Man, this movie is bad! I remember when “The Neverending Story III” came out, I was nine. I also remember being a bit excited to see it there on the shelf in the video store. Being a big fan of “The Neverending Story”, both the book and the original movie, I thought to myself that there was no way that the third one could be as bad as the second one. I was wrong; dead wrong. At least the second movie was still based on the book (somewhat), but the third one, other than the names of some of the characters and locations, had NOTHING to do with the original book. I was so disappointed that this movie went on my worst movies ever made list right then and there. So, I'm glad you reviewed it, because it deserves a good bashing!

Shame that such a good story was messed up THIS badly! By the way, that's Jack Black. *Slaps head* What? And I LOVE how you keep comparing Jack Black to Khan from Star Trek, it makes it feel more...epic.

Great review, Nostalgia Critic! That ending was wicked awesome too, seriously, one of the best endings ever! I just can't wait for the "Secret of NIMH 2" review, cause that's one of the worst movies made by mankind.

Side note: I think there are more F-bombs in this review than any of the others. It's AWESOME!

Neverending Story my ass! It ended! What blatant false advertising!

Seriously, the first was great but everything after SUCKED! Keep the laughs coming Doug!

(also, why didn't you just use that shovel outside instead of buying a new crowbar?)

Perhaps the shovel was too dignified of a weapon to be soiled by such a heinous film?

Wow. Just wow.
I remember hearing about this movie, but I only knew the name, nothing more.
After watching this review, I wish it stayed that way.

The ending was kinda fitting, though I was disappointed that you never tried to set the pieces ablaze.

This movie is Horabafuckus!

I have to admit the actress playing the stepsister actually has a pretty singing voice.

But her singing voice and Jack Black is the only redemnable part of this whole movie...ONLY!

Furthermore: Why did he spend money on such a rusty crowbar? I hope it was at least on sale.

As for the film: Good god, the NeverEnding Story wasn't even a part of my childhood, I'd only seen it once, and I'm STILL horribly offended by this piece of shit film.

Gordon Freeman defeated an entire alien race with a crowbar. Rusty or not, the crowbar is a noble weapon to destroy films this horrendous.

crowbars will ruin some shit...and after this review, it LITERALLY ruins shit.

My guess is that it was a plastic shovel so it couldn't do **** to that movie. Plus a genuine crowbar is the only thing that can truly bring justice against a movie this bad and it's sins. xD

What about a blowtorch?

A couple of minutes in a microwave will also fuck up a disk pretty damned good-- but it's just not as cathartic as taking a large piece of metal and pounding it into tiny bits.

I'm disappointed that you didn't set them on fire too, though, Doug-- but the review was excellent, and also fully justified. What a piece of crap! And the worst part is, of course, that it was a sequel to such a good original-- if it had been an original movie and completely unrelated to anything else it would still have been pretty bad-- but it wouldn't have been so downright offensive.

I have an outhouse we can drop the pieces down, if you like. Crap like that ought to fit right in.

I would prefer a circular saw, cut up the DVD into little pieces and then weld it into a shiv to stab whoever wrote that piece of shit of a movie.


The end credit song for the second movie was better than the Rock Monster's mockery of "Born to be Wild"

What good would merely smashing a copy of the movie do? I say he should have aimed that crowbar at the people responsible for this. Who according to Wikipedia are~

Taylor Strong (for raping the characters)
Karin Howard (for raping the story)
Peter MacDonald (for directing this catastrophe)

There, isn't it so much nicer to put a name to your hatred?

But in all seriousness, who lets these idiots into Hollywood? I'm constantly told that to get a job in the industry you have to be the best, but movies like this proves that is a lie or that Hollywood is run by a giant troll.

i know right?? how the fuck do these people get into hollywood anyway? they should make a test to see if they're actually competent in making a movie.

I believe they're called job interviews and portfolio/resume submissions, or don't they have those things in Hollywood? Would explain a lot if they didn't.

All rapists should be punished, no matter what they raped.

