Worst Hit Songs of 1987

(680 votes, average 4.91 out of 5)
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Comments (339)
  • naughtypagan72
    87 - that was when I turned 16 (I hated that year) :p
  • Tetsuki
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    I would have been 11 that year, and I remember all these "bad" songs fondly. Just because back then i wasn't music savvy at that age and liked just about anything on the radio back then. But yes, hearing these again, I can see why you would have hated that year, and why they're on this list, though I guess the 80s is why as an adult i still like cheese, as in 80s music and film XD
  • Pillagerromanman
    Saw the title and was skeptical, but this was great. A lot of people talk about how much better music was back in 19XX. But this video proves that old songs can be crap too. Also, what's with the "Land of Confusion" music video?
    This is a great idea for a series.
  • Professor Schnöbelhosen
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    The puppets in "Land of Confusion" video did feature in a tv comedy serie.
    It's called Spitting Image, and while it was REALLY funny back then, poking fun at the politcians and celebrities of the 80s era, time really hasn't been that good to it since...
  • Middleman
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    Nothing good came out of the 80's. I'm living proof of that.
  • Mr.JoeyFandango
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    soooo, Nintendo, the revolution of gaming, the GOOD 80's songs, and people born from, or lived through the 80's such as Doug Walker, James Rolfe, and a majority of the people on TGWTG were no good because they came from the 80's?!?! you my sir are an idiot
  • chrisbg99
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    Don't forget the awesome action movies.
  • axlryder
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    I liked your point, Fandango, right up until the last sentence, which then placed you firmly in the " conformist internet nerd" archetype.
  • Radelta
    I liked your derp derp untill the derp derp herp derp
  • axlryder
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    hey wow, you fit right next to him quite nicely in that same category.
  • ThatWhiteGuy
    i have no idea what the hell that means Radetta, but i'm laughing my ass off. thank you for showing me yet again why i love the Swedish chef
  • Mucca  - RE; axlryder
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    And you're conforming to the anticonformist archetype.

    Hypocrite.
  • axlryder
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    and when did I claim to be an anticonformist?
  • Mucca
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    I'm sure you can agree it's not much of a leap to connect "blasting someone for conforming to something" to "being anticonformist"
  • adrasl300
    Now now I dont think Middleman was entirely serious. Look at that last sentence of his comment again.
  • voooldo
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    I really think he's joking...
  • Mr.JoeyFandango
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    also AWESOME ACTION FILMS, and other gaming legends like Castlevani and mega man
  • Radelta  - The real 90s kid?
    Probably the dumbest comment ever. Congrats.
  • gaaralee1234
    avatar
    Rubik's Cube (it was invented in the 70's but marketed in the 80's)
    NES
    Michael fucking Jackson
    Three things off of the top of my head, you disgust me.
  • The FanFic Critic
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    MJ is the MAN! Also, Bon Jovi came started in the 80s and their music ROCKED!
  • Mucca
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    [quote=Middleman]Nothing good came out of the 80's. I'm living proof of that.[/quote]

    Ignoring Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, all 3 Indiana Jones movies (well, all 3 [b]good[/b] Indiana Jones movies), Die Hard, Moving Pictures, Iron Maiden, Joe Satriani, Wrath of Khan, Star Trek: TNG, MST3K, everyone between 21 and 30 (probably including Todd), et cetera.

    Also, I was born in 1993, why do I know this if you don't?
  • The FanFic Critic
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    What are you talking about?!? A lot of great things came from the 80s!
  • PlayMp1
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    Everyone else jumped on you for this comment literally years ago, but I might as well add the genres of thrash, death, and black metal, all of which were born in and had good releases in the 80s.

    How about this: Among the Living by Anthrax came out in 1987, complete with one of Anthrax's biggest hits (behind I'm the Man and Got the Time), Indians.

