I knew you'd review Hostel. Funny review by the way.

You're right. Eli Roth is an artist. Truly Hostel is a critique on American social mores and youth culture by intentionally portraying Americans in their 20s as ignorant and directionless pawns in a society created by an oversexed culture and...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA!!!

You gotta be kidding right?

Great review Phelous! I can't believe Eli Roth is even allowed to make dreck like this.

look i am 23 years old, i seen hundreds and hundreds of 20 year olds and they dont say fuck and gay in every sentence and i saw this movie thinking it be good but it was horrible so that "oh you hate it because eli did cabin fever" thing is false

A 20-something year old guy who parties and has a social life does not a douche bag make.

The people who behave like what your describing, saying fuck and gay in every single sentence is NOT the American 20-Year-Old. Your describing the 16-year-old I'm-trying-to-sound-cool- cause-cool-people-say- this-stuff type of person that is very hard to find.

Whether you think that Roth captured the average 20-something or not (I don't), it doesn't change the fact that it is very difficult to identify with completely unlikable characters. It's not a misjudgment, it's an opinion.

I dislike Hostel for many of the same reasons Phelous laid out here. The characters are unlikable, the plot is weak, and the violence is almost cartoonish at times (which is fine if you're doing something over the top like Machine Girl, but when you're trying to be legitimately disturbing it's just silly). I don't see that Phelous hated this movie because it was a Roth film (although it does lend itself to quite a few jokes), I think he hated it because it was a lousy movie with disengaging characters.

uh...are you American? Way to be a generalizing prick.

You know, that's really offensive. As an American, and as a 22 year old man, I find that to be an amazingly closed-minded paragraph. I hate the word "gay" as a derogatory term, "fuck" is hardly the only word out of my mouth, I don't party, and I hardly drink at all. Your comment is unnervingly similar to the stereotypes regarding French people, which are also not true. I'm sorry if experiences with my country have left a negative impression with you, but it's really not fair to lump us all together.
Besides, this is theoretically supposed to be a horror film. From a horror standpoint, it is a cinematically bad idea to make the main characters unlikable. Otherwise, what happens to them isn't horrific.

Generic arrogant 20 year-old guys who do things generic 20-year-old guys do? Wow! What inspired characters!

How does this change the fact that they're unlikable jackasses? Movies should not have unlikable jackasses as the protagonists, doesn't matter how well they represent their demographic. Which I contend is incredibly poorly anyway.

That's the small minority of 20 year olds, not just American. Do you honestly think that Roth, an American male in his late 30s, was going for some symbolism here by showing the stereotype that's mostly found in "the Real World" reruns? If you had actually paid attention to the movie, you would know that this is never addressed nor amounts to any type of significance. If not symbolism, what possible reason did Roth have? It would've been at least been a bit scarier if these guys were more likable, so why make them so stereotypically annoying? So, if you think all 20 year old American guys are all sex-hungry, alcohol-crazy, profane, and annoying, then you really need to see how they act in real life, not "The Real World".

I love this review, just as I do all of the others. I actually think the concept of this movie is pretty good... what a shame that it had to be wasted. Also, the last bit was really funny. Can't wait to see the second part...

I had a co-worker describe to me, in great detail, about that whole eyeball scene. It's almost like the "hero" was thinking, "Ok, I'm going to rescue you, but I'm going to make sure you never recover from this."

Love the insane laughter as you happen upon this movie's thrown together plot convenience of having every single bad guy come across the main character's path giving him perfect revenge opportunities.

Phelous Vs Eli Roth, AWESOME!

AWESOME PHAILOUS YOUR REVIEW OF THIS PILE OF SHIT IS FREAKING AWESOME
seriously its haunted me ever since I watched it

What's Angry Joe doing in a Eli Roth movie? And where's his mustache?

Considering you did Cabin Fever I had a feeling you'd do this too, great review Phelous.

Hostel gets a bum wrap it's a million times better than Cabin Fever or Hostel 2. Also I don't think the characters in this movie where all that bad and sadly kinda realistic to some morons i've known.

A million times zero is still zero. There was nothing good about Cabin Fever, and there's nothing good about Hostel. Just because you know people that stupid irl doesn't make them good movie characters.

You took the words right out of my mouth.

Oooh faced. Eli Roth needs to grow up, he's like a 14 year old, just filling his movies with blood and titties.

Considering this is a to be continued, I can only assume you're going to do Hostel 2...

Oh... and your insane laughter at Convenience Street made me laugh madly too, I think I woke up my family.

Awesome review, Phelous. It's always fun to watch you bash on Eli Roth.

Oh, and I can't wait to see your review for Hostel Part 2. I actually thought Hostel was ok until about one-third into the movie, but Part 2? All I can say is, have fun. :lol:

YOUR GONNA REVIEW HOSTEL 2! RUN! RUN WHEN YOU STILL CAN! IT'S TO FUCKING HORRIBLE! RUN RUN!

I was in school when this came out, and everyone went around going on about how amazing it was, so my uncle and I went to see it. Pisses me off when I see a shitty movie, pisses me off more when I see in the theaters. Roth should really just... Stop. Is it safe to assume that the continuation will the Hostel 2?