What and sully his shovel?

If you look at the book, though it has an ending, the story within it never truly ends. It's one of the reasons why that book is so good. A while back, I wrote a blog post about the book, and I talk about the "Seven Ways the Book Contains Itself", that explains how the book is truly never ending. If you want to check that out, go here: http://tinyurl.com/ 2ae3cly

But the movies, they never explain any of that, and thus end, so yes. It is false advertisement on the movie part of things. Shame on them, especially on this third one.

How much do you want to bet that this *chuckles* "child"-like emperess is faking a british accent?


I am surprised he didn't rip more into her being a freaking boobied teenager, seeing how she is suppose to be childlike and young forever.

Never say that a franchise has ended. There is always the possibility of a remake. ALWAYS!

Kinda like how they keep making new Final Fantasy games, right? Which one will be the true and actual "final" one?

Doug, you just made it. You start the new year all fresh, this is your funniest episode in a long long time. And the acting is just fine! Don't change it, keep this going on.

After watching this ending, I get the feeling that this is how The Joker from Batman came to be! :P Guess he watched this movie and just snapped!

He watched this movie, tried to destroy it as well for destroying his childhood, but one of the pieces of disc ricocheted, and sliced open his mouth. he thought that the movie was bleeding and watched as it continued, then Melvin saw what was going on, took him into the bathroom, and stitched up his face, but the damage had already been done.

I totaly agree with you on that man

Come on man! Comparing Jack Black to Kahn from Star Trek is highly unlikely, but its hilarious, thats like comparing the Dark Island to the Death Star from Star Wars. Thats a bit of a stretch, but its better, I think?

Agreed about the f-bombs! This review almost had as many as The Onion Movie! XD

When I looked at the list of reviews for sequel month, I expected Secret of NIHM 2 to be trashed the most. XD But after seeing this ending, I'm not sure he can top that. Seriously, this made the fit he threw in his review of the Bebe's Kids game look like a pretty princess tea party. O_O

Anyway... HOLY CRAP I'VE ACTUALLY SEEN THIS MOVIE! Seriously, I remember seeing the first ten minutes of this movie and thinking it was utter crap before shoving the title to the back of my head. XD THAT'S how crappy it was. And this was when I didn't have as much taste. I remember reading the description on the TV guide, thought it sounded magical and tuned in, only to be disappointed. Since I changed the channel early on, I didn't have to suffer through that Rockbiter song, thank god. XD

I think I was the same age as you & found it the same way. Iit the first time I ever asked "I didn't know there was a sequel. Why didn't it come out in theaters?"

Beware direct-to-DVD sequels! They're the world's least funniest jokes.

Haha, yeah. One thing that REALLY bugged was the The Nasties. I was wondering why some VERY obvious adults were playing school bullies. I know it's common for high school characters to be played by young adults, but these guys playing The Nasty aren't even convincing. XD

I never saw the third movie. Lucky me. Had no idea how much of a messed up fuck it was. It's like the writers never even saw the previous 2 movies. I haven't seen the first movie in like 15 years and I can STILL tell that this is one fucked up mess compared to the first and what it should have been. DID THEY NOT EVEN SEE THE ORIGINAL? I don't want to rant though...

I will say that Movie 2 was already a slap in the face to anyone that saw the original. This is one is like a Patented Chuck Norris Round House Kick to it that leaves a permanent boot print. What happened to the Rockbiter has to be the biggest form of Legal BUT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL character butchering I've EVER seen done to a character. At least in movie 2 he still talked right and didn't ride around on a fucking motorcycle. Even Star Wars didn't sink this low when they butchered its characters all up in the prequels.

