Ugh. They should've just stuck with their original plans for the sequel:

http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=LyGMiwOGBfM

Now THAT would've been a huge improvement over this drekfest.

Awesome review, Doug! Never saw this movie myself (though admittingly I wanted to when I was a kid), & now I'm even more glad I never did. All that awe & wonder I remember from seeing the first film, flushed down the crapper.

Also, what the heck is it with teenage girls in these movies being able to pull off the near-impossible? The one in the first film can hack into a multi-million dollar computer network, & this one can kick the crap out of a raptor & end up being the only one to display basic logic? What the hell do they teach these kids?

Soooo...Million-dollar amusement park showcasing dinosaurs = Perfectly fine, San Diego Zoo showcasing dinosaurs = Satan. Yep, totally makes sense.

MAN: When it's not trying to kill or torture animals, it's trying to kill & torture ITSELF in a misguided attempt to teach us about being kind to nature! Well, either that or strapping cyborg implants to other animals & forcing them to kill man in a similar misguided attempt. That & to sell toys.

By the way, wasn't it MAN who helped clone these dinosaurs & revive them from extinction in the first place? Um, you're friggin' welcome, nature. Mind paying us back by at least not having the rules of your creatures change in between films?

(P.S. Why doesn't UBB Code seem to work for me?)

Thumbs up for The Critic
What a great show

Ok, that Raptor-animation had me laughing harder than I really should have been. XD

No, you were laughing exactly as hard as you should have. Seriously, I was in stitches.

"Awww, I'm a bad raptor! I'm a bad, bad raptor!"

lol Rob Walker is pretty good at a Jeff Goldblum impression I will give him that.

I agree with you, ladydiskette. I would be able to appreciate Rob's impression if he wasn't shoving it in our faces and stretching it out way beyond the point that it stops being funny. Sorry. I'm still mad about The Thief and the Cobbler review.

Excellent work! Really, this was undoubtedly one of your best. There were so many good jokes in this one. And in case you think I'm just kissing your ass, here's a list of them:

- Rob's lessons were just awesome.

- "SARuhAH!"

- Try to be Invested (I lost. Or did I win?...I wasn't invested)

- "MAAAN! *Yes Man...*"

- "'So on a scale of one to ten how douchey is this?'
'Oh this is incredibly douchey, this is like Hitler douchey, no doubt about it.'"

- "I guess this one has a disadvantage over the first seeing as it was NOT kept in captivity and has been HUNTING IN THE WILD for four years!" (This wasn't a joke, but it still made me laugh)

- "Oh my god a snake! Is there anything worse than a snake? OhyeahthegiantTyrannosaur uswaitingformeoutside!" (Even worse is that it's a milk snake not a coral snake. This one was fridge comedy. It was even funnier after I thought about it for a while.)

- The dinosaur judges made both me and my roommate lol.

- "Raptor: Yeeeeeeeees? (followed by Goofy scream)" (I had to pause the review, I was laughing so hard I couldn't hear you)

- "BOOMER WILL-oooh...We'll getchya another Boomer."

Overall I'd say this review is epic baked inside hilarious and doused with pure, concentrated, awesomesauce. The weird thing is, I loved this movie as a kid. And this was at a point in my childhood where I was able to more critically think about what I was watching. Yet I liked it nontheless. Looking back though I can really see the flaws in it, which is probably why I laughed so much. I hope next week is this good too. Are you going to post the list of the next NCs in Site News?

Another funny one was: "Jeff Goldblum talking to his crew, containing Vince Vauhng""YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AY!!!"Oh wait, wwait, hes..not in a comedy""BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OO!"

Yeah. And I also forgot the "Aaw I'm a BAD raptor!" bit.

All my favorite parts too, especially the raptor's "Yeeeesss?" I think the only thing missing from this review is that I wish Doug had commented on the girl yelling "Go away!" to the Rex when just before the snake guy got eaten.

I think it would have been funnier if he just said, "BOOMER WILL-- oooh! Uh... nevermind."

Best one he ever did.

