Thankskilling
Written by Phelous Wednesday, 01 December 2010 21:35
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Comments (167)
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12.01.2010 - 21:45 | FullmetalNinja25
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12.02.2010 - 03:42 | Virgil_theBadassPoet
It wasn't bad. Because it was never trying to be good. It makes it clear at the end that this is a good example of the opposite of a Michael Bay film. Where a movie doesn't take one iota of itself seriously. So the result is just as bad as if the movie took itself completely serious.
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12.02.2010 - 04:27 | dennett316
No no, it was bad because they were trying to be funny and failed. All those "jokes" were genuine attempts to parody Z-grade exploitation films, they just failed because whoever "wrote" this was a talentless moron.
Want to see the concept done properly? Watch Killer Klowns From Outer Space....then you'll see how badly this one was done.
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12.02.2010 - 23:02 | shrimppuff423
huh... it's neat to see you put that golf club to good use after seeing it in the background for so long
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12.03.2010 - 10:10 | Phelous
Haha yeah that thing like hasn't moved sense Funny Games.
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12.02.2010 - 22:42 | Annie-Mae
I have to agree with you on this. If it was made to be bad and it is bad, then it was a successful movie. It's a lot better then movies that turn out bad, when they were trying to make a good film.
Thumbs down my comment if you must but I enjoyed the small clips of the movie more then I enjoyed the review.
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12.03.2010 - 04:22 | Asuka Soryu
Yes, because failing at something and then saying you did it on pourpose makes you a winner. -Sarcasam-
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12.03.2010 - 10:23 | NintendoFanboy
*Cough(Tommy Wiseau)cough*
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12.04.2010 - 22:54 | montanker
"You are tearing me apart Evil Turkey!"
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05.08.2012 - 22:28 | TheDUDERulez!
Are you saying that you thought that this film was funny? I love these kinds of movies ussually, one of my favorites being Santa's Slay, but this film didn't even get a chuckle out of me. If you liked it, that's fine, but this film just turned me into a red lantern.
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12.02.2010 - 16:34 | LikaLaruku
"Oh my!" glugglugglugglugglugglug "This is a movie I've seen in my life!"
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12.03.2010 - 04:20 | Asuka SoryuCan't argue with that.
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12.01.2010 - 21:59 | montankerI know why the guy's mom was already dead:
guilty...
Also, why haven't you been dying recently? I miss your hilarious deaths! (Well Pester died. Was that technically you?)
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12.01.2010 - 23:30 | MPSai
Well clearly it's because he's a Timelord now.
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12.02.2010 - 23:02 | montankerTimelords can die! The Doctor is the last of the Timelords isn't he?
And LordKat said he was gonna die...a lot! Where's the clever deaths dammit?
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12.01.2010 - 23:47 | Taufiq91
Oh my god,
Worst Horror Film Dialogue. Ever!
WTF am i watching?! What kind of dialogue are they spewing?
What's up with the douchebag main character? He will miss his mom's cooking? DUDE SHE JUST DIED! If you have nothing else to say, just shut up and cry!
Are the writers even human? it seems to me the writers of this POS are aliens trying to imitate human dialogue, and failing.
Note to writers: When you write dialogue, write it like it's a normal conversation.
And another thing: SUBTLETY! None of your jokes work because it's not subtle. All the jokes you ahd could have been funny if it'sa subtle, like Shaun of the Dead or Frankestein Jr., especially the turkey fucking, and the fart jokes. You had your chance writers, and you failed. YOU FAILED YOUR OWN FILM!
If you want a good Thanksgiving Horror film, just watch Eli Roth's trailer for "Thanksgiving", which is ironic since it's Eli Roth.
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12.02.2010 - 16:35 | LikaLarukuI'm voting Goulies for worst horror dialogue.
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12.01.2010 - 23:50 | Oancitizen
"This is bad comedy!"
Wait, does this mean that Phelous watches Diamanda Hagan?
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12.02.2010 - 00:40 | DoomPL
Lol Nice job
Tho this seems like a movie the Cinema Snob would review.
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12.01.2010 - 23:55 | August M.
You SUCK McBane!!! BAM!!!
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12.01.2010 - 23:56 | FernieFiction
I had the same reactions when i saw this piece of shit movie. I almost couldnt sit through the whole movie. I dont know why i wasted an hour of my life on this movie, everything about this was horrible.
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Holy guacamole this has to be the worst thing you’ve ever reviewed. It’s like the modern reincarnation of Weasels Rip My Flesh.
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12.02.2010 - 00:03 | FernieFictionHaha! Yes, i saw weasels rip my flesh a couple days ago. Jesus Christ, it was horrible!
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12.02.2010 - 00:01 | FernieFictionAwesome vid btw. I couldnt stop laughing when you just stared at the camera after the "you just got stuffed!" and the gravy condom joke. Haha!
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12.02.2010 - 00:05 | DuosAngel
Awesome review Phelous. One thing though, the part where you have the freak out over the turkey fucking that girl lasted a little to long. Everything else (that wasn't this god awful movie) was comedy gold.
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12.03.2010 - 10:17 | PhelousYeah I wanted the joke of that to be partly the length of it but I obviously can see some people finding it too long.
