Children of the Living Dead

Children of the Living Dead

Written by Phelous Wednesday, 26 January 2011 21:30

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(154 votes, average 4.89 out of 5)

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Comments (74)

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01.26.2011 - 21:40 | montanker

Maybe the special zombie had the same "mind-murdering- powers-because-he-was- dressed-as-a-girl" thing as Curtis from Phantasmagoria II!

Why didn't you include the guy from Nightmare City in your "stupid surprise moments" bit? You know,that face he makes when his girlfriend falls off the helicopter ladder! (>:D)

Maybe the zombies fell into the time-cracks from Doctor Who Season 5 and thats why no one remembers them!

This has been your funniest review for awhile, keep up the outstanding work!

01.26.2011 - 21:47 | ggbhtg

Uh..did you just review something?...I can't remember....I blame Devil Sage. :P

01.27.2011 - 22:07 | ggbhtg - Obligatory Doctor Who Quote Of The Week

"This" movie "was born out of" fail. "All it can do is" fail.

01.26.2011 - 22:16 | ab0rnloser

Nice review, Phelous.

This here coffin guy was hilarious

01.27.2011 - 00:16 | Charles_Thoreson - Phelous!

YOU should be the face of this website! You rock!
-Charles

01.27.2011 - 00:21 | Victor Clark

Good review! I remember seeing this as a kid, and I unfortunately thought it was decent then. What the hell was I thinking?!?

BTW, I'm surprised you didn't bring up the Matrix-esque shots they did more than once! They did the 360 freeze turn with Tom Savini's fight in the barn when he did a backflip. And during the final battle in the parking lot, they used a "slo-mo" bullet shot from the Sheriff to take out one zombie!

01.27.2011 - 00:21 | Damonashu

I've watched this movie before, its definitely as boring as I remember. Incidently, I apparently didn't watch it to the end, doesn't seem like I missed anything though.

01.27.2011 - 00:27 | MongoosEYo

I watched this movie at a friend's house once, on a free-from-comcast movie marathon of sorts. It was so incredibly boring that my friend's sister actually left half an hour in.
It starts in the middle of one movie, cuts into a completely different movie, and then ends at the beginning of a third movie. Genuinely awful, awful movie, not even funny.

01.27.2011 - 00:33 | badgersprite

WHAT! WHAT IS THIS? BLOOD?! HOPE THIS IS NOT NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD'S BLOOD!

I think this is Night Of The Living Dead's blood, though, because these last two movies have officially MURDERED ONE OF MY FAVOURITE MOVIES OF ALL TIME. /nerd rage

No, seriously, though, it's almost impossible to reconcile the fact that this movie was made by one of the original creators. I mean, Return Of The Living Dead as a series had its faults, but they were masterpieces compared to this.

01.27.2011 - 02:03 | e33laf

Um Phelous, holding a Sonic Screwdriver next to your head is probably not the smartest thing to do when trying to remember...some...thing.. .
...what did I just watch?

01.27.2011 - 00:46 | Taufiq91

Seriously, the hell?

Is this something like Crash, with zombies or something?

Because if they did that concept in this film, then congrats to John Russo for making a shittier zombie version of Crash worse than Nightmare City.

Oh and here's the Stupid Surprised Precious Moments Picture as a Wallpaper if any of you wanted it:

http:// img529.imageshack.us/ img529/1893/ stupidsurprised.jpg

01.27.2011 - 00:47 | CajunKhan

He should trade theme-songs with Film Brain.

01.27.2011 - 01:21 | Mr.Evil

Why Children of the Living Dead? Beacuse zombies love children... slightly aged to be tender with a nice red wine sauce and garnished with chalets and mushrooms. It's their version of veal.

I think I just disturbed myself.

Thoughts:

- C'mon, Phelous. Give the movie a break. We all know that zombies are invisible to human peripheral vision. You have to look right at them or else you can't see them.

- Completely forgot about a zombie uprising? Reminds me of that TV series years ago based on War of the Worlds where almost everyone in the world forgot about a global alien invasion where millions of people died. Yeah, the idea was stupid back then as well.

- Forced cross-dressing makes zombies semi-intelligent... I got nuthin'.

- Body -> Coffin -> Buried. You know, Phelous, the movies you review demonstrate some really sophisticated logic.

Good review.

01.27.2011 - 01:30 | Blinus

Does the stinger mean a Benzaie crossover next week?

Thanks for autographing Pulse 2006 and SH movie for me even if I couldn't be there in person. :-)

Oh, and you should totally review the slasher 'Valentine' for Valentine's week.

