Top 10 Father Ted Gags Quickie

(59 votes, average 4.56 out of 5)

Follow Welshy on Twitter

Doug's Official Facebook Page

Preorder The Uncanny Valley now!

Comments (86)
  • Colme  - Nice!
    avatar
    Father Ted is awesome! I couldn't tell you how excited my father was when he discovered the Father Ted - One Foot in the Grave crossover episode.

    We all miss you Dermot Morgan.
  • Kruge  - Those were nice moments... :)
    avatar
    I'd have only a few other ones to suggest:

    - the scene in which Father Ted wants to kick the Bishop in the behind - because he lost a bet: He points out some interesting floorboard near the window (upstairs), gets the Bishop to bow down to see it better, stands behind him, raises his leg, takes aim - and then the Bishop's aide turns around, causing Ted to panic, short circuit and jump out of the (closed) window. http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=x72QxIJjIiA - (starts at 3:30)

    - "The Ants are back, Ted!" - nuff said. One of the very first scenes I ever saw and I knew immediately that I'd love this show: http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=WuUqrJZ6S2Y

    - from the episode in which they go to the "mainland" - the old priest (sorry, forgot his name) in search of a pub ("DRINK!") wanders into an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting (because "Alcohol" is the only thing he can make out on the sign at the door). The AA people are somehow impressed by this "dear old man". Later he finally makes it to a real pub, and orders when one of the AA people comes walking by, sees him through the pub window and jumps in to "save" him from the evil alcohol and takes away the whisky: "Even when it hurts, you have to..." *CUT* to an ambulance speeding along the road. http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=Hrj4qWg6Cko - starts at 1:10
  • Welshy
    avatar
    Lol, I was really tempted to put the Jack gag in. If I'd gone into a longer list with honourable mentions, it would def have been put on there.
  • Kruge
    avatar
    anyways, that was quite the awesome series. :)

    And just like Red Dwarf it never made it over here to Germany, which is a shame...

    ... or maybe not, because then it would most likely have been dubbed into German, and either they'd have had them speak straight German *or* they somehow would have given them a "funny" German accent (like for example a north German one, because it's at the sea too) and while both *could* have worked if done absolutely right I doubt it.
  • Kruge  - "Sarah Jane Smith" died?
    avatar
    Awwwww. :-/
  • Gurning Chimp
    avatar
    My favourite gag was the one where they're on the plane and it's crashing, all the priests are discussing what to do, when the one played by Graham Linehan stands up and suggests they pray. All the other priests just stare at him and he meekly sits down.

    I also love Dougal in charge of a funeral, I'm actually surprised that didn't make an appearance!
  • brick mooncode
    avatar
    http://en.wikiquote.org/ wiki/Father_Ted
  • Welshy
    avatar
    What for?
  • Axel Osbourne
    avatar
    I'm sorry for apologizing on the Scream video, it was wrong.
  • Welshy
    avatar
    Ah ha! You are completely forgiven. I take alcohol and chocolates.
  • Gilly82  - Best moment
    avatar
    Mine would have to be the time all the priests get lost in the lingerie dept in the shopping center, I think that was the christmas special or the episode with Pat Mustard when Mrs Doyle said "Pat was wondering if he could put his massive tool in my box" obviously he was refering to his wrench which was too big for the float :D
  • EpicFish
    avatar
    I've never seen this show before (being stateside and all) but moments five through one were hilarious! I need to find some torrents of Father Ted.
  • Welshy
    avatar
    Def do, for me, it's up their with Fawlty Towers (Top Ten coming soon) as a show that can make me laugh no matter how many times I've watched it.
  • Taufiq91
    avatar
    You're all eejits!

    Father Ted was great. The Eurovision episode was my favourite episode, and was one of the greatest moments in European comedy.

    RIP Dermot Morgan.
  • The_Awesometeer
    avatar
    Seems interesting. Would be nice to seem a little more of a clip to get us more into the characters or something for us who are new to the show. Like I am assuming the show is called Father Ted but a little intro to what the show is might be nice. Other then that it looks funny, I may check it out
  • Welshy
    avatar
    I understand the post and I will eventually cover the shows in a "Why I like" but for the quickies, I'm just hoping the gags will sell the show and tempt people into checking it out. Eventually I will have a "Why I like Father Ted" etc for all eps that have a Top Ten quickie.
  • The Hardcore Kid
    avatar
    What else can I say except:

    DRINK FECK ARSE GIRLS!!! :D
  • infernorage1  - Awesome
    Definitely one of my favorites of the Britcoms out there just behind the Blackadder series.