Whoa, you can't call it a drekfest if you've never actually seen it and only know the details through a thirty-minute Internet review.

Well you see, "Now THAT would've been a huge improvement over this drekfest that I admittingly didn't see but going by Doug's review as well as those of several other critics seems a tad bland & really doesn't seem to appeal to appeal to me & thus I will still refer to it as a drekfest if only for any smidgen of comedic value." just didn't seem to have the same ring to it. =P

Also, to everyone else, I get eleven "Thumbs Down" just for being first, regardless of my actual comment?? Are you f***ing serious??? Well gee, sorry I watched the video on Doug's Blip account beforehand & actually tried to write some intelligent (at least by Internet standards) obervations that I could use for a comment here. Here, let me at least give you what you wanted:

DERP FIRST DERPITY FIRST FIRST DERP

Sheesh, at least Kgent has a more legit reason for giving me a thumbs down, my apologies for that as well.

How do you know everyone else didn't thumb you down for the same reason Kgent did? It could have been a total coincidence that you were first. Ever think of that?

Okay, I admit, that outburst was uncalled for, & you're right. I was paranoid, dickish, & annoyed at being judged over seemingly trivial bits, & pretty much regretted that post soon after making it. I sincerely apologize for my crazed rant, & hope you can all forgive me.

Still, I have no regrets about mocking what I've seen here.

(Also, forgive me if this ends up being a double post...My first apology didn't seem to go through.)

protip: Lie and say you've seen the movie atleast before you say it sucks

Cry sum maor

Chipmunk Man is Heavy Weapons Guy from TF2!

I liked the Lost World. It isn't as good as the first, but it is still entertaining. I know people have their own opinion, but why is it a shared opinion that this movie sucks? When I first saw I didn't see anything wrong, I still don't. I may get thumbs down, and probably get criticize for saying this, but I think the Lost World is one of the most underrated movies. Well, that is only my opinion.

P.S. The book was MUCH better though. I recommend it to everyone. It is VERY GOOD.

R.I.P. Michael Crichton

I do agree, the movie took basic scenes in the book, but yet, mucked it all up.

I think a lot of the negative feeling comes down to disappointment in the fact it wasn't a patch on the original. Taken on it's own merits it's flawed, but watchable (assuming you can make it past the dumbassery on display from the characters at almost every turn). The original had an epic feel to it, this was just a dumb B movie with plot holes galore, and after the original that blew peoples minds, this wasn't enough.

I will admit, the movie was rather silly and/or stupid in a few places, but I still enjoyed it. I can understand why some people wouldn't, but I would think that if you didn't like the lost world, you probably didn't like the first movie either.

Also... did I seriously just hear the Nostalgia Critic imply that only cute animals deserve to be protected...? (10:45)

No, you did not hear the Critic say that only cute animals deserve to be protected. He was ironically calling the T-rex cute to imply that it was frightening and dangerous.

Also, did anyone else recognize Weird Al's song?

"Jurassic Park is fright'ning in the dark.
All the dinosaurs are running wild!
Someone shut the fence off in the rain.
I admit it's kinda eerie,
But this proves my chaos theory,
And I know I won't be coming back again.
Oh no!"

I'd like to Post James Rolfe's Video of top 10 sequels that arent as bad as everyone says since this movie is on the list. He brings up alot of good points, in that it's not the worst Jurassic Park sequel, and had plenty of entertaining moments in it.

http://www.spike.com/ video/cinemassacre-top- 10/3423944

PS They carried the baby TRex because its leg was broken. Sure it maybe a carnivore that could eat them, but if it has a broken leg, it wouldn't be able to attack them.

The baby T.Rex wasn't the issue, why was it tied down with a broken leg?

So that the big, uninjured, dangerous mother, would come and rescue it. It was bait, which the heroes then nobly but stupidly put inside their base. At which point the hunters plan works perfectly, the mother T.Rex DOES come to rescue it's baby.

It's just now instead of it being out in the open where the humans could either attack it or run away, it's inside with them and they have no means of escape.

No. "Jurassic Park III" might have an even smaller story, but overall most of the extreme dumbness of Part 2 is thankfully not present.

