Dungeons and Dragons

(664 votes, average 4.85 out of 5)

Title card by special guest artist, Patrick Rodriguez. He takes commissions! Check out his DeviantArt profile: http://pyrotech07.deviantart.com/

Comments (656)
  • DarkMessiah
    avatar
    Yes he did, and so did I (though I haven't posted it on this site). The great thing about this movie and Neverending Story 3? Several people can review these movies and find new material each time. These two movies are comedic gold.
  • killbill13
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    its a play on the Simpsons did it. i don't really believe only one person can review a movie
  • DarkMessiah
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    I kinda figured that. :P The hard part is determining how serious or not-serious you were about it. As a first comment, it comes off as kinda douchey. Hence the multiple down votes.
  • Basilisk1991  - Use /joke
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    As the title says when your joking use /joke this isn't youtube, a joke can really seem douchey at times, anyway great vid.
  • mrrubino
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    Holy damn, who is this unfunny fat comedienne who sold out to hock snack crackers and why won't she stop rambling for minutes on end after the video finishes?
  • Dwane
    I don't think she's a real comedienne. I think she's just some actress who's supposed to be playing a comedienne. The commercial's writers are also clearly not in possession of any form of comedic talent. Just do what I do: hit the mute button after the video finishes.
  • FredexAscendant
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    i think you guys mean comedian, but i digress she really is quite bad
  • Kryss LaBryn
    "Comedienne" is the feminine version of "comedian." It's like actor/actress. :-)

    And yeah, SO not funny.
  • Morgoth Bauglir
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    Well, it's so generic a line, that it couldv'e meant anything.
  • HorrorMovie Critic  - huh?
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    did someone else on the site reviw neverending story 3 before the critic?
  • Scott
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    DW? You mean the distressed Watcher?
    I can't.... stand that guy the .... way he unnaturally. .. .pauses ... and moves in and... out from the ... camera.
  • TheBrigeedaRocks
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    I watched his first (and I think only) episode of Trailer Failure, and it was more than enough to create a strong dislike for all things Distressed Watcher.

    As for the review, did anyone else say "Holy crap, the dwarf is Pintel from the Pirates movies?"

    And that's their attempt at sequel baiting? Going on a quest to find Snail-on Wayans again? No thank you. No thank you forever.
  • SkullCap  - Y'know what else?
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    Spoony reviewed it.

    Have a coke and a smile and be quiet.
  • Virgil_theBadassPoet
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    DW cannot compare with The Critic. Spoony can, but that doesn't mean Doug doesn't deserve a shot at reviewing this.
  • Batman347
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    Spoony? Give me a break.
  • SciFiGi  - Right on.
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    Spoony did do it. The Distressed Whiner did it after him and Doug owns the site, so how about everyone shut up.
    Also...it is not surprising that a DW fan would sound like a whiney youtuber.
  • gardengxc
    TJ is a hack.
  • Squeejee
    Wow, this guy got a HUGE downvote. Don't hate the first just because he didn't say "first" like a douche!
  • darkmindedsith
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    Yes, but his comment was still pretty pointless.
  • DaBird
    well yours was too. AND I KNOW mine by responding to you is also pointless. Bur can ya blame me? I'm bored.
  • Squeejee
    And then the pointlessness folded in on itself into a black hole :P

    Seriously, don't be a douche.
  • Goliath__18
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    this comment is pointless
  • Gethenian
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    As we say here in DC, "BFD."
  • trlkly
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    And they had only 3 jokes in common.
  • REBELComx  - To quote Satan...
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    Well dammit, what didn't Diddy do?!

    But also... how about reviewing the TV show? You can get the full series on Amazon for like 8 bucks. They should have made a movie out of THAT!
  • Shiradori
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    I can't believe I used to WATCH the D&D cartoon, but I watched anything CBS threw at me, including "Dink the Little Dinosaur" and the "Bill & Ted" cartoon.
  • Annie-Mae
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    This was essentially my comment when I saw the title. I liked his review of this movie as well and to some extent I like the Distressed Watcher better then the NC. At least when the DW was told that he made a mistake about the hero's being the only ones dressed up in black robe he corrected it (there were at least 5 other people in that scene with black robes).