    My personal favorite gag is the Raffle Car which you can see here:

    http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=LrtOMLHx7cc
  • quizzabella
    avatar
    Great video Welshy.
    The Eurovision episode is still my favourite - "my lovely horse, running through the fields..." genius.
    The "Speed" spoof where Dougal is very slowly driving towards the big bunch of boxes is really funny too.
    http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=L90BduGKuTo
  • Goatboy
    avatar
    "ALL THOSE WOMEN WERE IN THE NIP!"
  • leviadragon99
    avatar
    Ehhh... I dunno, most of these didn't seem too funny to me. Hell, I found Welshy's intro to be more entertaining.

    I guess I'm just not to fond of the "Hurr Durr, I is so stupid" type of comedy.
  • dennett316
    avatar
    That's not what Father Ted is at all, you really should try to check it out it's hugely funny.
  • superneku
    avatar
    Hilarious. Absolutely classic. Some great choices there Welshy ;)
  • kkhs
    Father Dougal in general is one of the funniest characters television. Just the idea that a dimwit atheist managed to get a degree in theology and become a priest itself of funnier than anything he does in the show.
  • chrisp
    avatar
    Amazing list for one of the best shows. you missed out two gags in my opinion, such as the father Larry duff phone call running gag. then the diagram to explain to Dougal differences between reality and dreams.
  • ThatGuyWithTheSaxophone
    Awesome! :-) This format is really interesting and I would like to see more of it!

    Father Hackett with his brick in No. 4 reminded me of DW...
  • HamsterMan
    Nice list, but I was surprised you didn't include Dougal's description of "the beast".

    - And instead of a mouth it got four arses
  • el_zilcho
    And when he yawns, it sounds like Liam Neeson chasing a bunch of hens.
  • SassiKitty  - Wonderful
    avatar
    Dude, Father Ted's one of my all time favourite shows, the "small and far away" bit never gets old, but the ones I'll always love are

    Ted "falling" down the stairs in "The Plague"

    Sister Assumpta being introduced to Dougal again and he forgets until he remembered cos he was wearing a blue jumper

    The entire episode of "New Jack City" (has to be one of my real favourites)

    Henry Sellers drunk

    Ted trying to fix the dent in the car

    there's so many moments I can't choose, I just love the whole show itself, wonderful stuff and great gags you chose
  • squareeyes  - Good Choices
    avatar
    I don't really have a top ten list but my favourite episode is the speed parody, the one where Dougal becomes a mlkman.
    you no what i'm off to watch it :)

    Great video welshy!
  • navvyshanekar
    avatar
    I'll try and keep my favourites to ten purely in quote. In no particular order.

    -Father Damo & Dougal playing soccer over the credits

    -"Fupp off ya pedrophile"

    -The old woman comparing Craggy Island to Boyz in da Hood after the whistle gets stolen.

    -Dougal: Its like the time you did that Stephen Hawking impression at the talent show
    Ted: Who'd have thought he'd show up... I tell ya he can move fast in the wheelchair when he's angry

    -The whole episode, New Jack City, where Jack is replaced by an even more evil priest

    Best bits include:
    Dougal: Who would he be like? I spose it'd be Hitler or one of them fellas
    Ted: Come on now Dougal I don't think Hitler would be blasting Jungle music at 4 in the morning

    When they're at St Clabberts "feck, arse, drink, girls, I really shouldn't be here"

    -The shocked crowd at the sheep championship, every time they murmur in horror someone (who I think is writer Graham Linehan) shouts "Fuckin Hell"

    -"Feckin Greeks, they invented gayness"

    -"Ride me sideways was another one"

    -Eoin McLove: I could have you killed.

