hey an animaniacs tribute reference good reveiw overall as always keep up the good work it is probably just me that will think howard should have done the review

Dear Doug,
The reason it isn't a good idea to zombify your self is because when he zombified someone he had control over that person. Also it probably involved a ritual and said person that does ritual can't be zombified while doing the ritual that being said by a pagan view.

YYYYYYYYYYeeeeeeeeeeeaaaa aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
This movie was confusing.......
I mean the story was confusing, werid, and it didn't make any sense, infact it made thinking I was watching BIG LIPPED-ALLIGATOR MOMENT THE MOVIE
I mean, come on,
HOW COULD THIS MOVIE F#&% UP BLACKBEARD?

Also I don't think you can ever zombify yourself

Now wait a minute! This would have been a perfect crossover opportunity for Bloodbeard Joe. Or at least Black Dog Bill.

"BLEEP! bleep! Bleep bleep bleep-!"

LMAO! As a fan of Deadwood I just bust a gut laughing over the part where they had Blackbeard sounding off bleeps like it was morse code. For its interesting characters and fun storylines it did feel like the lines were something out of a live-action adult South Park episode.



Many have parished playing the Deadwood drinking game for taking a sip whenever someone said the "F"-word on that show....

I can only hope that the series finale pits Jack Sparrow against Bloodbeard Joe. Of course, that would be the end of Jack Sparrow. Sherri Stoner could play a were-mermaid as well. I'd watch that movie.

Bloodbeard Joe wouldn't kill Jack, he'd fire him into nul space through a rip in the fabric of time; that's where all his enemies go. Eisner and the cast of Good Burger have been trapped there for years.

Psh. Yeah, well, OBVIOUSLY, but he still wouldn't be around for a sequel. :)

You know, if you do a Google search of Sherri Stoner, five out of the first six pictures that turn up are of her in a swimsuit next to a picture of Ariel. Who would have thought that the voice of Slappy Squirrel would be such a sex symbol?

I think this film is awesome, it is not my favourite in the series that is the original by far however this is definitely my second favourite. I definitely recommend you watch it.

P.S. There is a very humorous after credits scene that is worth sitting through the credits to see, at least in my opinion

saw it yesterday, walked out after credits, wut was it

though i haven't seen the movie, weird isn't it watching a review before seeing the movie i might disagree on Blackbeard. why i say that is because the clips on youtube that they put on their official channel really got me interested in seeing a regularish pirate again as the badguy. I really did enjoy Davy Jones in 2 and 3 but they kinda seemed tossed out for beckett as the villian which bothered me in the films now Blackbeard is an interesting character to do in a film because the real blackbeard was a huge overthe top very flamboyant character and maybe they wrote him as a blunt character so we wouldn't have to watch too much ham on screen. I dunno i must go watch to see if i'm right or a complete moron for liking all the pirate movies warts and all

I can't wait to see the movie (YES, I'm one of the big lovers of the franchise...)...

The reason for that is oddly enough not that I like the actors, the caharacters or the whole fantasy-adventures aspect of it, no, it is (funnily enough) THE MERMAIDS.

I was so sick of how this normaly hard to tell mystic creatures turn into singing and nice, loveable characters and often damsels in distress.

BUT THEN came (in 2001) a little Remake of the Movie "She Creature" under the same name by Sebastian Guiterrez and I was so blown away by this movie. A Mermaid hold captive and killing people to eat them, with avery nice dark twist and a great ending? THAT WAS AWESOME. And for a low budget horror-movie it was really well done, with effects by Stan Winston Studios and great Actors Rufus Sewell and Carla "One Day You'll be Mine" Gugino. When I saw the Trailer for Pirates 4 I was immediately hooked, when the Mermaid shot out of the water and grabbed a guy.

oh, I can't wait...

Oh, and thank You for this very fair review of the movie, I knw I could coun't on You, Doug!

I Loved the first pirates movie, 2 and 3 were okay, but this one was just a mess, fun stuff with jack but everyone else felt flat and uninteresting. Everything interesting about Blackbeard was ignored to focus on a pointless romance that no one enjoyed watching.
gets worse when you realize how many missed opportunities for good swordfights and character development there were.
I would be less hard on this movie if it JUST EXPLAINED THINGS BETTER!!

That's what I thought! I dunno if it was me being shallow, but compared to Davy Jones, the dude with the peg-leg, squid head, and curse - Blackbeard was just kind of boring.