The end with the communication-thing between the heroes and the raptors is widley debatet, but at the end "Jurassic Park III" is just a neat creature feature that even has some entertaining and sympathetic characters, instead of the assholes in Part 2. (And what is even sadder, originally the vince vaughn guy should have died in the script after radioing the choppers in, but sadly they didn't used this in the final film. That's too bad!)

Here's a better typing of the link.

http://www.spike.com/ video/cinemassacre-top- 10/3423944

don't forget the teenage boy in that craptastic third movie who survived for months on a dinosaur infested island eating nothing but chocolate and beans while stealing urine from a T-Rex.

"Ugh. They should've just stuck with their original plans for the sequel:"

But uh, that WOULD? uh be uh CHAOS? THEORY?

... uh sorry uh I um um um umumumum had to.

Christ, I got scared at first when the raptor went up to the critic :P

I recently saw this movie and there is one thing I was hoping you would adress. When the T-rex runs amok in San Diego, he eats a poor guy who I guess was just on his way to the movies or going home from work. I mean, how random is that, that must be the most random death ever! :P And somebody has got to call his family and friends, what are they gonna tell them, "eaten by a dinosaur in downtown Dan Diego"? :P

did you know that this guy was in fact played by David Koepp,the one who wrote the script?
i would have like to see some jokes about this fact in the review.

That Jeff Goldbloom impression sounds like John Malkovich's performance in Eragon.

I only watched the first movie, and this review, but I totally agree about the teenage girls. The thing in the first film where she could hack into a computer security system that was supposed to be "super advanced" annoyed me to no end. The girl in this movie... She had to be like, one hundred pounds, maybe less. Would someone of that size REALLY be able to kick a dinosaur of that size out the window?

As for this movie... The whole "capturing dinosaurs is wrong" thing seems pretty stupid. For one, we do it with other animals, like NC said. Two, humans cloned them in the first place, they wouldn't even exist without them. So... yeah.

Glad to see the "MAN!" joke again. XD

Thank god I'm not the only one annoyed by young kids, been super smart, or strong. I hate unrealism.D:

i liked this movie, but not as much as the first. the first is the greatest movie of all time but hey i loved this review but you know what im glad they did this movie instead of doing it like the book, i mean the book suck monkies

I'm sorry but I can't stand it when I read these ass kissing comments from people who hadn't even seen the film Doug was reviewing. Seriously if you haven't seen the film You have no fucking clue what you are talking about.

Doug I think you were getting a bit over-blown with the negativity on this film. Yea it wasn't anywhere nearly as jaw dropping in the effects department, and the plot left much to be desired but you seem to be more enthusiastic here then you were with Battlefield Earth.

Granted this is still a fun review and it had me laughing. I just disagree with the how bad this film really was. Mediocre, yes.... Godawful, No.

actually I have, great job making assumptions.

besides, the T-Rex Climax really tells you, "I'm Better than Godzilla... The movie"

I am not afraid to admit, I love Jurassic Park, one of my favorite movies and would watch it any time its on.


But the last two movies were a bit...ehhh lacking

That I never understood in the first movie, how could a Velocipraptor (sorry for the bad spelling) learn how to open a door if they lived out in the wild where there are no doorknobs?

There's a few things I want to comment on what you posted.
First off, the youtube link doesn't work. I dunno if they took the video down or what, but I can't get it to work. I would like to see it though. It sounds interesting.
Second. the movie isn't quite as bad as NC says. Don't get me wrong, it's miles lower than the original, but, if you were a kid, you'd probably love it regardless.
Third. About what you said about the parks...well. When I was a kid I never really got the Peta References (you know, animal activists...I know I suck at being funny). but The reason I thought they wanted to stop a park from opening in San Diego is...well, for the very reason the first park failed. One power outage and BOOM, the dinos escape. The only difference is instead of having Five people dead (Not three Jeff Goldbloom) you now have five thousand dead. Maybe it was just common sense and the movie never addressed it, but I remember them saying something about that. It has been a long time since I saw the movie.

I Can't find your link.

