Care Bears 2
Tuesday, 25 January 2011 21:33
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Comments (518)
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01.25.2011 - 21:49 | TheAngryAnimeAddict
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01.26.2011 - 02:56 | kaykeyser
the same thing happens to me a lot with movies, games, TV shows, Paw, Linkara. The less I expect of a thing the better I enjoy it when its good. the more I expect from a thing the more I hate it when its bad. Its why we got disappointed by George Lucas so often in these resent years. its why I enjoy Linkara. its all about putting your emptions so lw that even a litle raise up makes you happy and putting the hype so high that any small mistake crushes us and we nit pick it. For me the idea of Linkara reviewing comic books, a non-motion medium sounded dreadfully uninteresting, so I set the bar low and when he was actuly funy the surpise made him all the more great. and in Star wars and Indiana Jones we get so hyped by every thing that when a few small mistakes happen we get so let down that sudenly it becomes the worst mopvie ever.
I forget who said it, but there is truth to "Exspect the worst and when it doesn't happen your pleasently surpised and when the worst does happen your ready for it, but exspect the best and your crushed when you don't get it." or some thing like that.
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01.26.2011 - 15:52 | Marshmallowcreampie
Wasn't that quote more along the lines of "I'm a pessimist, so I'm either always right or pleasantly surprised"? I forget.
On this movie... Was I the only one who was REALLY annoyed that the Care-Horse looked nothing like a horse? I myself have a hard time drawing horses (THEY'RE SO FUCKING HARD TO DRAW!!!!!) but at least they still look like horses. The one in this movie didn't even have hooves. Ugh.
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01.28.2011 - 17:01 | Arike475Thats a Hard One, Care Bears Or Twilight?
which one is worse?
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01.29.2011 - 17:00 | Fangheart
Twilight, because that shit storm is actually intended for people above the age of 2.
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02.11.2011 - 05:40 | LikaLaruku
Lol, Care Bears also has better music XD
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03.05.2012 - 20:18 | ThePinkKirby
The horse thing also bothered me. I'm pretty sure that in my childhood I had no idea that it was a horse. (I probably just thought it was some sort of... I don't know, dog or something.)
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As for the reason why they never questioned why a talking colorful bear is interacting with them.....I would have to say John and Dawn probably passed a patch of manijuana on the way into the woods.
I am looking forward to his commentary on Care Bears movie 2.
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01.26.2011 - 13:40 | ladydisketteThis was so great! :D Granted its one of my favorite movies, but he addresses all the not-so-subtle flaws in the movie very well that I just can't help but laugh.
And Sage as the devil....awesome!
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01.26.2011 - 16:12 | Sonicrose
Yeah, I saw this movie in THEATERS when I was like 3 years old and loved it. It has not aged as well as the original and yes both movies have GLARING plotholes.
But yes, I still hold a lot of affection for it and I'm glad I'm not the only one who acknowledges the flaws. And that doesn't even get into the animation flubs
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01.26.2011 - 17:07 | ThatDudeInTheUshanka
Are you praising or criticizing him?
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01.27.2011 - 08:58 | Madara XIII
I couldn't stop laughing at the bag either! I mean seriously, A BAG!?!?
It's not like it's a huge threat.....
OHMYGOD-A-BAG!!! *Thump*
X_X
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01.27.2011 - 18:00 | TheAmazingNonSequiter
Goddamn bags! when will their tyranny end????
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01.28.2011 - 13:53 | ladydiskette"Taste the holy rainbow of awesomeness motherfuckers!" lol I am making that my sig for the forum.
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yea...that was about the time when i laughed too. OMG A BAG! *thump* lolz xD hehe...makes me giggle just thinkin about it ;3
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Awesome job critic! Love it! I had managed to wipe memories of this movie from my memory. However your review brought them all back in a flood of white tummies and rainbows. I'll have to go watch the Neverending Story review again to remind myself that there are worse movies in the world.
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01.25.2011 - 21:40 | soaresandreOMG this movie suuuucked when i was young and untill today --' a bag?? really? tafak?
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01.26.2011 - 00:42 | REVIEWER RICK
Hay you finally got around to the one were they bring the dead back to life.
Great review!