Oh yeah, and the mermaids were HOT :3

i heated mermaids, sorry but even their are pretty (or just the first one)they are stupid, i think they tried to get the vampire mermaids to get some vampire fan attencion. But seriously, when i saw them jumping out of water my first reaction was "flipper just join this movie".

@TragicGuineaPig - Agreed.

I'm really excited about the new Pirates movie, because I like all over them (even the last two people see to hate I guess). So I'm really pumped, especially because of how long ago I heard about this movie and it seems like I've been waiting forever. And of course I want to see it because "I'm Johnny Depp!" I love Jack Sparrow, so squee.
Just side note on Mermaids (there are different kinds as well like Selkies), there has always been stories of mermaids being 'evil' - luring sailors to their deaths, drowning and kidnapping people (and taking them to their kingdom) etc. They are a mixed bag in mythology, sometimes they are good and sometimes bad. I'm looking forward to seeing a bad example in the new Pirates movie.

Holy hell, a GOOD review of this movie. I mean that both in the sense that he liked the movie and that the review itself wasn't a load of bollocks.

Saw this movie today and I liked it. Wasn't great but I enjoyed it

What's your recommendation for people who didn't like any of the PotC films?

Loving the new format!

Bum review was HILARIOUS.

And I do love this new style where you do a serious review along with the Bum Review. It's very good and very insightful.

I haven't seen the movie yet but given everyone hated the 3rd movie and that was my favourite, I suppose I'll like this one.

Just one question you didn't address -- IS IT FUNNY? Because generally what I like best about these films is the humor.

At World's End was sort of a step down. I liked Pirates 1 and 2 but 3 wasn't terrible it was just sort of bogged down a bit, and I don't mind complex stories, I like them because it gets my brain moving and makes me really think, but yeah there are times where it doesn't need to be so complex that it's unecessary. I liked Angelica she was a fun sexy character although her blindess of her father kind of bothered me, when it's so obvious Blackbeard doesn't give a shit about her or anyone else for that matter. Barbosa was good and it's cool to see him work with Jack. I didn't really understand why Jack left her on that island, but I figured since she's sort of a con artist that he didn't think it was worth it, despite the fact he loved her. Blackbeard is surprsingly dissapointing. It didn't seem like the actor had that much energy. But I hope they have Angelica again and actually get together with Jack. None of the Pirate movies are really bad and that's what I like. They've all had good stuff in them. The movie is not as good as the first or second but it's better than the third one to me.

OMG! I almost watched this before watching the movie!
Stopped myself in time though. Don't want any spoilers right now.

I absolutely not agree with your opinion.
I am a huge, huge, huge PotC-Fan. I LOVE the other three movies, I love the books, even though (exept for the new book "Price of Freedom") they are badly written... And I will never get why everyone hates PotC3, since I really think that movie was great and amazingly written and executed - at least for what it is: An mindless fun adventure-movie.
But THIS movie... It was... I really really thought about leaving the cinema in the break in the middle of the movie.
It was bad. Plain bad.
I really missed the dirt, because it made the other pirates-movies more realistic.
I missed the dirty fighting of the other movies. I mean this fights were ridicously overchoreographed!
And as releaved as I was that this movie won't have Liz and Will in it... I would have endured their story fifty times than having this stupid Mary Sue Angelica around. She is so badly written... It is like taking a fanfiction character (of a really bad fanfiction) and making a movie about it. Plus: She was just a plain character. Missing any kind of background.
As well as Blackbeard, the monk and the mermaid with the stupid name. They had no Background.
At this one scene Jack Sparrow is like "Hey, Blackbeard, I heard you had been beheaded. Why are you here?" - And we were like: "Yes, actually that is a good question! So, tell me movie. Same question!" But the movie doesn't bother explaining.

In the other three movies the whole magic parts were somehow explained. And was it just by "Yeah, the gods made it this way"... but it was explained. They bothered explaining. In this movie: "Yeah, is this way, just buy it."

I was really disgusted getting out of the cinema. It is not that I expected much, after Verbinski left the movie, but still the few expectations I had were completely failed.

I don't think that Angelica was a mary-sue in the sense you are describing it. She was flawed; she had to be because she's supposed to be a funny counterpart to Jack Sparrow. Her character was supposed to add more humor than romance to the movie, so I thought that was OK. She also didn't really get to live happily ever after with Jack Sparrow or anything, and she wasn't always right. I think she was more of an anti-sue in that she's a pirate, but she has sympathy for the clergyman and a deep love for her "father". She could have been more well-written, but again, I think she was supposed to add more humor and banter to movie and she did that to varying degrees of success.

