"The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford" in 5 Seconds (Film Brain)

(109 votes, average 3.93 out of 5)
Comments (50)
  • jseamus  - Sooo true
    Pretty accurate, I have to say. I really liked that movie by the way. It was bloody long, though. BTW, that other guy was FIRST.

    [Bring on the flak]
  • EvenSteven
    It's all in the title.
  • 5SecondMovieswillbereborn
    Rofl, I didn't put "First" because I knew that not ONLY would it make me an IDIOT, but also, the "First" guy was like #3 on the MSN top 10 internet jerks list, so yeah...
  • adrasl300
    Saying "First" makes you an "IDIOT"?
    Is that scientifically proven?
    Come on you were first! Admit it.
    And you intended to be first.
    who would write such a small insubstantial comment as "interesting..."
    If you didnt want to be first?
  • LunarLycan
    avatar
    HA.

    Always love these things. They show how easy a very looooooonnng movie can be summed up in less than a minute.
  • Coldguy
    avatar
    Wait "TAOJJBTCRF"...good thing they went with the long title.
  • Rimmer
    avatar
    Sounded to me like he was yelling "HEART!" instead of "COWARD!". >_>
  • parfai  - re:
    avatar
    [quote=Rimmer]Sounded to me like he was yelling "HEART!" instead of "COWARD!". >_>[/quote]i knowrite.
    That Mattee keeps poping up everywhere :p
  • chefprotoss
    No bullshit, I am actually related to Jesse James. His brother's kid is a cousin's cousin etc... distant but yes blood related.
  • Poipoi  - re:
    avatar
    [quote=Rimmer]Sounded to me like he was yelling "HEART!" instead of "COWARD!". >_>[/quote]


    Now I have a old wet style captain planet in my head lol

    But yeah thats 100 percent the whole film
  • OrangesofDeath  - Awesome job. :D
    avatar
    I wish this 5 second movie was out a year ago. I wouldn't have bothered watching the film. It was long, and according to me, very boring.
  • Veridian Lupine
    avatar
    so throughout that whole movie its some guy on stage talking about how he basically snuck up and shot Jessie James in the back of the head?
    yeah that pretty much is downright cowardly, and pathetic too since is that really something to be proud of? considering the time period and all.

    Might as well say, "...then i punched out granny while she was sneezing into her hanky. an that's how i became the geriatric tomcat."
  • DeathsHead419  - To be fair
    avatar
    Jesse James was planning on taking the man and his brother out to be killed that night. And Jesse was a coward who frequently stole from unarmed people, so, let's examine out standards.
  • S-3
    avatar
    This movie sucks. Nuff' Said, Film Brain, and Thank you BTW.
  • Crosshair
    avatar
    Film Brain your 5 seconds movies kick major ass!
  • Roger Mexico
    avatar
    This movie is awesome.

    Nice "In Five Seconds" though.


  • thechadway
    To be honest Film Brain, this five second video was great, until that last little comment you made at the end.

    After watching your series Bad Movie Beatdown a few times over, I've noticed that you seem to have a problem with yelling at the top of your voice, and so instead you tend to do a fake yell, which I hate to say is just not funny at all. It just makes you look like a bad actor. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings, I'm just trying to give you some constructive criticism.

    Other than that, this video was spot on.
  • Film Brain
    avatar
    It was intentionally meant to sound weak and high-pitched - it was an attempt at trying to impersonate Casey Affleck.
  • mattjindrak
    That beginning makes me larf so hard. "Don't dat pitcher look dustyBOOM!" LMAO!
  • theabsementbasement
    That had better editing than the actual movie. It was a decent movie, but WAY too long by about half.
  • machine134
    The damn ad was longer that the video. :(
  • Bnightwing
    The ads get annoying.
  • ssobulldog  - ohh
    So there's a 15 second Hornitos comercial before the 5 second Video..
    Hmm,,thats fucked up. :?: :?: :?:
  • Pirate_Mike
    avatar
    At least it wasn't a 30 second annoying ass best buy advert you've seen at least 47 times.
  • Grenmoyo
    Hey....maybe thats why it wasn't released here...
  • JustLoveMusic  - Cool
    [color=lime]Cool, B) [/color]
  • mastex  - Gaaahd!
    The commercial before the clip is driving me insane!
  • mindfuck
    Doug, do yourself a favor and get rid of the commercials for 5 second movies. Nobody is going to sit through 30 seconds of commercials for 5 seconds of footage. It's a ripoff. It's like if Two and a Half Men had 2 hours of commercials (granted, that's not too far off). I will not watch new 5 second movies as long as they continue to be preceded with some crap 6 times their length.
  • mindfuck  - 30 second commercials for 5 seconds of clip is a r
    Having commercials before Nostalgia Critic and Ask ThatGuy are fine bc their length makes it worth the 30 second wait, but for 5 sec movies, it's just not worth it.
  • mindfuck
    I see by the previous comments that I am not alone in this sentiment. When the ad is 6 times the length of the video, people are going to decide it's just not worth it. Doug, if you don't remove ads from the 5 sec movies, people are going to stop watching them.
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