If "My First Kiss" is not on here, I am going to be disappointed. At least I think it was this year.

EDIT: Pretty good list, still. Personally, my hatred for "Sexy and I know it" would have got no. 1 on my list.

My First Kiss was on his last year's list.

Todd when you say "White guy on acoustic guitar songs" does that also mean Folk music like Bob Dylan or Woody Guthrie as well?

He means people who play acoustic guitar and write songs with simple subject matter and lazy lyrics, with clearly no creative thought put into them. It's not to say he doesn't like acoustic guitar (he admitted to liking "Hey There Delila"), it's just a genre of music that has a good chunk of laziness in it.

Check out his full review of Bruno Mars "The Lazy Song" for further details. He makes his opinion on the matter much clearer.

he describes it in his review of "Mistletoe" by Justin Beiber

He means acts like Jack Johnson and Bruno Mars.

And Jason Mraz...eucch.

Todd will defend faggots, women, and blacks but insulting white men doesn't offend him.

#9
OJ stalking and murdering Nichole Brown after she divorced him then giving book rights of the story to Goldman's family so they could profit from her murder is categorically worse than Chris Brown hitting Rihanna. Without knowing what she did we can't know if she deserved it. Nichole Brown definitely didn't deserve to've that washed-up jock break into her house and murder her.

#7
1) Todd bitches that Em and Dre aren't as wild as they used to be.
2) Todd cries about the word "faggot".

Yep, Todd just wants some verses that're simultaneously politically correct and ballsy. You know, a contradiction in terms.

#6
A. Black guy makes a shit song.
B. Todd describes it as white music.

#5
Todd has bad taste. The song's instrumental part is simple to showcase her voice which's good. Then he claims "You Must not Know 'bout Me" is better when that song sucks.

I guess "to the left"x6 are better lyrics in his mind than "you're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside your soul".

#4
The montage of 80s songs turning into dirty bit was funny. More editing jokes like that, less clips from music videos.

#3
Good Tell-tale Heart reference.

#2
What a worthless beat.

Todd lacks the cognitive ability to realize Mel's bitch of an ex-wife set him up and recorded him getting angry to trash his reputation. She has robbed half his fortune. Bitch deserves nothing.

#1
Todd doesn't consider nuts in his face a bad thing. Explains why the word faggot bothers him so much.

"we can't know if she deserved it"?

??? Really? She could "actually" deserve having the shit beat out of her... by a guy a lot bigger and heavier than her...?

There is so much wrong with just that segment that the rest doesn't even need to be touched.

I imagine that she could "deserve" to be beaten in the same way that a woman could "set up" someone to vomit forth racist epithets. You know--by being female.

@ Chris McCart

Is a woman incapable of doing something requiring she be dealt with violently? Is she somehow exempt from natural laws and justice?

http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=3FgMLROTqJ0

@ Skemono

It's not b/c she's a woman, you strawman burner.

I'm not saying she did deserve it. I'm saying without knowing what happened between Rihanna and Chris we can't determine who is in the wrong nor to what degree.

As for Mel's wife, you seriously think she records all their conversations on the off chance she wants to use what he says later? As psychotic as that would make her, doesn't it seem more likely she recorded him intending to get something defaming and said things to provoke him into saying something bad?

Sure we can. Domestic violence is a crime, and the person who commits it is wrong to do so. Did you just never learn that hitting people is not an appropriate response? 'Cause the rest of us learned that in grade school.

And apparently you also didn't learn that racist slurs aren't an appropriate response to hypothetical provocations. You don't spit out racist epithets because you're "provoked" (much less because you're being recorded), but because you're racist.

"Is a woman incapable of doing something requiring she be dealt with violently?"

Yes, but we're not talking about those things. We're talking about a man beating the shit out of his girlfriend. And any man who thinks taking his fist to his woman is an appropriate response for anything, isn't a man.

The only possible loophole for that is if she comes at you with a weapon and the intent to use it, but if she's willing to go so far as to try and kill you, then you've already fucked up, haven't you.

Anything else is domestic violence and, like Skemono says; "domestic violence is a crime".

@ Skemono
1) Legality is not morality.
2) She could have hit Chris before he hit her or worse.
3) Whether violence is the correct response depends on the impetus.

