Anaconda Phelous is a frickin' terrifying image...
Anaconda
Written by phelous Wednesday, 22 September 2010 17:41
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Comments (164)
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Despite this film's silliness, I enjoy it as a guilty pleasure.
Time to do the sequels, Phelous.....
You will want to die after seeing them.
You forgot to mention that Frank Welker, the voice of Megatron, does the screaming voice of the Anaconda
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09.22.2010 - 21:53 | ToonNinja
You know, Chris Latta would've been great for the scream sound. Y'know, Cobra Commander? "ANACONDA! RETREEEEEEEEEAAAT!" :flame:
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09.23.2010 - 02:07 | Phelous
I did ACTUALLY forget that for real. I really had it in mind to mention the Welker bit and have the snake say a Megatron line. =(
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09.23.2010 - 16:41 | Cyborcat
It would take less time to list the voices Frank Welker DOESN'T do =P
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09.25.2010 - 04:59 | PhelousHaha very true.
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09.22.2010 - 18:40 | Jackass Mask
Nothing scarier than John Vioght's to hammy thighs coming right at you.
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09.22.2010 - 20:37 | Fanofyou
Snakes why'd it have to be snakes? :psychotic:
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09.22.2010 - 20:43 | Blinus
Anaconda. Seems I was right last week.
Last week I posted "You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?" referencing the Haunted Majora story.
Now I see Anaconda.
I'M PSYCHIC! D=
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09.22.2010 - 20:56 | mediamaster127
Finally!
After a long, long wait, somebody from this site reviews this movie!
Thank you, Phelous! T_T
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09.22.2010 - 21:03 | BlinusIce CubeS? :-P
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09.23.2010 - 02:08 | PhelousYup!
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09.22.2010 - 21:07 | Xandos
Hmmm...no, that's not quite how firefly flashes work. But it's cute that Stoltz's character thinks that.
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09.22.2010 - 21:08 | Frog
What's worse? Lightning bug pick-up lines in Anaconda, or Animal Cracker sex from Armageddon? :eyebrow:
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09.24.2010 - 02:37 | xXSkellingtonXxIce Cubes is worse than either of those.
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09.22.2010 - 21:21 | Taufiq91
I'll always remember ice Cube's infamous line:
"There's a SNAKE THAT WEIGHS THIS BIG?!"
Great cheesy movie. And i can't believe this wasn't a Corman/Sci-Fi production. Which kinda sucks
And Kari Wuhrer deserved her death after what she did to Sabrina Lloyd in Sliders.
And JLo said that destroying the dam would damage the ecosystem of the river. Wouldn't that be GOOD for the river? Because dams actually cause more damage to rivers than good! Especially in the Amazon where forests are being destroyed because of these stupid dams.
Also, another example of dams destroying thing would be North Korea built the "OH WE'RE SO POWERFUL!" dam in the Taedong River, and that was the main factor of the NK famine of 1994!
Was this movie funded by GE ? I'm not saying that all damns are bad, but come on. It's the amazon, not the Hudson.
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09.23.2010 - 02:11 | PhelousHe says "There's snakes out there this big?"
I wish he said weighs this big though, heh.
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Please tell me you'll do Anacondas 2: Search for the Blood Orchid.
Oh god, one of the worst movies ever.
It takes place in Asia.
And it's about Anacondas.
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09.23.2010 - 02:11 | PhelousYup it's next!
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09.22.2010 - 21:23 | Roler42
despite how much this movie sucks, i enjoyed it when i first watched it, its the kind of movie that is bad, and yet you get to like
awesome review, and... lEGS OF STEEL FTW!
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09.22.2010 - 21:27 | wretchuGood review, but are you just being derisive, or do you really think the name of the "actor" is Ice Cubes?
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09.22.2010 - 21:32 | pap64
Man, Phelous is a better Jon Voight than Jon Voight! XD
Loved the review, especially the videogame references. That winking scene was WEIRD. The science of it is bizarre as well. It didn't destroy him fully but yet he died anyway. :eyebrow:
Ah well, best not to think with this movie... :snicker:
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09.22.2010 - 21:37 | kwclass09great job as always phelous :snicker:
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09.22.2010 - 21:39 | animehater daveIt's Ice CUBE.
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09.22.2010 - 23:45 | PhelousS
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09.22.2010 - 21:39 | Goombasa
Ironically, I've never seen this entire movie. I recall seeing it on TV once... and what part should I see was LEGS OF STEEL!
...
I changed the channel as soon as that was over.
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09.22.2010 - 21:40 | TheDued92
For some reason I always thought there should be a giant killer Christopher Walken movie it just cam to mind. Thumbs up if you think so.
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Hehe, I was cracking up every time you said Ice Cube[b]S[/b]. Yet another great review Phelous!
Man, those CG effects were just painful to look at.
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09.22.2010 - 21:53 | Sputnix
there's a haunted house that bought the animatronic snake and have it triggered to launch at people as they walk bye
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09.22.2010 - 21:56 | FullmetalNinja25
I remember seeing this movie as a teen its as bad now as it was then. =(
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ICECUBEZ used Pickaxe.
It's super effective.
XD XD That was an epic review. Is it just me, or was the picture of Phelous as a snake scarier than the whole of the movie itself?
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09.22.2010 - 22:09 | exile31094The director of this movie acctualy did some pretty decent films in his country too bad he started sucking in his hollywood films
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09.22.2010 - 22:11 | Lotus Prince
Oh god, the end skit was freaking hysterical. Tossing that little branch freaking slayed me. :-D
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09.22.2010 - 22:11 | link77
So when are you gonna do "Snakes on a Plane"? That'd be an interesting review, and an even more interesting title card XD
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09.22.2010 - 22:24 | Torchic91
Whoa, Jon Voight, with a PONYTAIL. o_O
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09.22.2010 - 22:27 | Deimos1984rd
[color=green]Man that snake had some strong skin to survive the headshot...must of been a solid snake......... -_- ....sorry
Hilarious review as always, I cracked up at the snake bursting through the wall and hearing OH YEAH!!! [/color]
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09.22.2010 - 22:31 | cartoonguywalky
*Obligatory comment about Ice Cube's film career*
Man, Ice Cube used to be "ice cold" before he started doing family movies. Now he's just water.
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10.04.2010 - 18:34 | Yung Ago
:flame: i tried not to laugh at that.
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09.22.2010 - 22:39 | Order66
Everybody run away! Jon Voight is doing a bad Tony Montana impersonation!
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09.22.2010 - 22:48 | wonderBOY316
it's shit but you have to give it credit for keeping the black guy alive
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09.23.2010 - 09:27 | raith0818
Yeah, but LL Cool J did it better in Deep Blue Sea.
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