This movie is like what happened to the Scary Movie series. The old directors/writers quit and then retarded new ones pick it up to piss all over it for a quick buck while using the success of the previous movie(s) to carry it. You see they were counting on ONE thing, and ONLY that; that the "Neverending Story" reputation, whatever was left of it after Movie 2 anyway, would carry it on the shelves and get sales.(It worked btw)

lol, that was so epic the way he goes on a mental breakdown and wrecks the Neverending Story 3 DVD. If he goes nuts over that just imagine how pyschologically fucked up he is going to be when he reviews "The Secret of Nimh 2"

That would be so funny that he reviews the movie from a padded room while wearing a straight jacket. Considering that NIMH stands for the Institute of Mental Health and he is going to be needing alot of it when he reviews that movie.

I hate F-bombs. They're totally unnecessary.

There's a Neverending Story 4!!

God this movie sucked, I remember seeing the first 2 as a kid and I am thankful I was spared of this abomination back then.

Great video Doug! :D

I haven't watched the Neverending Story series (more than I've watched out of your reviews) and I felt like this movie fucked up big time. (even if I muted your comments) Its just... wow. This makes the Neverending Story 2 look like... an actual pretty damn good sequel to the first one.

Excellent review! When I saw the second film’s review, I thought that it would have been better if he did the third one instead, as it would get a stronger reaction of him. When he acted like it didn’t exist, I figured he would never do it, but here it is and he didn’t disappoint! Since I’m watching and reading a lot of Star Trek now, it was pleasing to see those scenes of Khan. Also, his reaction towards the scenes with the Rock Biter’s family and his rendition of Born To Be Wild (“This is jumping the shark, coming back, shooting it in the balls, raping it, eating its flesh, consuming its soul, mounting its head on a wall and then doing the same thing to 12 more fucking sharks just to be safe!") is the exact same reaction I’m going to have for The Green Hornet later this month.

It was almost as bad as when Slayer sang it... Alomst.

The Leave It to Rockbiter scenes and Needless Overused Song We Got the Rights To #345 are a good example, like every other frame of this movie, of the nonsense studios think must be included in every movie to entertain small, stupid children. Because the last movies didn't do well enough although aimed, ostensibly, at the same audience, right?

The Critic's version of "beyond jumping the shark" is just as funny as Ashens's version: "...didn't so much jump the shark, as repeatedly jump up and down on the shark, screaming 'Look at me, I'm Mr. Jumpy Shark-o!'"

I am not a Star Trek fan. I never watched the show. As a kid, I remember thinking that it was boring and confusing. As an adult, the first time I tried watching anything Star Trek was the second movie. I watched the first twenty minutes of it on SyFy, then changed the channel. I was completely lost. I had no idea what they were talking about. The actors didn't show nearly as much emotion as they were supposed to, even when they were being ATTACKED. I still want to watch Star Trek 2, but I guess I'll have to watch the first one. If I don't understand the first movie, I guess I'd have to watch the entire original series. I hope it doesn't come to that!

the break down at the end was especially great!

That ending was great!

NC channeled AVGN! Pure WIN!

Also: The really scary thing? Doug could probably sell the remains of that DVD on eBay for a nice chunk of change...

Poor critic would go insane if he hears the news that they're actually thinking about a reboot.

Oh sh... I think I just told him.

I look forward to that review too :D

Oy... this was just painful to watch... absolute pain in a jar.

And I've seen better CGI in the movies I review... and I review BARBIE movies...

.... You.... review.... Barbie movies....?

That's brave, man. Mad, but brave.

Indeed.

Dude's got BALLS.

wow, this one was really good. no, I mean, The review was good, this was a really good Nostalgia Critic review, not the movie, the movie was shit. but this review is one of his best. it's way up there with all the big ones, like Garbage Pale Kids, Batman and Robin, North, Tom and Jerry, of all the Doug's top best reviews, I'd say this is the newest one. awesome job NC!

What an embarrassingly bad movie. Great review though, I love the ending. That damn movie had it coming.

T_T this movie is horrible. God, I can't believe this shit exists.I hope you are well after seeing this disgusting and terrifying movie NC. T_T

i nearly died during the shark segment. and i love how you redid the destroying of the Bebe's kids game

0A0....Dear lord that was horrible. I will pray for you Doug, three more to go.

