What do you mean 500 Cronkites is all I got paid to do this movie?
Resident Evil (Benzaie)
Written by Benzaie Sunday, 26 July 2009 00:44
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Comments (113)
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07.25.2009 - 20:51 | Coldguy
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07.25.2009 - 20:55 | Tren
Hey, I actually found the Resident Evil movie entertaining!
Well, it completely slaughtered of the Resident Evil canon... other than that, entertaining.
...it had zombies!
ENTERTAINING!
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07.25.2009 - 20:55 | Raistlinhawke
that....was terrible.
I'm actually going to buy that movie on DVD now...because of this video....you should be ashamed
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07.25.2009 - 20:57 | TheNemesisAlexThats... pretty much the whole movie.
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07.25.2009 - 21:02 | SengAll of the movies in this series were pretty meh IMHO.
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07.25.2009 - 21:08 | jnywest
The first RE wasn't too bad at all. I like it a lot and still watch it to this day. The sequels...they blow donkey balls....
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07.25.2009 - 21:28 | mwong04
didn't watch it but I liked Extinction
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07.25.2009 - 22:50 | rattlehead91
Oh no! That's the worst one by far.
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07.25.2009 - 21:42 | YigSnakeDaddyMary Sue: The Movie
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08.01.2009 - 10:32 | ChiyoYaiden
You pretty much nailed it! XD
Thats why I'm glad Alice isnt in the
games. :pinch:
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07.25.2009 - 21:45 | Lotus Prince
You think this is bad? Watch Extinction. That is the biggest piece of shit ever. Alice gets pyrokinetic powers for no reason. Oh yeah, also, the best way to fight the guys who infect you with just one bite is...melee combat, of course. Because it's EXTREEEEEEME.
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10.09.2009 - 18:44 | Big_Jace1lotus prince alice didnt gain pyrokinetic powers, there was a flame thrower
mounted on one of the vehicles, it accidently got knocked into the path of
alice, she protected herself in a barrier of sorts and her kinetic energy
exploded. causing a double possibly triple flame mass
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07.25.2009 - 21:52 | Richard WeskerI hated Resident Evil. Maybe it's because I'm a huge fan of the games or a hater of shitty cinema, or both, but I found the film to be extremely lacking in performances, dialogue, atmosphere and horror. They made a fucking action movie with zombies in it, although it fails awesomely as both an action movie and a zombie movie.
The sad thing is, it's not over yet. They are in the process of making Resident Evil Afterlife (I'm purposefully not calling it "Resident Evil 4", so as not to sully the good name of that excellent survival-horror game). Eventually, Resident Evil is going to become like the Saw franchise with 18 movies under its belt.
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07.26.2009 - 16:16 | Guitarhero1000
Hey Richard. Rememebr the first Resident evil game had that guy named wesker. LOL.
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07.28.2009 - 09:06 | Richard WeskerYeah, Albert Wesker's been in a few of the games, starting with the first. I'll never get over the fact that he was wearing sunglasses at night in that game. :lol:
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07.28.2009 - 18:06 | StyxHe wears his sunglasses at night, so he can... er... see the redness in his eyes?
Meh. I didn't think the movie was bad. All you have to do is completely separate it from resident evil, and it becomes a mediocre zombie movie. Hurrah!
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07.29.2009 - 23:22 | Richard WeskerEh, it didn't take much for me to seperate it from the game series, actually. Putting aside the fact that none of the main characters from the games were in it, the movie just didn't [i]feel[/i] like the game series, at all. They really are 2 seperate entities, but even then, I just didn't like the movie on its own merits. To each their own, though.
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08.02.2009 - 06:25 | StyxYeah, they did ruin claire...
I'm just a sucker for zombies.
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07.25.2009 - 22:42 | DrGero
Summed up nicely.
I love Milla Jovovich. And I liked the Resident Evil game(s), which the movie is certainly not like.
When I watched the movie these two things fought, and I'm now of the opinion that it's a decent, though flawed movie.
Worth a rent I'd say.
#2 I really, [i]really [/i]disliked, the same with #3. But #3 did have a great outfit for Milla, so I'm a little torn.
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07.26.2009 - 16:53 | Lotus PrinceApocalypse was watchable, especially because Nemesis looked surprisingly good. That kung fu fight at the end was pretty dumb, though. Also, turning Jill Valentine into a simple cameo appearance who contributed nothing to anything was a big mistake.
3 was unforgivable.
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07.25.2009 - 22:51 | rattlehead91Resident Evil is a pretty decent film. It really has nothing to do with the games but the movie isn't bad.
Resident Evil 2 at least incorporates more of the Resident Evil story with some scenes from the games and more characters. It has better special effects than the first movie and the acting (while still pretty mediocre) is less shitty. It's certainly my favorite RE movie.
Resident Evil 3 is just abysmal. I don't even want to talk about it.
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07.25.2009 - 23:38 | Saiyafan
Wow, for once I have to disagree with the mighty Benzaie! I actually really like this movie, I thought the acting was good, I genuinely cared for some of the characters (why did the black guy have to die?!) and the final scenes had me scratching at the screen for a sequel. Good amount of action, too.
I will admit some of the scares were cheap (face against the glass in particular) and that Alice is apparently playing on GOD MODE.
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[quote=Saiyafan]Wow, for once I have to disagree with the mighty Benzaie! I actually really like this movie, I thought the acting was good, I genuinely cared for some of the characters (why did the black guy have to die?!) and the final scenes had me scratching at the screen for a sequel. Good amount of action, too.