Think you're pulling hairs with this one. Seems like the people who hate this movie out weigh the people who like it. I know it's bad but it's nostalgia good...which means it's not as good as we remember it.

My only gripe with BOTH the sequels is that neither of them dealt with the embryos lost in the Mud when Newman got eaten by the Spitter Dino. They never bring it up, and they never think to visit the 1st island to stop people from getting a hold of that device. That would've made just as good as movie instead of these two.

the only thing I remember about this movie is forgetting it.....

that and the black girl kicking the dinosaur, because that's a special brand of stupid.

also, don't fuck with the baberuthasaurus

also, Rob is my new hero

The first movie, Dobson (the guy who gave Newman the magic shaving cream can) said that there was only enough coolant inside for 18 hours. Once that was up, the embryos would quickly die. Since they were so adamant about getting viable embryos, once they're dead they're pretty much worthless to everyone.

At least the book had a reason for there being a 2nd island. That was where they did all of the testing and various genetic tinkering to go from fossilized mosquitoes to living dinosaurs who are all female and can't manufacture lysine. Once they had perfected the process, they sent the embryos to Jurassic Park where they would be grown and put on display.

But the island got abandoned fairly quickly and the original embryo containment in the labs would presumably still have been there. Forget the stolen ones, surely the company would try to salvage those?

Why would they be worthless? Even dead, the embryos contain the completed genome of their respective dinosaur species. That's still a hell of a lot of research that another company wouldn't have to do.

Now, granted, there's not much point in trying to track down a tiny lost item when there are adult, viable dinosaurs already walking around the island which are much easier to find. But they're hardly worthless.

That container was only able to preserve them for so long. The labs and that thing should not have anything viable within a few months after what happened in the first movie.

using the embryos as a plot device would be a HORRIBLE idea. its WAAY too sci-fi for jurassic park. the actual JP fandom (of which i am an avid member) was quite glad when a rumored script involving those embryos was debunked

speaking of which, since joe johnston has finished up captain america now, his next project is JP4

In fact, "Lost World" the book actually *was* a direct result of the Nedry situation. Instead of Ingen guys being the bad guys, Dodgson and BioSyn had come to Site B to steal dinosaurs rather than take chances with embryos.

Actually, that was a glitch, Nedry didn't actually steal embryos, he stole DNA. Furthermore, the coolant only lasted like 72 hours, so even if you managed to find it in the mud, it wouldn't do anyone any good. Oh, also the island was napalmed.

the island wasnt napalmed that was in the book the book they just napalmed everything and tehre were dozens of rapters and they found nedreys body in the middle of the road but said fuck that dna he has a rocket launcher in his jeep

"Remember: VIABLE embryos. They're no use to us if they don't survive."

This was (loosly) based off the book The Lost World. The first book, the military came in and blew the island up. They should had that reasoning explained in the movie though.

About your points, no one knows the cooler survived or where it went, but it only had a limited amount of coolant in it to keep the embryos cold.

While they knew he gathered the Embryos because he was going for the boat, they had no way of knowing where it was lost and eventually buried. However, the new Jurassic Park game does answer this very question. So if you wish to overcome those gripes you might wanna check that game out :)

hopefully they don't screw up Jurassic Park 4 IF they finally make it because to me, that movie should be the greatest movie of the year as an apology for all of the crappy Jurassic Park sequels.... I'm hoping... >_>

Have drink because this site will tell u Alot about 4. Jurassic Park 4.com

Not Boomer! I lost the "invested" game as well....

As Phelous would say to our hippie heroes, "THEY'RE the best!"

Also, I actually liked this movie when I first saw it...well, I was a little kid then, so yeah.

Never finished the 3rd, only saw the end of the 1st, and how's that 4th movie coming along?

This was one of very few movies I actually didn't at all like, and back then I'd watch and enjoy pretty much everything. The first one and the genesis game were good though.

Man, I loved this movie so much as a kid. Its only now I realize how flawed it was compared to the first film.

Movies can get away with a ton if they have dinosaurs in them, at least as far as kids are concerned.