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Strangely, that's pretty much how the climax of Pokémon: the First Movie turned out: Ash got killed trying to stop Mew and Mewtwo's senseless fighting, then was revived by the other Pokémon's tears when they realized they cared. It was probably less confusing in the Japanese version.
I'm still a die-hard fan, and I guess I always will be.
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01.26.2011 - 15:55 | MarshmallowcreampieIt did make a little more sense in the Japanese version. In a scene that was taken out of the English version (because it portrayed human cloning) there's this little clone girl who tells baby Mewtwo that Pokemon tears are magic and have life or some bullshit. While that movie was bad, I have to admit, that was a pretty heartbreaking (and dark!) scene. Totally should've been kept in the English dub.
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01.27.2011 - 17:31 | cyber95
That bit was a bonus feature on the VHS release, I believe, actually. Anyways, while that scene wasn't in the movie, near the beginning the idea that pokemon tears can theoretically bring somebody back to life, but that was probably ignored in the review for comedic value. I think it was a Nurse Joy who said it.
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01.27.2011 - 21:21 | TheAngryAnimeAddictI agree with that. It would of added more to the story. Instead all we got was that blue haired weather lady saying one line, something along the lines of a legend about the storm and pokemon tears. You blink and you miss it.
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01.27.2011 - 19:54 | RovladWeaboos smell funny.
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02.28.2011 - 02:29 | SherandaHuh?
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04.19.2011 - 20:42 | SherandaOh! I get it now! Sort of. I now know what a weaboo is.
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Dark Heart scared the crap out of me when I was a kid. I saw this movie before the first one and the shapeshifting demon always scared me...until they broke the 4th wall. Even when I was 4 something seemed off about that. Also, epic Metroid reference is EPIC!
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01.25.2011 - 23:32 | axlryder
screw dark heart, that star is scary as fuck.
Seriously, that thing has a major case of rape face.
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01.26.2011 - 05:50 | TheAmazingNonSequiterRape Face would be an awesome name for a villain, actually.
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01.26.2011 - 06:22 | Chron121
I would watch a carebears movie if the villan's name was Rapeface.
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01.26.2011 - 11:24 | TheAmazingNonSequiterHis evil minion would be rophy-lynn.
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01.29.2011 - 15:43 | LadyEpic
His face reminds me of that creepy old man from the first care bears movie.
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01.26.2011 - 17:13 | Madara XIIIIndeed. I can see how Dark Heart can be scary to children. However I think God cured my phobia.
God:"God has you Carebears. Taste the holy rainbow of awesomeness motherf***ers! Taste the holy rainbow of awesomeness"
XD I haven't laughed that hard since his first Carebears movie
"Taste the rainbow motherf***er!"
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01.26.2011 - 17:34 | TheAmazingNonSequiterI know, it's so memetastic.
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02.11.2011 - 05:43 | LikaLarukuI think I had a crush on Dark Heart when I was little. Then again, I also had a crush on Boy George, Milli Vanilli, Micheal Jackson, Prince, & Adam Ant >_>
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02.28.2011 - 02:37 | SherandaAdam Ant? Really? Well, I'm not judging you.
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01.25.2011 - 21:41 | SNES guy
I have been waiting for this ever since the first review
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01.25.2011 - 21:44 | Tardischick88
You're right... as crappy as the first one was, this sequel made absolutely no freaking sense! It was crap!
The review was great though. Nice touch with Sage.
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01.26.2011 - 01:36 | SherandaFor me, the Sage part didn't really work, but that's just me.
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01.26.2011 - 04:10 | CrimsonMoonMistI thought so too, at least until the end,
where it all suddenly seemed to fit.
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This was a great review! I love the Star Trek TNG reference! And why in the world did Dark Heaaaart want to save the girl all of a sudden? Did he like fall in love with her or something? And how did all the evil leave him because he suddenly cared for her? Does this mean Satan himself can become good if we can get him to care?!
Anad Dark Heaaaart/Godfather reference was great too!
Oh, and that Wise Men following the wrong star literally made me laugh out loud!
Oh, and I DO believe in Santa Christ. Speaking of which, why didn't you ask HIM to erase your memory for you? Cause he could have done it for free, for real, and you would have gotten a Sega Genesis out of the deal too.
Great review, Doug, and a good end to Sequel Month!
