Hostel 2
Written by Phelous Wednesday, 28 April 2010 23:31
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04.29.2010 - 00:06 | rabbitinred
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04.29.2010 - 00:27 | ilikeshinythings274Oh Phelous, I blame you for my severe procrastination.
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04.29.2010 - 00:29 | the_sparkle
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04.29.2010 - 00:33 | ElderVIII
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07.19.2010 - 16:10 | nobigami92oh it's possible: watch rob zombie's halloween...
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04.29.2010 - 00:59 | Jael
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04.29.2010 - 01:13 | Kimarous
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04.29.2010 - 01:18 | Deimos1984rd
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04.29.2010 - 01:19 | Apathetic One[b]This movie was honestly, pretty poor. The first one, while almost equally poor, at least had some shock value. This movie was WAY predictable (except the Bobbitesque scene) and over all, boring.[/b]
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04.29.2010 - 05:42 | WerminWell this kind of overly gorey movies are not new.
Like in most of the cases Japan alredy did it.
Watch Guinea Pig movies for example. They are better than this pile of shit :)
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04.29.2010 - 08:53 | Pathetic One[b][/b]I love bold letters. They look really important and make me feel like my opinions actually matter.
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05.06.2010 - 03:35 | UltimateOneYa know, Pathetic One....
I have been meaning to tell you this for a while. This is the one and only time I need to tell you this, but it's something you need to hear. Mainly so that you'll stop wasting space on these videos with your awful little love-tryst rivalry:
You are a whiny, annoying faggot.
This is true.
I mean, come on. So, the whole reasons for your existence, if i've got this straight, is that you are following Apathetic One around like a creepy little stalker, just so you can endlessly make it your mission in life to berate every post he makes, simply due to you not having any semblance of a life, yourself. Right?
Ok. Where to begin. I cannot express how utterly faggoty it is for you to not just reply to ONE post of his, but to base your NAME on his and to OBSESSIVELY follow EVERY post he makes for the sole purpose of getting on his balls, as if anyone but you, is supposed to give a shit.
But compound this with the sheer fact that you contribute NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING useful whatsoever. Certainly not one fucking thing more useful than Apathetic One. And yet you still give the distinct impression that you think you're better than him?
Wow. Just wow. You are not only the undisputed winner of the creepy self-important, irrelevant little shit-of-the-year award, but you cap it off by just being so smug about having so little of a life that you NEED to follow someone else and troll their every post, especially when it doesn't even specifically call for it, out of some utterly misplaced and frankly psychopathic need to obsess over one person.
Just admit it. You're so gay for Apathetic One by following him around like this. Just admit that you want his sweet, sweet, manchowder on your lips and that's why you follow him around on every post he makes, so we can all get the fuck on with our day.
I mean sweet merficful crap. Get it over with. Go have your buttsex in a private message and get it out of your systems, and stop being so fucking public about it in front of everyone. God damn.
And shit... you're just fine with this? Looking like a creepy stalker fag towards Apathetic One, and freely giving everyone this impression of yourself under the delusion that you're somehow doing god's work on this site or something?
Oh fuck right off. LOL.
Me, on the other hand. I created my username totally independently not knowing, or giving a shit who either of you were. Until I started seeing your combined faggotry splashed all over these video comment pages.
Which is what strikes me as funny then, seeing as though it may be coincidence, but perhaps by fate that I named myself "UltimateOne", a name which goes back with me for at least 4 years prior.
Because it's interesting how I am obviously so much better than the both of you. I suppose we ALL deserve our...
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06.24.2010 - 15:46 | Devilfish
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04.29.2010 - 01:20 | Rainy29
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04.29.2010 - 01:32 | charlotte
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04.29.2010 - 01:37 | MichaelDj54It's a very simple formula for an Eli Roth movie...
Jackass characters.
Over gratuitous violence (Which should NOT take over the god damn plot, BTW!)
Somewhat revenge.
Sequel hook.
Water, rinse, repeat.
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04.29.2010 - 02:08 | LikaLaruku
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10.09.2010 - 19:52 | Crono ManiacSweet JESUS FEAR OnDemand. I watched exactly ONE (1) movie on that, "The Mangler 2.0." Never again.
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04.29.2010 - 02:09 | AwayToHit
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Awesome review Phelous and the guy playing Eli Roth was really funny but I think it would've been even more hilarious if you could have made a paper mask out of Roth's face and make the dude were it to be more "authentic" like the way the "director" "faithfully" portrays Europe. Also he's planning an Hostel 3. I wonder how that movie's plot will be 3 unlikable transsexuals/dickgirls that like to party and screw and maybe this time they destroy the whole group or they think they did. Crap hope Roth is not reading this board or I just gave him an idea.