    1985 to 1987 overall was a kickass period for metal. All four of the Big Four of Thrash put out some of their best works (Reign in Blood, Among the Living, Peace Sells, and Master of Puppets), both of the landmark early American releases of death metal came out (Seven Churches and Scream Bloody Gore), and all of these were pretty damn popular considering the genre.
  • Blue_Dawn
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    i was born in 1986 ...-.-;
  • naughtypagan72  - Lionel/Nicole - Great Point!
    Putting 'Ballerina Girl' with pics of Nicole - that does make it hilarious. :p
  • LikaLaruku
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    Except that we can't unsee those pics of Nichole. T_T I was tempted to say "stuff that turkey!"
  • Markhor
    Interesting, random review. I love your lyrics to Kenny G's Songbird.
  • BaltoStephenWinter  - I've brought the cassette player
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    I have mixed feelings when it comes to groups redoing songs. Some of the remakes turn out okay. Others I don't like. Take Florida's version of Dead or Alive's You Spin Me Right Round(Like a Record). I'm not saying that Flordia's music is terrible, I just prefer the original.
    The comment previously stated is the opinion of Balto Stephen Winter and is in no way speaking for anyone else. Nor is it saying that all remakes of songs are terrible. This message brought to you by Opinions Anonymous and Tommy Wiseau. Wait, who put Tommy Wiseau in there? What does he have to do with this?
  • Dreadwing
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    I generally feel the same way about remakes. They can be good, but at the same time you can just ruin the original if you're not careful.

    ...and then there's bands like Metallica, whose remakes are practically the only songs they make that I like.
  • axlryder
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    lol, I actually like kenny G. Either way, I really like the idea of going through the years and listing off the bad pop hits, it adds a wider variety to your reviews and covers more songs. Though I have to wonder why you picked that particular year to start (considering how boring it was).
  • Bastard King
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    It's people like you that ruin music. Kenny G was the worst thing to happen to jazz since heroin addiction.
  • axlryder
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    whoa man, tone down on the hate. If you think kenny G was bad than tell me why, don't just say "It's people like me who ruin music because Kenny G sucked" and walk away. Maybe if you tried to explain why kenny G was so bad I might listen, otherwise you just look like another A-hole.
  • TheAnxietyCloset  - Let me try
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    Why Kenny G sucks:

    His music represents everything that is evil about the music industry. Kenny G takes a vibrant art form like jazz and sucks the life out of it until all that's left is easy listening shlock enjoyed by rich white suburbanites who think that listening to Kenny G. makes them "edgy" because he has long hair and is playing a saxophone.

    In short, he's hated because Kenny G is the picture of undeservedly rewarded mediocrity.
  • violinisthamel
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    Funny enough, Songbird is the only Kenny G song I liked, its a good song to fall asleep to.
  • Pigeon_small
    There is Jazz and then there is Smooth Jazz. Kenny G is Smooth Jazz and I think you're over reacting.
  • naughtypagan72
    Crap - you had to bring up the 'youubadubamadub' Medeiros song. Just when I thought I forgot it :(
  • blackymcgee  - i love these videos
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    in the past week i fell in love with guy, I've watch all of his videos and they were all great. this one is no exception, man 87 was a boring year. I cant understand why he picked it if it was so boring
  • EarthboundXE
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    I can agree with some of those, though I do like some Chicago songs.
  • Matt3d
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    I'm a huge Genesis fan too, but can agree that when Tonight, Tonight, Tonight starts playing on my iPod I skip over it, the album version being 8 minutes and 53 seconds long, the other long song, Domino, is just as vague and confusing on the lyrics but has the missing Drums midway through the song to kick it into gear. The other singles, in fact the entire rest of the album I like.
  • Rigs83  - What's worst about 1987 is that I have to listen
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    I work in retail so I have to listen to Muzak all day except when god decides to bless me by throwing a monstrous Noreaster at me and block the satellite feed. Yes having blinding snow and freezing temperatures is better than listening to 1987 in a constant loop. I honestly dream of going to the roof and cutting the down the effing satellite. Be happy if you don't work retail. I think seeing the future of Muzak is what drove Howard Hughes insane. Oh' yes it was Hughes industries that thought broadcasting boring music from space to Ames, Bradlees and Wolworths was a good idea. Damn you Hughes!!!!
    :flame:
  • Grafenburg
    I just want to know what happened in 87'? how did Abbot get higher than Michael Jackson? he was at the hight if his popularity. What went wrong? =_=

    sure these songs weren't all that great. but how can you not love the 1980's. =D
  • rocknrollguy86
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    Genesis' best period was with Peter Gabriel and their Prog era.
  • Alial93
    DUDE! I had no Idea that Kenny G composed that, and wrose yet, that there WERENT ANY FUCKING LYRICS!!
    Another thing, don't use the BIG insulting words fuck and shit, its not your thing, you don't need them
  • LikaLaruku
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    Nothing wrong with lyric-free music. Who the hell wants singing in their video game background music?
  • The Manga Frak
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    Play persona 3 and 4,Youll want it more often.
    They sing in the fight music and half of the bg music.And its goood.