    -Dougal trying to order food at the Garda station

    -All of Father Noel Furlongs stuff especially the "probably off to get some heroin" line

    -YOU LET DOUGAL DO THE FUNERAL? cut to: disaster scene in the graveyard & the hearse exploding

    -We'll be famous like Nelson Mandela & his mad wife

    And Finally

    -The My Lovely horse music video mainly because it's a shot for shot remake of this http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=VLiTkF1XvF4& feature=related

    I think I did more than ten, but I can't help it, I'm Irish and Father Ted is like the only cool thing we've (not really) produced.
  • Cferra
    avatar
    So, that's Father Ted? Awesome! British comedy is more than Monty Python and Mr. Bean. I'm glad you're exposing us to the full gamut of what the UK has to offer. Nicely done!
  • Gurning Chimp
    avatar
    Father Ted is Irish comedy. You don't ever want to call an Irish person British.
  • Welshy
    avatar
    Irish dude, IRISH!!!
  • brick mooncode
    avatar
    Took you long enough to correct it, there were people who made the same mistake higher up the page.
  • Shinigami
    avatar
    Sorry Welsh but I didn't find those funny at all.
  • Welshy
    avatar
    Lol, no need to be sorry Shin :)
  • Shaded Spriter
    avatar
    The one piece I would end is the two visual gags at the end of the Airplane episode.

    1) Him Clinging to the landing gear in the front room.

    2) Father Jack stuck in the tree with the Drink cart both on parachutes.
  • el_zilcho
    "If theres 100m priests in the world, and 10% of them are paedophiles, thats still only 10m." -Ted

    That or:

    "Clit Power, what does that mean? I knew a Father Clint Power once, maybe she's having a go at him." -Ted

    Or the Windy Shepard Henderson conversation.

    "I'm a Bishop,you'll address me by my proper title, you little bollacks!" -Bishop Brennan

    "I'm supposed to be in Rome tomorrow, for an audience with the Holy Father.

    Its ok, they repeat those all the time." Bishop Brennan and Dougle.

    "Didnt you say he had a trial with Liverpool?

    No Dougle, he was ON trial IN Liverpool" -Ted and Dougle
  • el_zilcho
    "Hey Ted, look at this one, doesnt he look like that fella, Harvey Keitel?

    Dougle come on, thats ridiculous how could he...oh my god, its uncanny"
  • Chochip
    avatar
    I loved Father Ted!!
  • Destro9
    avatar
    Father Ted was one the greatest IRISH comedies of all time.It only gets lumped in as Brit comedy as the show was produced by Channel 4 and the interior scenes were largely shot in London.


    Eoin Mclove:"I have a confession to make.I have no willy ".
    Tom,after he robs the Post Office:It was me money ,i just didnt want to fill out the forms".

    Father Dougal: Hello Len.
    Bishop Brennan: Don't call me Len, you little prick. I'm a bishop!
    Father Dougal: Oh right. Well done.

    Had to copy pasta this one,forgive me:

    Mrs Doyle: I never thought we'd have anyone like her staying here.
    Father Ted: Hm? Oh, Miss Clarke, yes, it's very exciting isn't it? Famous novelist, here.
    Mrs Doyle: You've never read any of her books, have you, father?
    Father Ted: Actually, I'm a bit of a fan. That's where I was the other day - at her book signing.
    Mrs Doyle: Well, I'm very surprised to hear that, father. I didn't think you'd like that sort of thing. I read a bit of one of them once. God, I couldn't finish it. The language, unbelievable!
    Father Ted: It's a bit gritty, but that's the modern world, Mrs. Doyle.
    Mrs Doyle: Ah, it's a bit much for me, father. "Feck" this and "feck" that.
    Father Ted: [uncomfortable] Yes, Mrs. Doyle.
    Mrs Doyle: "You big bastard". Oh, dreadful language! "You big hairy arse", "You big fecker". Fierce stuff! And of course, the f-word, father, the bad f-word, worse than "feck" - you know the one I mean.
    Father Ted: [becoming exasperated] Yes, I do, Mrs. Doyle.
    Mrs Doyle: "Eff you". "Eff your 'effin' wife". Oh, I don't know why they have to use language like that. "I'll stick this 'effin' pitchfork up your hole", oh, that was another one, oh, yes!
    Father Ted: I see what you mean, Mrs. Doyle.
    Mrs Doyle: "Bastard" this and "bastard" that, you can't move for the bastards in her novels! It's wall-to-wall bastards!
    Father Ted: Is it, Mrs. Doyle?
    [taking her arm and steering her out of the room]
    Father Ted: Anyway...
    Mrs Doyle: "You bastard!" You fecker!" "You bollocks!" "Get your bollocks out of my face!" It was terrible.
    Father Ted: [finally gets her through the door and closes it] Yes, you go and prepare for the nuns.
    Mrs Doyle: "Ride me sideways" was another one!
  • Welshy
    avatar
    Always like it when Len calls Dougal little bollocks as well.
  • Dude
    avatar
    You started off quite well Welshy (small and far away and the blackboard one for example), but towards the end, there were others I personally would have put there. As you said, we all have our personal favs), so in no particular order.

