Hannah Montana: The Movie

(708 votes, average 4.95 out of 5)
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Comments (243)
  • The Dubya
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    Ah, so THIS is why you watched the Hannah Montana movie. I knew you had your reasons :blush: Could this be the beginning of Todd Musicals Reviews?!? :psychotic:

    As if hip-hop today is hurting enough already. Does the world REALLY need Miley Cyrus committing that ultimate act of sin with that...that....[b] WHATEVER THE HELL THAT WAS?![/b] :angry: :zombie: =O X_X :angry: :cool: :gah: :whistle: :eyebrow: o_O :nomnom: :dizzy: :onoes: :talkbiz:

    And yea that ending was total bullshit. What an AWFUL lesson to tell the young girls this is so painfully aimed at.

    "LOL no one cares about your FEELINGS or any of that garbage! Doing the same fake plastic generic organ-monkey-grinder pop slave shit is the ONLY way we're going to give a fuck about you! That is, until we find the next young naive pop star to shamelessly exploit!"

    Good ol' Disney :drunk:

    (and yes, I do enjoy overusing smileys ^_^)
  • LikaLaruku
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    So many bad teen musicals have come out in the past 11 years; what deserves to be slamed the hardest?

    btw, Hi TitS, I heard you died of a broken arm last night.
  • DarkSeason
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    Lol, Oregon Trail refrence.
  • ToonNinja
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    He DID last longer than the others. Maybe all that bad music steeled his resolve.

    Oh, and that HIP-HOP HOEDOWN was absolutely painful! :dizzy: T_T :sick: :flame: :zombie:
  • Virgil_theBadassPoet
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    Where is the OT reference?

    Oh, Todd, you rope a tame horse if you are bored.
  • badgersprite
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    I feel so sorry you had to watch this, let alone all the extra times you must have gone through it to prepare your review. Not even Guantanamo Bay would subject people to such cruel torment.

    ...The thought that little kids are growing up watching this Hannah Montana crap makes me fear for Generation Z. Although I do secretly watch iCarly, so I guess what they're growing up on is not all horrendously painful.

    Wow. I preferred Tyra Banks when she was shoe-fighting Debra Wilson on MADtv. And I totally dated myself with that reference, didn't I?

    Okay, I have never bought into her naive Tennessee girl shtick. Freaking hell, Justin Timberlake is from Tennessee! Miley, get over the Southern Country hick thing, girlfriend.

    HAHAHA SLAPSTICK HAHAHAHA no. Just no. Kids are not this freaking stupid. They don't find stumbling into plates funny. Please tell me that they don't.

    OH MY GOD! A SHOPPING MALL! NO! HOW DARE THEY CREATE HUNDREDS OF JOB OPPORTUNITIES FOR THIS ECONOMICALLY BACKWARD COMMUNITY! EEEEEEEEEEEVIL! EEEEEVIL! THINK OF THE TREES!

    The second Taylor Swift showed up...No, I'm not going to type it out. You know what I was expecting Miley to say. It's too dated to actually mention.

    The Hannah Montana wig must have exactly the same effect as Clark Kent's glasses. There's no other explanation.

    Why does cowhand love interest dress for their date like he just came from Church in the 1960s? oO Yeah, very smooth, dude. My Dad dresses cooler than him.

    As for the ending, most blatant Status Quo Is God ever. EVER! *to the tune of the conga* Reset Button Ending! Reset Button Ending! Reset Button Ending! Reset Button Ending!

    ...There's more? ...OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!
  • adrasl300
    The Hannah montana Wig is even more stupid because she puts it on to become Hannah not to blend in like Clark.
  • Virgil_theBadassPoet
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    :whisper: I just realized something. You usually have to pay out the ass to get a celebrity appearance at your birthday party. Lily gets one for free, and she is clearly friends with said celebrity. How is her showing up a bad thing AT ALL? Haley Joel's sister is starting to lose my confidence.

    T_T at your birthday Todd.


    Another thing, Billy Ray Cyrus may be a bad actor, but what is sad is that his acting fits in the show, e.g. it sucks but in the overall scheme of things, it is not that bad.

    This whole movie is a gigantic LOGIC FAIL!! XD :psychotic: :love: :music: =D
  • Pay-Ten
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    That always bugged me; I couldn't get past how she was upset by this. Because she upstaged her? What a pansy.
    As much as I would like to say I never watched this show...I do. I was the around the target audience when the show came out. So last year when I went to Vegas, I after a long day, I wanted to watch a movie at the hotel. I chose this one, wondering what exactly happened (the trailers got me). The more and more I watched it, the more I hated what they did. The show isn't perfect, but this poorly represents it. Hell, none of what happens even fits in with the show's story. Miley is thrown into several situations when the fame gets to her head, but she always realizes what's going on and changes; why does she act like this now? They added pointless characters (like the agent) and removed bigger ones (like Oliver, one of her best friends). And the ending was beyond garbage.