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[quote=charlotte]Yep, that was Victor Krum being eaten :'( You were a tri-wizard champion! Have some self respect man.
I can't believe I saw this movie in the cinema, I actually paid good money for this[/quote]
I think this should serve as fair warning for anyone not to put their name into the Goblet of Fire in the future. Look at what happened to the four last contestants: Viktor joined a torture gang in Eastern Europe. Cedric became a sparkly vampire under the alias of Edward Cullen. Harry suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. And Fleur worked as a drug dealer in Belguim (ever seen In Bruges?)
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06.24.2010 - 15:47 | Devilfish
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04.29.2010 - 03:30 | Obscurus Lupa
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04.29.2010 - 03:31 | Poipoi
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04.29.2010 - 03:35 | rudy023
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04.29.2010 - 03:39 | CasioArgento
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04.29.2010 - 04:23 | dennett316
Another abortion.....what a terrible writer/director Roth became/always was. I gave him the benefit of the doubt with Cabin Fever, but these films are poor.
Cutting a dick off?? Been done and more shockingly in I Spit on Your Grave. Considering it's reputation for being so gory and shocking, really I've seen worse in horror movies since I was 8 years old, and I'm 31 now.
It may have been shocking if there was a character worth a damn in either of these films, but the closest thing was "I'm on a boat!!" girl, and I STILL didn't care.
Se7en had the torture porn thing done right years before this, by showing the terrible aftermath of what John Doe did and having decent acting and characters you could actually root for.
This stuff is stupid, poorly written, completely pointless, not horrible or scary in the slightest because the "characters" may as well be empty bags of viscera and a complete waste of time AND money.
Though I did sort of enjoy the group of kids playing football (soccer for you Yanks ;) ) with the severed head at the end. One redeeming scene in 3 hours of movies......well done Eli, top notch.
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04.29.2010 - 04:12 | chrisbg99
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04.29.2010 - 05:33 | Cyborcat
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04.29.2010 - 04:13 | Shinigami
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04.29.2010 - 05:11 | gooser562
Phelous, I love you and your reviews to death, but it seems like you're personally biased towards people that drink and party. I mean, when groups of American friends and college students go travel Europe that's what they do. They seek drugs, sex, and fun times! Believe me, I know firsthand! It's not unrealistic at all! lol
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04.29.2010 - 11:19 | Phelous
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04.29.2010 - 14:05 | NEUTRO!
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05.06.2010 - 03:50 | UltimateOneYes. I can't imagine why ANYONE would be biased against drug hopping, sex-crazed pervert ignorant little fucking douchebag teenage wastes of society with no future, pumping death into themselves just for a cheap chemical thrill intent on destroying the lives of everyone connected to them especially family-wise, but not limited to everyone the little losers come into context with like a bunch of arrogant, little shithead dopeheads, crackheads, stoner fuckfaces.
Because those asshole wastes of life are so loved and have such an important place in society.
Yes, we should totally be tolerant of all the poster children of human driftwood stinking up the planet. Kids with no future, no place in society other than being the shitstain little mother fuckers who were born to be nothing better than target practice.
You know what I do to people like that? I beat the asshole druggies half to death with cleated shitkickers on their stink ridden curbs and rat-filled alleyways out by the backs of their faggy tencho nightclub rave shitholes. That's what I do.
In short, the stereotypes that star in Eli Roth films, and the kinds of fuckers you describe who exist in real life are human driftwood that need to be cleared out by those with the balls to fix this nation in the very heart of it's scumbag society pits.
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06.24.2010 - 15:57 | Devilfish
Having been a waitress in Europe for some time I've come into contact with these dumb frat tourist types. I speak for all waitresses here when I say we do not like you. We do not like the fact that because it's Europe, you think we don't like being tipped. We are not on vacation. We don't like being chatted up after work hours. We don't like being chatted up [i]during[/i] work hours. We are not flattered by your patronizing insistence that our accent is "cute" even though you are the foreigner. We do not want to party with you. We are not awed by your powers of being American. It is not working out for you. Please go party in an American cabin in the American woods somewhere. That'll work out great for you.
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04.29.2010 - 05:50 | theGrr
I have to agree that Hostel 2 was better than Hostel 1. Not much better and both are terrible.