Had to come say this is my favorite review ever.
I love Jurassic Park and I actually like The Lost World to. But the jokes and everything in this review were just so great that even if it was my favorite movie ever I wouldn't have minded at all.

Keep up the great work

Plain and simple: movies can be ruined when streched out like this

Oh, yes. I remember watching this in high school when the teacher wanted to keep us preoccupied on the last two days before winter break. I also remember it being completely forgettable.

Same that Arnold's too old to take on a major film role at this point. Otherwise we could've gotten a great double dose of "King Lear/Hamlet" in the house. Who's with me?

Arnold's not too old to take on major roles. He's just too busy with being the governor of California.

Still, I'm really sad that I'll never see Arnold in a William Shakespeare play.

Wootness!!

Why ain't no one shooting that T Rex.

Man, I remember when I went to see this movie with my parents in 1997. The first Jurassic Park movie was one of the first movies I ever saw in theaters and much like the NC said, it was an exciting, fantastic time. The sequel, however, left me disappointed. My parents hated it because they thought the action was too much and the plot was boring.

It's not THE worse movie ever made, but it could have been much, much more. There was so much potential wasted.

The review itself was great. So many great visual gags, like the talking raptor one. XD

I really didn't like the first Jurassic Park. Totally overrated movie, in my opinion. It was decent, but not very good. Not much character development, script was meh, and they should've showed more dinosaurs. Could've done more with the plot too. But it kept me occupied, so that's good. Sequel could've had a ton of potential, but watching this review...

Once again, you took tehe words right out of my mouth.:D

I liked this movie when I first saw it, granted I was 14 years old and my taste hadn't kicked in yet.

Great video Doug! =D

My review request got answered!

Anyways, as Jurassic Park is my all-time favorite movie, I got to say...this sequel was utter crap. I mean, it's a mildly okay film at the most...but definitely pales in comparison to the first. But, at least it's not anywhere compared to the sheer awfulness of the third movie. *Shudders*

Great review. ^^

The third movie wasn't THAT bad.
It actually accomplished a lot more than the second one.
Not better than the first by any means, but not a bad sequel.

THE NOSTALGIA CRITIC MADE ME CRRYYYYYY!!!

(The Boomer Will Live Joke made me cry and laugh at the same time. Good to make me feel happily sad)

Did you know that the book that this movie steals it's title from is completely different? (The book is actually a very good read! Not to mention the fact that in the book, Hammon's dead, the company is in chapter 11, and there was NO T-rex romping around downtown San Diego! Boomer lives!) I read Lost World before seeing the movie, and I could not believe the vast changes to the story!

I don't know what was going through Spielberg's mind changing the ENTIRE book into this crap. After doing the first book such great justice, Spielberg took another fantastic book by Michael Crichton and crapped all over it with explosive diarrhea.

Actually the first movie is a lot different than the book. In the book Allan Grant loves children because of their fascination with dinosaurs, the lawyer in the book is actually a likable character who lives, John Hamon is a business man who doesn't learn anything form the events that took place ( even stating that despite all that happened he was going to try again no matter what)and he gets eaten by the little dinosaurs that are in this film. Also, the beginning of this movie is in the first book. Its part of the plot that man can't control nature. This one's also a lot different from the book and ( as mentioned above) even steals things from the first book. The biggest thing is that in the book the Girl isn't Ian's daughter. I have no idea why they thought his character needed one.

Now that I've ranted on about a completely different (and far better) movie, I agree that this movie was a let down. Like many others have said I loved it when I was a kid and it holds a special place in my heart for being one of the few films I remember vividly bouncing in my seat in the theater out of pure excitement.

This thing looks like Schlesinger's List compared to the third one though.

"Schlesinger's List"? Are you f*cking kidding me?

Thank you, ah, Rob, for your, ah ah, Jeff Goldblum ah lessons, but but, why o' why, ah, does Hollywood like to, ah, cash in on, ah ah, popular, ah, franchises. Which as you know ah means...Checkmate!!

Was I the only one who had to rewind that part for Rob's epic "Checkmate!" face?