    0h,and they've made jokes about how she has several songs about her double life (I think Disney didn't know how big the show was going to be, so they just made quick,shallow songs about her life).
  • Virgil_theBadassPoet
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    o_O They're eating her. And then they're going to eat me. OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OD!!
  • PlayMp1
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    We don't have coffee in Nilbog. It's the devil's drink!
  • RTtheman12
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    I friggin love this guy. He's so awesome! He is awesome at music reviews as well as movie reviews. Plus there's more?

    Squeeeeeeeeeeee =D
  • aceawes0me
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    Holy Shit Todd........great job on stepping out of your element here.....Can't wait to see more!!
  • whatever42
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    I also liked this step outside your usual style Todd. I thought you did the review quite nicely and your comments were funny as hell. I also loved the touch on Yakety Sax by playinf it yourself. Nicely done. =D

    Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus/I don't care ... :sigh:

    Honestly, I'm surprised she hasn't crashed yet. I saw the show a bit because my sister liked it, which, thankfully, she has grown out of, and from what I saw, it was just like any other show of its ilk. I'm not sure why it was more popular than the rest and I could hardly believe it got a movie when I first heard of it. Thankfully, once again, she's severly dropping in popularity on a slope I hope will continue.

    By the way, that ending was HORRIBLE. That is one of the hugest 180s I've ever seen. I mean, I knew the movie would be bad, but ... DAMN. o_O

    Again, nice job Todd. I hope to see more of this nature in the future.
  • TheBlackMage
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    Isn't it sad when Miley Cyrus is easily out-acted
    and outclassed by an animated pink-haired
    bimbo who also led a double life? There's
    nothing truly outrageous about Miley/Hannah.
  • cutty_angel  - ummmm....
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    don't you mean there is nothing truly truly TRULY outrage about mil-nah?
  • TheBlackMage
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    Yes I did, but I thought that was implicit.
  • Virgil_theBadassPoet
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    Miley: Yo, Taylor I love ya and I'm gonna let you finish but I've got a crappy music number to perform.
  • SayaCeline
    I actually don't mind Hannah Montana. Then again I watched it when I was living in a tiny town for a summer with no job or anyone I knew and no other options.

    But yeah, talk about a screwed up ending. What kind of message does that send to young impressionable kids anyway?

    Love your review as always, Todd! =D
  • Valzahd
    avatar
    Wow that ending is... disgusting. I could ignore the overly cliched plot that was really just one big marketing gimmick. But that ending... wow, talk about a horrible moral to the story.

    Kids, never under any circumstance be yourself. You must always be what everyone else expects you to be, no matter what.

    Anyway, awesome review. Had me cracking up throughout.
  • Deimos1984rd
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    [color=green]I thank you for tearing apart the Hannah Montana movie and now bow to you, god I cannot stand Hanna fucking Montana.[/color]
  • jakthornn
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    Also, this movie basically says flat-out that pop stars like Miley here are all flavor but no substance. They don't MEAN anything they sing about. They don't write their own songs. For the most part, they don't REALLY care about the fans further than their wallets will allow; and no matter how badly being Hannah screws up her life, her father's life(Because of Miley's double-life, he'll never date or re-marry), or Lily's life, she should never stop!
  • blazn123
    me 2 and hes like my 2nd favorite tgwtg member
  • NintendoFanboy
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    I also read that the mayor in the movie...

    ...was Jet from Cowboy Bebop.

    T_T
  • repogirl91
    Well, Todd, it's clear why she embraced her Hannah persona. She saw Perfect Blue and didn't want to go insane from her pop idol persona haunting her as she tries to go about a different lifestyle, free of that image.

    Great review, by the way. :)
  • RolePlayHumor
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    I think this movie raped my ears....Q~Q
  • gameLink12
    fuck yea that was gold feel free to do more of this
  • DorknessFalls
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    I actually had no idea what the premise of that show was about. Thanks for clearing up how utterly stupid it is for me. Good review overall.

    As an aside, I really hate ferrets. They stink.
  • ThatNiceAtheistGuy
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    "OH MY GOD IT'S HANNAH MONTANA" *shows picture of spoony*
    I laughed so hard :D

    awesome review, please do more =)
  • Themonsean
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    Blond hair, brown hair, glasses, no glasses, superman complex.
  • frozencookie
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    Yes, Miley, the overrated actress/singer.
    This movies makes no sense, and the ending is...what the hell was that?

    You know when I felt sorry for somebody?
    When you were alone at your birthday party.
    But this movies just makes me feel one thing: anger. Do the producers think we're stupid? And when I think somebodys trying to make a fool out of the audience, I get really angry.
  • Jael
    avatar
    That ending is probably one of the biggest "fuck yous" to the audience ever recorded on film in recent memory. It's so bad, I can't even think of any other movie ending that would come close to that.