    Funny review from NC though.
  • mrrubino
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    Indeed. The difference here is that Douchey McOverused will probably appear in the next video to show us again what Doug thinks of people correcting simple and easily-correctable mistakes.
  • Dreadwing
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    Douchey's appeared in a total of, I think, three episodes, and that's if you count the Christmas episode from last year. As for that being "how he thinks of people who correct him", I doubt it. It seems to be making fun of people who are so pissed off by any mistakes that he makes that it takes away from their enjoyment of the rest of the review.
  • mrrubino
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    With Linkara and Chick using him recently, I'm waiting for the inevitable. He's the new crossover character.
  • Dreadwing
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    Fair enough about the other uses of Douchey (I don't follow NChick or Linkara that closely so I don't always know these little details about them) but you dodged my point about who the character is. He's a caricature, not a mockery of the fans. He represents the backlash of repeated corrections that overshadow any feedback about the review itself, only exaggerated for the sake of comedy. I seriously doubt he was meant to be offensive to the fans (and really, if you feel the portrayal of Douchey is offensive *to you*... you may want to think about what that implies) and so long as he doesn't become a overly used running gag, I can't see too much harm in his occasional presence.
  • mrrubino
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    Yeah, I was waiting for the "douchey is you i bet hurr hurr". Even when the fuck-up was something apparently-obvious that gets a few thousand replies in the comments section like dolphins punching or Jim Cummings as Scar, I've never seen anything except short and polite corrections. The only reason these end up "overshadowing" the other comments is the fact noone seems to read the other comments before they post.

    The Mako thing I can understand though. 12 year olds can get pretty rabid over Avatar.
  • Dreadwing
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    Now wait a second, I never accused you of being Douchey incarnate. I simply asked you to consider what it *implies* when you get that upset over his use of McNitpick. I don't believe it's true.

    In any case, again, I don't think that's what NC really thinks about his audience. If he really thought you guys were that pathetic, I doubt he'd even make a Fuckups video. Instead, he devotes an entire episode (two, even, so far) in which he answers our corrections, comments, etc. Most of the time, it's essentially beating himself up. I'm fairly certain Douchey is just a silly gag to make us laugh because, let's face it, we all know someone like that, even if it's just online.
  • Lucia32
    "I've never seen anything except short and polite corrections."

    My suggestion? Look again.

    Some people here get really rude when something isn't just the way they want it or is just a bit off. We're talking forum troll level venom.
  • Jord68  - O-o
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    Me thinks mrrubino is a tad blind. ive seen sooooo many rude comments on this site for minor inaccuracies
  • JohanTW
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    Best review in a looooong while, I laughed really hard at times! :D
  • Marshmallowcreampie
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    Who is DW? What does he have to do with this review? I'M SO CONFUSED!

    Uh, anyway... I clicked this, expecting a review of the cartoon (which I'd like NC to review someday XD ) 'cause I didn't even know there was a movie. But this review was funny, as always. XD
  • Asuka Soryu
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    he's a member of this site. He previously reviewed this movie.
  • Nitrinoxus
    Doctor Who doesn't really have anything to do with this film, beyond the fact that Tom Baker, the Healer elf in Dungeons and Dragons, played the Fourth Doctor in the TV series Doctor Who.
  • forsaken7089
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    Problem is all this movie did was rip off everything else in sight, such as the Indiana Jones scenes and any movie ever made that had cheesy sword fight scenes.(Such as the sword fight scenes in Army of Darkness. Least that movie was funny.) Only NEW thing this shit offered at the time was a large scale fight between dragons, and that does little to make up for it all. The plot is lackluster and the characters are either annoying or completely flat. There's no reason for anyone to care. The movie got swept under the rug shortly after its release, and that's where it belongs.