The boomer joke made my laugh for nearly ten minutes straight - in short, my abs are going to be incredibly sore tomorrow. Thanks :P

That aside, I never really cared for this movie and I'm glad you emphasized how silly and... and just plain stupid all of the characters were.

And Rob's "checkmate" face is going to give me nightmares for at least a week :P

Fabulous review!

P.S. Arnold in "King Lear" - THAT'S GENIUS! WHY DIDN'T THEY MAKE *THAT* MOVIE?!?! I would have watched it! And died laughing... BUT STILL!

When I saw this movie for the first time, I thought it was going to be good because of how they cut the trailer, but nope it was weak.

But the biggest problem I noticed was at times it seemed like the film was missing a few shots or scenes. Like I'd go through that whole sequence with the watch tower falling or something, or no it was the RV, and that hunter guy saves them, but it's like, "Okay am I missing something here? Where'd he come from? What did he do with the dinosaurs.

I don't remember everything, I'm just starting the review in fact. But I definately remember about 3 moments when the film felt like a chunk of the story was missing and we didn't quite know what happened or why.

Meh. The movies wasn't all that bad.
At least I was fairly entertained during it.

But give me the first any day.

But go away Jeff Goldblum.

I also like the whole Jurassic Park trilogy, but I do agree that the sequels arn't like the Star Wars Episodes V and VI of dinosaur films.

Another great review, NC! Keep it up! :D

Honestly, I don't see peopel's issue with this film. yeah, they're all idiots for doing this crap. IAN IS ALWAYS SAYING THIS! He's been the only voice of reason the whole movie! Why does everybody find him annoying? Because he's right all the time? And I don't see the supopsed plot holes, or at least most. Let's take the smell. in the first movie, human was a new scent. in the second, she was covered by the baby's blood. What's more it was raining in the first movie.

Basially, no, it's not nearly as good as the first, but it's not all that bad of a movie, at al. There's issues, and a few forced bits and plot holes, like maybe the T-rex being lower, (Though I always explained that by the fact that the path is curvy) so no, it's not as good as the first, but I've always had an issue seeing peopel's issues with it. i think, personally, It's just that people were so mad it wasn't as good as the first that they instinctively think it's even worse than it is.

>>Honestly, I don't see peopel's issue with this film. yeah, they're all idiots for doing this crap. IAN IS ALWAYS SAYING THIS! He's been the only voice of reason the whole movie! Why does everybody find him annoying? >>

Because he and his friends were the only reason any people died in this movie?

I actually like all 3 Jurassic Park films equally, and I don’t call the sequels terrible, just not on par with the first film. Besides, “The Lost World” has an average rating on IMDB.

Nice Goldblum impression, Rob. =) Also, I too was thinking of SNL Celebrity Jeopardy with Jeff Goldblum played by Molder from X-Files.

Doug, If you have a problem with continuity, tell it the author of the books on which the films are based on. …Wait.

I find it sad that outsiders would capture these creature for their own personal game.

23:01- Thank you, Vince Vohn.

That was a pretty good “Transformers” joke.

Here’s my recommendations of film’s you might like to review:
Wild Wild West (Wildly stupid, but Will Smith kicks ass.)
Leonard Part 6 (The worst Bill Cosby film EVER.)
Baby Geniuses (I wonder if a baby directed this, because it would make too much sense.)
Mac and Me (aka, E.T. rip-off.)
It’s Pat (No, it’s crap.)
Going Overboard (which is also the action audiences did after seeing this film.)
Stargate (I’m have nothing against this film, but I would be interested to know how you feel about a film where the ruler of the known universe is played by the chick with the dick from “The Crying Game.”)

Check out his Godzilla review, he didn't like Stargate. But I agree, for that reason it deserves a review. I liked Stargate though.

Actually, Phelous already did a review of "Mac & Me" here. I think it was his first review, or at least one of his first. I highly recommend checking it out.

I will deffinately watch Phelous' review on "Mac and Me." Thanks, SlyDante. =)

You can send NC review requests, no need to post in the comments section. ut heard it was terrible. And I emailed him a request to review Mac and Me a while back, I do hope he does it. , that NC HAD to review it XD )

If "hey you" works on the raptor, doesn't that mean it speaks English?

