Ep 15: "Whip My Hair"
Written by Todd In The Shadows Thursday, 16 December 2010 22:58
Titlecard Art By Krin
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Comments (228)
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And this song is basically what a 4kids would do if they licensed the Japanese anime "Invasion! Squid Girl" to the United States. This song is basically what a 4kids version of the Squid Girl theme would look like, and that's worse than what they did to One Piece.
This song in an insult to all insults. This song manages out be worse than all the shitty Eurodance music i was forced to play when i was a club DJ.
and seriously, who looks at Soulja Boy as an inspiration for writing music? That's a worse crime than releasing embassy cables on Wikileaks.
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12.17.2010 - 16:40 | realvampiresdontsparkle
oh i think 4kids would find ways to ruin this song that the normal person wouldn't be able to conceive of(not that the song is all that fucking wonderful)
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12.17.2010 - 11:55 | axlryder
I think this song could be remedied if it ended with a buzz cut.
Also, roses is so cute.
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I really hope Willow Smith doesn't go down the same path Britney, Hillary Duff, and Hannah Montanah went down/are going down. I also can't help but think that this song was written by a group of executives who think that repeating the same lyrics over and over again is creative. It's not (beep)ing creative.
I understand that repeating and ,or, interupting the repeat with the first two syllables of a word can be appropriate and catchy during some songs, but in some songs if it's over used throughout the song and is continually used again and again and again it just gets annoying. The use of this almost makes it sound like the writer gave up when the song was half done and needed to add additional time at the last minute.
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12.17.2010 - 00:10 | dragondan1987The worst thing is that will smith will keep pumping money in her so she wont disappear like most shitty hip hop artists. We have years of more willow music ahead of us
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12.17.2010 - 00:44 | fjernUnless your hair makes a crack, as in the sound, it is not considered whipping. Unless you of course refer to whip as in whipped cream, where an outside source is what is whipping the cream, ie. the mixer.
Just throwing your hair in random directions is not whipping.
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12.17.2010 - 00:47 | leikomgwtfbbq
Re: The blond wig:
Does this mean you're Hannah Montana now, Todd?
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12.17.2010 - 15:49 | mrrubino
But he's not even whippin his hair back and forth. =(
He's just kinda limply headbanging..
(Also, awesome cameo by Obscurus Felis)
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12.17.2010 - 01:19 | artgeek707
Ever since this came out I was waiting for you to do this. You do not disappoint. I'm so sick of pint sized child stars. They're really getting out of hand these days. Sure there were Shirley Temple's in the past but it almost feels like there's an influx of young kids saturating the regular music charts. Also inane doesn't even begin to describe this song
The intro was quite lulzy as well. I don't know how you did it but you managed to pick a tune out of that over produced aural garbage
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I didn't know that Willow had a "singing" career. Oh dear, this can't be good...for anyone. But in it's defense, it is not as bad as Lil Mama's "Lip Gloss." If you haven't heard it consider yourself lucky. But if you want to give yourself a migraine with a nose bleed. By all means look it up on youtube.
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I forgot to mention but I'm sure everyone already knows, but that little girl has fake hair or a weave if you will. If that isn't her hair does that mean that the song is a lie or just false advertisement??
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a weave on is....
hang on are you dumb or just trollin'?
Its ignorance such as this that has me defending even the most deplorable parts of our so called 'black' culture
and why does it matter? gaga wears wigs,christiana...etc etc
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12.17.2010 - 01:14 | WaveMaker
You have no idea how happy I was to see this review (and it didn't disappoint; I especially giggled at the cameos and the mention of it being auditory chinese water torture). I was waiting for this ever since I first heard it; I mean when you can repeat "I whip my hair back and forth" 68 times (Yes, I actually counted; don't judge me) and have it sound like it was repeated even more times than "Imma be" was, well... let's just say, music: you're doing it wrong.
