1ups are real...need to find the exclusive block with them inside and bash them on my head.
The Ruins
Written by Phelous Tuesday, 24 March 2009 23:39
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Comments (121)
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Luckily for me, as I was too busy being a jackass to believe the plant would actually kill me, there was a Lakitu fishing nearby and the 1UP got away from him.
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I can't believe there is anything this atrocious without being made by Uwe Boll. I'm more disgusted by this movie's sheer idiocy than the violence and gore. And how did the girl get away at the end when she clearly ran past the Mayans screaming while the last guy sacrifices himself for her. And the child bit! What are these people thinking?!!
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03.24.2009 - 20:37 | Lillyvon
You have saved me some download time let me tell you. I was 'slightly' curious - but now I would get just as angry as you - if not more so. Please do The Happening next - because it was just as silly!
GO PLANTS GO!
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07.07.2010 - 15:46 | jurf-rokstar
What the Hell was The Happening?
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03.24.2009 - 20:48 | Linkara
"Shut up! Those are close to being relevant things to say!" XD
...Could've done without seeing the dismemberment. ^^;
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03.24.2009 - 20:56 | HatefulCactus
Just do what I do. Close your eyes and listen to the music.
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03.26.2009 - 05:43 | PhelousHaha but it was pretty much the best part of the movie, and like Hatefulcactus said at least I put pretty music to it. :whistle:
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03.26.2009 - 19:19 | Sarcasmagasm
The pretty music was what made it so funny.
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Wow films like this NEED to be destroyed and never talked about again. Boy oh boy its just too bad! I hate badly scripted piles of trash like this. PLEASE BURN THIS VHS TAPE!
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03.24.2009 - 21:20 | Sanosuke
wow this movie sucks so bad i had to skip some of this video just because i couldnt take it anymore
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I was read an article after crappy horror movies like this.
In it, a producer said they make tons of money and they hire nobodys so they barely have to pay them.
So these types of movies will never stop being made.
Well clearly that wasn't the whole article, but that's the bit I remembered from it.
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Awesome review. Kind of disturbing that I knew they were going to cut the first victim's legs off before they did it, it would of been nice of them to uh I don't know KNOCK HIM OUT COLD!!!!!!!! that would at least ease his pain. Once again a great review which made me bust out with laughter. Wait wha...???...this movie was directed by BEN STILLER????!!!??
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03.26.2009 - 05:47 | PhelousNah not directed, he was an executive producer because it was his friend who wrote the screenplay and novel.
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03.24.2009 - 22:57 | untmdsprtWhere the f*** did you find this crap? I'm surprised Doug didn't review it. I can just imagine his comments for the movie.
The sad part is people are giving this movie 6 stars out of 10 on IMDB :0 The other sad part is Ben Stiller is tarnishing his name just because he knows the novelist.
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03.26.2009 - 19:23 | SarcasmagasmThis movie is too new for Doug to review, I mean he IS the "Nostalgia Critic".
also, I think Ben Stiller has been doing enough bad movies on his own to tarnish his name.
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03.25.2009 - 01:02 | DrGero
Pretty good. Would've been nice if you mentioned something about how movies like this are expected to be watched with a certain set of standards in mind, and even then it falls far short, but meh.
Your reaction clips are a little too... over the top for me, but I can understand the sentiment.
Also, Nightmare!
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03.25.2009 - 01:24 | Mangalf
I saw this movie at the sneak preview. At some point,I figured the only way not to burst out in disgust was to see it in a funy way.
So I had my joy with the unnecessary dismembering of Mathias' legs as well as the blond girl cutting thick slices of her leg.
It's also nice to see that the girl who is the cause of EVERYTHING bad happening in this movie is the sole survivor in the end.
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03.25.2009 - 02:12 | PigFaic
Hilarious work. And Nightmare rocks.
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03.25.2009 - 04:20 | DeaDBolTMy god this movie sucks, didnt even know it existed.
Well, everything i could say about the movie has allready been posted here by others.
I have to admit i liked this review more then your older one's, simply because its a bit cut down in length.
Would love to see you review more movies the same way.
