Stay Alive
Written by Phelous Wednesday, 20 October 2010 22:37
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Comments (146)
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10.20.2010 - 22:57 | Jackass Mask
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10.21.2010 - 05:08 | Lotus Prince
I remember when this movie first came out. 4Chan was full of pictures of games like Tetris and Minesweeper, with the caption IF YOU DIE IN THE GAME, YOU DIE FOR REAL. :-D
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10.21.2010 - 23:46 | ChaosD1
I preferred the one with Mr. Resetti from Animal Crossing. It was... fitting.
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10.22.2010 - 01:06 | Divide By Zero
That's hilarious.
That little guy freaked me out the first time he popped up.
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12.07.2010 - 12:08 | forsaken7089
The movie may have been shit, but look on the bright side... it gave way for his video, and PHEL'S VIDEO WAS AWESOME.
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...what I kept noticing was the Alienware product placement. XD Weird.
If I think of a coming-back-to-life method that hasn't already been used in another review, I'll suggest it.
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10.20.2010 - 23:10 | Kevin Servo
Phelous you poor poor man... Having to watch Stay Alive is one of the most painful punishments to endure, rivaling Alone in the Dark and Saw II through whatever the hell they're up to.
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10.20.2010 - 23:18 | Ben_from_G-town
Is this new? Was it just posted? I think so, because I saw it appear as I was about to watch some of your other videos!
Anyway, this review was one of your best yet, and I was laughing my ass off throughout!
I have to admit the Silent Hill trick is a bit of a stretch since only the most hardcore fans would know of that, but the other things they showed, such as dying because you paused it (just walking away from the game and not pausing it, or leaving an unpausable game unattended would make sense, but not this) and not to mention the game started cheating, and the whole thing with the programmer and author were just to buy time, and largely could have been left out.
I remember when this thing came out "If you die in the game, you die for real", I remember it sounded so stupid, and of course I had no plans of seeing it. It is one of those that I had hoped you'd review some day, haha!
There is still the other internet killing game you need to review... maybe someone can help me out, because I can't think of the name, but I remember the premise was that the more people go to this website, the faster it kills this guy that is hooked up to these machines, or something... I don't know, that sounded really stupid too though! You should review it! :)
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10.21.2010 - 07:48 | Divide By ZeroUntraceable.
Lord that was a crap film.
For some reason I had it in the back of my brain that Phelous had already reviewed it, but maybe he just mentioned it in another review or something.
Possibly I just was thinking of Phelous while watching it? That's not weird, right?
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10.21.2010 - 19:12 | Divide By ZeroHee hee, apparently I upset the one and only fan of Untraceable.
Love it.
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10.20.2010 - 23:26 | dr_mayus
LordKat and Phelous in the same review? Is this some sort of sweet Xanadu...no wait it`s Stay Alive.
Great review as always, showing why you are the funniest reviewer on that TGWTG
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10.20.2010 - 23:27 | Mikon
I fucking love this movie. It is so absolutely terrible that it's amazing. In fact, when I started a movie review blog, it was the first one I reviewed. :D
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10.21.2010 - 00:51 | Taufiq91
YAY It's HERE! Brought to you by Alienware!
Seriously, looking at the development of this "game", they manage to outsuck the development hell out of Daikatana do they?
Also the shitty graphics of the game makes it look like a Japanese erotic game. Maybe they should give it to Japanese developers? Atleast we'd get a 3D Custom Girl to go with the "you'll die if you lose" concept.
And Frankie Muniz says "B, A" controls in a PS2 Controller. HOW DOES THAT WORK?!
And besides, here's a better video game-esque movie: A young video game tester decides to stay with his grandma while defeating Joel Moore and getting Linda Cardellini. It's called Grandma's Boy. And it was released in the same year as Stay Alive. If you're reading this, get that movie. It's better and more accurate about videogames than this piece of shit.
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10.20.2010 - 23:36 | TragicGuineaPig
All I gotta say, with this title, it better have John Travolta dancing to some Bee Gees.
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This movie was so bad, I found myself having a hard time staying alive watching it. Also, I'm digging the Eskimo Bob shirt you have there. I haven't watched those cartoons in forever.
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10.20.2010 - 23:56 | H2O
The "In 1997..." joke would be a nice new catchphrase for Phelous.
Also what does that fake blood taste like?
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10.21.2010 - 19:07 | TomQuoVadis
Considering the most common method I know of for making fake blood consists of corn syrup, chocolate syrup, honey, and red dye it could be quite tasty...that is, if you could stand all that sugar.
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10.20.2010 - 23:55 | badgersprite
It's Bunk Moreland! Oh, sorry. Distracting cameo.
That Silent Hill rant was awesome. Why are movies about video games and computers always written by people who have never used either? Seriously. I'm assuming all the actual video game references like the Konami code were thrown in by the actors on set.
...You know what's sad? This movie was upstaged in its use of Elizabeth Bathory by Hostel II. That's just sad. When a Hostel movie is doing something more right than yours. How does that level of failure even exist?
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10.20.2010 - 23:47 | DMasterFrankie Muniz? Aaah!! Eddie from Friends?! Aaaah!!! More complete ignorance on Hollywood's part of ANYTHING video game-related?!? AAAHHH!!!!
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10.20.2010 - 23:58 | Angelic Plague
"You're gonna die... a lot..."
You'd be hard pressed to find a better catch phrase!
So it looks like you'll be doing game related horror films for awhile? I dunno for certain, but you seem to have started reviewing several films of a certain theme at a time; Pulse, Anaconda/s, and now video game knockoffs?
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10.21.2010 - 08:13 | Divide By ZeroThe inclusion of Lord Kat's catchphrase was just perfect.
Love this review.