    The worst part is the name. It has next to nothing to relate to actual Dungeons and Dragons. These games were about dungeons FULL of monsters trying to kill you. Not just a Human vs Human battle with a few other races and some completely monsterLESS Indiana Jone raiding rip offs. You don't even have to play a DnD game to know that they are completely off with this movie. The name is a total rip off. Call it something else if you aren't even going to try to be loyal. The movie Eragon wasn't named Dungeons and Dragons. Imagine if it was. It could have been, couldn't it? It probably would have been, lol, if it wasn't already used for this shit.
  • doctortanksano  - intresting....
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    hmm map sex eh...mabye i should try that HEY ZOEY!! (a different zoey not the actress in the movie) GET YOUR TAIL OVER HERE AND STICK YOUR HEAD IN THIS MAP!!!
  • BDRook  - Nice Review
    Epic review as always NC
  • dissy
    Someone accidentally threw him in with the wrong load of laundry.
  • KingGramJohnson  - Thththth!
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    Jeremy Irons rocks! He's so over the top that I love him...in everything!
  • Virgil_theBadassPoet
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    This movie rolled a 20 in FAILURE!! Yeah, I haven't been playing this game for very long and actually don't like it very much. So, I can't really tell how accurate this movie is to the STORY of a game, but it is nothing like the experience. Yes, the experience of sorting through sheets and SHEETS of superfluous stats while abiding by rules governed with a 20-sided die. Although to be fair, the game doesn't have any dragons either. Anyway, I can say, without doubt or irony, that I did not see this review coming. But it was awesome.
  • Squeejee
    It sounds to me like you had a bad experience with the game - in my D&D games, most players need only a single sheet and there are dragons and dungeons abound. In a well run game it's easy to forget that you are abiding by any rules at all and just roleplay - they flow so naturally after a time that it becomes second nature.
  • Virgil_theBadassPoet
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    Oh there are plenty of dungeons. Dragons are practically nonexistant though. As is any sense of freedom in what your character can do.

    "You rolled a 1"
    "What does that mean?"
    "Your character did not see a ledge coming and fell into the crevasse."
    "But he has a +9 in Spot"
    "Doesn't matter, it was a 'natural 1'."
    "Well can't he jump over it?"
    "No, your character doesn't have the Jump skill."
    "-_-........WTF!?!"

    I'm only playing the game because my friends are as well as my much more popular cousin. I really REALLY don't like it. It's a shame too because I'm a fantasy writer and thought this would help me and in a sense it has...with character development. The game itself is not fun and feels like a chore to play. That's different than this review, which turned a crappy movie into a crowning moment of awesome.
  • cyber95
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    Your DM sounds like a dick if he has you just die from a single failed spot. I think the problem here is not the game, but the guy running the game.
  • Kraktzor
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    Yeah, bad DM. The DM makes or breaks any game.
  • TLUniverse
    There's your problem. Your DM sucks at running the game. And besides - you cannot critically succeed or fail on skill checks, Jump is a basic skill that everyone has access to, and falling from a ledge calls for a Reflex save of DC10. Poor gaming... poor gaming indeed...

    I'm a big fan of D&D 3.5 and Pathfinder. But if role-playing is not your thing, a great tool for story-writing inspiration can be made with the GamesWorkshop board game "Talisman." That game gets intense as you approach the end.
  • Lucia32
    Dear Virgil,

    I know you've gotten this alot but it sounds the problem isn't the game it's your DM. When the host of the game is lackluster, the expierience suffers greatly.

    Can I make a suggestion? Give the game another chance with another group.

    Or if that's asking too much, why not try a another fantasy RPG (or you could even try a different genre all together!).

    I'm sorry if my fellow gamers and I seem to be piling on you, but I think it all stems from the fact that most of us had at least one bad experience with a less than fantastic DM. We all went through something similar to you, but then we found the right DM in the right session in the right time which made us fall in love with table top roleplaying.

    So come on! Give it another chance with another group. I'm sure your local comic/game/card shop will be glad to help you find what you need.

    If not, that's okay too. RPGs aren't for everyone. I just don't want you to miss out on the fun because of a few bad sessions.
  • SanJ922  - Are we worth saving?
    avatar
    For real, Tom Baker is the ONLY good thing about this movie!
  • AncientRelic  - Well there are 2 good things
    I mean, Richard O'Brien is also a fun cameo, just loved how he played it over the top. But beyond that, you're scraping through the bottom of the barrel to the dirt underneath.
  • TheDued92
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    I saw this movie as a kid in the theaters. I want those hours back.
  • kamunt  - Derp
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    Oh God...thank you, Doug. D&D actually IS kinda fun to me...but not like this. This isn't fun. To me, anyway. This is...an abortion.
  • DarkMessiah
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    Yeah, so I totally used this movie as my first review for my site, but I have to admit, yours was 100000 times better. Very funny and the jokes were spot on.