I'll reiterate, the problem with you, Todd, and everyone else hating Chris when you don't know what happened is you're satisfied with part of a story. You're getting opinionated and allowing the news to manipulate your emotions without the presence of mind to suspend forming an opinion until you know all the salient facts.

"hypothetical provocations"
You suggest Mel Gibson started yelling and cursing at her without provocation. He just called her up and without so much as a hello launched into a tirade?

The way you require no evidence to be convinced disgusts me. Keep believing everything your teachers and the news tell you; they'd never exaggerate, mislead, or lie.

@Chris McCart

You provide an example of double-think.

"Yes a woman may need to be dealt with violently"
"It can't be appropriate for a man to deal with a woman violently".

The only reconciliation for these premises is sexism, which you demonstrate.

"if she's willing to go so far as to try and kill you, then you've already fucked up"

Fuck you. You presume a woman can do no wrong by imagining any evil she does is justified by some unknown misdeed committed by the man she attacks. You blame the victim. Look up statistics for who initiates violence in domestic abuse cases, black widows, and watch Dear Zachary.

The last part of this comment falls a bit flat when you're going out of your way to blame the victim yourself!

Lol. Ohsha you can pretend to be all high and mighty as much as you want, calling my view sexism. I know Skemono and I are talking about Chris Brown. Who are you talking about?

" "If she's willing to go so far as to try and kill you, then you've already fucked up"

Fuck you. You presume a woman can do no wrong by imagining any evil she does is justified by some unknown misdeed committed by the man she attacks. You blame the victim. "

"Fuck you"? Really? You ARE taking this all a little personally? "You presume a woman can do no wrong", "imagining any evil she does", "You blame the victim"... Now let's all be honest with one another, Ohsha, we're not talking about Chris Brown anymore are we?

"You're satisfied with part of a story", "is she somehow exempt from natural laws and justice?", "we can't know if she deserved it". You throw some big words around, talking about laws, justice, victims and unknown misdeeds, then about what is deserved, blame and evil. You even go so far as get all emotional in between your random racist remarks and find the time to reply to me "fuck you". This is more than just some petty debate to you, that much you have more than given away.

So alright, you want to be alone in the corner with your anger, you feel free. Enjoy it. Wrap yourself up in it. No one will stop you. But you should know that regardless of whatever you want to come off with next, someone who didn't have serious emotion backing up deep-seated ill opinions would probably have read my last comment a little differently than you did. Fact is no ONE person is responsible for the break down of a relationship. And whether you've come to blows with your best friend, or you've beaten your girlfriend to the floor, or she's taken a knife to you, those situations don't just pop up out of nothing.

So yeah, if she's coming at you with a knife you HAVE already fucked up. Cause either you've deluded yourself while you've shacked up with a bunny boiler or you've let the relationship deteriorate to such a point that she sees picking up the knife as not only justified but necessary. You most likely aren't the ONLY one responsible for her feeling that way, but PART of the blame is unquestionably yours. And while some people in that situation will say "I don't know what happened, she's crazy!", the others will sigh heavily and go "how the hell did we get here?" Now which of those two outlooks is going to more likely contribute to that bad ending?

Lemme clear those points up.

#9
OJ isn't a worthless human being, he's a mentally ill human being.

As much as OJ did arrogantly flaunt around the fact that he "got away with it" until his time came, he didn't knowingly try to cash in on his deeds until "If I Did it", which in my book is actually worse than being just plain evil since it requires cognizance of you actions, and decide to do the wrong thing anyway.

And that's why Todd could make that connection to CB.

#7
1)You totally
2)never understood what Todd was talking about.

First, it's not that Em and Dre aren't "wild", it's that they started out as fascinatingly contraversial performers, but at this point in their carrers they're so clearly now part of the status quo every attempt and song they make in that old vein sounds like a Wierd Al Parody with less self-integrity.

Also, Todd explained the reason "faggot" is entirely out of place for Em and Dre in 2011. Go watch the Lighters review again. In conclusion, penis penis penis.

#5
You have poor comprehension.

Todd has gone on record (with my loud support) about Beyonce being one of the worst performers of the last decade, that song included.