I will admit some of the scares were cheap (face against the glass in particular) and that Alice is apparently playing on GOD MODE.[/quote]
Thank you for summing up my feelings. :cheer:
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[quote=Richard Wesker]The sad thing is, it's not over yet. They are in the process of making Resident Evil Afterlife (I'm purposefully not calling it "Resident Evil 4", so as not to sully the good name of that excellent survival-horror game). Eventually, Resident Evil is going to become like the Saw franchise with 18 movies under its belt.[/quote]
And Paul W. S. Anderson is back directing it. Because he wants to make sure everyone knows who his hot wife (Milla Jovovich) is...
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07.26.2009 - 02:11 | Richard WeskerYeah, I heard that he was back in the director's chair for Afterlife.
I just want this series of films to be done and over with so we can get a franchise reboot, one that hopefully sticks to the games more. As it is, we'll be seeing Milla in several more movies, until she's old to the point of her tits dragging on the floor.
Actually, I should amend that last statement. [i]Others[/i] will be seeing Milla in several more movies. I was done with paying for this crap after the first film, and only just recently saw the other 2 thanks to a friend loaning me his Resident Evil Trilogy box set. They are pretty godawful in their own right.
If I ever get around to doing video reviews, all 3 films will be on the chopping block for sure.
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[quote=Lotus Prince]You think this is bad? Watch Extinction. That is the biggest piece of shit ever. Alice gets pyrokinetic powers for no reason. Oh yeah, also, the best way to fight the guys who infect you with just one bite is...melee combat, of course. Because it's EXTREEEEEEME.[/quote]
That and the fact that she is immune to the infection, is particularly good at hand to hand fighting, and hasn't got much in the way of ammunition so she doesn't actually have any choice. Oh, and the reason for the pyrokinetic was explained.
I really liked the RE movies, though I'm never played the games, which might have had something to do with it.
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07.26.2009 - 00:41 | ScreamingDoomEh, I rather liked Resident Evil 1 and 2. The key is not to think of them as either zombie movies or Resident Evil movies.
Just think of them as action movies that happen to have zombies in them. After that, they're quite entertaining.
The best parts for me in both movies were the beginnings. In the first one, where the computer kills everyone in the complex (I laughed so much at the woman who got beheaded by the elevator) and in the second where society in Raccoon City completely collapses thanks to zombies.
The third movie was terrible, though. The only good part in it was Holographic Wesker and Japanese Zombie Salaryman.
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07.26.2009 - 16:55 | Lotus PrinceActually, the holographic Wesker part was one of the more irritating things for me. He came off as some cocky bastard who looked extremely full of himself. In the games, Wesker was almost devoid of a personality, and his only focus was the mission.
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07.26.2009 - 00:50 | JustSomeDude
I already have the movie on DVD!... and i never actually watch it. Just that one first time.
I do like seeing her crawling though :woohoo:
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07.26.2009 - 01:18 | M.A.D.MikE[ATF]
Wtf? The first RE movie was awesome! The sequels were lamer but nevertheless not too shabby.
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07.27.2009 - 04:13 | WerminYour taste is awful
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07.26.2009 - 01:19 | Airguitar Demon
I actually liked this movie. As far as zombie movies go, this was not bad, thankfully it wasn't Snyder's Dawn of the Dead.
In terms of videogame movies it's decent, miles ahead of the likes of Mortal Kombat.
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[quote=Saiyafan]Alice is apparently playing on GOD MODE.[/quote]
I laughed until I spilled bong water all over my keyboard and lap.
Also, yeah, I liked the movies. I liked the games. I know how to separate universes. Just a little something comics taught me. Plus I'm sorry, but I got a bad case of "would give my left anything to fuck Mila Jovovich stupid" disease.
My hope is that while the games are getting worse, the movies might coalesce into something epic. Dichotomous symbiotic of fates, as it were.
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07.26.2009 - 02:07 | NisseH
This must have been the first 5 second movies that anyone from tgwtg is talking
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07.26.2009 - 02:07 | boberthavok
I love the games and I like the movie. There is nothing wrong if you enjoy the movies. It is just like anything based off something. You will NEVER get a perfect adaption of anything not original.
For example
I hate how the TMNT cartoon from the 80's ruined the comics. But I know it is also just an adaption of it. It is just a different take on it. It is the same with RE and its movies.
Suck up and deal you don't like them don't watch or talk about them and your life will be happier
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07.26.2009 - 02:15 | Moshtank
lol NUDE SCENES MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER! :huh:
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07.26.2009 - 02:41 | thevoltage
Thats a good one haha.
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07.26.2009 - 02:54 | NickTHPS
I liked the second movie more. It atleast incorporated some Elements from the Resident Evil games.
Resident evil 1 on the other hand was.. strange.
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07.26.2009 - 03:05 | Cinemasquerade
I like the first Resident Evil and Milla Jovovich is great
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The actual main characters in the games are put aside and are almost not even main characters themselves because of someone the movies decided to call the heroin. Movie wise their alright i guess just fact they got nothing to do with resident evil game storyline you know ... the fucking reason they based the movie on in the 1st place!
Simple as it gets if someone bases a movie on a game and don't even try and follow the storyline then it fails miserably.
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07.26.2009 - 16:57 | Lotus PrinceThat REALLY made me mad. How many fucking Resident Evil characters are there? Seriously, how many? Tons. That's how many. Don't like Chris? Well, in RE1 you could play as Chris or Jill. Don't like Jill either? Fine. There's Rebecca, Claire, Leon, and even Billy.
So who the hell is Alice, and more importantly, who the hell thought that she would be a good idea?
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