Also, we have more to add to the profile of you, Todd. We now know you are a 13-year-old girl that's half asian, half black and has blonde hair. Soon enough we shall figure out what you look like, soon enough. *rubs hands together evil-ly*
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12.17.2010 - 01:20 | artgeek707he's also Justin Bieber
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12.17.2010 - 01:17 | LunaMoth116
Todd, I'd say your playing this dreck on piano (and even making it sound epic) qualifies as a Crowning Moment of Awesome for you. :)
Also, although this song HURTS me in so many ways, I have to say that unlike other pint-size pop stars, at least Willow's hit single deals in subject matter she can understand, so she doesn't sound like she has no idea what she's singing about. I'm not willing to give her more credit than that, though. >_
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Her hair may be whipping around, but that's not the official title. No, as Todd points out, it's headbanging. I know, I've head banged a at a lot of Metal concerts. That spinning thing she does at first, that's a windmill headbang, I first saw it at a Rob Zombie Concert in 2002, when she was problebly still in Diapers. So yeah, she's just headbanging and makeing sound like it's more meaningfull then it is.
Oh, and the cameos where fucking awesome in this episode.
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12.17.2010 - 09:44 | bassbaitAre you serious? Windmills first seen at Rob Zombie? Apparently you haven't seen any Cannibal Corpse, or Obscura, or Nile, or Warbringer!
Come on, Rob Zombie is so weak compared to the kinds of bands that do it right!
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12.17.2010 - 01:21 | badgersprite
OH MY GOD! MARRY ME!
I've been waiting for this one. This song is like cultural cancer right now. It doesn't even deserve to survive in 'meme' form, because this girl is definitely way, way, way, WAY below Rick Astley. Even "Miracles" by The Insane Clown Posse has better lyrics than this.
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12.17.2010 - 01:22 | Sploich
You made a hilarious 14-minute video out of one line from a song. Bravo.
Here's hoping Will is vasectomized, Jada has had her tubes tied, and both of their children are infertile.
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12.17.2010 - 01:27 | Devilfish
Seriously? Whip it? Nobody's going to mention this? Alright, I'll do it then.
Whip-it: The act of inhaling the compressed gas (nitrous oxide, also used as an inhalation anesthetic) from inside a whipped cream can usually as a means to get 'high'.
...
Yeah, you whip it, Willow. You whip it REAL good. You stupid little girl.
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12.17.2010 - 01:26 | RolePlayHumor
Doug's The Most Annoying Song in the World, you have been beat!
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12.17.2010 - 01:47 | TheBlackMage
I think I hate this song so much because it sounds about as much like music as Chris Rock with a spastic colon.
Nice cameos btw... but where's Jew Wario?
at 7:57... I didn't know Karl Urban was on TGWTG!!!! oh and Todd, I think Devo is one of the best bands of all time. Devo 2.0 can go to hell, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.
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12.17.2010 - 01:39 | S_Pac_3:16
Wow...words escape me for how bad this is...
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12.17.2010 - 01:43 | tmtrcclby
Awesome review, as always. But I fell in love with this song after the second or third viewing of the video. I'm into the Metalocalypse fandom and someone suggested an AMV with this song, and I had to do it. It turned out really awesome, actually.
It was definitely annoying the first one, maybe two times I heard it. But there's such a confidence and a power to it that I love it. It's unfortunate Soulja Boy and Devo are both quoted, though.
I love how in the music video it's all about power and dancing and stuff. I'm sick of all the sexual music videos.
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12.18.2010 - 21:26 | diazepamPlease die in a fire.
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12.17.2010 - 01:44 | theADHDkidDr. Steel already wrote a perfectly good "Back and Forth" song. This song was as unnecessary as it was painful.
Also, I recommend the Dr. Steel song for getting this aural poison out of your head.
Personally, I think this is the worst song Todd has reviewed. Editing this video must have been hell.
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12.17.2010 - 01:54 | Grimfang
wow the critc with skills
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12.17.2010 - 02:03 | Laserwolf65
You have no idea how much I was looking forward to this! Thank you Todd. This is why you are definitely one of the best reviewers on this site!
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12.17.2010 - 02:07 | The_Awesometeer
I think I know the whole song by heart now: I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth I whip my hair back and forth
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12.17.2010 - 02:17 | The Maskeraider
I really hope Will & Jada don't have anymore children.
