thought nothing could be Jar Jar. Princess Peach is whinny yes, but I loved her in Mario RPG. But then I saw number 1. Couldn't agree with you more.
  • Sheranda
    avatar
    Princess Peach is whinny?
  • TheWebHeadSpiderMan
    avatar
    Not whinny.. More like.. She's OK with being captured by Bowser/King Koopa. I mean... How did Bowser/King Koopa get kids anyway? Sure she was whinny in the begining a little bit... But now she's like. "I'm kidnapped. Rescue me when you have the time or feel like it." Sure Mario gets his price, but it's still very weird. I could probably torture and slowly kill her and she'd be like. "Mario, come and save me, when you feel like it. Love, Peach!" xD
  • Kaibaman
    avatar
    a Very brilliant one if I say so myself the Batman&Robin scene is very funny(especially in that review) Its nice to see that Doug know's the exsistance of gameanyone.com that made me go Oh My God in a good way
  • DJ_Burke  - What About "Lois & Clark"?
    avatar
    Nostalgia Critic, you made some really good points about the many incarnations of Lois Lane being an annoying damsel in distress. However, You mentioned the most recent versions of her in the Christopher Reeve movies and the animated series, but not the role that made Teri Hatcher famous.

    I really wanted to know what you thought of Hatcher's turn as Lois Lane in the TV series "Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman", which ran from 1993-1997. I thought she was good in that role, but I know other Superman fans who hated her as Lois Lane.

    Plus, I'm also surprised you didn't mention the woman who plays Lois Lane in "Smallville", or Kate Bosworth in "Superman Returns". I'm not familiar with "Smallville", but I can guess what you thought about Bosworth. I'm really interested to know what you thought of Teri Hatcher, though. Maybe I'll wait for that in a future "Top 11 F*ck Ups" episode.
  • xynnia  - Great point!
    avatar
    I wondered "What about 'Lois and Clark'?" when I heard him say that too! I think Teri Hatcher makes an awesome Lois Lane. Yeah she does get kidnapped, abducted and otherwise put in danger for the sake of the plot plenty of times, but she always manages to stand up for herself and literally kick some ass.
  • pithie  - hmmmmm
    How come it was up so late, I had to go hunting on blip to get my fix
  • krahtis
    avatar
    awesome as always
    jar jar did it!! :D
    and thanks for pointing out about the Robin
  • GBaase
    avatar
    I have never seen Twilight, and after seeing these top 11, my resolve to never see them period is cemented even further.
  • MrWezlum18  - There was one thing good about Scrappy Doo. . .
    and that is the end of the first live action Scooby Doo movie. For the most part, the movie is crap. But the twist at the end is so hilarious that it makes the whole thing worth it. If you haven't seen it, I won't spoil it, but go rent it. Now.
  • August M.
    avatar
    Yup, best part of the movie. Totally makes the movie a good time than a waste.
  • ElementalHero
    avatar
    I disagree, the Scooby Doo movie was still a piece of shit and the Scrappy being the badguy was one of the dumbest, laziest plot twists ever.
  • SamhainTheDark
    avatar
    I'm actually surprise he didn't acknowledge Scrappy's role in the movie! XD
  • Rockabore
    avatar
    Probably because that movie was shitty enough to get reviewed later. XD
  • takineko
    avatar
    Hahaha oh Twilight, fight the good fight Critic.

    [I think I'm the only Star Wars fan in existence with a high tolerance level for Jar Jar Binks]
  • Moreno X
    No need to feel alone takineko, I'm one of those few Star Wars fans can have high tolerance level for Jar Jar Binks. Besides, I can also get through of watching the prequels over and over and over again.....I'm not kidding.

    I guess you can say that I'm those few in the Star Wars community that liked the prequels. And please, try not to put me in a debate of hating the prequels to like more the originals...even it is true to do that.
  • MissBlack
    avatar
    I tolerate Jar Jar but that's because I really liked the gungans as a race. It's a shame they made the major gungan character so idiotic. That's why I hate the "comic relief" concept ¬¬'
  • Nhoj
    avatar
    I particularly like the conclusion xD

    And yeah, I remember this piece of shitty cake...
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