Finally, I've been waiting for this!
Birdemic Part 2
Written by Phelous Wednesday, 16 March 2011 22:44
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Comments (147)
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03.16.2011 - 23:13 | RockmanX3
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03.17.2011 - 05:47 | ggbhtg
I'm seamlessly editing myself onto this page because....insert funny reason that I forgot here because I just now fully understood how bad this movie was.
I mean....wow. I gotta watch this movie.
Agh, your superior video quality at the end actually hurt my eyes a bit.
Ok, so now Coat Hangers > Snow > Camera > Shotgun? Jeez, shotguns are so low-tier now! I don't think you can use that Resident Evil sound clip anymore! :P
Now for the part of my comment that's actually interesting and that's because [SILENCEFELL]..........
......................... ......................... .[/SILENCEFELL] Global Warming.
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I wasn't even aware it was possible to fail this badly. That was horrible editing. It fails as a romance and it REALLY fails as a monster flick. Heck, Braviary would be more threatening of a monster. And I don't mean like rendered with feathers and claws, I mean the moving game sprite. Scratch that, Pidgey would be more threatening. No, y'know what? Bring a live sparrow to the set of this movie. THAT would be more threatening. Good grief, it seems like a donkey edited this movie. Using his penis. Phelous, you are either brave or stupid for putting yourself through this. Either way, I applaud your efforts, you made it fun to mock. Or rather it was fun to watch you mock it.
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03.18.2011 - 19:40 | Taufiq91
We were all waiting for this.
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03.16.2011 - 23:16 | e33lafI saw this video earlier on your site Phelous and I just wanted to let you know what a fantasic job you did with this review.
I may not know squat about filmmaking, but I know enough to be certain that Birdemic is just pure cinematic failure on absolutely every conceivable level. For goodness sakes, the amateur clips filmed for the end of the video were 1000X better executed then the real scenes they were parodying.
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03.17.2011 - 00:36 | LikaLaruku
Hahaha, that's the song Jerrid left on Brad (Jones')phone.
Okey, Doug was wrong...The graphics in this are at least on par with Langoliers, if not worse. I really can't decide.
Brownie points for Get Smart. XD
Damn, I can't remember the last time I saw a student film with both acting & editing this bad.
Lol, so bad it's funny, like s train wreck you can't look away from.Just like Bakshi's Lord of the Rings (which is probably a student film too).
The gun sounds like someone's beating on a trash can lid with two metal spatulas.
Meh, seaweed is better dried & salted.
Trainwreck, because you can't look away. So bad it's funny, like Bakshi's Lord of the rings.
Lol, great skit at the end. "Okay, now that I've locked myself in the car, global warming is over."
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03.17.2011 - 01:36 | DorknessFalls
Considering The Langoliers was a made for TV mini-series in 1995 and this is a 2008 movie I really hope you were joking. The CGI in the television show clearly didn't hold up over time and they were probably going for them being more mysterious and alien than they came off. Birdemic has none of those excuses and is vastly worse quality.
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03.17.2011 - 23:28 | LikaLarukuCG was NEW in the early 90s. The Langoliers had a valid excuse for looking terrible. But so does this movie, because it's a no-budget independent film.
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03.17.2011 - 08:00 | mrskippy
Worst part: this wasn't a student film. Also, I'd be careful about what you say on the subject of Bakshi's LOTR around here...a certain Guy With The Glasses might have a few disagreements, lol.
I looked up the interview Phelous referenced. The movie was so bad, and the director so delusional, that the reporter literally couldn't stay "professional" or try to keep from hurting the guy's feelings. She basically spent the interview acting astounded that this guy even made a movie. It was loltastic.
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Even if this was a student film there would still be no excuse. I've made and seen many home movies and student films for many years and never before have I seen such a waste of time.
Birdemic's "Director" James Nguyen makes Harold P. Warren look like Stanley Kubrick.
Failure
–noun
1. an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success:
2. nonperformance of something due, required, or expected:
3. James Nguyen's "Birdemic"
The Ed Wood movie claimed anyone could be a filmmaker and that is an aspiring story for all those who want to pursue a career in bringing their creativity to film; showing the world their stuff.
James Nguyen is not one of these people. Every problem in "Birdemic" starts with the word "poor." Poor editing, acting, sound, directing, special effects, characters, script, and use of a day on this planet. This is the kind of film that pisses me off. This is cinematic vomit, an insult to people who dream of making films.
Great Review Phelous.
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03.17.2011 - 18:50 | Kaor
Sooo.....yeah, a sequel. they really are making a sequel. And now it's in 3D!!!!! No joke, it really is. And by the way, you know what this film's budget was? $10,000. Seriously, $10,000!!!! God this film socks.