The reason he's citing her though is that while both aren't his (or my) cup of tea, Beyonce did pull off the kind of self-confidence (blind, but convincing) necessary to make that class of blatantly petty breakup lyrics into a statement of self-worth. Perri has neither the stage presence or the lyrical dexterity to compete.

I guess "to the left"x6 are better lyrics in his mind than "you're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside your soul".

#9
I agree with you OJ's evil. It'd be more accurate to describe him as "detrimental" than "worthless".

#7
Todd says they should love buggery and then hypocritically critisizes them for not acting straight enough. That's one of the auxiliary negative effects of queers becoming more prevalent: any dudes with strong bonds are seen as closet gay. Like Frodo and Sam.

I understood what Todd said and you're avoiding addressing the contradiction. To restrict your speech lest you offend someone is tame. You can't be crazy, bold, or otherwise have an "I don't give a fuck" attitude if you're afraid of hurting people's feelings.

#5
Describing Beyonce's lyrics as more dextrous than Perri's doesn't change the fact that repeating "to the left" and "you must not know bout me" is crude. It makes you a liar.

Oh, it's the troll! Why haven't you been shot yet?

Awww, does that mean that Todd has lost the homophobic-misogynist- racist-Eminem-fanboy demographic? I'm sure he'll be heartbroken.

Wow you really fail. I don't even know were to begin. I'll just go in order.
First, stop saying faggots its a horrible word and needs to just disappear and Todd wasn't trying to offend anyone. They are called jokes, he wasn't serious.

#9- Rhianna didn't deserve to be hit at all, she did nothing wrong and its bad taste to compare it to a murder.

#7 well excuse him for wanting good lyrics that make sense and aren't insulting to human beings.

#6 Bruno Mars isn't Black, he is haft Filipino.

#5 Maybe he has good taste and he sees it for the horrible dumb song it is. It makes no sense and it is quite frankly is annoying at how shallow it really is.

#1 Or maybe faggot brothers everyone who knows all humans are humans? Who knows?

way to bring your shitty MRA crap here. Just get out, you're a horrible person

In full agreement with this list, especially the top pick. So glad I haven't heard anything else from those guys because I heard that song REPEATEDLY this summer.

I guess the only change I would make would be that I would swap the Chris Brown song you had for hia song "Better With The Lights Off". I'm guessing that song didn't make the list because it peaked on the Billboard Hot 100 at a pretty low #38. That song is easily most despicable song, even worse than Deuces. The chorus is literally "you look better with the lights off" repeated over and over. Yeah, try telling your girl she looks "better with the lights off" and see what happens.

So, we have a borderline-disturbing song called "Tonight I'm Fucking You", a song that just repeatedly says "ass" over and over, and a song called "Better With the Lights Off."

We have come so far.

Idiocracy, here we come!

"Better With The Lights Off" probably could've made it, but thankfully, it failed to crack the Year-End Hot 100.

The Rap Critic talks about "Better With the Lights Off" in his Worst Lyrics of 2011 video.

God this year had some godawful hit songs. I haven't listened to the radio in ages and I actually live in Seoul for the moment (where the radios naturally tend to focus on Kpop songs), but a fair amount of the songs on this list (and of previous videos) were blasted through the radios here, particularly Born this Way and Party Rock.

Makes sense that you'd disapprove of "white chick with the piano" songs. I have to admit a certain weakness for those, especially when they're done right, but that's just because the classical piano is my favourite instrument and I love soprano voices. I do completely agree with the fact that they can be lazy, asinine and childish, and the song on your list surely is all of those things, but to be honest a badly written misogynistic (or just sexist) hiphop/rap song offends me much more than this type of music ever can. And yes, that includes "white guy with an acoustic guitar" songs. But again this is just down to personal preferences and I can completely see where you're coming from!

By the way, will you ever consider making a Glee video, even if it's just a Vlog or a short review, only focused on the music and not the plot? I keep getting beaten over the head with this show, with everyone saying how great it is and how good they are at singing. I won't bore you with my opinions of it (don't like it because of overuse of autotune, no song originality and ridiculous premise) but I would be really interested in hearing why you hate it so much!!!

Oh! I've been waiting for this for awhile! >w. Though there are some other songs I would have loved to see you take a look at(in particular Last Friday Night.), that top pick is PREFECT. I freaking can't stand that song. Dx It's just...boring and drags on. I did wish that LMAFO was higher though. The main radio station I listen to plays Party Rock and Sexy and I Know all the damn time and my friends know it bugs me... I'm about ready to punch those two in the face.

