Alone In The Dark
Tuesday, 08 September 2009 19:41
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Comments (1243)
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09.08.2009 - 19:45 | slei
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Uwe Boll ist ein Ekeln, nicht inspirierte Kerbe SCHWEINHUND eines Filmmachers
und Profimacher der falschen Versprechen!!
:angry: :angry: :angry:
German for: Uwe Boll is a disgusting, uninspired pigdog of a filmmaker and
profiteer of false promises.
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09.09.2009 - 01:24 | DisinformationSorry your german is like one of Bolls Movies.
The sentence you wrote reads in german:
Uwe Boll is a disgust, unspired hack pigdog of a filmmaker and expert-maker of false promises.
Otherwise I invite everybody to join the Petition to stop Uwe Boll
http:// www.petitiononline.com/ RRH53888/petition.html
there are already more than 340000 signatures.Oh and the review was truly funny. Thanks
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09.09.2009 - 08:04 | WerminI alredy signed it a long time ago.
I hate this guy. Who doesn't?
Great review nad very funny!
^_^
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09.09.2009 - 21:03 | ThatCreepyChickI signed it already :woohoo:
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09.10.2009 - 17:16 | dracon81eeeeeeeeexactly
signed the petition already too :P
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01.10.2011 - 01:28 | Sheranda
What petition?
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10.10.2009 - 06:50 | drunkonsprite
Im the 345149th signature :woohoo:
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10.22.2009 - 10:30 | BSAudioI would sign your petition, but that would stop awesome NC's like these :P
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04.14.2010 - 05:49 | Kruge
[quote]Sorry your german is like one of Bolls Movies.
The sentence you wrote reads in german:
Uwe Boll is a disgust, unspired hack pigdog of a filmmaker and expert-maker of false promises.
[/quote]
[color=blue]Verdammich - ich wollte gerade genau das gleiche tippen! Including the initial remark about him speaking German being like Uwe Boll making a movie! Literally!
Allthough - I'd have translated Profimacher as creator of professionals... :D[/color]
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04.16.2010 - 13:35 | theSnark
But withut Uwe Boll, who would we despise?
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01.10.2011 - 01:31 | SherandaMichael Bay?
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06.18.2010 - 13:52 | The Critic-BotThe Critic-Bot adds his signature, too.
Stop Toilet Boll at any cost!
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So Uwe Boll beats up his critics? Okay.
I liked House of the Dead...the GAME. I got a Dreamcast because of HOTD2. When I moved to XBox, I got HOTD3 (I really wish they'd make a compatible light gun for the X360 considering they emulated the game...). I was excited when I heard they were going to make a movie for HOTD.
And the few clips I saw of it? WERE HORRIBLE.
If Uwe Boll were to challenge me, I would have to say...I don't box. Only one of us would walk out of that ring. And whether by cockiness, skill, or indignant rage...it will not be him. And he already threw his first "punch"...by ruining a franchise I really liked.
I'm signing that petition to stop Boll.
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08.03.2010 - 22:38 | ChewingScenery
He tried didn't he he? And either way it's right.
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09.29.2010 - 12:49 | KingKaorUWE BOLL MUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :grr: :grr: :grr:
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09.09.2009 - 01:22 | anaeuphisWorking grammar version:
Uwe Boll ist ein ekelhafter, uninspirierter Schweinehund von Filmemacher, der von falschen Versprechen profitiert.
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09.09.2009 - 13:53 | bcacritic
Stop speakin in german damn it!!!
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04.14.2010 - 06:42 | SuperfantastischNein, du!
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I don't get it, why were you speaking German in the first place? That'd be like if I were to randomly call Uwe Boll a stupid person in Chinese.
Ta shi hen ben de ren! :woohoo:
I would have put the characters, but they show up as question marks. :P
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09.11.2009 - 12:24 | beowulf[quote]I don't get it, why were you speaking German in the first place? That'd be like
if I were to randomly call Uwe Boll a stupid person in Chinese.
Ta shi hen ben de ren! :woohoo:
I would have put the characters, but they show up as question marks. :P[/quote]
Because Uwe Boll is German.
It´s the same like calling zhang ziyi a 38.