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12.02.2010 - 00:17 | brick mooncode
I prefer Pester Z. Bum, more realistic. People are dying in the streets, man. It's like a jungle sometimes, it makes me wonder how I keep from going under.
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12.02.2010 - 00:19 | Deimos1984rd
That was one of the worst movies I have ever seen....good god the jokes in that movie made me want to punch someone...Great review and happy late thanksgiving Phelous.
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12.02.2010 - 00:26 | The Straightener
This is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. I started laughing so hard I woke up everyone in my house. I love you, man.
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12.02.2010 - 00:27 | Violator
5 stars for Pester
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12.02.2010 - 00:28 | dr_mayus
When you just stared at the screen after that laughing fit I thought "Dear God, finally a movie broke Phelous' brain"
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12.02.2010 - 00:29 | Jael
Who wrote this script? Did Seltzerberg write the Thankskilling screenplay for an assignment in the seventh grade only to loose it through a time warp and have it reappear in 2009?
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12.02.2010 - 04:31 | dennett316Hey now, the creators of this dreck may be talentless assholes, but they're no Seltzeberg.....don't be so mean. ;)
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Bad movie, good review. The idea of a killer turkey is beyond silly and stupid. This makes Evil Toons look more sophisticated. The only similarity is that both monsters get laid...well in Evil Toons, its more of a rape...eh...Anyway, Pester was great.
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12.02.2010 - 00:30 | badgersprite
...You know a movie is bad when it has a sex scene more warped than the stuff I've read in crack!fic...
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12.02.2010 - 00:32 | whatever42
You know, I thought I'd seen you review some really awful movies and I have. However, barely anything even begins to compare to this ... this ... abomination.
We've seen some stupid killers, like bunnies and Santaberg, but this one takes that even further. A randomly cursing killer turkey that decides to rape one of the girls ... If I didn't have good control, I would've headdesked so hard I would've broken a multiple desks.
Good on you for getting through this travesty. I can only hope the next one isn't as bad, although that shouldn't be too hard.
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12.02.2010 - 00:38 | Themonsean
Who gave the Bum a shotgun?
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12.02.2010 - 00:44 | Moomoof
the whole turkey fucked a girl up the ass thing was funny as hell xD
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12.02.2010 - 10:26 | QuestionTheMajority
No it wasn't. Unless you meant Phelous' response to it. Then it was. Also, am I the only one who noticed that the turkey apparently fucks her with his neck?
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12.02.2010 - 22:35 | Moomoofyea thats what i meant....the actual scene was random and poorly done.
what else would i say?
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12.02.2010 - 00:48 | Kimarous
Wow... it's like Weasels Rip My Flesh with slightly higher production values and the tastelessness of Island of Death.
BTW, Pester Z. Bum was fun. I, for one, would like to see more of him. ^_^
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12.02.2010 - 00:52 | chupsnd
i remember watching this. it actually made me laugh because it was so stupid.
especially when they couldn't figure out it was the turkey wearing her dad's face as a mask
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12.02.2010 - 01:00 | NintendoFanboy19:26
I'd like to thank Mr. Pester for perfectly capturing my feelings toward this movie.
...CUT!!
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12.02.2010 - 01:07 | RockmanX3All of this movie literally had to be intentional. There's no way it could be bad by mistake.
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12.02.2010 - 04:34 | dennett316Oh it was supposed to be funny because of the intentional shittyness, but they even messed that up....so they actually fail at failing.
That's a new level of sucking they reached right there.
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12.02.2010 - 01:09 | Mr.Evil
You haven't been dying as much in the last few reviews, Pheleus. You must try harder!
Thoughts:
- I have this sneaking suspicion that this movie was inspired by Poultrygeist, another gore-ladden attempt at horror-comedy involving fowl intentions (yeah, I hate myself already). If you ever feel creatively inspired by a Troma movie, you should seek psychiatric help immediately.
- And the quest for subtlety in American-based comedy continues.
- Pester E. Bum: the most convincing bum yet to grace TGWTG. I truly bought his love of alcohol.
- To be fair, we've had more than a few Halloween and Christmas-themed horror movies over the years. Thanksgiving needed some representation.
{Insert good review comment here}
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12.02.2010 - 01:13 | Mad_ScientistOh wow, just when I think the movies you review can't get any lower, we get this. Wow.
I'm reminded of Christmas Slay a little bit, but your review of that made it look like it might be at least little fun and silly at times, while this is just plain bad all around. Ugh.
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12.02.2010 - 01:16 | Dolphin34I thought i had seen it all on this site. The Room, Asylum movies, a talking vagina. But a Butt fucking turkey is just... wow i have no words for that.
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12.02.2010 - 14:46 | ScionVyse
The Snob's review of "Chatterbox".
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12.02.2010 - 01:19 | Dr Forrester
Haha. My little brother showed me parts of this movie a while back, and I couldn't help but be amazed that movies of this poor quality are actually still made! Last thing I was expecting was to see Phelous review it. Great job dude
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12.02.2010 - 01:24 | TBTabby...Hello? Bio-Dome? I'm sorry! I want you back!
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12.02.2010 - 04:35 | dennett316The turkey was FAR less annoying than Pauly Shore.
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God this movie was awful. D:
Great video Phelous! :D