The Langoliers
Tuesday, 15 March 2011 20:32
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Comments (508)
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03.15.2011 - 20:53 | SpeedyEric
You think the CGI in this movie are THAT bad, wait until you see part 2 of Phelous's review on "Birdemic."
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03.15.2011 - 21:04 | KingGramJohnsonReally? Are they worse?! Is that possible?! Wouldn't worse be cartoons mixed in with the live action? No wait, that would most likely look better, wouldn't it?
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03.15.2011 - 22:38 | SpeedyEricTrust me, dude. "Birdemic" isn't a movie, it's a feature length instructional video on how NOT to make a movie.
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If you thought that CGI was bad, you should see the crappy monster movie Reptillian! It's worse than langoliers, and godzilla 1998!
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04.10.2011 - 19:40 | Sheranda
Watching this makes me want to go back in time to the making of this series, and say to Tom Holland, "No! No! You are not ready for computers. Go back to stop motion!"
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05.14.2011 - 04:06 | GallopingGoomba
Hey, the CGI for Zilla was excellent. True, they kept screwing up his size, but he looked and moved fantastically.
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03.16.2011 - 10:22 | EVOLUTION117I hope that 'Doc Critic' will show up again to take the Critic back to the future so that he can review Birdemic as well.
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03.16.2011 - 11:55 | BATZARRO
While technically correct, the effects on Birdemic can't be called CGI as we understand it colloquially. Sure, they where generated in a computer, and are most likely "images", but...you know what people mean by CGI. 3D models.
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03.16.2011 - 13:11 | montanker
Yeah, that was just...freakin' hilarious! They might as well have dangled plastic birds in front of the camera. It woulda looked better...
On a completely unrelated note, Red Dwarf did the time travel back to JFK assassination thing. It didn't go so well.
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03.15.2011 - 21:29 | Not Shelley DuvallI can confirm for you that yes, the blind girl is Mary from "The Secret Garden." Her name is Kate Maberly; since you've admitted to seeing "The Secret Garden" (nothing to be ashamed of), you know she's capable of much better.
Also, the Shatner!actor guy, I think, out-Shatnered Shatner. I didn't think such a thing was possible!
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03.16.2011 - 05:16 | doggans
The Shatner acting jokes were fun, but seeing as the guy was Dean Stockwell, Ziggy says there's an 83% chance that there should have been a "Quantum Leap" clip as soon as he started babbling about Time Travel.
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Critic had how many Perfect Strangers gags for Bronson Pintoit but Dean Stockwell didn't get 1 Quantum Leap joke even when it was his character that sugested the time rift explenation?
well I think we all know whats going to be on
NC's top 11 fuck ups vol.3
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Yes I agree, that should go straight onto fuck ups vol.3. By the way, did anyone catch that the Critic misspelt Perfect Strangers? He spelt it Perfect Starngers. You would think with, like, 40 Perfect Strangers jokes he would at least spell it correctly in the credits.
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03.16.2011 - 00:33 | RockBandGod100you're right man, that is the leading lady from the Secret Garden.
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03.16.2011 - 12:41 | speelbergoyes, you are right.
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03.16.2011 - 14:51 | Tsumefan
i gotta say that if he did do the Drinking Game again then i think he would have a really really bad hangover xD
btw Doug...i love your Shatner impersonations xD all you gotta do now is perfect your Jeff Goldblum impersonation and you'll be all set XD
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03.16.2011 - 15:31 | sprezzatura
You caught that too lol? The second that girl took off her glasses, I was like- Psychic Mary Lennox?!?!?
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03.16.2011 - 16:21 | GoPortugalYeah! Goddamn horrible CGI.
I'm King reader and I think they didn't need to show The Langoliers, in the story we never see the Langoliers we only hear the sound of them aproaching.
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03.16.2011 - 20:37 | ladydiskette
I loved The Shining! (the Kubrick one mind you) it was everything that was RIGHT about making a Stephan King book into a movie!
I will admit the mouth things would be freaking scary as hell if you saw them in the sky in real life. But it still doesn't justify the movie's crappiness.
I am only 10 minutes into this review and already the Twilight Zone parody and the Bronson Pinchot scene have glued me in. Yays!
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03.17.2011 - 20:47 | secretsheikHmm, actually now that I look at them closely, they look more like the Deku Babas from the Legend of Zelda series, particularly the large red ones from Twilight Princess. If you cut off their heads, they just charge after you and try to eat you, just like this!