    Though yeah I think some music is better without that singing,Like the annoying Super teckno version of bad pop songs.The actual mix is better then the god damn song its based on.
  • Dark Crow I  - AWESOME
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    [size=large]You should make more top 10's[/size][color=olive] [/color][color=red][/ color]
  • LikaLaruku
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    Yes, top as apposed to bottom.
  • TheBlackMage
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    Let me get this straight Todd... You went after Peter Cetera, a man with a hell of a beautiful voice just because he left Chicago? As for Songbird, I can't fault you for hating the lame music video, but it's a damn good song regardless.
  • Yeahwhatever
    Actually no. He hates Cetera's singing voice, too.

    Also, U Mad?

    Either you're Cetera's #1 fan, his only fan, or you ARE him.
  • GTO Neko  - AWESOME VID!!
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    A real nice job on the list here. There were only 2 on the list that I was more of a "meh" with the way that those are more guilty pleasures than anything, but yeah....definitely some bad ones that you've mentioned.


    Can't wait to see some other years that you could do. I honestly think that you've just hit the tip of the iceberg with doing 87. ^_^
  • Fracassi
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    My mom just told me how much she hated the movie Mannequin. I agreed wholeheartedly.

    I love Gospel singers... wait, Isn't Amy Grant an adulteress, and isn't Katy Perry, well, Katy Perry?
  • AlucardsQuest
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    Paula Abdul wasn't around yet, so Lisa Lisa couldn't have been doing an impression of her. If anything Abdul ripped Lisa Lisa off.

    Screw the year, screw the decade? Hey screw you, you better get your ass back to watching Sesame Street and shut the hell up. Screw the 90s and it's overrated decade and shitty plethora of mainstream alternative grunge bullshit.
  • LikaLaruku
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    The first 4 years of the 90s were great & started slumping conciderably in 96, but the shit really hit the fan for TV, movies, & music in 1998.
  • axlryder
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    Likalaruku, you have no idea what you are talking about

    the matrix
    fight club
    boondock saints (obviously not a "good" movie, but still awesome)
    sixth sense
    toy story 2
    american beauty
    saving private ryan
    magnolia
    rushmore
    Shakespeare in love (I never liked this, but others loved it)
    out of sight
    being john malcovich
    the big lebowski
    fear and loathing
    the truman show
    the green mile
    three kings
    eyes wide shut
    the thin red line
    dark city (wasn't great, but still innovative)

    and my personal favorite movie of all time
    American history X

    and these are ONLY American movies from 98' and 99'. I'm not even going to try and tackle the rest of the 90's for fear of writing a book here. I'm not as savy on music so I can't say if the late 90's really did suck for tunes, but for movies those years were great.
  • LikaLaruku
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    With the exception of Fight Club & the Truman Show, I hate all of those movies.
  • axlryder
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    To hate that many movies, from that many genres that all recieved decent to high praise from critics and the general public(again with exception boondock saints), really makes me wonder exactly what kind of ridiculous and delusionally grand standards you hold your movies to. That's really beside the point, however, since I was only saying that a large number of "good" movies were made in 98' and 99', which effectively debunks your broad claim that "shit hit the fan" in that year for movies. So next time try not to project your own personal likes and dislikes onto the general criteria for what makes a year "good" or "bad".
  • The Manga Frak
    avatar
    youd have to lie to say you dont like The smashing pumpkins or nirvana.
    Or the advent of hiphop.like run Dmc and public enemy
    or metals reformation-like korn and slipknot.
    Or the early rap-rock era like Rage agianst the machines and the beasty boys.
    or The electronic music growing in acts like DAFT PUNK.
    If you dont like the 90's then you are lame.
  • TragicGuineaPig
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    Run DMC came out in the 80s and had most of their success in that decade. Public Enemy also came out of the 80s, but a good bit of their influence carried over into the 90s, mostly because of their teaming up with heavy metal artists during that time. The same with the Beastie Boys, who actually got their start in the EARLY 80s.

    As I've said elsewhere, Hip Hop really laid most of its foundations in the 80s. It just didn't start enjoying a degree of mainstream success until the 90s.

    As for Electronica, it's origins can be traced back to the 70s with Kraftwerk, but again, you can't leave out the Electro-Funk era of the early 80s, with groups like Planet Patrol, Information Society, and Newcleus. Or the early House era, with artists like Steve Silk Hurley, Farley Jackmaster Funk, Inner City, and Technotronic.