    And yeah, the Jeremy Irons vs Thora Birch was hilarious. Thora Birch's acting is so painfully dull, it's like French kissing a cardboard box - no matter how you look at it, it's wrong and leaves a funny aftertaste in your mouth.
  • xXMaJoRxSnIpEzXx  - A Dungeons and Dragons movie, eh?
    Never heard of it. Probably a good thing ;) Seriously, what's next? A Pacman movie?
  • TheAngryAnimeAddict
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    OMG The clucking joke made me laugh so hard I think I shit my pants (like Jeremy Irons)

    Not to mention you lipsyncing Belle's song was just.... Win!
  • Scott
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    Never underestimate the power of killing the black comic relief.
  • Bullderdash
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    Yes, insisting she needed a feeblemind spell to find Ridly and snails attractive, is a snap. Perhaps even a zing, if you want to get down to it. Roll Vs wit, DC 20
  • Crossover Princess
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    What's with the lip stick... really? On a guy no less... it's really weird... And it's blue! What man wears blue lip stick!
  • SpeedyEric
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    I was wondering if someone on TGWTG would review the D&D movie, but I thought that someone would be our friendly neighborhood Nostalgia Critic. I always thought it would be Spoony.

    3:15- Why is he wearing Ichiban, lipstick for men?

    Doug, I think you found the one movie that can overload the “I’m acting”-ometer a million times over.

    I have so many questions for this movie, like …WHO THE HELL WAS DOING THE CASTING FOR THIS MOVIE!? WHO THE HELL DIRECTED THIS MOVIE!? WHO THE HELL WROTE THE SCRIPT FOR THIS MOVIE!? DOES ANYTHING IN THIS FILM HAVE TO DO WITH D&D!? IS THIS FILM SET IN THE PAST, THE PRESENT, AN AMALGAMATION OF BOTH, OR ANOTHER DIMENTION!?
    EXPLAIN, MOVIE! EXPLAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNN!!!! !

    The purple guy with the third eye reminds me of Despero from the DC Universe.

    This film insults me with the Indiana Jones style booby-traps, because the Indiana Jones film series are one of my favorite film series of all time.
    15:05- o_O

    21:19- I think she means “IT WAS A LIFE!”

    I think Jeremy Irons would have done better in this film if it was a comedy like “Spaceballs.” I also agree that Profion might be the father of Dr. Insano.

    Aside from my nitpicking, I might see this film from start to finish some time. It would also be good for a bad movie party.
  • gardengxc
    snoopy did review it and he did a better job then Doug but then again he actually plays.
    http:// spoonyexperiment.com/ dungeons-and-dragons/
  • ThatKidWhoHasNoGlasses  - Best Day Ever...
    avatar
    1. New NC Review
    2. Got a Snow Day for Wednesday

    Also, cant help but think SCAR is dubbing over that evil guy's voice.
  • Black MAYUHN
    I can't wait till the World of Warcraft movie
  • Jackass Mask
    Oh yes, the stupendously bad movie "Dungeons and Dragons." Makes me laugh everytime I see it.

    When it comes to the overacting vs underacting, I give it to the overacter everytime. They are the reason we can laugh. I seriously keep forgetting about the empress all the time, but Jeremy Irons I just can't forget. When he's good, he's awesome. When he overacts, he's unforgettable.

    The only other actor I can say the same about is John Malkovich. Never has there been an actor the suffered so much for his stone.
  • mumbls  - malkovichmalkovich irons
    avatar
    then you must love "The Man in the Iron Mask" which features both actors as well as a Fresh-off-TITANIC Leonardo DiCaprio
  • CheeseoftheApocalypse
    DW... I can't stand that guy because he makes stupid arguments that aren't even able to be supported
  • Krisz
    Like your Momma
  • TomQuoVadis
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    Obviously he should have made a 5-page, double-spaced, 12-point font essay about why he thinks that, instead of just voicing his opinion...
  • SuccubusYuri
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    It's most unfortunate that as soon as you made a crack about Jeremy Irons I thought "Yeah but he can be good...like in Lolita", then he started making sex faces *smack* I was totally waiting for a snide commne tat "Is now not the time we should act?" "No, apparently not"

    And, Watcher made a black cloaks joke too and he caught hell for it. Waiting for Douchey McNitpick to make an appearance XD

    Snails dying was really a "meh" moment for me, but the over the top "Nooo" is what made it truly funny. I'm just grateful he didn't roll a new level 1 to join the party again.

