Anaconda

(281 votes, average 4.81 out of 5)

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Comments (164)
  • Cipher Mind  - GAH!!!
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    Anaconda Phelous is a frickin' terrifying image...
  • Opera Guy  - I like this one.
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    Despite this film's silliness, I enjoy it as a guilty pleasure.

    Time to do the sequels, Phelous.....

    You will want to die after seeing them.

    You forgot to mention that Frank Welker, the voice of Megatron, does the screaming voice of the Anaconda
  • ToonNinja
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    You know, Chris Latta would've been great for the scream sound. Y'know, Cobra Commander? "ANACONDA! RETREEEEEEEEEAAAT!" :flame:
  • Phelous
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    I did ACTUALLY forget that for real. I really had it in mind to mention the Welker bit and have the snake say a Megatron line. =(
  • Cyborcat
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    It would take less time to list the voices Frank Welker DOESN'T do =P
  • Phelous
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    Haha very true.
  • Jackass Mask
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    Nothing scarier than John Vioght's to hammy thighs coming right at you.
  • zenkidkailen  - First time first post
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    ...What was with the panther there. Anyway, keep up the good work, Phelous.
  • Fanofyou
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    Snakes why'd it have to be snakes? :psychotic:
  • Blinus
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    Anaconda. Seems I was right last week.

    Last week I posted "You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?" referencing the Haunted Majora story.

    Now I see Anaconda.

    I'M PSYCHIC! D=
  • mediamaster127
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    Finally!
    After a long, long wait, somebody from this site reviews this movie!
    Thank you, Phelous! T_T
  • pariah  - Isaac232 did it first!
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    He did a real good job of it, too!
  • Blinus
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    Ice CubeS? :-P
  • Phelous
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    Yup!
  • Xandos
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    Hmmm...no, that's not quite how firefly flashes work. But it's cute that Stoltz's character thinks that.
  • Frog
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    What's worse? Lightning bug pick-up lines in Anaconda, or Animal Cracker sex from Armageddon? :eyebrow:
  • xXSkellingtonXx
    Ice Cubes is worse than either of those.
  • Taufiq91
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    I'll always remember ice Cube's infamous line:

    "There's a SNAKE THAT WEIGHS THIS BIG?!"

    Great cheesy movie. And i can't believe this wasn't a Corman/Sci-Fi production. Which kinda sucks

    And Kari Wuhrer deserved her death after what she did to Sabrina Lloyd in Sliders.

    And JLo said that destroying the dam would damage the ecosystem of the river. Wouldn't that be GOOD for the river? Because dams actually cause more damage to rivers than good! Especially in the Amazon where forests are being destroyed because of these stupid dams.

    Also, another example of dams destroying thing would be North Korea built the "OH WE'RE SO POWERFUL!" dam in the Taedong River, and that was the main factor of the NK famine of 1994!

    Was this movie funded by GE ? I'm not saying that all damns are bad, but come on. It's the amazon, not the Hudson.
  • Phelous
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    He says "There's snakes out there this big?"
    I wish he said weighs this big though, heh.
  • e105zeta  - Blood Orchid?
    Please tell me you'll do Anacondas 2: Search for the Blood Orchid.

    Oh god, one of the worst movies ever.

    It takes place in Asia.

    And it's about Anacondas.
  • Phelous
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    Yup it's next!
  • Roler42
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    despite how much this movie sucks, i enjoyed it when i first watched it, its the kind of movie that is bad, and yet you get to like

    awesome review, and... lEGS OF STEEL FTW!
  • wretchu
    Good review, but are you just being derisive, or do you really think the name of the "actor" is Ice Cubes?
  • pap64
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    Man, Phelous is a better Jon Voight than Jon Voight! XD

    Loved the review, especially the videogame references. That winking scene was WEIRD. The science of it is bizarre as well. It didn't destroy him fully but yet he died anyway. :eyebrow:

    Ah well, best not to think with this movie... :snicker:
  • kwclass09
    great job as always phelous :snicker:
  • Goombasa
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    Ironically, I've never seen this entire movie. I recall seeing it on TV once... and what part should I see was LEGS OF STEEL!

    ...

    I changed the channel as soon as that was over.
  • TheDued92
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    For some reason I always thought there should be a giant killer Christopher Walken movie it just cam to mind. Thumbs up if you think so.
  • Bepbo  - It's plural, now?
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    Hehe, I was cracking up every time you said Ice Cube[b]S[/b]. Yet another great review Phelous!

    Man, those CG effects were just painful to look at.
  • Sputnix
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    there's a haunted house that bought the animatronic snake and have it triggered to launch at people as they walk bye
  • FullmetalNinja25
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    I remember seeing this movie as a teen its as bad now as it was then. =(
  • Virgil_theBadassPoet  - Wild ANACONDA appears!
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    ICECUBEZ used Pickaxe.
    It's super effective.

    XD XD That was an epic review. Is it just me, or was the picture of Phelous as a snake scarier than the whole of the movie itself?
  • exile31094
    The director of this movie acctualy did some pretty decent films in his country too bad he started sucking in his hollywood films
  • Lotus Prince
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    Oh god, the end skit was freaking hysterical. Tossing that little branch freaking slayed me. :-D
  • link77
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    So when are you gonna do "Snakes on a Plane"? That'd be an interesting review, and an even more interesting title card XD
  • Torchic91
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    Whoa, Jon Voight, with a PONYTAIL. o_O
  • Deimos1984rd
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    [color=green]Man that snake had some strong skin to survive the headshot...must of been a solid snake......... -_- ....sorry

    Hilarious review as always, I cracked up at the snake bursting through the wall and hearing OH YEAH!!! [/color]
  • cartoonguywalky
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    *Obligatory comment about Ice Cube's film career*
    Man, Ice Cube used to be "ice cold" before he started doing family movies. Now he's just water.
  • Yung Ago
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    :flame: i tried not to laugh at that.
  • Order66
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    Everybody run away! Jon Voight is doing a bad Tony Montana impersonation!
  • wonderBOY316
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    it's shit but you have to give it credit for keeping the black guy alive
  • raith0818
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    Yeah, but LL Cool J did it better in Deep Blue Sea.
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