I have to say, when you do a review of a movie this bad, it's a whole lot funnier. Still, I wouldn't wish this fate even on my worst enemy.

I wonder how he'll react to "Secret of NIMH 2," because the original film is one of his all-time favorites.

I hope he shows it no mercy!

I look forward to it, too. I loved the original, too, and actually saw the sequel... spoiler alert: it's a musical :O. There's much worse wrong with it, but it'll definitely be fun seeing the Critic scream in agony lol.

The Nostalgia Critic, always taking one in the sprouts for the Team.

I'm also wondering how that review will play out. It seems as though this entire month is going to be stepping on the fond memories we have of childhood classics and Secret of NIHM 2 is ... Well, I'm not sure if it's worse than this one, but it's still terrible.

Seriously though Doug, this is a really great review of a truly wretched movie. You did good to destroy it with all of your hate at the end of it all. Your reaction is so strong, I can only wonder if you've finally found a film you dislike more than Garbage Pail Kids.

Good luck to you throughout this ordeal. You going to need it and a lot more to make it through.

Seriously. Secret of NIMH 2 is even worse than NS3 -- at least they had Jack Black being hammy which is kinda-maybe-partially- ever so slightly-mildy-not quite utterly annoying.

Wheras NIMH 2...this will be a fun review to watch

its not as bad as what they did to Land Before Time at this point he could have made it into a land before time YEAR

I knew a song was coming the second you said it gets worse and I've never seen this movie. I think that's a good thing.

Such a funny ending, Doug! Great job!

I remember watching this years ago. And yeah, I do remember it being as lame as NC says.

They really messed up big time with that one didn't they? Rock Biter especially got screwed over

I just love seeing Doug (in character) cry.

4:48- I wonder how MORE creepy this scene would be in …SCARY SLO-MO!

If I was gonna be afraid of a group of bullies called “The Nastys,” it would be if it were similar to Stormtroopers lead by Darth Vader. If you were to look up the word “stupid” in the dictionary, you would see an image of the poster for this movie.
7:35- In speakin’ of Star Wars…

My God, that camera joke was just too funny for me to take handle.

I agree that they completely f#cked-up the rock biters. They look like they belong in a parody film like either "Epic Movie" of "Disaster Movie"; You know, 2 other bad films of this calibur.
13:42- THAT was my same reaction. I never thought that this film would be THIS bad; I‘m talking “Highlander 2“ bad.

20:45- Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian would be so proud of this girl.

I was also thinking about Chuck Norris.

Thanks for raping our brains, ending credits. Also, BEST NOSTALGIA CRITIC ENDING EVA.

Highlander: The Source. That movie DESTROYED Spoony. Sure FFVIII and FFX hurt him inside, but the source ate him.

I'm was actually talking about movies released to theatres, and "The Source" was released on the SciFi Channel (Not SyFy) and later on DVD. But I DO agree that "Highlander: The Source" was the one that kicked the Highlander franchise in the imortal balls.

And its all January XD
Great review , as always!!


Love U NC!!

But wait! *sqeal* There’s mooorrrre!

Seriously, this movie is an abomination. They dumbed down Falkor? Seriously? The original Neverending Story had the guy who played Skeletor in the He-Man cartoon be the voice of Falkor. And yeah, now he sounds like Patrick from Spongebob. And let’s not forget “The Rockbiters”, a new series on ABC Family, coming this spring, starring a family of stone golems who eat rocks. Special guests include The Flintstones and Pennywise the Killer Clown. I can see them using the “Born to Be Wild” motorcycle clip as their opening credits. In other words, fuck this movie.

Oh, and the jaw-dropping animation you did? That was brilliant. Fucking epic. I need to figure out how you did that. Perhaps it could be used with a googly-eyed freak-out moment or something. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this angry in any review. You’ve come close in several… but oh no. This is top notch shit right here.