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12.17.2010 - 08:20 | Amy!
They can't, they've run out of things to name them.
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12.17.2010 - 12:10 | AuroneSmithy Smith....
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12.17.2010 - 02:27 | Asuka Soryu
I imagine all the elevators in hell play this song on loop.
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12.17.2010 - 02:32 | Citizen Snips
The thought makes me want to go to church.
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12.17.2010 - 14:00 | Midori
Nope. Someday they will have a Willow Smith, Beiber, Miley Cyrus collaboration. It will be sung with "Hoedown Throwdown," in the backgroud. Shortly after this song is played the entire world will commit suicide.
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12.17.2010 - 02:32 | The Hardcore Kid
You can't go Magfest, dude! Then everyone would find out your secret! :(
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12.17.2010 - 02:35 | Rockabore
Ugh, I hate this song and that kid so much. I mean it can only get worse seeing as Willow's not talented an not cool enough to make it without her dad backing her up, that and the hair whipping she had to do just to make that shitty video is enough to turn your brain into fucking pudding, which doesn't make any improvement seem likely. I wouldn't be surprised if she goes down in history for having made this piece of crap.
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12.17.2010 - 03:15 | DevilfishThat's the most annoying thing here: I think she is talented and she could do some good, but like Todd said, she threw it all behind a thoroughly obnoxious song. I don't care where my artists come from, nepotism be damned, as long as they make good music.
Besides, she's what, nine? You remember all the stupid shit you thought was cool when you were nine? Imagine having done all that for an international audience.
She's going to regret this. A lot. And I think her parents should have known that.
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12.17.2010 - 19:49 | RockaboreI don't see how she's talented. I can't see her getting attention aside from doing a obnoxious song since she doesn't have a noteworthy voice really. It's not like we even have a real song from her to show that she even has talent.
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12.18.2010 - 02:30 | DevilfishSinging talent, I don't know. It's not like you can tell from this "song". Her voice isn't even fully developed yet, it could go either way. But I meant talent as a performer. Like Todd said, she has a lot of confidence and stage presence and yes, that does require a lot of talent. If she threw all that behind a song that was less ear-splittingly annoying, she'd be on to something. But yeah, I can see where you're coming from.
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12.17.2010 - 02:38 | Prons
Oh man , we're going to see what Todd in the Shadows really looks like this January.
Hope he's got dreads
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12.17.2010 - 02:40 | casualruffian
Sorry, Todd, but I don't think you have enough of what they call 'flava' to pull of the hair whip as a hater response. I would have fun dancing to this song in a club, but I would change the station if it came on the radio. There's just a time and a place for some songs.
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12.17.2010 - 02:44 | dragonfly_dust
As soon as I saw the title of this video, my first thought was "OMG! RUN AWAY TODD RUN AWAY!"
No one should be subjected to this horror...EVER!
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12.17.2010 - 02:45 | Hemily
I wish she'd rather have taken after her mom, instead of her dad, when it came to music.
At least Jada is in a metal band, and makes better music.
Though a 10 year old in a metal band would have been a bit odd... i don't know of any child metal stars...
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12.17.2010 - 13:52 | Moomoof
Really because plenty of people....mock her band and say they suck.
I for one can't say that but her mom gets her share of hate too so does will because he didn't curse in his rap
So the tradition continues of people hating on them for no reason other than they don't fit in the standard of what people call music
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12.17.2010 - 16:45 | mrrubinoMaybe that's why this song was made. Willow is attempting to bring the windmill-headbanging into the young-people hiphop world. (The really-really-young- people hiphop world)
Somehow I knew what was coming next when Todd mentioned Devo music coming out of a Disney moppet's mouth. *sigh* Oh Dev2o...
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12.17.2010 - 02:49 | Jael
Now I'm wishing that my hair was long enough so that I can strangle myself after hearing that godawful song. Stupid pixie cut.
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Though the paint mess could be spiffed up, this horrid little song is beyond remediation. The tune, even cleaned of the stupid lyrics, remains intolerable. The song's only saving grace is that it provided Todd the opportunity to send it to the trash heap of history.