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Yeah! hahaha I really enjoyed this review.
Awww my favorite was DarkHeart He was probably the best character in this movie.
At least in my opinion.
LOL it was bullshit that he didn't kiss her I WANTED HIM TO KISS HER, DAMMIT!!
LOL I don't know if we could ever get Satan to care his pride is too great, but hell who knows?
And the reference to Twilight when Krista was riding Dark Heart as a wolf. XD LOL NO this shit is more butch compared to fucking Twilight
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It's probably good for your health. Although I did enjoy that hilarious theme song, I am looking forward to future reviews.
I knew this review would be awesome as soon as you butchered the first scene. It's a sequel, no, it's a prequel, no, the backgrounds are entirely wrong and the setting makes no sense whatsoever.
5/5
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01.25.2011 - 21:47 | MattHattNo ;_;.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
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01.25.2011 - 21:49 | Johnny Gan and Pongo
Augh!!! No!!! This Can't be! #2?! The parents suicide rate has surely gone up now... okay, that was dark.
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01.25.2011 - 21:52 | WarfokiFitting cameo for Sage. :D And this "cry you back to life" thing is really irritating. Both here and in the Pokemon movie. What's the point? If one's dead, then crying won't get him back. What on Earth want this to teach to the kids, who are watching this shit? As for the movie itself: it's intolerably, disgustingly cute. Really, they should make a Hello Kitty Care Bear. Oh, wait...
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01.25.2011 - 21:53 | TheDued92
If only the Care Bears didn't care about making a sequel.
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01.26.2011 - 01:39 | SherandaOr if they cared enough to make it watchable.
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01.28.2011 - 14:23 | ladydisketteYou know the two movies could have been salvagable if they made this movie the first one, and then made the first movie the sequel, at least it would have made things less confusing.
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At 5:45 the eyes of the lil' native american/totem pole type thing blink. Am i the only one that noticed that. How did NC not pick up on that, o yeah, that's right, he was too busy clawing at his eyes because of this ridiculous movie.
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01.26.2011 - 02:24 | khadgar64It's not shown in the review, but Trueheart Bear is hiding from the kids inside the totem pole.
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01.25.2011 - 21:55 | Joker Jr.
Ah...no Tinkerbell reference at 19:00?
Oh, well.
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Wow, that villain looks awsome, mabe this movie wont blow after a... what... whats his name?... Darkheart? SHIT!
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01.25.2011 - 21:58 | Hidden_Wolf
The sad thing is.. I used to love the Care Bears when I was little. ;_; Dear god did this movie ruin it.
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01.25.2011 - 22:04 | invaderzim12
lolololololololololololol ololololol
santa christ was a great ending
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01.25.2011 - 22:05 | Notsoretrogamer
ssssssssssssaaaaaaaaaannn nnnnnnttttttttaaaaaa ccccccrrrriiiiiiissttt!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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01.25.2011 - 22:08 | draider90
Gonna miss sequel month
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06.28.2011 - 22:13 | SherandaI won't. Even after failing to give us a decent review for the whole of December, NC doesn't deserve to be tortured this much. I forgive you, Critic. Now, go back to reviewing Christmas specials! Or, do another review of Rover Dangerfield that actually acknowledges the few good parts! Like the animation.
Don't act like it was completely horrible! I know it wasn't! It was bad, but not bad enough to be on par with Biodome!!
I'm sorry. That was meant to be shorter and more relevant to what draider90 said.
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06.28.2011 - 22:22 | SherandaOh! You could make next January COMMERCIAL MONTH!!! Imagine four weeks of reviewing nostalgic commercials! Would... that be okay? I know some commenters are annoyed by commercial specials. Don't know why. Didn't we all watch commercials growing up in the 1980-90s?
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01.25.2011 - 22:08 | Matiaxx89
Taste the RAINBOW MOTHER FUCKER!!! I am Sorry but I just had to let it out..
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01.26.2011 - 00:48 | rageofkyubii
TASTE THE HOLY RAINBOW OF AWESOMENESS, MOTHERFUCKER!
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01.26.2011 - 19:14 | Madara XIIIIt's all gravy! So much win in this review I can't contain it all into words
"Hey this is alot like those Twilight mov-"
"NO It's NOT!! WE'RE BUTCH COMPARED TO THAT SHIT!"
