Ep 04: Telephone

(680 votes, average 4.95 out of 5)
Comments (202)
  • Zezlemet
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    wow I'm ou tof touch with popular music. Beyonce and Lady Gaga are rolling tohther now?
  • Zezlemet
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    it also affects jpop if you care about that
  • Korax
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    NNNOOOOO!!!
  • takineko
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    LMAO I laughed at the "tea-bag" joke way too hard and now I'm ashamed.

    The itchy song reminds me of the poison oak song in Animaniacs
    Scratch-an-sniff: "u want to sing about my poison oak?-- I think she's crazy"
    Warners: "DUH!!!"

  • GLKnight
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    I have yet to play this, but I can already tell how much this one hurt you...

    EDIT: Yep. I was right.
  • RolePlayHumor
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    Sad to see that Gaga's evil is spreading still x.x

    Great review as ever lol

    You are already one of my favorite people on the site lol
  • LauraRiddle
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    Ugggggggh, Lady Gaga. Part of me wants to like her, because she is actually a..uh, I dunno, singer, but then she pulls off stupid shit. It's like you said, she's puts everything in her image and nothing in her music, and it shows, as is obvious from this music video.

    But now you need to take down the terror of pop music-Miley Cyrus!
  • TheEvilYoshiKiller
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    He has already; check out his youtube channel. He takes down "Party in the USA"
  • GreatNocturn357
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    anyone notice the diet coke cans in her hair at the start of the song...or the part where it started to play.

    WHY?!
  • Asuka Soryu
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    SYMBOLISM!!!11!!2 Watched perhaps to much FilmBrain.
  • Bloodrealm  - Get it right!
    It isn't symbolism... It's:

    CAPITALISM!!1!
    OMFGMONEYZ!!2!
  • MSH-Hitman
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    Well I decided to give the video a go for kicks. I've seen these pop reviews pop up, but never wanted to check them out cause...I think pop is awful. Just can't stand a bit of most all modern pop I've come across in the past...10 years or more.

    I will say that the review was actually kind of entertaining. Music is different than say...watching a bad movie for me. So not sure if I'll keep up with the videos, but this did manage to hold my interest, which is saying something for a metalhead like me lol
  • metalmad
    Aye, my brother-in-metal, i've checked out all 20 vids on Todd's youtube channel and all of them are at least as funny as this one and so are his 3 previous videos on the site (even if one of them was lifted from his youtube channel).

    i think the main reason i watch these vids other than the fact that they are funny as hell, is that Todd provides a well-structured and educated review of modern pop songs which deserve to be destroyed, but he is still actually a fan of pop music, proving that pop music, even to it's fans, is becoming (become?) completely awful, and i just get a really satisfying feeling from a pop fan saying that pop is getting shit.
  • bassbait
    I hope both of you guys realize that genres are genres, and there is crap in every genre. Pop is most exclusively crap, as it's formatted to popularity, not to musical integrity. But metal is full of crap too, and what's worse? Poser metal! It's the worst of the worst when bands like Attack Attack! and Asking Alexandria exists.

    My favorite bands are all either Death Metal, Thrash Metal, or Heavy Metal, but I don't mind some pop songs. Ironically, I actually don't mind "Imma Be", which, although continuously stupid lyrically, and repetitive musically, is actually something I find interesting. It just interests me that a song that starts off so repetitive in the beginning can suddenly become a completely different key signature, tempo, and overall vibe. It's not a GOOD song, and I don't enjoy listening to it, but it's a breath of fresh air to see pop songs with a bit of progression to them.
  • uberjoe19
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    So you hate this music too? I thought I was alone for a second.

    Lady GaGa is too over-the-top and flashy for my taste. Also, she needs more downtuned guitars and blast beats.
  • Nash
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    On the one hand, I get the Bowie-esque vibe she's going for and I respect it. She actually IS talented and is a pretty decent singer songwriter. She also understands Bowie's glam-era penchant for spectacle and she's got a good handle on that aesthetic.

    On the other hand . . . THIS was worth being a single? Fuck's sake, "Speechless" is ten times the song this horrible thing is. Both the video and the song are just baffling.
  • Torchic91
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    Telephone is the direct sequel to Paparazzi, by the way. Lady Gaga has made that explicit.
  • MaxFan
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    I don't follow pop music at all, but I've been watching your reviews and they are entertaining.
  • Raziel
    LMAO!!! "How's that angry inch going for ya?"
  • Tezzle
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    You'd be surprised how many people don't turn their phone off when they don't want people to call them. My friend Dylan will leave his phone on when he's F***ING HIS GIRLFREIND, and then he gets pissed when people interrupt......TURN THE DAMN PHONE OFF, DUDE!
  • Arkz
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    i love how my friend puts it... you cant hate gaga because you cant hate someone that crazy
  • CrazyChris576
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    I beg to differ. I can and will hate her as much as I damn well please.

    Great review Todd. I like the Tarantino line a lot.
  • vid3oman64
    'Got an itchy leg! Got an itchy leg!' Very nice.

    Yeah, I stopped listening to music years ago, outside of instrumental/old stuff. I can't put up with the crap nowadays.
  • Lew the Sweater Guy
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    Ah, The Itchy Leg Song. That one takes me back. A lot more entertaining than any of the crap that comes out today.

