Pop Song Reviews - Payphone by Maroon 5

(403 votes, average 4.94 out of 5)
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Image art by Krin

Comments (103)
  • abyssion1337
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    I don't like pop music that much, but I like your reviews.
  • JumpyBeaver
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    Shitty pop music helps make his reviews funny, since he chops them down.
  • Ohsha  - Falling Down
    I hadn't heard this song before. "Maroon 5" it's going to be bad. "feat Wiz Khalifa" really bad.

    Pigs'll shoot anyone. "innocent cops" don't be silly Todd.

    Tomorrow&borrow can be ryhmed fine. This failure doesn't prove it impossible.

    Moves like Jagger's more annoying than Payphone.
  • Undertaker91
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    thats exactly why i like his vids, because i hate pop music
  • PublicEnemy
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    Well, take note, Todd doesnt hate Pop music, he loves it
  • katwalk
    With these music videos there seems to bee an implication that phones = murder.
  • Skippy5393
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    You're one of about 3 reviewers on this site who can consistently make me laugh in EVERY video. Keep up the fantastic work Todd. :) Maroon 5 is... not my favorite band. Glad to see someone tackled this song haha.

    EDIT: I didn't even notice this the first time through but... was that a Verizon advertisement that just blitzed past? Lawl.
  • ModernMRStudios
    Now I'm curious...Who are the other two?
  • Camunt  - All of My Hate.
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    I hate this song. So very, very much. Songs About Jane is one of my favorite albums. It was edgy but melodic, clever and catchy for me to listen to. I really enjoyed it. "Misery" honestly didn't stick to me that much. Then I heard "Moves Like Jagger" and I gave up. "Payphone" is an abomination. Maybe my feelings are stronger because it sounds like you (Todd) were never a particular fan of Maroon 5 to begin with, but I am -furious- about this direction they're going in.

    At least according to NChick's video, even Hanson is still a band and they're still making music, and doing alright for themselves, to boot. I would much rather see Maroon 5 take that route. Much, much, much rather.
  • Sewblon
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    This review makes me feel like a Jackass for driving a push-to-start car.
  • Scorpio-Kitty
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    I love this review. The music video doesn't make sense and I love the "what's a payphone" line. Secondly if he's trying to call home why did he spent "all of his change" to call her to bitch about the fact he has no change to call home :/
  • Lord Seth
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    Good video as usual. I've actually really gotten into pop music thanks to your videos, so now I actually know these songs going into them.

    I will say that The Key of Awesome's parody of this song (making it about Game of Thrones) does a lot to justify this song's existence, at least to me.
  • scarras
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    I absolutely hate pop music and I love seeing your reviews so I can gain a sense of why
  • sister_water_spirit  - song
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    ok so you may or may not be a fan of the movie the hunger games but could you do a review of the song taylor swift had on the radio for a while that was supposedly based n the movie?
  • SilverDreamer
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    While I do like the song itself, I detest Wiz Khalifa's verse, and the music video is beyond stupid. Of course, the actual music video doesn't even compare to the lyrics video on the Maroon 5 Vevo. Ignoring the fact that it's supposed to be kind of campy, the art is crap and looks like it was thrown together in a few minutes, and the plot of it is even worse. "Okay, so he's a singing superhero...and his girlfriend went off with another guy...and he saved the world...wait, the other guy is himself? What?!"

    A hilarious review, as per usual, great as always (especially the "What's a payphone" bit) and please forgive me for my rant.
  • TheBookGeek
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    See, I entertain myself with Khalifa's verse by pretending he's singing to Adam and Adam's singing to him. It makes the song a lot more interesting in my opinion
  • ChickNTheBox
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    That was the first thing I noticed about this.....the song and the video make NO sense together. XD I was like "Uhhh...wtf does a bank robbery and him helping some girl out and into the set of an action movie have to do with the songs content?" Bumkiss, that's what.
  • LikaLaruku
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    $5 says there's a mashup of Lady Gaga's Telephone with this. ::check Youtube:: Sure enough, someone did, & surprise surprise...it's not very good.
  • Cinnamon Scudworth
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    "That man's voice is like a frog choking on a harmonica."

    I couldn't have put it better. Maroon 5 isn't so terrible that I have to switch the radio off; they're not a Nickelback level of torture, but they're not talented in any way either. They're just....not good.
  • Gothka13
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    OMG, I hatttttte this song. So glad you got around to reviewing this particular song. Sometimes I wake up to this from my radio and I just want to smash it into pieces for waking me up from that man's vocal cords.
  • TragicGuineaPig
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    Hey, now! Pay phones did play a major role in one of the more significant side quests in Arkham City.

    Maybe this guy will get murdered by Zsasz!
  • Steve Potter
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    The Beatles sold out, too.

    http://www.cracked.com/ article_19061_5-artistic- geniuses-who-only-became- great-after-selling- out.html
  • Emradrig
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    Wait a second... Adam Levine is calling from a payphone, Wiz Khalifa changed the number on his phone, I don't think either specify that the person to whom they are singing is female;
    It could be implied that the song is about an affair they had with each other!
  • RianLe
    Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only person who thought this. Just look at this section of Wiz Khalifa's part:

    Telling me the chances I blew up
    Or whatever you call it,
    Switch the number to my phone
    So you never could call it,
    Don't need my name on my shirt,
    You can tell it I'm ballin.