Dude, you just made the songs last until 2012. Noooooo!

Hmm, I never had a big problem with tonight, tonight, but after the analogy with the cereal, I get it.

It's like reading bad fanfiction; it's based on something good with everything you like, but why can it suck this hard?

Andy Rehfeldt's polka remix of Look at Me Now improves it greatly and it makes the irredeemable prick that is Chris Brown look like a clown, which is alright in my book.

Here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=KlA3p_3oojU

I think this year has just been big for "young people hang-out music"; almost every one of these songs has played on the radio or at locales my friends and I were at, and they provided good white noise for us. That's why there's so much of it.

Hence, most of that doesn't bother me much, but I'd say the huge genre of "oh god I'm a lonely woman" really is the source of most of the horrible in music nowadays. I honestly would've said Someone Like You would fit somewhere in this list, a good replacement for Christina Perri at the very least, since you consider her to be pop music.

Every time I see the Lazy Song I get mad. Those monkeys and those moves are all infuriating.
But I don't think Tonight, Tonight deserves 1st place. It isn't good and it's Glee, I'll agree with you there, but Sexy and I Know It imo is so much worse.
But hey, your list, your hate.

Hoping to see more of you, Todd.

With "Sexy and I Know It", much of the enjoyment can be derived from knowing and accepting that it's ridiculously stupid. But there's nothing redeemable about "Tonight, Tonight" it's like they gave the most obnoxious kids at your middle school instruments and gave them an hour to crap out something resembling a song. It makes my skin crawl every time I hear it.

Todd forgot that the main reason why anyone should hate "Tonight Tonight" is because it's basically Train singing the lyrics of a Black Eyed Peas.

Seriously, it's basically that. I hated the song more than i hate Muammar Gaddafi, and that's saying something.

Well, yeah, Christina Perri is being immature, but she has a really pretty voice. In fact, both she and Skylar Grey saved Jar of Hearts and I Need A Doctor respectively because of how they sounded. Still, it's your list, you do what you like.
At the top of my list would be Sexy And I Know It, though Hot Chelle Rae is pretty damn close for second.

Very good video Todd. I would have put Sexy and I Know It at number one, just because it's the one that has bothered me the most. I'm really looking forward to your best of the year video, since we so rarely get to hear you talk about music you actually like. Also, that Parks and Recreation reference has gained you my undying love forever.

Didn't expect the Tell Tale Heart Reference.... but still a fantastic list!

That first guy looks like an adult with some type of dwarfism, like Gary Coleman.

"Busta's verse on this song is like hearing a Nickleback song suddenly launch into a shredding Van Halen guitar solo." -That made me spit coffee all over my keyboard.

"The Lazy Song" reminds me of "The 7 Days of the Week I Never Go to Work" by They Might Be Giants.

Welp, I don't want to listen to anything on this list, so thumbs up from me.

I agree fully with Tonight, Tonight being number one. Yes, even over that pile of crap called Sexy and I Know It. Why? I'm a rock and metal fan. I know the genre extremely well, and no song in rock history has managed to violate the entire idea of rock ever. Even other pop-rock.

How does it violate rock in such a devastating fashion? First off, the utterly energy deprived riff. You played You Shook Me All Night Long briefly during the Dirty Bit segment. That song has a riff that defines a tight, energetic riff to bang your head or even dance to. Tonight, Tonight completely defies this standard of rock: the riff is exactly three chords, first ascending, then descending. Now, this isn't to say three chord riffs are bad (the Ramones built a career on these songs), but generally simple ideas require some emotional backing to give them energy. That riff is exactly like the lyrics of the song: "Whatever. It doesn't matter." Utterly devoid of emotion. Just plain boring.

Second, the drums frickin' suck. I speak as a drummer here, of course, but nonetheless they suck. Just a boring syncopated rhythm ripped off from a combination of bad post-grunge and the least successful ideas of funk-rock. The tone of the drums themselves sucks - it suffers from the same lack of energy or force that the riff has. Going back to AC/DC as an example of good (even danceable!) rock, their drummer never plays anything complex, but it fits the simple, head bangin' riffs. Also, AC/DC has always had some of the best tuned, best produced drums in music. Big and loud without sounding either overpowering or cheesy.