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01.25.2011 - 22:09 | tony1z
I'm still convinced that little miss gamer is the devil, no one would expect it because she seems like a nice, innocent person, plus her subtle methods would actually work out considering no one would expect a little miss gamer fan to do harm on another. They're like walmart greeters
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01.26.2011 - 01:41 | SherandaWho is Little Miss Gamer?
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01.25.2011 - 22:14 | artizekEasy Bake Aragorn?!! Does it bake lambas bread or something?
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That was awesome! Thank Santa Christ I never watched this abomination when I was a kid. I think I'd still prefer the NC version, even though I couldn't speak English at that time yet.
And, er, yay, that's the end of sequel month!!!
Wait a minute... The end of....
Oh no, it's the end of sequel month!!!
You're glad it's over now, but it's on to reviewing horrible orginial crap! As far as you can call some rip-offs original though...
Keep up the great work, we all enjoy your reviews a lot!!!
All the best from the Netherlands!
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01.25.2011 - 22:51 | Annie-Mae
HAha, Fuzzy Wuzzy No Haired Patrick Stewart.
God is a star...that's enough to set up this movie.
Why is it that the blond white kids are the only kids that get attention from the carebears? Seems a little discriminating, even for black haired, red haired, and brown haired kids.
I'm gonna sound messed up but Dark Heart as a kid looks sexy. XD Evil is so hot. Good addition of the Godfather music.
I have no opinion about this movie other then I saw it as a kid, it's made for 5 year olds, and 5 year olds don't care about continuity. Cute fuzzy things demanding we care about a dieing girl, that'll sell tickets.
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01.26.2011 - 01:44 | SherandaI was a blond white kid. Unfortunately, or fortunately, my parents were too cheap to buy me any Care Bears, or My Little Pony. I had plenty of Barbies, though.
Sorry. Rambling.
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You know, yea, I do see emo Draco-in-leather-pants appeal with Dark Heart (just look at that name, he sounds like a Kingdom Hearts villain) that would normally make that type of character fangirl-bait he wasn't in a freaking Care Bears movie.
Speaking of which, am I the only one who felt that awkward romance vibe between the little girl and the DEVIL? Their voice actor's corresponding characters did get married in the other movie.
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01.26.2011 - 12:00 | PurplePantherGirl
I totally saw the romance as well! That would actually be kind of interesting. But it would have to be really well written or something, otherwise it'd be too Twilight.
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06.28.2011 - 22:35 | SherandaI know what you mean, luvira. I'm sure I would feel an odd attraction to Dark Heart, if I was ten years younger.
... ...
Okay, five.
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01.27.2011 - 03:06 | BagOfMagicFoodThe blond white kids must have landed a great movie deal after their adventure in CandyLand.
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01.25.2011 - 22:25 | ggbhtg
I believe in Panda Q&A- I mean Welshy- I mean Santa Christ- I mean Mr. Hankey- I mean Goku's Spirit Bomb- I mean magic- I mean Care Bears!....what was I talking about?
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01.26.2011 - 00:20 | FieldMarshalPatton^3i believe in perry
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02.07.2011 - 10:43 | S636
i believe in santa christ!
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01.26.2011 - 15:14 | TheAmazingNonSequiterCorn.
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01.25.2011 - 22:29 | IisAwesome
care bears fucking give me the creeps thanks you sageton
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Any of you guys remember the Critic saying that if you watch Care Bears long enough, you would see the face of Satan? I... forgot where I was going with that. I'll come back to this later.
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01.26.2011 - 08:48 | Surfermario1It was in the Crtics frirst Top 11 video.
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02.06.2011 - 00:02 | SherandaAnyway, this movie got pretty close to showing us the face of Satan. That's what I was trying to say.
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01.25.2011 - 22:30 | BigBlackHatMan
I had completely forgotten this movie until I watched this review. I remember liking it as a small child, but I must admit to howling with laughter at the concept now. Maybe it was a memory I could have lived without.
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This is right up there with your pokemon reveiw XXDD
This one was funnier then I was expecting, How come when I'm expecting something great from the critic, he puts out something not so great, then when I expect nothing, I get surprised. I guess it's just how you roll XD