    I've never been a huge fan of either Nirvana or the Smashing Pumpkins. Or for that matter, most of the Seattle-style Grunge.
  • axlryder
    avatar
    despite you being right on all account (most notably about Run DMC and Beastie boys being very successful in the 80's), most of your points aren't really countering her intial rebuttle to the effect of disuading us that her comment's intent was somehow incorrect (that is, that the 90's rocked and you're lame if you didn't like that era), making your comment mostly pointless and affirming in my mind that you're lame.
  • TragicGuineaPig
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    My point, which I feel is adequately demonstrated there, is that most of what was cool about the 90s really has its origins in the 80s.

    Also, if you wish to make any point at all, you would do well to refrain from ad hominem. Frankly, I really don't care what goes on in your own mind, since I don't exist purely for your personal pleasure.
  • axlryder
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    yes, you simply exist for pointless asides, I understand perfectly.
  • TragicGuineaPig
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    Wow! I guess you have me in the crushing grip of reason now!
  • adrasl300
    Korn and Slipknot isnt exactly metals most loved children. I never got into Slipknot. I guess it was the masks and stuff. I like theatricality.
    But more like the european kind with people standing on mountains singing stuff like "CLOAKED BY THE THUNDERS OF THE NORTH WIND"
    Very, very cheesy but you know like a good kind of cheese. Maybe alittle fat But tastes delicious with crackers. Not some kind of urban monster image catering to young teenage boys.
    Korn could be alright sometimes. But you should know how much NU metal is hated by the purists.
  • PlayMp1
    avatar
    Purists like myself. I hate Korn and Slipknot, and nu metal is not metal. No metal riffs = no metal.

    You know what amazing song came out in 1987? Indians by Anthrax. Awesome in every way. Likewise, Scream Bloody Gore by Death, the first true death metal album, came out. That's the creation of a massively popular genre right there.

    Now if you'll excuse me, after hearing these horrible excuses for music, I'm going to go listen to a Morbid Angel album.
  • KillerBunnyFooFoo  - In utero
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    Yeah, I was still a fetus in 1987, but I truly thought I heard the worst of 1987 via VH1 specials like I Love the 80's, Top 100 One-hit wonders and such. I was ill prepared for the list, much less Kenny G. Seriously, I thought that song was what they put on the radio late nights to help you sleep or relax. And I too suffer those slings and arrows of having a parent like something soft and moldy like Chicago.

    Great video. I am always impressed by your balls to admit to liking stuff that could embarrass you. And thanks for mentioning that song being in the Mannequin movie, or else I would have spent a good hour going over in my head where I have heard it from.
  • AlucardsQuest  - re: i love these videos
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    [quote=blackymcgee]in the past week i fell in love with guy, I've watch all of his videos and they were all great. this one is no exception, man 87 was a boring year. I cant understand why he picked it if it was so boring[/quote]

    Mega Man came out in 1987, dolt... as did Castlevania, Contra, Dragon Quest & Final Fantasy, (in Japan) Zelda and Phantasy Star. If those are boring games to you then you need to stop playing video games.
  • LikaLaruku
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    Those are my kinda classic games.
  • thegirlwiththehoodie  - That MJ background dancer turns late...
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    Good thing I was born 2 years later. Just in time to dodge Kenny G! ...Oh wait my parent have that album, too! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...oooo
    :dizzy:
    Loved the list. You are better than VH1!!!
  • Cinnamon Scudworth
    avatar
    Hey, my mom loved #2 too. And #3, and #4, and just about every cheesy soft rock thing on your list. She kept the radio tuned to a soft rock station all day during 1987.

    The thing about that is, though....

    1987 was also a very blissful year for me, I was just a little kid, in kindergarten. When I hear any of these bad songs, I'm taken back instantly. Thus, they will always be guilty pleasures, thanks to Mom. Her radio played "Ballerina Girl" every 15 minutes.

    What is Genesis saying in that one song that wasn't picked but shown -- does anybody know? "She seems to have an invisible top s***". I thought they were swearing on the radio when I was a kid and I'm still convinced they were.
  • LilbunUWiz
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    XD A lot of people think that's what Genesis is saying, be it "invisible top s***" or "top shed", but it's actually "invisible touch, yeah". In other words, the song's called Invisible Touch.
  • TragicGuineaPig
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    Look at the track listing on the album, please: it's "Invisible Touch."

    [url=http:// en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Invisible_Touch]here[/ url]
  • dreapster
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    I hate it when people blast AAF for covering MJ...