And finally, those godawful vocals. There's a distinct problem with making a song where you basically don't care in the lyrics: you end up sounding like you don't care at all in the vocals! Now, good songs have been written about not caring at all, but the difference is the lack of caring is more of a rebellious "I don't give a fuck about what others think" attitude then a "meh, whatever, doesn't matter" blandness. As such, the vocals come across as defiantly opposing the system instead of being just plain bored. Being bored is *not* a good reason to write a song!

Huh. If I could work on my comedic talents, get a camera, and learn to edit videos, maybe I could do some rock reviews...

Tonight Tonight is a ROCK song? @.@

I was under the impression that it was mindless pop with a sort of catchy chorus...Kind of like MmmBop.

It's pop-rock. Note the instrumentation: guitar, bass guitar, drums, vocals. As I outlined, it's rock in only that sense. In all other ways, it utterly violates the methods and ideas of rock.

Rock shouldn't be defined in such sterile terms. This is obviously only pop. Being performed with rock instruments does not count.

And viewed as strictly a pop song....it's not that bad, really.

"Sexy and I Know It" should have been #1...I mean, come on.

I dunno, to me it seems like it's trying to be pop-rock in the vein of recent Green Day. And like Todd said, it's a lame ripoff of pop music in general anyway. To use an analogy from underground metal's biggest current trend, it's like the worst of retro-thrash metal (note that good retro-thrash is actually not hard to find, but the bad stuff is there), trying to emulate the fast, angry thrash of the 80s while getting none of the emotion driving it.

Worst rock song ever? Nah. Just pick anything from Nickelback's library or perhaps one of the songs off the Metallica and Lou Reed album Lulu (yes, this happened).

As a pop song, I don't have a valid opinion of it. I don't like pop. I watch these reviews because they give me material to say when these songs come on and I want to complain vociferously and loudly (partly because it's fun).

You mean every Metallica album (or more accurately, Drunk Metal Cover of Pearl Jam)

Have you ever, per chance, listened to the first four albums? They're not deserving of the usual hate reserved for Metallica. Go ahead and blast Load, Reload and St. Anger - I will too (the self-titled is so-okay-it's-average).

I could help...

no, but seriously, this isn't the worst rock song ever. And some of the worst rock songs I've ever heard, I'm slightly convinced aren't even real.

And Dance (Ass) is the worst song of the year by far. Todd should have included it in his list.

I find it just painfully ironic that the ad for this video incorporates the Party Rock Anthem.

I agree with most of the list (not that it matters if I agree or not lol.) I do like the Jar of Hearts song...but that may be mainly because I was listening to it during a specific time in my life and it makes me think of that event.

I also kind of like Tonight Tonight. It isn't my favorite by any means. I certainly wouldn't bother to put it on my ipod or anything. It's just one of those generic, mindless pop songs...but the chorus always makes me bounce in my chair.


And if my sister were here she'd say she likes the Black Eyed Peas song. No idea why...but she insists on playing it whenever we're in the car -_-


My list would've included TGIF by Katy Perry. I seriously can't listen to that song. I will go to great lengths to change the station if it comes on.

one song is missing. Madcon - Glow.
it's from 2010 but still the worst song in history...

it's about european solidarity and we all know, their doesn't exist such thing. itself is a lie and in the song, literally they pretend to be the lords of the underground... yeah, chief rockas omfg*

please beat this "song" down !!! ;)

hate it anytime, anywhere, right now!!! =)

I would've flipped #3 and #1, to be honest. Maybe it's cause I'm a girl, I don't know. I just have a horrible mental image of douchebros using that song as their ironic anthem, waving their ugly jigglies (did I mention I'm also pretty gay?) in my face. Ugh. That and I hear that song way more than the turd you put at #1.

Otherwise, yeah, this. Keep fighting the good fight, sir. And the "Tell-Tale Heart" thing cracked me up.

(I'd also really like to see a vlog of some kind about Glee from you. Please?)

I totally agree with you. I'm apathetic to Tonight, Tonight, mainly because I don't hear it at all anymore and I didn't hear it much to begin with. But Sexy and I Know It is waaaay too overplayed AND I get the bad feeling that people are going to use it around my campus.