(ruguo ni shi zhongguo ren ni yingai liaojie wo weishenme jiao ta san ba. )
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:whistle: Talvés esto te sorprenda, pero hay miles de idiomas en el mundo aparte del inglés ¿sabes?
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09.09.2009 - 21:02 | ThatCreepyChickAgreed.
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09.10.2009 - 23:59 | coconut
dang orwell!! lol. i signed that petition forever ago myself ;) I've been waiting all day to come home and see this review! made it!!
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04.14.2010 - 05:45 | Kruge[quote]Uwe Boll ist ein Ekeln, nicht inspirierte Kerbe SCHWEINHUND eines Filmmachers
und Profimacher der falschen Versprechen!!
German for: Uwe Boll is a disgusting, uninspired pigdog of a filmmaker and
profiteer of false promises.[/quote]
[color=blue]Oh, come on, don't be so harsh with him - after all he's the living proof that, even if you earned your money by suffering concussions on a regular, professional basis and thus have lost most of your mental capabilities AND you are a German there still is a place for you in this world where you can become filthy rich:
Hollywood!
Damn, I should have become a professional boxer instead of a computer-geek! :0 [/color]
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04.15.2010 - 03:11 | dracovulgaris
Nope.
"Uwe Boll is a disgusting, uninspired pigdog of a filmmaker and
profiteer of false promises."
in German its:
Uwe Boll ist ein ekelhafter, uninspirierter Schweinehund eines Filmemachers und ein Profiteur der falschen Versprechen.
:silly:
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09.12.2009 - 21:45 | DarkLord500im jk but you must have no life if ur just sitting at ur computer all day waiting for a review of a bad movie
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04.13.2010 - 22:17 | WillHighSAME HERE BUDDY :woohoo:
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I rented this to watch on a date when it came out not knowing the pile of boring shit it was.
By the end, the chick was so mad I picked it, she left.
Damn you Uwe Boll! I will have my revenge...
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09.08.2009 - 19:45 | mintysheepdogGreat review as always :D
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09.08.2009 - 19:46 | megaman736close to frist coment
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09.08.2009 - 19:48 | GenesisNerd
So THIS is the special top secret review!
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09.08.2009 - 19:49 | RTtheman12
Hooray! This should be good!
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09.08.2009 - 19:57 | Gamer_Ely
wow it's not even on the video feed, got lucky on this one, great job my good chum, no secret there, aaah i love shock guests, looks like spoony is popping up all over the place, love it!!!! i was wondering if he would show up because he already did a review of alone in the dark on his site, great job again AND you got linkara... i think this will probably create a rift in the space awesome continuum
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09.09.2009 - 05:29 | Techno Loader
Actually doing a rifftrack for this movie is kind of boring since there are some parts where nothing is going on. Trust me, I tried to do one. :s
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09.09.2009 - 17:48 | RockBandGod100Oh come on, Daredevil wasn't that bad. :s
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04.14.2010 - 18:14 | dudeintheskully
daredevil had all the makeings of a good movie. if the hero was a maniac like moon knight, the story becomes just another revenge plot and ben affleck... just ben affleck.all be it, the directors cut is a bit more of the story version of the...story, but the movie lacks it's frank miller inspired feal and dosn't flow very well ;i'd take it a bazzillion times before watching uwe bol. unless you throw in the Elektra movie...I cried through that one, it was just such a bad movie....
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09.11.2009 - 21:13 | megaultradamn:huh: then why didnt you say do a rifftrack of dare devil or ultra violet
(why did you call them bastards?)
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09.11.2009 - 22:03 | moonymonsterThey did. Batman Forever.
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08.03.2010 - 22:40 | ChewingSceneryHell yeah they should do a rifftrax!
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09.08.2009 - 19:58 | Drop Dead, NerdI´ve been waiting for this!!!
This movie is one of the worst I ever saw.
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09.08.2009 - 20:25 | Poof E Hair
Oh, so THIS is the top secret review.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hooray for guest stars, especially when they're Spoony and Linkara! w00t!
Anyway, Uwe Boll needs to either die or stop making movies. Whichever one comes first.
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09.08.2009 - 19:58 | squirle105
YES! I've been waiting all day for this! great review as always!
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09.08.2009 - 19:59 | Psychokiller
Jesus, this is the first time I've been on the first page of comments. I feel special.
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09.08.2009 - 19:59 | Metalsnake27WOOT WOOT!