    AAF deserved so much better than that. :flame:
  • Jillers
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    Yeah? Really? Cause their cover blew.
    Maybe I'm jaded by the fact that when I unlocked Smooth Criminal on one of my karaoke games I ws really excited to sing Michael Jackson's awesome song and instead got wannabe punk/hardrock garbage* that you can't even sing to because the tempo's too fast, and the song was either grunted or screamed, not sung... but hey, that's just me.


    *not all punk or hard rock is garbage. This is though.
  • Yeahwhatever
    Yeah, y'know.... Despite the fact that their cover actually sucked cancerous lemur balls.

    It really isn't that they dared to touch the "almighty" Micheal Jackson or anything like that.

    It's just that Alien Ant Farm sucks even if they never touched that song, had done a different song, their own song, or what have you.
  • LilbunUWiz
    avatar
    Man I loved watching this! You should do more "Worst Hit Songs" from other years in the 80's, it's quite hilarious. =)

    Being a huge fan of Genesis and Phil myself, yes, I agree, Tonight Tonight Tonight is very, very slow for the awesome album it came from. Probably the best part of it, even though it really doesn't make any sense, was the "I'm going down, going down like a monkeeeeyyyy", if only to amuse/confuse the listener for about ten seconds.

    Oh god. I can understand people liking elevator, but usually just for background music, not for its actual substance. A music video for it, plus a billboard placement? That's just sad, man.

    Like the Genesis thing, I will admit, I actually like Chicago, if only for hits like "Saturday in the Park" and "Does Anyone Really Know What Time It Is?", but that one, oh yes, pretty bland.

    Again, I loved you doing this list, it was a blast to watch.
  • LikaLaruku  - Suprised that this list didn't offend me.
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    "That's just the way it is" is one of the oldest songs I can remember from my childhood.

    10)::Listens on Youtube:: Nope, can't bring myself to hate it. It deffinately sounds more 80s than the original.

    9)Yeah, that song was "music to sleep by," something you'd expect to be playing in an elevator or a school dance.

    8)My mom wass a fan of Chicago, so I'm used to all of their 80s songs.

    7)Thanks to RAB, I can't hear "Bruce Willis" without thinking about gay hampsters. I do not know this Lionel Richie song, it sounds very...Disney.

    6)This song doesn't bother me.

    5)Genesis; a band my whole family addores. I never gave a shit about lyrics in any song because I can't really hear English when people sing; the only things that matter are the instruments, the tune, & the voice. Anyway, I like this song.

    4)I'm gonna have The Final Countdown stuck in my head all week now. =D Nope, "Carrie" isn;t bugging me either.

    3)"We Built This City" rocks, but "Don't You Want Sombody to Love" is creepy. I love "Nothing's Gonna Stop us," the way her voice just takes command of your attention. But "Let's Fall in Love" was a pretty forgetable ballad.

    2)I like his voice. Don;t remember this song much.

    1)Fuhuhu, :snicker: The Wiggles made the YouTube charts with their puppet mnusic video "Point Your Fingers & Do the Twist," which is hillarious to some & the stuff of nightmares to others. Man, my mom LOVED Kenny G.

    Next time you do something 80s or 90s specific, I dare you to base it around episodes of Kids Encorporated.
  • TakaComics
    You're going to hate me, but I actually like Songbird and a handful of Kenny G music. However, You are right though, he doesn't belong on the pop charts. I also love making fun of Kenny G though, so hearing your rant almost made me fall out of my chair. Good list, even though I still like a few songs you named.
  • MadMusicianX
    avatar
    [size=medium][/size]I just wanna know Todd, can you try to review Milli Vanilli? He's known as the worst artist ever! I've heard his music, and after the song was over, there was a waterfall of blood coming out of my ears! So I was wondering if you can review one of his songs. [size=medium][/size]
  • Redrally
    Milli Vanilli was a duo, they were a front for the guy who wrote and sang (not performed) all the original Boney M songs
  • MadMusicianX
    avatar
    Thanks for that correction, but you have to agree that he needs to review them, right?
  • Tetsuki
    avatar
    [color=maroon]One of the duo of Milli Vanilli committed suicide, or so I heard. I forget which one though. Milli Vanilli was 90s though, it would have to be on a list of bad 90s groups/songs. There is no shortage of them however [/color] :evil:
  • YoUnRcker_MoM
    avatar
    It was the dark-skin one. The one on "behind The Music" who was saying he was taking prescription drugs or something?
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