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.

Seriously, I think the raptor suddenly realized there was another human to eat when it heard her talk.

Him putting his hand on broken glass if it was made of the same type of glass as every other windshield after about the 80s because it breaks in large non sharp blades.

How is it that Hollywood always manages to screw up Michael Crichton Movies? The only good ones are The Andromeda Strain, The Great Train Robbery, and Jurassic Park, and TGTR was directed by Crichton himself.

And don't get me started on Timeline, which is the worst abomination of them all despite being based on one of his best books.

Oh, and why was Hammond saying the dinosaurs need to be left alone so they can survive? He should have been demanding that someone drop a nuke on that island.

ummm crichton wrote this script and number one sooooooo you might want to get that checked
but you are right on timeline

Actually it was David Koepp who wrote both scripts. He really departed from the original story for both of them, but at least in the first it was still good.

well both of us are right crichton and koepp were both the co writers so while trying to get my point across you found the loop hole in the argument... :( but hey at least 4 should be comming out soon

Dude! Critic, I hope that was just a joke about the "T-Rex being the ancestors of the mosquito" because lizards do not evolve into mosquitoes. Evolution is not that retarded.

The mosquito in the beginning of "Jurassic Park" had SUCKED the blood of a T-REX, so the scientists were able to extract the DNA and clone the dinosaurs. Plus that was an ancient mosquito from the dinosaur time period.

Dinosaurs evolved into birds, if you want to be technical.

That's what he WAS going with - the fact that the blood sucked by the mosquito was the basis for the dinosaurs' "screwed-up genes" because the genetic strain was incomplete and needed patching; the joke wasn't that dinosaurs evolved into mosquitoes.

It may have been worded odd, but he was definitely aware of that. You're right, though - evolution is definitely not that retarded. XD That would be a hilarious parody, though...

No they didn't, the mosquito sucked the blood out of a dinosaur and was stuck in the sap of a tree and was trapped into something called Amber. Where inGen took the D.N.A and patch the D.N.A gaps with the D.N.A of a frog. And thats how they made a dinosaur.

I feel the need to point out that part of the reason this film sucked as hard as it did was that it was a half-assed fixit for the first one. In the book there were several really awesome action sequences that just never happen in the film. And they proceeded to make two truly bad sequels in an effort to get them on film. Not to mention the story elements they entailed...
And he's not just a scientist who can't count, he's a mathematician.
But I'm a huge geek and I'm shutting up now.

The only thing this world lost was story.

And the ability to count.

And logic

You showed the scene with the little girl and the dinosaurs and you didn't even show that clip with Siskel saying he'd never allow his child to do that?

Oh well, I guess since I was expecting it, it would have been predictable.

A most excellent review! I had no idea the characters in this were such assholes/dumbasses. When I watched this as a kid, one scene really scared me; one guy, who looked like the Blue Power Ranger, got eaten. I mean, if the Power Rangers can't save you, who can?!

Not to sound like a certain Douchey McNitpick, but i believe the reason Jeff Goldblum says 3 people died is because (i assume) Dr. Saddler told him about Muldoon and Mr. Arnold, and well even though he was buried in bathroom debris he was two feet from the T-rex eating the lawyer. my guess is that he wasn't informed or just forgot about random wrangler guy #234 at the beginning of the first movie, and well none of them know about Dennis being eaten (which is irony at its best)

i can tell you who can save you in two words........wait for it.....wait for it.....CHUCK NORRIS! (Insert NC's Chuck Norris Cry)

Wrong! Chuck Norris wouldn't fight the dinosaur; he'd just ride it.

He didn't say Chuck would fight it. I think Chuck would ride it away. He can be a Dino-Rider WITHOUT an AMP necklace. Um... it sounded cooler in my mind.

So...Rob isn't a dinosaur.. would have made sense if he were a dinosaur for this review :D

Oh wait saw past the credits.. nice to see you again dino rob!