    Also, it's a bit ironic that the ad playing before this video was one for MetroPCS. :0
  • sub
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    :( NOOOOOOOOOO.............. IT THE APOCOLIPSE!!!! :S
  • WaveMaker
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    XD Todd, you're reviews are so right and so funny it makes me want to hug you through the computer screen. Keep up the great work.
  • Kalo
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    THANK YOU TODD!
    "we need your consent to do the operation! COME HERE NOWW!" lol, also, the clips of all the "gaga language" was nice. I'll take that as a ringtone plz XD

    I was riding the Gaga train hard for a while there, until this abomination came out. I've been drowning in friends too devout to the church of Gaga to see this video for the unfocused, bloated, mess that it is, so I am hugely grateful to your review giving it the beating it deserves.

    The deviation from the lyrics in the images was frustrating, to say the least. Shallow as those lyrics are, I confess that they were easy for me to relate to in general when it comes to our phone obsessed ways.

    However, the blatant lack of focus and unity bothers me the most. Its obvious Gaga couldn't pick just one visual theme, so we have this weak, jumbled, unfocused mess. Patriotism? feminism? Materialism? Lesbianism? Revenge? PICK SOMETHING

    Gaga needs to accept how shallow a song like this is and give us what we want/expect from it: shallow imagery. Instead, she thought she could be "deep". To find the "depth" you need to be a devout and holy member of the church of Gaga, and I lost that tenuous grasp to this video. Gaga convert and proud. I still enjoy her, but she is but a popstar milking us for ringtone money.

    I feel like an dumbass because I didn't figure that out about the ringtones, by the way. And I was one of the saps that BOUGHT the damn telephone tone... ugh >.< Thanks for further releasing me from Gaga's demonic power.
  • jjflash
    Wow, and I thought Linkara had a high pain threshold when it came to bullhonkey in entertainment.

    Excellent work, Todd. Only you could successfully make that music video entertaining...if only so by the presence of your expert snark.

    Keep it up!
  • randommomentofdumbchick
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    I missed you're bad romance review.
    i agree with your analysis of telephone. I really really don't like it. I like the song though.

    for some reason i think its about her not answering her boyfriends phone because she's mad he doesn't pay attention to her. idk I'm probably reading into it too much.

    Beyonce's part is my least favorite. Thanks for the mention of her "acting".
  • Redrally
    As daft as the music video is, it's still interesting to watch and entertaining. All you have to do is accept its obnoxiousness :lol:

    Also, the Christina vid you showed has a lot of images previously seen in Madonna videos, so that's 2 starlets in one that Miss Aguilera ripped off.
  • KaylaKaze
    I agree with you about the song (though it's catchy despite its mindlessness) but totally disagree about the video. I thought the video was an incredible ride of over the top surrealism and general insanity. But that's just the sort of thing I like. It's not to everyone's taste. And on top of that, half the time I'm not sure if a product placement is actually a paid placement or a tongue-in-cheek commentary on the medium, pop culture, and modern society in general.
  • infernorage1
    Considering it would be illegal to feature their product in your video otherwise...it's product placement.
  • Deimos1984rd
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    [color=green]Good pop music is dying due to the bad music spreading it's plague...it must be stopped.[/color]
  • Raeton
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    Trouble? No, we're not in trouble. We're all screwed.
  • SpiderSlayr
    "Telephone" is my favorite song off The Fame Monster and I really like it alot. It's extremely catchy has a great beat and some good vocals along with it (well, at least by Gaga anyways). The music video on the other hand made no sense whatsoever, but it was a little fun to watch.

    Another awesome review, Todd. It's always fun to hear you rip on current pop songs, even if I like them or not. :D
  • TheLaughingFish
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    Now see, I actually like Lady Gaga, and I really like Telephone as well as several other songs of hers. She can actually sing, for one. I feel each album gets a little better in terms of songs - The Fame was kind of meh for me, The Fame Monster had a lot more songs I liked, and Born This Way is almost entirely composed of songs I liked. The problem is that, like someone else said, she puts too much into her image. That's great that she wants to do the "oddball" role, I have no issue with that, but it seems like she's trying too hard in that aspect for no good reason. She's a good artist, but it's like she thinks she's not.

    Though for the record I don't count her as "pop" either, I count her more as techno.

    And also, it's still hilarious to see people roast her, if only for the fact that I enjoy watching people rant-review.
  • infernorage1
    I'm surprised, despite bringing up Brittany Spears in the beginning you didn't comment that Lady Gaga actually wrote Telephone for Brittany Spears to sing, but due to her life issues, ended up recording it herself (and has professed she is still a huge fan of Spears' and wants to do a duet with her sometime). Interesting little tidbit there.
  • ShadowWing Tronix
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    I'm betting "wants to do a duet" means she wants to make out with her. Why should Madonna have all the fun?

    And by fun I mean I'm headbutting the desk about now.

    Also nice to see I'm not the only one who thought about why she was getting called, but I went straight to "mom is dying in the hospital, come say your goodbyes".
  • mait0
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    In my country we have a phone song about unreachableness of god.
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