What really set the bar for the movie, and I'm surprised you didn't comment on considering you showed the shot was the girlfriend's reaction to walking in on her decapitated boyfriend. I think when they originally shot the scene, they told the actress that she was actually walking in on her sick, elderly grandmother having passed peacefully in her sleep and then they just inserted the headless corpse in editing.
Honestly! Why would you downplay her reaction?! Screaming, panicking women is sort of a horror movie staple. What would you do decide to no-sell that? They should've just showed her walking straight passed the corpse and over to the coffee machine for her morning cup of joe.
I do think that the characters were more sympathetic this time around particularly the nerdy girl. But she was also so obviously placed in the movie purely to be pitiful and the scene is so ridiculous that we are very aware that we're watching a movie at that moment.
The worst part of the movie though is the ending. Is there anybody who didn't know that the two would-be murderers were going to completely reverse roles? It's funny because it is both completely unbelievable and yet totally predictable. And it might have been an interesting plot twist if the characters had been a little more nuanced to begin with and their role reversal had been a little less total.
I also couldn't understand why the criminals were so insistent that the guy finish off the girl... I mean, I guess in most cases it would be to make sure the clients are as deep into it as they are, but he just put an electric saw through her head. He's certainly not going to go turn them all in. And if he walked out of there so agitated, would they have really been any more at ease if he HAD walked back in there and simply put her out of her misery? (which would've been the HUMANE thing to do at that point given what he did to her)
Which ultimately brings us to the real problem with the movie's entire premise. This conspiracy is vast and so dependent on everyone keeping their mouths shut, that it seems totally implausible. And it shouldn't! Sex trafficking is a huge problem around the world, and if you can find people willing to sell women and children into sexual slavery, and people willing to pay for it, it shouldn't be that much of a stretch to think that somebody could and would set up a business that'd allow people to fulfill their murder fantasies for the right price. The most terrifying thing about this movie might have been that audience members would walk away thinking that it could very well be themselves strapped to a chair in a dark room someday. Some people probably did, but I think most people just wrote it off as the bullshit it actually is.
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04.29.2010 - 06:28 | ShadeFawks
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04.29.2010 - 06:35 | Emery89Eli Roth is a new Ed Wood. He thinks a movie can be good as long as it has sex and gore. That's how pathetic he is.
Also, I think that woman was trying to act like Countess of Bathory
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04.29.2010 - 07:32 | Fluffyman
It seems Roth deliberately makes every character unlikable because they are all potential murder victims and want people to remember their gory demises better than them as characters. At least except for the assholes that survive... it would make more sense if everyone died which would actually be merciful.
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04.29.2010 - 08:33 | Cyborcat
That's one of the things that bothers me about his movies. A lot of people will say "Hey, we want to see gore, who cares about the character development? This is a horror movie, not Gone With the Wind!"
Well, the thing is, it's much more disturbing if we actually CARE about the characters--it's like seeing someone you know being killed rather than a complete stranger.
I think what it comes down to is that Roth has a mean, vindictive streak and thinks his characters are getting what they deserve, more or less, like there's a lesson to be learned here. Frankly, his attitude (or how I percieve it, at least) disturbs me more than his movies.
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04.29.2010 - 12:19 | Richard WeskerYeah, agreed, there is fair bit of disconnect when characters we can't really relate to or who are dumb beyond belief get killed. Granted, someone is still dying onscreen, but caring about said character adds a layer of drama to it that didn't exist before. The only one I kind of cared about in this movie was the girl who was killed by Mrs. Bathory, but just barely.
I think that Roth does have a good movie in him (yes, one), but the stuff he's produced so far has been subpar and badly written, full of pointless scenes, lapses in logic, and trite characters that you don't give a crap about.
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04.29.2010 - 12:27 | Cyborcat
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04.29.2010 - 18:24 | Phelous
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06.24.2010 - 16:00 | Devilfish
I really think this is what Eli Roth thinks teenagers (or young adults) are like. And since these are his target audience, this is how he gets them to relate. You know, like he thought Eastern Europe was really like that, and mentally disabled people are weird so they scream 'pancakes' and do kung fu kicks. I really do think that's just how his mind works.
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04.29.2010 - 08:00 | capthavic
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04.29.2010 - 08:11 | VossThanks for watching the Hostel movies for me, now I don't have to. :cheer:
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04.29.2010 - 08:17 | JoshuatheAnarchist
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04.29.2010 - 08:39 | BananaJane
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04.29.2010 - 08:38 | BananaJane