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10.21.2010 - 00:03 | DoomPL
WOW, Jason's cameo is this video may be the BEST CAMEO EVAR! It's very creepy at the end.
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10.21.2010 - 00:11 | casualruffian
The sound that the video game ghost makes when coming after the guy at the beginning is like if they put the Jaws theme on vibrate.
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10.21.2010 - 00:16 | TurboPup"You're gonna die... a lot." just became epic.
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10.21.2010 - 00:19 | pap64
Man, for a minute there I thought Phelous was going to review an Australian video game related movie in which one player designs the ultimate death game and invites his friends and some other people to play. I don't remember the name of it, but its best described as Saw meets Tron. That one sucked too :p .
Regarding this movie, though, I wonder how much the filmmakers got for putting Game Informer, Alien hardware and Nintendo systems in their movie.
Also, LordKat is up there with the best cameos so far. He was creepy, but Brad's cameo in Troll was was evil. I mean, the guy pulled a Jonah by convincing Phelous to kill himself rather than getting dirty himself!
Question, though. Where is the fish from Phelous's shirt from? I saw it before, but no idea where.
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10.22.2010 - 16:39 | electronsexparty
Fish in a Spaceship is from Eskimo Bob.
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10.21.2010 - 00:27 | rosenrot234
when i heard of this movie i simply called it the electronic nightmare on elm street and never gave it a second glance.
and that's exactly what it was. lol
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10.21.2010 - 00:31 | EarthboundXE
I actually remember when Frankie Muniz went on the Daily Show to promote this movie.
It's funny looking back at crappy movies, and remembering the stars saying how awesome the movies were.
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10.21.2010 - 00:33 | popemichael
This movie is shitty as hell. I have no clue how you can make it so entertaining :D
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10.21.2010 - 00:35 | KenricGreat video Phelous! Very funny and great cameo from Lordkat as well. Keep up the good work!
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10.21.2010 - 00:45 | Lo-taku
What if in Demon's Souls you die and you die in real life? Well, if that happens to you, it means that LordKat is 100% correct.
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The movie "Gamer" has more to do with video games than this crap. This attempt to reference actual games / concepts is sad.
An Alienware laptop. Jeeze Dell, did you think it was worth it? Why does the douch brother have like five computers on his desk?
Isn't Elizabeth Báthory associated with the vampire myth, and not anything even close to this?
This movie is complete VG jargon. I'd rather play Dragon's Lair, Battletoads, Deadly Towers, then watch all the Pulse movies than see this crap.
About the ending. All I got to say is, Phelous, The D&D Freakout!-
http:// thatguywiththeglasses.com /bt/aj/as/27724-aj- thedadfreakout
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10.21.2010 - 00:49 | Deimos1984rd
When killing demon women use alienware...for all your gaming and demon killing needs...seriously there were sooo many product plugs in this movie, Great vid Phelous and an awesome Cameo by LordKat as well.
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10.21.2010 - 01:07 | FullmetalNinja25
LordKat you evil evil man. D:
Great review Phelous! =D
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10.21.2010 - 01:07 | Mr.Evil
Well, no giant snakes this week. Yay. And yet no bees. Maybe we'll get there some day.
Thoughts:
- "You're going to die, a lot." It's too bad that LordKat already coined that phrase. Still, a brilliant crossover for this movie.
- Frankie Munoz: I loved him in "Malcolm in the Middle." Haven't seen much of him since that show ended. This movie was not a good sign for his career.
- My name is Mr. Evil, and I'm not a stupid jerk.
I like horror. I like video games. I like horror video games. And if they ever make a good one, I might even like movies about horror video games. But damn it, just because I like all of the above doesn't mean that my demographic skews to the "stupid jerk" character archtype. I cannot relate to these people. Evil jerks, maybe, but not stupid jerks.
Maybe someday we'll all get together and send off a petition to Lions Gate or some other production company telling them that we, the people, don't want to see movies about stupid jerks.
Yeah, I know. I see a flock of pigs in the distance. Lovely review, as always.
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10.21.2010 - 08:02 | QuestionTheMajority
I was thinking the same thing. I want to know at what point the theory was reached that anybody who was born in the 1980's and plays video games MUST be a pot head. The so-called "jokes" about the various gamers in this movie also being stoners were just plain stupid and obnoxious. I'd also say they were insulting, but that would be assuming the writers of this film had enough intelligence to properly insult me, which they do not.
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10.21.2010 - 01:09 | 007italianguyIts a shame cause hearing about this movie made it look like it had potential, only saw it once without taking a close look, but seeing this review made it clear. Another bad horror movie, but this one at least could have had potential.....
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10.21.2010 - 01:11 | Arkhan1Can't help but feel it would have worked better if they'd provided the characters with some actual reason to keep playing, instead of just "oh if you stop it kills you anyway".
Also how did that game get released? Isn't the point of a beta to notice the little bugs like murdering players? Actually they should probably have picked up on that in alpha when their play testing team was mysteriously murdered in 9 different ways simultaneously after a run through of the combat system.
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10.21.2010 - 01:15 | jebbusREBOOT lol
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10.21.2010 - 01:16 | Xavier78
Phelous, when you first started posting videos here I wasn't a fan, but I stuck around anyways. I'm glad I did. The more videos you make the better you get. I personally feel your the best reviewer on this site by far. Lordkat is probably a close second, though I watch his videos at his site, not here.
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It's like that Mazes and Monsters movie that Spoony reviewed. They just glean a couple bits of game related trivia and jargon and throw it in to sound like they know what they're talking about. It makes it so much funnier when I watch it and know they're a bunch of idiots.
Anyway, enough of my ranting. This movie sucked, but the review was a million times better. Hope you get better soon Phelous, or get cloned or something.