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09.08.2009 - 19:59 | Arhum93
lolololol
I was NOT expecting you to review this movie, NC.
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09.08.2009 - 19:59 | Donut
hahahahahahahhaahahahahah , lol :lol: :lol: :lol: :woohoo:
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these are always the highlight of my tuesdays/wednesdays/ whenever I get to seeing them. Hilarious, as always NC!
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09.08.2009 - 20:01 | lionessempress
WOW!!!!! A movie so bad that the nostaglia need help with two other reviews. That is really really bad. But the review was AwESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!
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09.08.2009 - 20:01 | OmegaSama
Haha this was a great review. I am surprised you haven't reviewed any of his movies before...
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09.08.2009 - 20:01 | Smarty
i love you so much...
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09.08.2009 - 20:01 | Drowned_in_lightyeah new nostolgia critic! Awesome as always!
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09.08.2009 - 20:02 | SenTToxHilarious... (As always)
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09.08.2009 - 20:14 | CinemaZebra
My mummy says I'm a good boy!
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09.08.2009 - 20:05 | CondorelThat was fifty kinds of awesome!
You three rock my world, your individual styles meshed together unbelievably well. You guys keep raising the bar higher and higher with every review and....well I think that's enough of a love-fest for one comment.
Cheers.
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09.08.2009 - 23:51 | RebelTaxi
There's 1 good thing about Uwe's FarCry movie. Craig and Tom from Screwattack/GameHeroes make a cameo for winning a contest that no one else entered.
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09.08.2009 - 20:08 | ThatFellowInTheCoat
Three of my favourite reviewers on the website watching one movie! What more could you ask for? I was laughing the whole time, that's for sure.
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09.08.2009 - 20:09 | MCPiewow, im surprised that im not surprised.
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09.08.2009 - 20:09 | GrabigelMan, you really pump these out quick, unless you've already done them >.>
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09.08.2009 - 20:10 | BcForCe
Great video i wanan help u with upcoming vids doug but you never respond to my smsgs
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09.09.2009 - 00:31 | laughingman
Using proper English instead of 'txt speak' might help. :whistle:
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I saw the title of today's movie and just said to myself "No way! He is not THAT insane or masochistic...."
I then saw his expression at the opening and realized...yes he was...
My sympathies NC. Now you know why the mention of the director's very name strikes terror into the hearts of gamers and film goers alike. Get well soon :(
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09.08.2009 - 20:11 | Sonocle Ujedex
I would have never figured out this. This is truely a big surprise. To my credit, i want to say it was impossible to predict because this movie is not nostalgic.
But it is indeed an horrible movie and his director is a gigantic monkey's creamcheese spewing douchebag, and so a formidable target four the NC (or the Movie Snob...or Spoony).
Oh well, the Comboy Bebop i've dreamt about will wait. This NC review is HISTORIC! Yes! Something with his incomparable level of shittyness and yet, so different from the rest of the NC's politic of review is a huge event among all the review NC has made. Good job!
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i hate Uwe Boll with a capital 8. i am a gamer, and i have sworn immediate jihad if he takes a single glance in the direction of Zelda or Metroid.
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09.09.2009 - 12:34 | Bogue2kwI dare him to try! I double dare him, the motherf*cker!
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09.09.2009 - 15:55 | DannyboyTheDaneThis is best NC in a very long time! You guys should definitely make more reviews together! It's awesome! :cheer:
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01.10.2011 - 01:35 | SherandaI don't think he would touch Nintendo.
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10.09.2009 - 15:25 | drunkonspriteI will send Chuck Norris after him if he does that *Imagines it* :D
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That someone would just fucking assasinate Uwe Boll and end his horrifyingly asshole-ness to cinema. oh, and he can take Michael Bay, too. :evil: :angry: :X
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08.03.2010 - 22:47 | ChewingSceneryBut if someone did that, then he wouldn't make more shitty movies, that might be bad. To explain, allow me to present this equation on why that's bad.
Shitty Uwe Boll movies (or any bad movie) + TGWTG Reviewers = Awesome and funny reviews!
I'm telling you, we need these bad directors and film makers, otherwise we wouldn't have this fantastic site. Bless you bad film makers for making bad films and may you burn in Cinema Hell after you're gone.
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