By the way, the sequel comes out IN THEATRES SEPTEMBER 1st!!! And it's in 3D!
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BIRDEMIC 2: Feathered Photoshop! in 3-D!
"WOW! It's like the failure is actually flying out at me!" (Or hovering there motionless)
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03.17.2011 - 00:07 | Mr.Evil
Yes! The Epic Conclusion to the Epic Ending of this Epic [Insert Appropriately Derogratory Colorful Metaphor Here].
Thoughts, don't fail me now:
- Why are they exploding? Seriously, why? Korean kamikaze eagles, maybe?
- Quick, barricade the room!... and then leave it... wait, what?
- Coat hangers? COAT HANGERS?!
- Dead people! Let's check for... God, for snark bait, this movie is a target-rich environment.
- Nice to know that a full-scale birdemic isn't serious enough to stop traffic.
- No. No. Do not blame this on global warming! Birdemic, you're not helping!
Dear God, I'm only up to the first seven minutes of the review. I have to stop or my head might literally explode. Phelous, you're a better man than me.
Great review.
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:Really angry face: Not since Sage's reading of "My Immortal" have I been so intellectually outraged! This "movie" made me look up crime scene photos on Google I was so pissed! Not only are we dealing with adult retards still stuck in 2nd grade (i/e Wooden Rod and the director), but their ultra liberal occupational therapists who encourage them to touch on a subject that is WAY the fuck over their heads! I do sympathies with the bland though, she clearly wanted nothing to do with the shitheads or their damn movie. I'll bet after the "romantic" scene she ran into the bathroom to puke and scrub herself to death! Fuck you Birdemic! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!....But you were good Phelous.
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I am actually half convinced that this movie was written and made by some secret Ultra Conservative Cabal bent on making Liberals look like complete fucking retards. The shit this movie portrays is like what Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh think Liberals actually are.
Either that or 4Chan secretly made a movie.
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03.17.2011 - 00:07 | Ruby Doomsday
Aw man, you're right... it IS time to walk forward!
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03.17.2011 - 00:08 | Yung Ago
the movie is Troll 2 son
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03.17.2011 - 00:15 | The_Awesometeer
Do you live in a shack
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03.17.2011 - 00:38 | LikaLarukuI think he just set up his tool shed to be his studio.
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03.17.2011 - 01:32 | e33lafI think Phelous just uses his shed as a studio/man cave, I don't think he actually lives in there......at least I hope not.
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The shack has internet access and electricity, from the looks of it. Hell, I would totally live in it.
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03.17.2011 - 09:14 | Zeky0ZekyI don't he films there regulary. You can see that the walls of shed are different color than his usual set and you can see part of his house which looks like his house in Pulse. So he probably just decided to film in shed because of reasons.
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03.17.2011 - 00:16 | testzero
I don't tend to watch many of Phelous's reviews, but this was absolutely fucking HILARIOUS. Holy shit, Birdemic looks like it's going to be the next The Room.
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03.17.2011 - 00:18 | Valzahd
So by logic of this movie and Hobgoblins: When you join the military they give you grenades and assault rifles to carry around while you're on leave.
Also love the fact that they immediately decide cheap wire hangers are the best weapon in the motel room instead of say the metal rod in the closet.
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03.17.2011 - 09:43 | ChaosD1
I was poking around and found out that apparently they were supposed to use the Shower Rod as a weapon to escape the Hotel Room, but the Motel 6 they filmed in didn't use shower rods, so they took the closest thing to a weapon they could find.
My mind doesn't immediately race to "Coat Hangers" either.
Another fun fact is that Nguyen asked what would be an effective weapon against attacking birds. Birdemic 2 will have the main characters defending themselves with umbrellas now.
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03.17.2011 - 15:58 | Aura Master Fox
Personally, I think they should have used Wooden Rod as a weapon against the birds.
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03.17.2011 - 22:11 | ggbhtg..I GET IT! So punny!
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03.17.2011 - 00:20 | mumbls
This movie reminds me of "The Happening." The plot was a global warming message with the antagonist being part of nature and a horrible rip-off of "The Birds" from Hitchcock. At least that movie had realistic effects for the 60s.
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03.17.2011 - 00:29 | Gethenian
Okay, this.... is awesome.
All I want to know is... where the hell did this idiot get the funding to make Birdemic?? My production values are better than that and my production values are SHIT.
Hell, Phelous could make a movie a trillion times better than this soul-murdering nonsensical piece of hogwash. Why has this not happened yet??
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BUT YOU KEEP ON TOPING YOURSELF PHELAN! Seriously, the ending of that video is one of the funniest damn things ever posted on this website. I bow to you sir and your impeccable comedic talent.