01.27.2011 - 07:32 | projoe719srise

More like Sad Panda since he said he'll do a cross over with Panda at MAGfest

01.27.2011 - 01:33 | Qarx

He became a zombie because he was dressed as a girl? So I suppose Bridget from Guilty Gear will have zombie powers when he dies, too lol.

01.27.2011 - 01:45 | Archedgar

The movie looks horribly boring.

Phelous had to watch the whole thing, ouch.

01.27.2011 - 01:47 | DreamingWings

Worst movie I've seen here? Be no means. One of the clumsiest though. The basic ideas seem like they could have worked in the hands of a far more competent director.

01.27.2011 - 01:53 | executor

Nice one, this movie was a hard sit.
But you got something wrong in the beginning: While "Return Of The Living Dead" was originaly a book and later a script from James Russo, the movie "Return Of The Living Dead" was not it's adaptation, cause the whole story got heavily rewritten from Dan O'Bannon to a point where the original story can't be recognized anymore.

In it's original form, Russos version told a story about a small town near in the area of the original "Night Of The Living Dead", that has special burieing precautions because of the epidemic in "Night", but as someone fucks that up the zombies are up and running again.

To be fair, Russos Story wasn't anything special and later he even wrote a comic called "Escape Of The Living Dead", that was little more than mindless carnage and nudity for the sake of it. At the end it can be said, that "Return Of The Living Dead - The Movie" is not at all or even in small parts Russos work, but probably better than the story, from which at the end they only used the title.

(And that was the thing that pissed Romero off so much, cause he made the deal with Russo so that everyone is allowed to do sequels, but at the end the 'sequel' called "Return Of..." wasn't really one and is not faithfull to the original story. And I personally would ad: "Just like Russos", but maybe that would be mean. :D)

01.27.2011 - 01:57 | Deimos1984rd

Ugh seriously if you're going to make a living dead movie to celebrate the original's anniversary, at least put effort in it and not make the acting so bad, what's next? animals of the living dead? cyborgs of the living dead? "sigh"

01.27.2011 - 02:02 | The_Awesometeer

I always thought it was weird that in zombie movies, zombie movies dont exist. Why do people never know what zombies are? If we had a zombie attack we would at least know what the movies tell us about them

01.27.2011 - 04:26 | Blues

I'm the opposite. I hate zombie movies that act like the people aren't surprised by the existence or attack of zombies and act like they know the "rules" to survive.... In theory anyway, those types of movies tend to be decent, zombieland was very overrated though.

It's like if people were suddenly being hunted down by a pack of wolves while lost in the woods, I doubt they'd be thinking of movies and shit.

01.27.2011 - 08:20 | Asuka Soryu

Wolves tend to give chase.

Zombies shamble.

"If you were attacked by a turtle, how would you have time to think of anything?"

01.27.2011 - 03:37 | KaylaKaze

Diamanda Hagan has also done this movie, so if you want to watch this movie be ridiculed more, go watch her vid. http:// diamandahaganlecherbitch. blip.tv/file/3865803/

01.27.2011 - 04:00 | ThatGuyWithTheSaxophone

Great review, Phelous! You are a god of getting annoyed :)

I suppose, the driving away shot was used to further stretch, that the man is an asshole, because he was parking on the spot for handycapped people ;-)

"I got to get to the bottom of!...nah, I don't care..."

01.27.2011 - 04:03 | Doitaiya

Crossover? :D YAY! I am looking forward to them since Magfest! For the review: This one was painful -_-' I really tried to understand WHY on earth someone paid money to produce this crap... There is just ONE good thing about this movie: You were able to review it :P I heart you!

01.27.2011 - 04:35 | malhex

i take it russo was watching sleep away camp when he decided to throw in the whole cross dressing angle for the zombie.

01.27.2011 - 04:48 | Daemon25

The continuity in that film was awful - not noticing the screw ups between shots is one thing, but to forgeet the entire plot of the previous movie, and half of what occurs in this movie is stupid and amatuerish.
I presume that the lack of remembrance of zombies was purely because they really couldn't be bothered to think 'what would actual people do after a zombie invasion?', and just thought that forgetting it was the better idea.

01.27.2011 - 05:08 | PLA

Benzaie, you say?

01.27.2011 - 05:39 | FlowinEnno - As if Vince wasn't enough

What the hell is wrong with people named Russo?

01.27.2011 - 06:33 | Shinigami

So people collectively just forgot whole major zombie outbreaks.

01.27.2011 - 06:35 | penpaninu

"yeah you, learn how to lock up the outdoors or you're fired!" lol

01.27.2011 - 06:57 | jalford

You know that house was an office by the professionally-made sign that says "OFFICE" in black crayon on a piece of cardboard.

01.27.2011 - 07:21 | distrotion

Nice Resident evil game in the back :P

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