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03.15.2011 - 20:35 | Anthony R
Steven King needs to just stick to books. At least Geralds Game wasn't made into a mini series.
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Now THAT'S a cliche.
Being caught in a freeze-frame while jumping up, with a fist in the air, one leg up, and shouting, "YEAH!"
Say what you will about IT, but at least IT had scary moments. Pennywise was terrifying in several scenes. Yet these Walnuts from Hell are orb-shaped disappointments filled with the sour center of unintentional camp.
The Killer Tomatoes were scarier than these CGI Raisin monsters. Oh, this film is by the book BAD.
Great review Doug.
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03.16.2011 - 03:52 | jjflashCGI Raisin monsters: Low in fat, High in DEATH!
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03.16.2011 - 22:37 | SkullCap*applauds*
Very good, sir, very good indeed.
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03.16.2011 - 10:19 | TragicGuineaPig
"I heard it through the Grape-Viiiine,
And I'm going to Lose My Miiiind!
Honey, Honey, Yeaaaaaaah!"
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03.16.2011 - 12:42 | speelbergonaw, The Dark Tower can make an excellent film anthology.
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03.18.2011 - 18:36 | Zeraph
At least they've hooked Ron Howard on the project, and he's actually competent! Maybe King can make better movie deals now when he's off the booze?
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03.15.2011 - 20:38 | TheAngryAnimeAddict
Great Reveiw. I love the re-appearance of Older Critic again.
The overacting jokes were great...
scaring the little gIRL!
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03.15.2011 - 20:38 | mlsterben
That guy with the glasses (in the movie, not Doug's character) sitting behind the little girl looks like the main guy from Phantasmagoria. Too bad he doesn't turn into a dog or whatever. I haven't watched Spoony's Let's Play in a pretty long time...
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03.15.2011 - 22:12 | sbkMulletMan
I HEARD that, Curtis!
...couldn't help it.
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03.16.2011 - 03:20 | Ally-Gator
Hm, I thought he looked a bit like Seymour from "Little Shop of Horrors" and the guy from Troll 2's manchild. I was waiting for the Langoliers to start screaming "FEED ME!"
But hey what do I know? (not a lot) man, the Skygina's gonna be pissed off with me.
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03.15.2011 - 20:39 | KaitlynMutt
Oh, yes...
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03.15.2011 - 20:47 | NEWGUY
Another Stephen King drinking game? Good God man! That'll get you killed!!
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03.16.2011 - 06:48 | Skuzbucketlickmyponybutt
interesting vid, goofy, fun and scary. all things to expect when watching a Stephen king review.
....i can eat food of my boobs >.> can i buy a booby shrink ray off ebay? or should i go to amazon?
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03.15.2011 - 20:51 | FullmetalNinja25
Oh Bronson Pinchot how your "acting" gives us endless joy for all the wrong reasons. :D
Great video Doug!
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03.15.2011 - 20:52 | SpeedyEricI never heard of “The Langoliers” before. Looks like we’re in for a treat …fill with excrement.
I think the credits on the back of the DVD case assumes that Tom Holland is God, but that’s just me. =)
2:27- Well, Lupa did the same thing in her review of “Angel of Fury.” I guess there’s no harm done in doing it in this film.
4:20- I thought Star Trek IS badass.
“Scaring the little GIRL!?!?!?” I think we found an addition to The All-Quacking Choir.
OMG, that cartoon joke just made my day.
14:37- Actually, I counted 10 pauses.
The Langoliers looks like they were made by either the Sci-Fi Channel or The Asylum Films.
The plane flying towards the “skygina” looks like the opening title sequence of “Doctor Who.”
I agree that this mini-series would have been good if it wasn’t wacky up the @$$.
Great review, Doug, and congrats on the TGWTG Vol. 2 DVD. I would like to get it, but my job sucks and I don’t have a credit card.
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03.15.2011 - 21:14 | DarkMessiah
I counted 10 pauses too. I think the one he missed was barely noticeable, so I can understand why he missed it.
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03.15.2011 - 22:38 | SpeedyEricTrue. =S
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03.15.2011 - 20:53 | SlyDante
Wow, I actually was interested in seeing this when I was a kid, mainly to see the creatures behind it all...And having seen those cheap CGI monstrocities now, I must thank you, Critic, for saving me precious childhood time (which I spent on watching other mindless TV sci-fi, but still).
So if the survivors in the end are just appearing in the airport as time catches up with them, doesn't that mean the plane they were in is going to suddenly pop up as well? Looks like some pilot's in for a big surprise when he makes his landing!