I haven't actually seen the second or third pirates movie. >> I really should. But I liked this fourth one. It was OK. Not bad. But forgettable.

I do agree that they should have explained the magical powers here. Where did Blackbeard get that kickass sword? How does he have voodoo powers? What are the extent of his powers? Can a mermaid's kiss really save you from drowning? (That is, if she doesn't bite your face off). How come the zombie can tell the future? I mean, POTC set up a world where all this magic shit exists but they're really pushing it in the fourth movie.

I'll never forget seeing Curse of the Black Pearl. My Grandparents were over and decided to get a DVD for us all to watch.

They picked Black Pearl and much fun was had by all.

The Sequals weren't bad but they weren't up to the original.

From what I've heard of 4 it's what 2 should have been. No Orlando Bland or Keira Can't act just Depp, Rush a good villain and some comic relief.

I disagree on Blackbeard, actually. Overall I think I liked the movie about as much as Doug. I mean, I was entertained, but my suspension of disbelief was cut a few times.

But the major thing I disagree with is Blackbeard. I absolutely loved him and thought of him as the best thing about the movie (him and the mermaids).
When he first entered the scene I thought he was going to be this boisterous and over-the-top menacingly pirate, and it would have been really cool for that scene, but for the entire length of the movie it would just have made him boring. I loved that he was so calm and so nonchalant as if he had nothing to fear. And he proves why, because I really believed that no one could touch him. He never yells and he is never angry; he knows that whatever happens he can deal with it. He doesn't need to go around kicking puppies all day; you know he will do anything to get what he wants, so he doesn't need to constantly make examples.
If I was a character in the movie I would be terrified to actually make him angry. If he ever started yelling you would be dead a million times over.

I also loved his magic. I thought it was really cool that it was so undefined. it is really cool that he has the ability to control the riggings of his ship and the wind in the sails. If he ever started throwing fireballs around like a mage it would just be silly.
He has some vague, undefined magic powers that are seemingly based in voodoo and centered around his ship, but that's all we know, and it makes the magic more interesting. And it might answer why he doesn't zombiefy himself: we don't know a lot about the zombies. We don't know of side effects or if they eventually fall the pieces.

Although why that one zombie was also psychic is perhaps more of a head-scratcher...

They did put a lot of myths about Blackbeard in the character. Like, the fact he does black magic and can control his ship alone, it's all in old stories. Queen Anne's Revenge is the ultimate cursed ship, very much like the Flying Dutchman, manned by demons and ghosts.

Problem is, you have to know something about Blackbeard to understand all of that. In the movie, they don't explain much. I suppose it's because Blackbeard should be misterious, his fame much more important than the truth, but maybe they should have added a little bit more.

The major problem in my opinion is that Blackbeard died quickly. They have the intention of making a sequel, it's really obvious, so why don't keep this villain? He is the Blackbeard!! The most feared of pirates!! Why Davy Jones lasted 2 movies and not Blackbeard? I don't like the 2 and 3 movies, but I enjoyed Davy Jones as a character. They could have developed Blackbeard a lot better with proper time, I was really disappointed when he died.

was I the only person who did not know this movie was even released yet?

I didn't, either.

No Black Dog Bill? awwww, you made me a saaaad panda.
I have to say, I was surprised they made another film; I mean, yes the third film established Jack goes off on another adventure, but there was a sense of it being over, a sort of "we'll leave the adventures to your imagination." Obviously money was more important and Lord knows Disney loves their sequels.

Still, I'm a fan of these films, they're good popcorn movies. And Blackbeard! AWESOME! No Keira Knightly? EVEN BETTER! I'm not sure about this Mary Sue character, I hate it when they're put in films, I'm all for love but you don't need a romantic interest to make a film great, but Jack and Barbosa are entertaining enough to distract from her.

Great review Doug, glad you're going ahead with doing two reviews, it's amazing how much you can do in a week. I didn't want the spoilers so these bonus reviews are a real plus.