I also really wanna see Todd do a review of Glee. Honestly, I enjoy the show, but I can see why people hate it. It gets really teeny-bopper sometimes, but some episodes are really good and have good messages.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only person who thinks Dirty Bit is a piece of shit. No matter where you go, if music plays there, that song will be there and it pisses me off. Thank you, Todd, and may you bash more terrible music in 2012.

For me "The Time" (Dirty Bit) Pisses me off the most.

First it's taking a decent song and making it worse, then it's stealing the stupid beat from one of those crazy frog songs and in the end it just pisses me off.

I like comedy music. My dad raised me on it. I love bands like Ludo that put creative stories and humor into their songs and mix up genres. And I have no problem with Sexy and I know it and Part Rock Anthem.

Party Rock Anthem annoyed me because I heard it for weeks and week after your review, but I actually like it now except for the female singer, but I can even dance to Sexy and I know it XD

Oh no Black Eyed Peas will never sample that ACDC song, ACDC is my favorite rock band of all time, you know what I don't care if Black Eyed Peas disappear, they have had some good songs but for the most part they have been running themselves to a black hole.

The number one pic for your list was surprising but I am happy with that because I don't want more artists to be inspired by this crap, ITS NOT ROCK, ITS LAME!

The list was good but not many interesting songs was there because you have reviewed them already but it was good, great job :)

A guy with a mask, jangling on a piano, talking about bad music and pretentiousness and the worst songs of the year? Holy shit that makes sense...

Dude, stop listen to (and play) crappy music!

Yaaaay I've been looking forward to this video all week! I love that you used a Kesha clip for the header. And dear god, what is she pulling out of her cleavage?!

9: Ugh, I was so torn about this song, for most of the reasons you listed. Busta Rhymes's verse was awesome and I actually liked the beat/background stuff, but the very idea of Chris Brown releasing a song where he brags about being a rich, famous, successful, widely beloved domestic abuser makes me want to hurl.

5: Now that I think about it, "white chick with piano" is definitely the distaff counterpart to "white guy with acoustic guitar." Although I've heard a lot more decent entries in the former category than in the latter — I think it helps if the "white chick with piano" song is up-tempo and energetic instead of being lethargic emo whining.

2: I punched the air and cheered when I saw the title for this one come up. Your review of that song was, in my opinion, one of your best and funniest, and "Tonight I'm Fucking You" remains one of the most baffling pop songs I've ever heard. It's just one long WTF.

1: I think it makes perfect sense that HCR was your #1 worst. Their song sounds like an advertising jingle! It shouldn't even qualify for the pop charts! And they even had a second hit that sounded just as determinedly mediocre as the first! Blargh.

She's pulling out her bra. It could be a lot worse.

Sexy and I Know It is the number 1 song in America?! *bangs head against wall*

10 good reasons why I NEVER listen to the radio (except maybe online metal radio). I have been able to escape listening to all these songs, except LMFAO...
For some reason I cannot possibly fathom, some of my colleagues seem to like that song. After we're done working, I inject myself and others with a nice dose of good old heavy metal.
It works. So far...

Eh, I had to hear crap like this all year on radio, and while it's pretty bad, it's mostly harmless. The only song this year that made me feel worse after listening to it was "Dance (Ass)". That is an atrocity to music.

But seriously, how do people find such issue with Tonight (I'm fucking you)? I mean, the bands I listen to have lyrics like

"He'll Be Druggin The Queer's Beer
When He Comes
He'll Be Druggin The Queer's Beer
When He Comes
He'll Be Druggin The Queer's Beer
Fuckin' The Queer's Rear Druggin The Queer's Beer When He Comes"

Of course, those lyrics are actually factually accurate because they're about Jeffrey Dahmer.

I was so sure the #1 pick would've been a toss-up between "Tonight I'm Fucking You" and "The Lazy Song".

Thanks for fucking with my expectations, Todd!

Awesomely awful list. I hated every one of the entries. Are you going to do a best of list soon?

"Tonight, Tonight" I can listen to and not care IF it's in the background. "I'm Sexy and I Know It" I can't and want to pop my eardrums. As for Jar of Heart.....I'm a sucker for pianos. I really am. :X