Howard the Duck
Tuesday, 11 November 2008 00:36
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11.10.2008 - 12:48 | randomduded
THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!!
LOL at 5 minutes, it looked like Howard the Duck was moonwalking. If I had paid to see this, I'm pretty sure any Duck protagonist (Donald Duck and Howard the Duck in particular) would have lost most of their appeal to me. Damn, George Lucas had to be high and insane to release ssomething this bad.
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11.10.2008 - 12:49 | CroutonsOfDeath - Haha
More critic awesomeness! I think this is one of your funniest next to Batman & Robin. My brother forced me to watch this movie ALOOOT though for some reason. Thank god he overused it so much the tape broke and none of us were willing to buy him another copy.
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11.10.2008 - 12:53 | randomduded
I wonder what that duck in the bathtub was doing with her hand beneath the water. Damn, this is one hell of a perverted kid's movie or I am reading too much into the film.
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11.10.2008 - 12:56 | randomduded
what was the song during the duck fight scene? Music you might don't know, but it is still pretty damn sweet. Sweeeeeeet (Benzaie style)!
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11.10.2008 - 13:03 | enginsoysal - YEAH :D
I remember owning o copy of Howard the Duck and I watched it once a month... yeah... once a month...
And I really enj... OK ONCE A WEEK!!!...
But.. I really loved th... OK I WATCHED IT EVERY FRICKIN' DAY...
Back than it was cool though..
Now it's sad jerking of Duck Tits...
Great review tgwtg. Been worth the waiting...
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11.10.2008 - 13:11 | Erinaceus - Morbid Curiosity...
Makes me want to see this movie. Does that make me a bad person?
Maybe because I have to see the evidence firsthand that Lucas is capable of planting a picture in our heads that is worse than Jar Jar. That evidence is Duck Tits.
But wow...Tim Robbins? This stinker and his paltry imitation of poultry shoulda killed is career before it even got off the ground.
And for people who still complain over the inocuous (though admittedly still creepy) kiss between Lacey Chabert and Sonic the Hedgehog, I give you this, Lea Thompson and a Duck as a worse example of unsettling interspecies love.
...
Oh, God...now that I'm thinking about it, I think I have seen it before, when I was four! It's one of those childhood memories I've since tried to block out! *Gasp!* Uncle Dan, why did you take off my pants?:'(
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11.10.2008 - 13:12 | Mr. Dogma - What did I just watch?
Dear sweet zombie jesus... what on Earth was that abomination you reviewed? Seriously... Lemme count all the things that stuck out in my mind as awful: duck tits, racism (did he really call that guy a cracker? honestly), promoting bestiality (I was ready to slit my wrists too during that scene), and the love spa.
But hey not everything was bad. Cobra commander there didn't go crazy on any A1 sauce, so I guess he's not all bad. But seriously that was awful. I'm tempted to go find the movie just to subject myself to its horrors and get a closer look, because I'm a masochist.
Also, did anyone else immediately think of the AVGN's review of "The Wizard"/Super Mario Bros 3 when the line "And your mother sucks cocks in hell" popped up?
Anyway, fun review. Gonna watch it again after class tomorrow.

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11.10.2008 - 13:13 | Shark
I never saw this movie and after watching this review, I am so happy. I can barely form any thoughts about what I just saw.
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11.10.2008 - 13:15 | UraRenge
when even George Lucas refuses to remember that he made it, you KNOW it's bad.
The comic is actually quite good though.
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11.10.2008 - 13:17 | DisposableJustice
O...WTF....duck tits...I will not be able to sleep tonight:'( Great review as always NC
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11.10.2008 - 13:22 | 21stcenturysucks! - Awesome Review!
I've been looking forward to this review and once again, I'm entertainied. It's funny because I just got Howard the Duck R2 DVD for my collection. This review topped it off. NC does it again!

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11.10.2008 - 13:41 | animerocksautistic
The duck tit's scene was named one of the 10 worst nude scenes in film by Empire magazine recently (You know, in that top 10 section).
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11.10.2008 - 13:46 | MisterC
I actually saw a little bit of it on TBS over a decade ago, but thankfully didn't remember it aside from the title. And after that near-beastiality scene, I can never find young Lea Thompson hot again.... Damn you, Howard the Duck! This film actually looks worse than Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.
Also, I can't believe Tim Robbins actually still had a career after this.
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11.10.2008 - 13:52 | TheDramaticMonarch - DUCK TITS! WOO-HOO?!
Oh god...
I've actually SEEN a few chunks of this movie on TV a few years back while I was over at my friend's house one night and it's just as bizarre and unintentionally hilarious as I remember it...and we never got to witness the brain breakage that is DUCK TITS! :o
No seriously, I don't think my eyes have ever been as wide in shock until the DUCK TITS came up...god...I'm still having a hard time computing that one! Hell, just talking about the DUCK TITS is making me a little twitchy and bug-eyed.
You definitely hit the nail on the head when it comes to the atrocious absurdity that is "Howard the Duck". Yeah, it's so trainwreck-y that it's kinda funny and you gotta keep watching it...but then it gets so boring and loses whatever "fun" it may have wandered into in the first place. My friend and I never bothered to continue watching the rest of the movie as soon as creepy exorcist hadouken guy came on.
You have no idea how strangely excited I was for this review and you more than lived up to my expectations.
"DUCK TITS! WOO-HOO!!" (it will never leave!)
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08.23.2009 - 21:01 | Tentacles
At least with bunny boobies, you can always hope its a playboy bunny.
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11.10.2008 - 14:04 | FREAKFANATIC - What the Hell did I just watched?!!!!
I never saw this movie as a kid, and I'm sure glad I never did. Did kids actually enjoyed this movie?! This duck is probably the most unlikable, bland and generic character I ever seen.
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11.10.2008 - 14:13 | Raziel Star - This Review Hurt
Nostalgia is a funny thing. I loved this movie, at least once the evil alien showed up. I could barely watch the screen as you ripped this movie a new one. Damn Duck Tits, doesn't make any damn sense.
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11.10.2008 - 14:18 | Kavonde
I, um...I actually kinda like that movie. I enjoy bad puns waaaaaaay too much, you see. And, y'know. The movie has a lot of them.
*cough*
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04.01.2009 - 09:56 | kevinski - Same here.
I love this movie, as well. And Lea Thompson looks awesome in it.

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11.10.2008 - 14:30 | Squirrellord
Why was that duck even taking a bath? Doesn't water just... roll off their backs?!
And is anyone else INCREDIBLY freaked out by Howard? I mean, mother of God, I could see that being a horror movie just as easily.
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11.10.2008 - 14:32 | gojiraeight
This was never suppose to be a kids movie. Why do people think it is? Because of the rating? Because it's about a giant duck? Ok, I can see how that might throw you off. The original comic was certainly not for kids. And I would recommend to everyone to actually read the original run. It's pretty damn funny.
In the comic people always expect Howard to be likable and fun because he's a giant friggin duck like Daffy or Donald but he's just a rude, foul mouthed jerk who would rather point out how everything sucks. And the comic book was never intended for children.
I don't think their is any way for anyone to do a good movie version. And I certainly don't get why anyone would want to.
but with all that said this truly is one of the worst damn movies ever made. I think seeing this movie for the first time starting me drinking. I was 11. Damn you LUCAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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11.10.2008 - 14:57 | A Knothole Resident
If I had to choose, Id go with bunnie boobies. I only saw this film once in thearter and I watching that distrubing scene was just horrific. Call me ignorant, but I had no idea that Lucas was atatched to this shit. At least Willow was more redeemable. Anyway, great review!
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