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03.15.2011 - 20:55 | elderscrollsHey doug i think you were funnier when you first started you are still funny but you went from R rating to PG13 To even PG witch is not bad but try to be a little more assetive
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03.16.2011 - 04:06 | vorpalsword
a period(or full stop) would of been nice somewhere in that post
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03.15.2011 - 20:56 | TM.ahh the drinking game again now my liver finally can just die
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03.15.2011 - 20:58 | Arc Hammer
Never heard of The Langoliers. But it's already giving me bad flashbacks to that terribly disappointing Jodie Foster movie.
And can you blame the people for being scared when it's time to land? They're in MAINE. The only way this could be worse is if they went to a cabin in the middle of the woods and started reading from an ancient, leather-bound tome that one of them brought...in the middle of a thunderstorm.
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03.15.2011 - 21:12 | Uhyeah_WhateverUh, Doug, I don't know if you were just making a joke but you got the actor wrong for Albert (aka, the guy who was 'shot'):
guy who played Albert: http://www.imdb.com/name/ nm0171754/
guy who played Billy from Power Rangers: http://www.imdb.com/name/ nm0949128/
Again, I don;t know if you were just commenting that he looks like him or not and I'm not trying to be Douchy (for the love of all things good someone shoot me in the head if I am) I just thought I'd point that out. I would've loved a reference from Sleepaway Camp but not my review.
To be honest, this is one of the movies I did watch, but I called those circles of teeth, for a lack of better words, rejected web creatures from Reboot.
Not one of the better Books to movie adaptation. I liked Thinner and Misery, oh and Carrie. Never really got into the mini-series though.
Thanks for the review. Now I'm reminded to never watch this ever again. Good job by the way.
Can't wait for your next review/old vs new/top 11 video...as long as you don't review Homeward Bound, Mighty Max (even though Tony Jay's in it) or the Smoggies... actually, review all of them I wanna see you rip 'em a new one. ^_^
Uhyeah_Whatever.
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03.16.2011 - 02:36 | LimeGreenSquid
It was obviously a joke. We all understood it's not Billy, but he is geeky and 90s PG enough to pass as Billy-like.
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03.15.2011 - 21:01 | TheEpicStickMan
Doug is going to be at BG! WOOT!!!
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03.15.2011 - 21:47 | rockybalboa211
I remember watching this movie on Sci Fi channel back in the day. That was an awful awful saturday, I could have gone to Laser Quest, yet I told my friends that I wanted to make it through this movie...I was an idiot! :(
Also I agree with SpeedyEric, The GIF birds in Phelous's birdemic 2 review are a lot worse than the graphics for the Langoliers.
I also hate the inconsistent speed of the Langoliers. It takes them a long time to travel through empty barren fields, and than when the things do appear at the airport, they go around at a very super fast pace!
8:13 - They should have made this into a porn, it could have saved it! :D
17:21 - Black Guy NOOOOOOOOO!!!!
At the end, wouldn't they have been taken in by the police? I mean dead little girl inside the plane, and hundreds of passengers missing.. Well I guess it's time to celebrate! :D
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03.15.2011 - 21:15 | DarkMessiahI dunno what King’s obsession is with Maine, but my main question is… are you sure that’s not Thora Birch playing the little blind girl? I swear their voices, acting, and mannerisms are almost exactly alike.
Oh, and the Dance of Joy is very handy once the credits of this movie start rolling. But it’s only necessary if you’ve watched it all the way through.
I think your version of the floating buffalo testicles looked better than the Holland version. Hm. Oh well.
I’m pre-ordering your DVD. I don’t have Volume 1, but I’ll get it later.
I would comment further but I have a MEETING IN BOSTON AT 9 O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING! PROMPTLY AT 9 O’CLOCK!
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The reason why Stephen King places most of his stories in Maine is because he grew up in Maine.
Uhyeah_Whatever
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03.15.2011 - 21:43 | DarkMessiahWell, I suppose that makes sense. Usually in a small town, there's a small-minded setting which can help in pointless cliché character arcs. That's where all the weird shit happens. In the city, that's where all the crazy shit happens. And in outer space, that's where all the sci-fi shit happens.
While it is good that he likes to write stories that sort of take place where he grew up, it would be nice if he changed it up a bit.
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03.15.2011 - 22:19 | Jord68
actually he has set some of his story's in other locations. there was quite a few but the one i remember clearly was Duma Key, and also a lot of his short story's take place in other city's.
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03.17.2011 - 14:04 | Cassiekins
Desperation was another one and part if its sister book, The Regulators.