I think Quentin Tarantino is a bad judge of character towards Roth, the guy isn't a good filmmaker or an actor yet QT supports him for all his insanity.

At least "Hostel 2" flopped so there isn't a chance for a third film.

They are doing a hostel 3...its gonna be a direct to dvd release sometime at the end of the year

Oh god. A DTD release of an already crappy franchise? So it's going to be low budget, too? *facepalm*

Well to be fair, Tarantino is just as bad as Roth. But Tarantino calls it "post-modern" so he gets a free pace.

The difference between these two is great. Tarantino may amount to the same levels of violence, but at least QT has interesting dialogue which keeps me watching his movies. Roth, on the other hand, just shows degrading violence and sex in all his films. Not to say Uwe Boll doesnt do it worse though.

Eli Roth: crappy filmmaker and pretentious douchebag. Thanks for tearing up another one of his movies, Phelous.

Wow. This review has some of the best of Phelous' rage moments I have ever seen. Can't wait for your review of Part 2 of Hostel's sequel. And to think I got a copy of the workprint, its bad enough as it stands.

I salute you for reviewing Hostel...that itself is torture.

Awesome, let's hope you do Hostel 2 next. I haven't even seen Hostel 2, but let me guess... the "main character" in Hostel 1 becomes a killer in Hostel 2.

Nope, he's tracked down and killed in the first scene. That was a spoiler, but who cares it's only fucking Hostel 2. Will Phelous show the dick removal??? :X
Hope not, the movie is nauseating enough in quality terms never mind seeing that again.

sad thing is that stuff like that really happens
the hostels running a business that kidnaps borders and people pay to kill the borders part
:X
i think its in Taiwan well it happens in that area

How many copies of Super Mario Bros. do you have?

aww, man. Those scenes from hostel were disgusting. :X

Video doesn't want to seem to load anymore... I think it might be broken :(

Hostel 2 does suck.

But the first one...I have to admit, I'm one of the few sick fucks that actually enjoyed this movie. More as an Action/horror/ exploitation film than pure horror.

The Gore itself is not scary, but disgusting...and Disgust is not the same as fear, this is a mistake that film makers continue to make, to think that we, the audience are afraid of blood. You have to connect us to the characters first to make us fear for their safety. And then AND only then can you scare us with violence. e.g. Exorcist, Alien, Aliens, Nightmare on Elm street, Blair Witch, and (maybe) Paranormal Activity.

Still a good review.

Hostel 2 has it's merrits if you simply enjoy watching women beat the shit out of men.

I lol'd.

It seems your positive contributes to liking this movie gets counter-acted to the reason it sucks. Violence is not one of which will stir emotion, it's just tortue and death of characters that are shown to be unlikable or are barely introduced well enough to care for. There are horror movies that are scary, have a good plot, and writing isn't shown to be written by amateurs. What we are getting now in our horror movie genre are people who think exactly like you and will think as long as people die, it's a good horror movie.

You have to understand that films are not just something we view for fun but, but it's also an art. If your art has to do with fun, shallow, torture-porn, gorefest infested movie, well I hope you enjoy your future upcomings of horror movies that await at the bargin bin.

...Good point.

But while It may be shallow and exploitive, It does not mean I didint care about the guys in the movie. The dudes in this movie had a bond that was covered well, when the first guy went missing they came across as being genuinely concerned about him.

And it really hurt to watch when the one innocent non-sex obsessed guy was cut up. That shows that you CAN have decent character development before you start to slice and dice, I'm not opposed to movie violence, But you have to show that the people in the movie are humans we can relate to, and can really get behind them when they make their escape from this hellhole.

(p.s. Not sure if any of those comments are aimed at me, or I'm too stupid to realise it, but I'm not an anime obsessed loner, and Tarantino is my movie god...He can do no wrong in my eyes)

The obvious troll is obvious.

You do realize, gooser, that you ARE the first troll here, right?

Or did you not realize the fact that you can't seem to do anything but swear endlessly, can't spell, can't type, can't separate a paragraph, can't display a coherent thought of self-defense, and that you only seem to get more butthurt, more incoherent, and more childishly enraged at everyone else with other points of views besides yours.

While you do nothing but insult other people simply because you don't agree with them.

It amazes me how all of the faggot troll-fanboys like you start acting so self-righteous and butt-hurt and offended by other people's opinions on movies, and that you completely gloss over your own obvious idiocty and personal jabs and insults to the point of accusing everyone else of what you started out as in the first place.

As if that gives you every moral and logical right to start replaying to everyone with "WHAAAA!! WHAAAA!! WHAAA" like a stupid little baby.

News flash, genius. You are the troll. Yes. It was you, all along. What a tweeeest, right?

In case you're too broke to buy one, I'll give you a clue:

That's why your horrible, idiotic, fucking piece of shit posts are nearly incomprehensible to read and are getting downvoted to the point where you're greyed out. Because the troll is you.

Honestly, it wouldn't be so bad if you stupid little troll shits could just fucking admit that's what you are.

After all, I'm trolling you. For all the right reasons, and shoving your idiocy back down your stupid little throat. Fighting fire, with fire towards the troll in self-denial.