    But anyways, I love the fact that you took a risk with reviewing a movie "musical" rather than your usual "riff the number one Billboard single" fare.

    If the next movie that Todd is going to review is what I think it is, then I'm going to need an extra bottle of Jack Daniels on hand. It's not that I hate Miley Cyrus. It's that I hate Miley Cyrus and Nicholas Sparks with a passion.
  • motormind
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    One question: how do you keep your face in the shade so consistently all the time? Do you simply edit out the screw-ups?
  • Assassinxavier 88
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    T_T that that was just Awful i want to cry Todd good job but this movie was just Awful T_T
  • H2O
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    I liked the "We'll keep your secret" scene from Spider-Man actually. There's a big differences from a couple dozen people keeping your identity a secret after you save their lives and hundreds of people demanding you keep up a charade for their amusement after you've made it clear leading a double life has caused you a lot of mental and emotional anguish. Plus [b]that[/b] movie was actually really good.
  • Snarky McBullhorn
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    :grr: Fuck Disney; that's all I can say at the moment.
  • favselector
    what i hated about this movie was that I wanted to see the movie Strange Wilderness but i couldn't get inside the fucking theater because of the Hannah Montana fans crowding the fucking place
  • jalford
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    [color=red]White people shouldn't rap!!![/color]
    [img]http:// i106.piczo.com/view/2/0/ q/w/h/4/u/e/y/z/l/l/img/ t156188851_42583_3.gif[/ img]
  • pariah  - EVERYBODY shouldn't rap!
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    And i really feel like i need to watch Völkerball again now.
  • Super_Happy_Guy
    Rap shouldn't exist at all then?

    You sir, are an idiot.
  • pariah  - No, i just hate rap.
    avatar
    And i am not racist, either; I don't care if you are black, white, whatever, i just think EVERYBODY shouldn't rap.
  • 20thCenturyMotherfucker
    I like how you follow up your statement that white people shouldn't rap with an italian plumber. Also, Sage Francis.
  • LikaLaruku
    avatar
    Damn chick flicks & their icky girly-girliness. -_-

    Blah blah hair, blah blah nails, blah blah shoes, blah blah diet, blah blah organic, blah blah boys, blah blah celebrities, blah blah singers, blah blah reality shows, blah blah designger purses, blah blah femanine hygene, blah blah going green, blah blah wedding, blah blah babies, blah blah tan, blah blah beauty secrets, blah blah me-me-me, blah blah emotional baggage, blah blah social networking, blah blah Twilight, blah blah Justin Bieber. :nuu:

    Hanna Montanna = Hurtgasm.

    The "unwanted mall in a small town" & "double identity crisis" things have both been done to death.

    So it's just like telling a Reggea artists that his music is only good when he's preforming & writing while on drugs.
  • Emradrig
    avatar
    I'm reminded of Nocturnal's Cowl from the game Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. It was a magical mask stolen from the goddess of nightmares that changes the identity of the wearer. Regardless of what size, body type, race or gender you were whenever you put on the cowl you would instantly become The Gray Fox (a legendary Robin Hood type criminal) and your former self would cease to exist. When you took the cowl off you would become yourself again. If you are being chased by the town guards while wearing it all you ha to do was hide behind a wall and take it off and suddenly they'd loose track of the Gray Fox. That person standing there wearing the exact same outfit surely is just some innocent bystander.

    Perhaps Hannah Montana's wig is some kind of magical artifact that once belonged to an evil deity too.
  • KillerBunnyFooFoo  - Future musical fails
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    Nice new direction, and congrats on finding a new place to be in the shadows in. If you decide to do a few more, you always have "Glitter", "Crossroads", and "From Justin to Kelly".

    Dear God, that's how it ends? WTF? This truly does beat the horribleness of Lizzie Maguire. Why oh why can't Miley Cyrus disappear the same way?

    And yes, because we were all asking for that shiny ecstasy crap to rock out to. Again, Todd, you have more will than I.
  • azarath17  - Lizzie
    avatar
    Dude. Why you trashing Lizzie? At least she didn't pollute the airwaves with trashy songs about a STUPID DOUBLE LIFE THAT ANYONE WITH HALF A BRAIN CELL COULD FIGURE OUT! Hilary Duff has a decent career and frankly her songs are of much better quality than ANYTHING Miley/Hannah/SlutHo ever produced! Seriously. Lizzie McGuire was a lot of girls' childhoods. Do not EVER lump that show in with THIS MONSTROSITY OF A PUKEY SHOW CALLED HANNAH MONTANA!
  • ArtticWitchica
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    YAY! I got to see this piece of crap movie with out actually see it XD Don't you love video reviews.

    Thanks so much for the review I always look forward to one of your videos.
  • NoblePhantasm
    avatar
    Admittedly, I was getting a bit impatient about you not putting up a review sooner, but damn...

    Todd, you're the man!

    Props for HannahSpoony XD
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