oh Kekio you truly were....something

Hahaha yes! He SURE was!

i can make my own travel gore movie!

A bunch of Americans go to a [stereotypical exotic country] to party. They act like morons and piss off the locals. Later, shit happens and then they get tortured/raped/die.

The end.

The formula is revealed!!!!

Congratulations You have figured out the reason why these kinds of movies suck and these idiot film makers can't realize it.

My grandpa owns this one i was going to watch it the other day.... now i wont

Better than Hostel don't say much indeed.

Ehm... wasn't that the chick who plays 13 on House?

But great review as always.

Why, yes, yes it is.

Another great review, I enjoy your review of the characters as well, which is what a lot of people forget to do. If you don't have a strong character base, you won't have a strong movie.

Funny he should call them gringos. In my experience, Brazilians call any foreigner that, even if they're from a neighboring country, or, in fact, even if they're from a big city.

Also, this thing's idea of how organ supply and demand works is waaay removed from reality. It's even harder for an American to get a working kidney or liver than a Brazilian, since organs can legally be sold and traded throughout most of South America. Why would you go all slicey on people who have problems a lot like the one you seem to hate? Oh, right, so we can see some gore SFX. Whatever.

Yeah, [b]gringo[/b] is slang for [b]foreigner[/b]. It's not meant to be offensive (but can be used as a bad word, changing your voice tone).

And where exactly can you LEGALLY trade organs in South America? Not in Brazil.

So were you killed by a time paradox or a rapid acceleration of time? Oh well, good review.

Yes?

What is it about these movies giving the killers such inarticulate, ill-defined motives? In reality, the vague, semblance of a motive the villain in this movie had would cause him to write crappy poetry in high school and take up playing acoustic guitar in college. "We're the normal ones." indeed.

Great review.

[color=green]Scarier?? really movie? Oooooh kidney removals and crime bosses oooooh scary...The end was a loltastic mindfuck moment.[/color]

These girls aren't hot; theyre sickly thin.

I'm sick of Dark Knight jokes, but that was actually a perfect excuse to use one. You win the internet for today.

Man, horror movies are supposed to be unintentionally funny, not the cure for insomnia.

Oh is that that same actress who plays 13 in house? I forgot she was in this boring movie. Those underwater cave scenes were the worst, you honestly can't tell what is happening.

What's up with the waste of talented DPs? Clearly they seem to constantly nail the realistic and gritty look down is bombarded by writers who shouldn't be paid for this shit and directors who not only agree to go along with this crap but have a tendency of forgetting that gore does not equal horror.

Seriously, no wonder mainstream horror has been the ultimate laughing stock of the movie industry...and no, those consumers who have made this bad direction such a hit DO. NOT. COUNT.

Gross out horror isn't scary.

wtf happened at the end

Great review!
The only fear element from the movie is when you added the Sonic drowning music. Because HO-LY crap I jumped at that. I swear that music just unleashes a lot of "holy s$(*&$ get out! GET OUT! GET OUT!" emotion.

I'm not crazy...I'll post a cracked.com article to further my point!
http://www.cracked.com/ article_16247_the-10- most-terrifying-video- game-enemies-all- time_p2.html

Still, looking forward to what you are doing next ;)

Phelous got olded to death? Time loop must have backfired

Alright, about the insulting scene, here are some BETTER translations (I'm brazilian):

-"You don't have to be like him!"
-"Have you never wanted to point your gun at HIM?" (yeah, she [i]mindgames[/i] the guy)

-"Do what I say, dammit! I own you!"
-"Do what I say, dammit! I'm your boss, I AM your boss!"

-"You fucking coward."
-"You stupid monkey." (ouch)

Yes when I think about horror movies I think about hot chicks in their swimsuits and gore, no emotional attachment to the characters, no logical actions taken by them, just hot chicks and gore. That's a good way to ruin a boner.

Oh and seriously Olivia Wilde is in this movie. Well it was before she started in House, she probably wouldn't do badly written movies again. Oh wait she did Year One.