    Speed 3 - "TED, YOU FORGOT YOUR BRICK"

    Speed 3 - "THOSE WOMEN WERE IN THE NIP"

    Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading - That scene where Ted is explaining to Dougal that they have met Sister Assumpta before. And all these amazing things happened to Dougal and he doesn't remember, only remembering with "you were wearing your blue jumper"

    Any scene with Father Larry Duff

    A Christmassy Ted - "A load of people in a stable, it's the one thing I didn't expect"

    Flight into Terror - "What am I doing on the second wheel"

    Tentacles of Doom - "that would be an ecumenical matter".
  • Welshy
    avatar
    I always loved Dougal seeing Ted as a giant roller skate too :)
Only registered users can write comments!

Latest Videos

NC: Top 11 Good SW Prequels

Watch Video

NChick: Game of Thrones S4E2

Watch Video

Shaun K: Conception II

Watch Video

Lotus Prince: Snatcher P10-12

Watch Video

Linkara: Red Hood #1

Watch Video

Sage: Legend of Lemnear

Watch Video

Maven: Only Lovers Left Alive

Watch Video

Suede: SOC - Trailer Trash or?

Watch Video

Adventure Time: Hard Easy

Watch Video

BB: Smurfs 2

Watch Video

LT: 5 Hollywood Questions

Watch Video

MikeJ: Pedi Pro Deluxe

Watch Video

BTS: NC Foodfight

Watch Video

Linkara: LPPO Parts 15 & 16

Watch Video

Lupa: Charmed Season 8 P7-9

Watch Video

Brad: The Raid 2

Watch Video

Shut Up and Talk: Lindsay Ellis

Watch Video

Nash: Crazy Spanking Monkey

Watch Video

Brad: Oculus & Draft Day

Watch Video

Diamanda: Noah

Watch Video

WMR: Fruits Basket

Watch Video

Shaun K: TW Rant About Win 8

Watch Video

Nerd: Ep 109: Captain America

Watch Video

Todd: All of Me by John Legend

Watch Video

Paw: LP QfG3 Parts 7 & 8

Watch Video

MikeJ: Living on a Budget Days 6-7

Watch Video

ChaosD1: Wildstar

Watch Video

Brad: RB - Frankenhood

Watch Video

Adventure Time: Ignition Point

Watch Video

NChick: ID vs WotW

Watch Video

Brad: Black Love

Watch Video

Film Brain: Rio 2

Watch Video

MikeJ: Living on a Budget Days 4-5

Watch Video

Lesbian Talk: Episode 53

Watch Video

Lotus Prince: Snatcher P7-9

Watch Video

Adventure Time: Who Would Win

Watch Video

Brad: Ninja Champion

Watch Video

MikeJ: Ghostbusters 2

Watch Video

Film Brain: A Long Way Down

Watch Video

Phelous: BZ - Pegasus

Watch Video

Shaun K: Disney Magical World

Watch Video

Nerd: Muppets Most Wanted

Watch Video

Blog Categories

What's Up? (136)
Sports (264)
News (272)
Book Reviews (521)
Funny (559)
Top # Lists (734)
Animation (865)
Wrestling (969)
Movies (1029)
Anime (1044)
Thoughts (1119)
Comics (1133)
Misc Reviews (1162)
Music (1245)
Video Reviews (1787)
Film Review (2607)
Uncategorized (3959)
Video Games (4911)
Old Blogs (15357)