I’m going to nominate Nostalgia Chick as the new director for Neverending Story 5. Where is 4, you ask? I skipped it. Why? Because fuck it, that’s why. So, the 5th movie will be renamed to “The Neverexplained Story: Plotholes Are Forever.” And Bastian makes his triumphant return as our not-so-heroic-hero, and the child-like Empress is played by the little girl from Zombieland.

Oh, I am SO writing the script.

Dude.. your mental breakdown at the end was the best breakdown of ALLLLL TIIIME. Holy fuck, I literally got down on the floor, and I rofl’d the fuck out of it. “I’m fucking the DVD!!”

You're pulling an Al Lowe, then! (For the unaware, "Fuck it" is essentially why there's no Leisure Suit Larry 4.)

Can't wait to see NC's TV Tropes Fetish Fuel page after that freakout... 8-)

Heh, I suppose I am. :P I didn't know who Al Lowe was, so I looked him up. It does sound about right. But like the Critic, I tend to be inspired by other works. And, also like Doug, sometimes I think of something only to have someone else tell me later that it was done many times before. :P

Even the second one was better than this...ugh. >

Probably the most epic mental breakdown ever seen. It's so epic and insane it makes the destruction of Bebe's Kids SNES look like breaking a Popsicle stick.

I wonder what those people who were driving by at the Home Depot parking lot thought when they saw a laughing maniac with a crowbar.

You raped the CD! You took its virginity! Oh wait, the ENTIRE FRANCHISE WAS RAPED BY THE PRODUCERS! I mean, my god. Its like a different movie series! That blows! Thanks for exposing this crap for what it is. I feel so sorry for Jack Black.

I feel sad for him, I mean, I know that he was trying to have fun with it, and I respect him for that.

But seriously, how embarrassed must he be now, knowing it was that movie...THAT MOVIE...that introduced him into a new generation of movie fans. And it was a insult to a great movie like Neverending Story?

ohhhhh.... from the second I started watching I knew I would feel much to much pity in this review...

Hell of a good review to start the New Year! As a kid, I loved this movie. Looking back now, the hell was I thinking?

Wow. My inner child--the one who remembers seeing the original NeverEnding Story at the theater when she was little--is weeping at the atrocity of this sequel. SO glad I'm not you, Critic. Don't think I could have sat through the entire movie, especially after the Steppenwolf sequence.

OH god you actually did it! i thought you wouldn't

haha, I remember renting this movie when I was a kid, being a fan of the first movie.....And yes, the second movie (I was a kid! I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER!!!)and, I remember getting about 10 minutes into the movie and thinking "What the fuck is this monkey shit?!" and turned it off, never to attempt watching it again. (and my life has been all the better for it)

Never saw this movie. I didn't even know it existed until about 8 years ago. Sometimes I just feel sorry for the NC.

I have to wonder whether or not this has supplanted the Garbage Pail Kids movie as his most hated film. It certainly deserves it. One of the most poorly written and cheap looking films I can recall seeing.

Probably. I don't remember ever seeing NC quite this angry in a review, and that's saying something. This movie looks like it's as infuriating as at least ten Bat Credit Cards.

Fuck that. Sequels can be just as good as the originals. This, on the other hand, is NOWHERE near the original! And don't you fucking dare make a comparison between A Neverending Story 3 and Toy Story 3!

I would think that's why Marissa got many thumbs-down votes on her comment. Cuz she compared this to Toy Story 3. Not cool, Evans. Not cool.

This movie is the scum of the earth but its not toy story 3. honestly, toy story 3 to me is no were near as good as the first. im not saying toy story 3 is bad. i think the movie is just ok because the story and charcters seem out of place and the moral is kinda betraying itself. however, have you heard anything about cars 2? just by the story, it jumps 14 sharks at the same time while peeing on them. cars wasnt even good to beggin with, y are they makeing a sequal of it? I dont get it at all...

We hit a milestone, ladies and gentlemen. For the first time online, we get to see a DVD fuck, in full, on-screen.

The Critic is always talking about fucking movies, but IT JUST GOT REEEEEAAAAAAAAAALLLLL!!!! *Satan voice*