Olivia Wilde was in Year One???
*run to watch the movie*

There is so many bad horror movies that don't have horror in them. Would it be too much to ask horror movie that would actually be scary?

This one was fine, but I'd love to see more bad entertaining or at least funny horror movies reviewed on this show, cause latley all Phelous watches are boring movies which he seems really bored to see so....

I also thought this movie was uter garbage, and yet another one of the movies they keep cranking out as horror, that are just torture porn. However these movies Touristas Hostel ect are playing on a fear, in time honored horror fashion of such things. Touristas isn't our fear of being brutal murdered nor is hostel about serial killer brothels. It's the fear of the " outside world " as it were our countries wonderful isolationism. Much like there were several movies that played on the fear of country folk in the eighties. People from these areas had no fear of such things as we (yes I say we, horror cowboy is my name for a reason.)because we all knew that these people the movies portrayed and they were less likely to murder us with a chainsaw, as they were more likely to blow themselves up with fireworks. I'm not arguing that touristas or hostel or good movies, mainly cause thier really boring, The second hostel was better than the first simply cause it just cut out any real character development at all. I've gotten wholely of point here. If your not scared by these movies, it's likely cause your not scared of the outside america world. Just like Chucky never scared you if you were nto terrified of dolls, And Jason wasn't scary if you were not horrified of canadians. Thats my two sense cause you never touched on why these movies are supposed to be scary, so I felt I should include it cause everyone also seems to not get it, not that the movie helped in anyway to explain it. Cause it's aweful. That scene with the chick falling off the cliff was really cool with cartoon like sound effects, by the way.

in UK was called Paradise Lost & managed to get a theatric release and by fluke i wound goin to the cinema to see it... i felt so used, as it didnt deserve a cinematic release....seriously if anyone has any doubt in Phelous, DON'T it's worse.

I don't want to insult anyone, but I think if you like these kind of movies then you are intellectually disordered.

Thank you for your reviews Phelous, they make my day :D

Why does no one notice all the tourists going missing in these movies?

Because they're always set in foreign locations so the basic assumption is that the local police are too backward to notice, or too corrupt, or in on it. In short, they rely on the 'fear the foreigner' principle to explain away plot holes like that.

Time travel, it's a bitch, ain't it Phelous?

Hey you guys, fun fact: can you believe the government here in Brazil actually wanted to prohibit this shitty movie from showing, believing it would RUIN tourism and therefore bankrupt the country?! Yes, we`re THAT stupid over here.
Oh, and you probably already figured it out (even if you don`t speak portuguese), but in case you didn`t, the brazilian "actors" they got are really AWFUL. Well, the shitty brazilian cast DOES match the shitty american one, so I guess at least the producers were trying to be consistant...

Another great review, Phelous! Big fan here in Brazil!

Didn't Brazil also complain about the Simpsons saying the country was over run by vicious monkeys? Then the Simpsons responded in a later episode by saying the problem had gotten worse?

Stupid uppity country. ;)

Brazil, like pretty much every other country, is full of assholes.

All I can say is that I loved that episode of Simpsons, and yeah, our money sure is gay xD

Some quotes from Wikipedia:
[quote]The Rio de Janeiro Tourist Board claimed that the city was portrayed as having rampant street crime, kidnappings, slums and a rat infestation.[/quote]
That's not true at all, we don't have [b]rat infestations[/b]!

[quote] A spokesman for the Board added that "what really hurt was the idea of the monkeys - the image that Rio de Janeiro was a jungle."[/quote]
Also not true, we are making sure that forest is properly destroyed, no way MONKEYS could live there! (joking, joking)

the end of the review made me lol, even when I just skipped to the end, the well place orchestral sting made me jump a little XP.

WTF? What was with Phelous turning into an old guy at the end???

Yes, I believe it was. Probably making fun of all the loooooong waits inbetween things happening in the movie.