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03.17.2011 - 00:54 | Damballa
Seriously, your parody at the end was still too high quality to compare with the level of terrible editing and acting of this hilarious piece of shit, and it ended up even funnier than the movie. How does that work!
Excellent 2-parter man, keep it up.
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03.17.2011 - 01:07 | inspectornills
You know, I'm trying to think up a reason why the birds explode and the most logical reason to me is that the birds themselves don't explode, its that they run into stuff that causes explosions, like the gas pump and random power line transformers in the first half of the attack, and I really did think that was the real reason they "explode", until the scene in the forest with the fire. Now, I'm just not sure.
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03.17.2011 - 09:49 | ChaosD1Nguyen has officially stated that GLOBAL WARMING made the birds toxic and explosive.
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Phelous, you've been my favorite reviewer here for a long time now, and you keep reminding me why. This review was absolutely fantastic.
This movie...my God this movie.
While Troll 2 will for ever in my eyes be the (best) worst movie ever made, this comes in third right after The Room. My friends are going to hate me when I make them sit down and watch this with me.
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03.17.2011 - 01:09 | brick mooncode
The only real problem is the plot. With a fun plot, the terribleness of the production would seem charming.
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03.17.2011 - 02:04 | Amaretta
Is that hippie guy from the forest played by Tommy Wiseau? o_0
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03.17.2011 - 02:24 | Winkuru
The birds stopped attacking because they realised that they were out of gas.
Mystery solved.
EDIT: You forgot to mention that there is going to be a sequel called Birdemic II: The Resurrection 3D.
http://www.imdb.com/ title/tt1674047/
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03.17.2011 - 10:03 | ChaosD1Stay after the credits.
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03.17.2011 - 02:14 | Fuery87It's already a cult hit like the Room. I think we can learn something from Nguyen and Wiseau. The easiest way to make a successful film with a low budget is to just fuck it up on every conceivable level. Make it so bad that everyone wants to see it just to see how terrible it is.
Honestly, if I hadn't seen Nguyen's interview, I would have assumed this was intended to show how not to make a movie. Also, I love how he tries to get preachy with the environmental message, but he can't seem to express it with any coherence whatsoever.
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03.17.2011 - 02:19 | Ben_from_G-town
Yes! The eagerly-awaited part 2 is here! I LOVED all your subtle jokes in here, especially the ones with the text on the screen where you put "devine" when Rod said fine, and your little parody at the end.
That director IS out of his mind... "Scary from a distant".. WTF?! By the way, where's that interview from? I'd like to watch it... but man.. oh man, one of the best reviews in a while.
"Oh no, global warming!" :D :D :D
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03.17.2011 - 02:20 | Rurik
All I can say about this movie is this. Screw you hippies!
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03.17.2011 - 02:26 | timusforlife
Ah man The Eagles AND The Beatles are destroying everything!
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03.17.2011 - 02:35 | rogueofmv
You can check out any time you like... but you can never leave.
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So there was the "silence will fall" reference i expected in the last video. :D
This is by far the worst film i've seen reviewed on the site. The Room was a masterpiece by comparison
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You know what would be worse?....Tommy Wiseau does "Birdemic." it would either be a complete shitstorm or both the bad elemants would cancel each other out and create a void in the fabric of space, like a cinematic limbo.
"We're being attacked by GIF birds!"
"hahahahaha what a funny story Mark...oh hai global warming."
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03.17.2011 - 16:03 | Aura Master FoxI would pay to see Tommy Wiseau's "Birdemic". Just to riff on it, of course.
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03.17.2011 - 21:20 | NintendoFanboy
You just an exploding chicken. Cheep! cheep! Cheep!
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I think we all should collect some money to grant you the budget for your own remake of this great movie!
I'd love to see your version in featured length! :-D
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03.17.2011 - 02:49 | Deimos1984rd
Oh god the bird screams.....My ears are bleeding.
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03.17.2011 - 03:15 | ShadeFawks
o.O well.... they get points for a unique concept? but lose twice as many for crappy effects, writing, act.... Everything
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03.17.2011 - 09:20 | TBTabbyAdding a ham-fisted environmental message to a Hitchcock ripoff does not a unique concept make.
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03.20.2011 - 18:40 | JackitK
Unique concept? Haven't you heard of the movie "The Bird" it's the same plot with the whole birds attacking human things and they used REAL effects. Or just read the book. :/
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03.17.2011 - 03:25 | JackG2
This has to be the worst movie you've reviewed yet, Phelous. Coincidentally, this also has to be the funniest review you've done yet.
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