Cheers,
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You have Nightmare in the backround. That board game kicked a**. The Gatekeeper cracks me up every time. Do you have any of the expansions for it?
...what... the hell was that movie...about? Seriously, besides Alone in the Dark (Uwe Boll, of course), I can't think of another movie more hideous than this...what the heck? I saw this on TV, but at the end when they were all being killed...
God what an awful movie...
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03.26.2009 - 05:51 | PhelousI banish you to the BLACK HOLE! (better than being banished to the BROWN HOLE believe me)
I've got the Baron Samedi expansion for it.
You turned it on TV to the right part, then. ;)
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First off, I think it was important to show the leg-removal scene. I know a lot of people (i.e. me) who will still ignore bad reviews and see a movie. It's better for them to see stuff like that to help them make up their minds.
So yeah, this movie is really bad. The idea of 'random Mayans' as your 'there is no escape' device is just sad. Also, aren't most ruins like that FOUR sided. I guess you can explain some of that away with them just being, you know, ruins. It's sad to see an Ashmore dragged down by this movie. On the plus side, there's another identical one to spare still. Hurray!
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The Monti-Czardas with the leg cutting made me laugh my coffee out of my nose (it was strong!).
And who are these "csontos" guys?
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03.25.2009 - 10:20 | HatefulCactusTheir are three Csontos brothers that act in Phelan's Mortal Komedy series.
Stephen Csontos - Shao Khan/Santa Claus, Attila Csontos - Liu Kang, Alex Csontos - Stryker
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I don't understand why you're so popular. The movie was so stupid I wanted to see the whole thing through, but you did nothing to enhance the experience. Its like watching a mental patient review movies...and not in a good way.
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03.25.2009 - 07:58 | Omochao
1: hes not popular, when he first came on the site most comments were negative.
2: if you dont like his style dont watch.
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03.25.2009 - 08:00 | Omochaooh and 3: if you want to see the more uninterrupted, watch the movie.
4: your saying its like watching a mentally disabled person because he talks slow?
great video phelan :0)
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I mean, there's a point where you can't even apologize for that shit. Now you're just being malicious. Also, how would watching a mental patient review movies ever be a good thing, just wondering?
Anyways, I was careful to be totally wasted when I saw this movie, so I really only remember the leg scene. I used the same approach with The Good Son, but I had to be totally smashed for that one to make sense. :pinch:
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03.25.2009 - 09:33 | NeonLightsSo I take it I was the only one who played Benny Hill music to the dismemberment?
>.>
And let me guess, the guys who made the Last Summer crappy sequel will this one?
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03.25.2009 - 10:12 | Lotus Prince
I thought you were supposed to take acting lessons before attempting to emote in a movie. Somehow ALL of these kids dodged that bullet.
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I knew I would never want to watch this movie. I heard"killer plants" and said, "No thanks". Now Phelan has shown precisely why no one should watch this movie and give these people any money. Maybe, just maybe, these people won't make any more movies. One can dream... Great Job, Phelan! Maybe bring more Mortal Komedy vids on this site?
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03.26.2009 - 05:54 | PhelousThey should be a coming at some point. :D
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03.25.2009 - 11:14 | MEGAMAXX5000YE, I REALLY WANTED TO SEE U REVIEW THIS MOVIE, O AND WAT TYPE OF CAM,ERA DO U HAVE CAUSE ITS REALLY GOOD.THIS IS HD!!!!
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03.25.2009 - 11:37 | Fox_Silent-K
Are you specializing in reviewing horrible horror films, with the exception of Mac and Me... that one I just don't know what that could be classified under... nor want to know.
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03.26.2009 - 05:54 | PhelousAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
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03.25.2009 - 13:11 | benzaie
nice review...this movie is GARBAGE OMG/// thanks for sharing it...
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03.26.2009 - 05:55 | PhelousThanks Ben! Glad you liked it.
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03.25.2009 - 14:19 | SuperSonicGoku
When the girl stabs the guy, she looks like a witch from left 4 dead
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03.25.2009 - 14:33 | Dukect
This Movie is Fail
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