    The song makes much more sense if they're talking to eachother. The woman in the video confuses the plot, but the lyrics by themselves seem to clearly point at male/male relationship.
  • JoeCat  - 3 minds think alike.
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    I thought the same thing as well. Intentional by Whiz Khalifa & Maroon5 or no, Whiz's portion of the song comes across as a 'reply' to Adam/Maroon5's portion rather than a 'compliment'.

    And since the video's rather nonsensical as it is, the presence of the woman doesn't really damage the image of WizKhalifa-x-AdamLevine much.
  • Dags
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    I've sort of come full circle with Maroon 5.

    I started off disliking the heavy romance angle. There's something about an attractive person singing love songs that always makes me suspicious of studio meddling. "She Will Be Loved" is kind of simple and saccharine, but "This Love" is interesting. For as common as they are, we don't get enough songs that deal with on-again/off-again relationships.

    I think Payphone is very listenable. It's very easy to have it on the radio and sing along to mindlessly. Which is really it's biggest problem, it's completely mindless.

    It has the same problem as Timbaland's "Carry Out", thought not quite so extreme. It's like someone came up with a good melody and said "this'll chart well, slap some lyrics on and ship it out".
  • Moon Spirit
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    I'll admit, I only liked Maroon 5 when they debuted. Now they become like this? What is going on?

    And now, I'm stuck with connecting dots between "Moves Like Jagger" and the movie "Magic Mike."
  • leviadragon99
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    Y'know... the weird thing about this one is that I could have sworn I'd watched you do a review of it before, intense Deja-vu right here.
  • Danthegiant  - BaDamn
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    I logged in for the first time since creating m profile to tell you...

    This was the best review I've seen on this site in a couple of years. Totally enjoyed it.. One of your best fo sho! Pay phones... 2012... Laughed so hard! You reminded me why I come to this site.
    Well done sir.
  • Kimarous
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    1) A better premise for a payphone-based post-breakup love ballad: "I'm calling you from a payphone because my cell phone is out of minutes, and I'm not renewing my plan because you're the only person worth talking to, therefore it is pointless to get more minutes if we've broken up."

    2) Why in crap's crown did he decide to attempt post-breakup mending at a dusty, in-the-boonies truck-stop payphone? Why can't he just call her up at home? Sorry dude, but those quarters you keep shoving into it aren't "sacrifice", they're "prodigal."
  • Mark Otaku
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    Yay! New Todd In The Shadows!

    You're seriously one of my favorite contributors to the site right now.
  • S_Pac_3:16
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    A dumb video for a dumb song!

    And yeah seriously, who uses a payphone in 2012?

    Anyway, I did like Maroon 5's earlier singles(Harder to breathe, This love) but now yeah, they're just doing it to get a paycheck these days.
  • Parasite  - Entertaining review as always :D
    I have to admit that I like the majority of Maroon 5 songs I hear on the radio, including this one and even Moves like Jagger, but I highly doubt I could bear listening to an enitre Maroon 5 album. I feel like that for the majority of pop music. I can happily hum along to the most shallow, dumbest of melodies, only when it comes to full albums my musical sophistication kicks in.
  • ArtticWitchica
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    So now I can finally hear this song's actual lyrics... I've been listening to the parody song by Barely Political which is about Game of Thrones XD
  • HankMan
    I knew I wasn't the only one who was playing that parody in their head when Tod did the intro.

    And I'm sorry but rhyming borrow with tomorrow or reason with season does not make you a hack. THEY RHYME! Now using an expression like "My love to borrow" IS hack writing.
  • AbsintheMinded
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    "All this video's missing is Bruno Mars's stupid hat!" I beg to differ. Check out 9:22
  • tak_33
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    I knew you would do this song.
    And I instantly felt sorry for you...
    Personally I can't even hear this song, the instrumental drones just hook me in, with how repetitive they, are and I space out till the song is over.
  • Falconfly
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    The music video is something yoi'd see in a bad FANFIC. I mean, seriously, Adam Levine as a banker being a Mary Sue while be chased by the police for no adequately explained reason?

    That's something on the level of My Immortal, except less entertaining because Adam Levine isn't a prep or a goff.
  • VanDerSandy
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    This is how you do an emotional song about a goddamned payphone. And it'll only ever be heard by an horrendously small amount of the people who've listened to this bollocks.
    http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=XuKSLLk5RaM

    Still, funny as ever Todd, the only good thing about pop music is your reviewing it.
  • PlayMp1
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    Ska? Interesting choice for emotion. Much third-wave ska makes me either think of parties or shitty 90s/early 2000s "raunchy"/teen comedies. Not that ska is bad, I love it, it's just not the best choice for expressing deep emotions.

    For emotional expression, jazz is the greatest. You really can't beat it.

    I'm sure I could find some bluesy stuff that pertains to payphones... gimme a while.
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