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This is the first time I've caught a video early enough to be a top 25 comment and vote... KEEP IT UP TGWTG!
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03.15.2011 - 21:15 | Seamusowns
Nostalgia Critic is the greatest thing to happen to the World.
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03.15.2011 - 21:16 | SamhainTheDark
Reefer Madness the documentary or Reefer Madness the musical?
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03.15.2011 - 21:18 | VinnyBastos
My God, this is bad.
And I Thought "It" was the worst they had ever done with a Stephen King Story.
And I missed the Stephen King drinking game!
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03.15.2011 - 21:19 | WhoIsMysterion1. I created an account just to comment on this movie review.
2. I LOVE the Twilight Zone opening. I'm a huge fan of the show, and your reveiws, therefore the two together is pure amazing-ness.
3. I'm happy that you finally reviewed this after you mentioned it in the IT commentary. I was one of the unfortunate ones to watch this when I was younger. And even then, I felt that this movie was lame. (Which is saying something since I enjoyed the Super Mario Brothers movie when I was that age). This might have been due to the fact that I was too young to really understand what was going on in this movie but even the monster-things looked lame. And the little girl Dina REALLY annoyed me.
4. I agree with everything that you said. Especially with the acting. Personally, I believe that there is no excuse for having bad actors since you have a whole freakin' world of people to choose a cast from. So, either these actors are not so great or they were really the best choice and the writing was just awful. Either way, this movie/mini-series/ whatever was laughable when I was little and is still laughable now.
Great job Critic!
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03.15.2011 - 21:19 | jabraille
I was SO HAPPY when I saw this title. This is easily the worst movie I've ever watched, and I just wriggled with glee as you ripped it apart. I'm a little sad that you didn't show the melodramatic little-blind-girl- talking-about-seeing-as- she-dies bit, but you covered everything else so well that I have little room for complaint.
The Stephen King Drinking Game claims more lives per year than shark attacks. * The More You Know *
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03.15.2011 - 21:23 | Karutomaru
Her name was... Dinah.... what is this? A sign? Or a cruel joke by god? I miss Dinah so much. I wish she could be here so I could tell her there's a character with the same name as her. ;(
http:// www.destructoid.com/ blogs/Karutomaru/goodbye- dinah-196344.phtml
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03.15.2011 - 21:25 | ChektHaha
I've never heard of this movie before
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By The Way, "The Stephen King Mini-Series" in the beggining was just a joke or are you really going to do more on this terrible adaptations, like the TV version of "The Shining" or "Rose Red"?
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03.16.2011 - 01:21 | GrantenRose Red wasn't too bad. The Shining might work.
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03.16.2011 - 20:21 | QueensNYC2021the latest Stephen King miniseries, Kingdom Hospital could work if it wasn't past the NC cutoff date(made in 2004). But all I remember from that one was an anteater was the monster or something....yes, anteaters are evil incarnate
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So a story about a plane that goes through a portal that sends the passengers through time and they need to find a way to get back. Where have I heard that before? (http://en.wikipedia.org/ wiki/ The_Odyssey_of_Flight_33)
Oh well, great review. Look forward to the next one
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03.15.2011 - 21:34 | SlicedSmoke14
The CGI in this movie makes those SyFy movie's CGI a masterpiece.
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I'm slightly ashamed to say that for me this movie is something of a guilty pleasure. I sort of enjoy it's hammy acting; and the bad CGI can be overlooked with a little imagination at what it's supposed to look like. I know it's a terrible film, but I still watch it every time it comes on, :p. Plus, it could also be the fact that I first saw this film when I was younger, and less critical. But if you want a bad SK mini-series watch The Tommyknockers. Terrible acting, and even more terrible payoff.
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03.16.2011 - 14:33 | M.A.D.MikE[ATF]
I totally agree. I did enjoy it as a kid, and i'm not going to change my mind, since all of the flaws are easy to overlook :)
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03.15.2011 - 21:40 | TheDued92
King looks like a monkey that made love to a chipmunk.
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03.20.2011 - 00:48 | DwaneI think you mean the offspring of that union, and yeah, he totally does. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but he's definitely a chipmonkey.
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Hey, isn't that blind girl the same girl who played Mary in "The Secret Garden"?! I mean...I, uh...never saw "The Secret Garden"...ahem!
Oh my GOD! I've never seen CGI THAT bad before! You weren't kidding, that's awful! The mud balls with teeth YOU put in looked better than the ones in the movie!
Great review, Doug!