    Best nickname: Joan of LARP. Easily.
  • edjr1980
    avatar
    OMFG. I'd rather watch Care Bears II.
  • BurningBusch86
    I was just thinking today how I wished NC would review this
  • OniQ  - We need more board game movies
    avatar
    Oh god, laughing so hard XD This Movie was bad, like why was the dwarf in the movie? He was there for like five minutes and then went invisible for the rest of the movie.

    Zooey still had some of a career after this movie.
  • DarkMessiah
    avatar
    I can see it now - Monopoly: Parking Isn't Free
  • mumbls
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    love the avatar
  • ThatKidWhoHasNoGlasses  - The Dwarf...
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    Havn't finished watching but the dwarf is the guy from Pirates of the Caribbean. The small fat guy and the tall skinny guy duo from POC. He's always saying poppet and parlay (or pollay).Not gunna bother IMDB'ing him, you either have seen POC or not, although i can't imagine anyone not seeing POC. POC,POC,POC, poppet.
  • ZUUUUUUUUL
    I can't believe you didn't do an 'Ichiban: Lipstick for Men' joke with that blue-lipped guy
  • SpeedyEric
    avatar
    At least you and I talked about Ichiban in our comments. =)
  • Taufiq91
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    I just love Jeremy Irons' overacting here. Everything he says in D&D sounds like a 50 Year Old trying to do a bad Kamina impersonation.

    Also, why tom Baker? Why?
  • ggbhtg
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    ...I wanna watch this crap.

    Also, I can't believe they didn't explain Mr. Blue Man Group wannabe over there.
  • brick mooncode
    avatar
    There's a dragon rod in my dungeon, and everyone's LARPing!
  • GamerGeex
    avatar
    So at 11:09 we get the inspiration for the "It's not the LASH that they fear" scene in 300 with Xerxes groping Leonidas?

    And call Spoony! The deadly "Floor" of Ultima III: Exodus comes back at 17:26!
  • Animikean
    avatar
    Or the carpet from "Ghost Dad"

    why oh why do I remember that?
  • Mikemaniax  - TOM BAKER NO!!!!!!!!!
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    Love the Doctor Who joke!

    Great review as always Doug.
  • janplanet1
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    i hated this movie because i loved the game.it sucks and the sequel is even worse.loved the review nc as always!
  • DarkMessiah
    avatar
    The sequel is forbidden discussion in the D&D world. At least with this film, we can laugh and joke around the table. But with the sequel? No.

    Just... no.
  • Cameron Winter
    The sequal still gives me nightmares about how awful it was. Its didn't even have the cheese factor, it was JUST.SO.SHITE
  • Bullmansam85  - Sequel
    Well at least with the sequel they keep to mechanics and it was better written than this one. I actually got upset when a main character died.
  • Lucia32
    Because somehow this tripe made enough money. That's why.
  • Dierna
    avatar
    Cuz SyFy wanted it? At least Domodar didn't have blue lipstick...course he was basically a zombie. :P
  • Evil Betty
    avatar
    Wow, now I feel strange for actually liking the sequel. I thought it felt a lot more true to the mechanics of the D&D universe and the overall flavor of a game.

    But then again, I loved Damodar's overacting cheesiness. So I guess I'm just weird that way.
  • TLUniverse
    I felt that the sequel was better. It got rid of some dumbass characters from the first film (by setting the events 100 years later) and replaced them with a group that resembled a "party of adventurers." The story seemed more like a module being run, with the movie even referencing two other actual campaign modules. Giving the players identifiable equipment and spells made the experience of watching it more enjoyable. I liked that the actors "got in character" by having to read the Player's Handbook before shooting, so that way they understand their character's class and alignment. That was all spot-on, blemished only by the shitastic low budget, poor CGI, and the return of Damodar as a villain who sits in his castle like a cartoon nemesis watching the events unfold. I wouldn't call it worse than the first.

    Two little goodies with the DVD. Character sheets of the cast, and that Drow chick in the behind-the-scenes segment.
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