But i'm a troll with a good point, who can spell, read, write, and type. Oh my goodness. See? It's not that hard. At least i'm smart enough, intelligent enough, and right enough to be able to say "Hey. I'm a troll, as well. You don't see me trying to defend myself, though."

Time to face facts, little child who can't spell or type correctly. You're a troll. The troll is you. When your shitty post is only one in the conversation that is grayed out due to being a complete faggot, that means you're a troll.

But see.. that means there's an inherent difference between me and you. I win at trolling. Because I admit it. You cannot admit that you are the first troll in this particular thread. That means you failed at it. And got owned by me.

It also clearly means I am better than you.

Good day to you, gooser. You have failed. Please pick up your last check, care of Gokillyourself First National Bank.

im fine with everything you said but the word faggot.
dont use it please.

Yeah... my problem is that it isn't fun. It's just boring, and the death scenes and torture are uninventive and idiotic. God forbid you have a plot in a movie like this. Or characterisation. OR ANYTHING FUCKING INTERESTING! You sure you don't wanna watch something that shows serial killers doing their rounds and actually having a plot and some involvement? The gore is... let's just say vapid, pathetically motivated (wow, cause the idea of your average rich, bored sadistic psychopath has never been done before a thousand times!).

Trust me, from someone who has been around death a lot, and has actually [i]witnessed[/i] people dying in real life, the pathetic shock-gore and slasher films don't house anything entertaining or fun. If it's this fucking shallow I will probably fall asleep half-way through. But hey, to each his own, and if you find these sort of films entertaining to watch, more power to you.

However, actually liking anime (although being a girl), and actually NOT liking the majority of Tarantino movies (pulp fiction and kill bill 1 were the only good ones for a looong time (although inglorious bastards was okay)), I'm gonna just say this: don't assume that just because people don't like this shallow shit that they're just squeamish or wimpy, because I spent two hours of every week down in a morgue for over a year, and I have written stories with more blood and guts than this. The people who don't like this kinda crap are usually the ones who aren't just entertained by loud noises and explosive red paint. There's nothing else to this movie. It is boring, and if you're entertained by pretty images on the screen, then I'll leave you to the rest of your teenage years in peace.

Gooser562, I get why you defend this movie so steadfast. You are a living embodiment of the stereotype this movie portrays which is lowest and most loathsome aspects of the american male. You truly are a product of vapid 90s MTV commercialism the Saw franchise which confuses repulsive with horror. Gore does not equal horror. Hateful stereotypes dieing does not equal horror. For example, if someone would walk up and shoot you in the face with a shotgun, which I hope someone does, and since you're an unlikeable douche, no one would care and no one would be horrified.

Also, just because you're a giant douchebag, doesn't mean everyone else in your demographic is. I would hate to be in the same room with you and your friends if the characters of hostel are a perfect capture of the 20something male in your eyes.

I agree with you 100% on gore. It's not the same as genuine adrenaline-pumping fear and suspense. And this is coming from someone who actually has a PHOBIA of blood! While I cringe away from grotesque violence in movies, it's still an act of revulsion and not genuine terror.

Now the original Night of the Living Dead? Now that's a movie that actually shows very little gore, but it's terrifying nonetheless because you know what the zombies will do to their victims without having to see it. The terror comes from the concern over the heroes' wellbeing as opposed to being grossed-out.

Same here, video won't work...

Phelous has become one of my favorite reviewers and I can't watch this video. :(

wtf i refreshed like 15 times the page and the video still won't load (well the replay screen appear)

[quote=AwayToHit]wtf i refreshed like 15 times the page and the video still won't load (well the replay screen appear)[/quote]

lol quoting myself...anyways the video works now B)

I hope that "Ooh, FACED" becomes a new meme.

I'm working on it, my friend.

And don't forget when Hostel 2 bombed Eli Roth blame internet piracy for the film failure cause everyone rushed to the internets when they heard Hostel 2 was made...lol

I wonder what Dena's thoughts on this film are?

Anyway, good review Phelous.

But seriously, that guy looks like Angry Joe.

I actually avoid torture porn like the plague, so I've intentionally never seen any of the Hostel or Saw movies. I don't mind gore, obviously, but I have a serious aversion to depictions of torture.

I will watch this video because I'm a fan of Phelous, but I'll admit that I'm procrastinating because I really don't want to see ANY of Hostel =P

(and yes, I'm reading the comments anyway, mainly because I'm looking for "OMG, why did you leave that in?" which is something I wish I had done when he reviewed The Ruins =P)

[quote=Cyborcat]I actually avoid torture porn like the plague, so I've intentionally never seen any of the Hostel or Saw movies. I don't mind gore, obviously, but I have a serious aversion to depictions of torture.[/quote]

Sooooo, you're saying that you wouldn't like to see any of my home movies?

Exactly, you sick fuck.

Aw man, before I noticed you responded, I was going to say that your response to this movie would've been "GUILTY!"

Time to play!

Torture porn is not scary. Or entertaining.

But with Phelous attached, suddenly it's watchable.

Torturesploitation.