I'm still on the fence about this one.
I love Pirate movies in general, I've read Treasure Island like a billion times and one of my favorite games of all time is Sid Meier's Pirates!, even back on the Commodore 64.
But while the first movie was a sweet little flick and fun to sit through, the sequels we're so jumbled and overblown. Backstabbing, fine, but in the third movie it came to the point where I said 'fuck it' and didn't give a crap anymore. You have to do a lot of things wrong to make me pissed off by a Pirate movie.
I think the director and writers just didn't get why the first movie was fun.
You have a really simple story with Bloom and Knigthley (that's been done over and over already), then Captain Sparrows stumbles in and everything goes crazy.
They should've never tried to make the second and third movie with Knightley and Bloom, because they had already gone to the crazy side. They already knew this stuff, they already had encountered zombies. Had it been a new character in every movie, you might have been able to identify with them and enjoyed the ride. Instead they tried to keep the characters interesting by showing new sides of them. But that reached the point where you couldn't believe it anymore.
So I'm glad they finally brought in a whole new character, but I think they still didn't get it. I'm looking forward to the 'wermaids', though. We had a lot of cutsey mermaids in cinema, but the original concept clearly states them as a dangerous threat. It'll be nice to see a throwback to that.
And I actually liked the 'dirt'. They make the whole Pirate community look WAY too romantic with the over-emphasis on 'freedom' here, 'kings of the sea' there. So it brings in a tiny bit of realism, because the life of a Pirate was dirty, full of murder, rape, robbery, horrible diseases and an early death.
We don't really want to see THAT, of course, but it's a nice hint.
I'll just have to wait and see. As long as it's better than 2&3, I might still like it.

He zombiefied his crew members so they wouldn't betray him. It's kind of based on Voodoo Zombies which always obeyed the masters that brought them back. That's why he wouldn't do it to himself, it wouldn't have worked.

Anyways I completely agree... Except for two things...

ONE. I love Blackbeard. He was funny, and I liked how he was actually mellow and realistic compared to the eccentric characters around him.

TWO. Hated Penelope Cruz, I started liking her character around the end of the film... but I wouldn't have cried if she had died instead of Blackbeard.

Also I liked the fact he ditched her on an island... She was annoying. Besides she'll live anyways.

1st movie: Awesome(they could have stopped with this one)
2nd movie: I left with a headache because I made the mistake of trying to figure out what was going on while watching the movie
3rd movie: enjoyed the fight scenes, was happy that Will and Elizabeth finally(well, more or less) got together(yes, I'm a hopeless romantic), but I still think they could have stopped with just the first movie
4th movie: trying to decide if I want to see it in theaters or wait and rent it.

First things first, I like that you Doug, do these complementary review where your actual thoughs are there and which I find intresting and well formulated in their on right. Thanks for doing these.

Now I haven't seen this movie, but I will, definetly. This because I like ALL the previous POTC movies, they do it without Orlando and Keira, more Barbossa (I love this characteur).
I think it won't be as good as the first one, but an enjoyable piece nevertheless.
I guess I'll find out, and I'll be back with my opinions on that later.

I liked all the pirate films and am excited to see this one. Granted, I was disappointed to hear it suffers from the same bloated, over-convoluted excess plottiness as the last two.
But I would pay money to watch Geoffrey Rush do anything. None of the other stuff matters.

Also, Blackbeard is an overrated pirate. In real life he didn't do much, he was just really good at PR. When I read the book "On Stranger Tides" I just thought, wait...he's really smart? And he can do voodoo? The hell?
Not that I mind creative license. It's just that there are SO many other fascinating real-life pirates (many of whom have cameos in Pirates 4). There really should be movies about them. And when it comes to pirates, the truth is nearly always stranger than fiction.

Blackbeard was really smart in real life. He figured out how to loot ships with minimal risk to himself and his crew, and little need to murder the opposite side, either. He managed to build a reputation as an insane, murderous maniac without a single confirmed kill under his belt - that takes some serious skill - thus getting people surrender to him without a fight, running away on lifeboats and leaving the ship for him to take. But in his last stand he also demonstrated that he actually knew how to fight after all; too bad that his crew was drunk as skunks at the time.

As ludicrously complicated Pirates 2 and 3 were, I miss Davey Jones... :( He was just friggin' awesome...

As for the Bum Review, I liked the Monty Python reference and the Sherri Stoner joke. (Had I not seen the Animaniacs Tribute I never would have gotten that.) :)

In your actual review, just one thing: I like your T-shirt.

Nice Doug, loved the 'Sherri Stoner' reference. Good call back!

I actually found this MUCH more enjoyable than both the 2nd and 3rd ones. I guess what bothered me about them was how pretentiously gloomy they were. The first one was just a fun zombie flick with a Pirate twist, but with each new movie they made they just kept trying again and again to top the grittiness the previous movie by making it darker, grimier, moodier, and it wasn't nearly as genuinely enjoyable for me because they sucked all the fun out of it.

This movie really surprised me, because it didn't do that. It had a few chilling scenes sprinkled here and there, but it ultimately broke away from this and just had fun, which made it the most enjoyable movie for me since seeing the first.