Billy Owens and the Secret of the Runes
Written by Obscurus Lupa Sunday, 11 November 2012 16:49
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Comments (49)
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11.11.2012 - 19:34 | rockybalboa211
Puma Man, he flys like a moron!
Puma man, will he find love?!
Puma man, the children don't love him!
(Made up lyrics to the Puma Man Flying Theme)
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11.12.2012 - 00:27 | lithiumgreenYou, sir, are one awesome dude. I salute you.
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For those who havent seen the MST3k Pumaman, rush out to see it. it is one of the best. Thank you for pulling this reference outta nowhere. Loved this episode!
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11.11.2012 - 21:11 | SpeedyEricI remember Spoony talking about Pumaman in the start of his review of "Captain America II: Death Too Soon." He has nothing to do with being a Puma, he dresses in a discount store version of the Superman suit, and the film has Donald Plesance as the villain.
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11.12.2012 - 03:22 | Sockpuppet
Pumaman dresses nothing like Superman or any OTHER hero. I'm not sure how to describe his costume, some ridiculous disco tunic?
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11.11.2012 - 20:17 | BizarroGeek
Oh, Lupa, why?
Aquaman at least has superhuman strength and endurance... also the ability to give humans seizures. Don't bring his good name down by comparing him to Derpy McUselesson.
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11.11.2012 - 21:11 | SpeedyEricDon't forget that he's the King of the 7 Seas. In other words, HE CONTROLS 2/3 OF OUR PLANET.
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11.12.2012 - 03:23 | SockpuppetHe is Lord of Salad Dressing!
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11.11.2012 - 21:38 | ColeYote
Pu
Ma man
He flies like a moron
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11.11.2012 - 21:54 | JasmineAnnSnape
Psh! All Canadians know runes! Didn't you know?
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11.11.2012 - 22:52 | BloodrealmDuh, of course we do! Didn't you ask Phelous before you did this review, Lupa? Yeesh, do some research before you say things! I mean, come on, we learn ancient Norse runes and the secrets of long-forgotten gods in, like, grade 3! They're our third official language, after English and Beaverese, of course; the fourth one is French.
Oh, and you're right about Billy not being special, we're all magical wizards up here! I don't know what the film makers were on when they wrote the concept. And the dragon, too. We don't keep our inexplicable asian dragons in rivers! What do you think all these lakes are for? Nature? Man, they must've been on bath salts or something!
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11.12.2012 - 03:24 | SockpuppetThey certainly RUNED this movie! (I kill me!)
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11.12.2012 - 11:08 | BizarroGeekThor goes any chance of us taking it seriously, eh?
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11.11.2012 - 22:26 | astrakhan
So on a scale of one to Mel Gibson, how sloshed do you think Roddy Piper was when he made this? I'm going for eight.
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11.12.2012 - 11:42 | ladydiskette
Actually for once, Mandy did have the smart idea to tell the parents. Because I think nowadays some law enforcement officals (if reported) can shut down a carnival game or arrest the guy if they find that he has been ripping off his costumers.
As annoying as Mandy is, she seems more adapt at being the leader than Billy "Special Olympics" Owen is. And what is messed up is that the kids actually agree with his idea. Even Mandy. Thank god for Lupa riffing on this movie.
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11.12.2012 - 12:06 | Marcwulf
I'm gonna have to say shoebox.
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11.11.2012 - 22:33 | Cheshire Kitten
Between the lack of budget and effects, terrible acting, ripoff plot and out of place Norse Mythology, this seems hilarious. Great video, Lupa - loved the Pumaman music!
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11.11.2012 - 22:50 | Johnny User
9:30-What the fu-...oh, someone is RIDING the horse, oh, okay!
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Corgis are smarter than this guy. I have a Corgi who chases leafs and rubs aroud on the carpet, and shes smarter than this!
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11.11.2012 - 23:14 | fanime1
This was hilarious, but I'm so disappointed in Rodney Piper. First he cut his hair, and then he barely does anything in the movie! He was the only character I liked, and thus, cared about. It even touched me when he cried. That's how much I liked him. I'm also surprised there weren't any pedophile jokes about him, since he was a bit of a creeper in the first movie. They even said he liked hanging around children. Can't wait for the next review. You should have seen the smile on my face: :D That was both epic and awesome. I know it's going to look bad, but the concept is what really excited me.
P.S. Can someone tell me what Piper said at the end, and the director as well? I couldn't understand.
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11.11.2012 - 23:47 | ImaginaryGirl
!! Pumaman music! That was...that was the best. And I'm kinda horrified that I recognized it. >_>
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11.12.2012 - 00:22 | NintendoFanboy
The Pumaman theme will never not make me incredibly happy.
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11.12.2012 - 02:57 | Cinnamon Scudworth
I looked at the calendar today, saw it was 11-11 and thought "I hope Lupa timed this right." And she did.
A non-555 number in a movie!
"PAR-TEE-RENTAL: 519-882-0466"
Somebody call it!
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11.12.2012 - 02:56 | CyborgPrince
Wow. That movie sure was convoluted. I think the reason it was better than the last one was because stuff happens. Not much stuff, but just...stuff. Random stuff, but again...stuff.
Do not try to figure this movie out. Your head will explode. Next week's film looks interesting. Also quite strange. I think I saw a Robocop ripoff there somewhere. Aliens vs. Avatars? When was this made? Don't tell me right after James Cameron's film. I bet it was, though I could be wrong.
You played the Pumaman theme, now you have to review the movie. From what I've seen and read, it looks like a film that's right up your alley. Also looked up when Pumaman was released: 1980. By the theme music you'd think it was the late 60s or early 70s, though maybe that's because the quality isn't the best. Though the style still seems to be a decade behind, so maybe not.
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Good god, they made ANOTHER one of these shitty things? And how did not only the other 2 (make that 3) kids get to do magic, where did these other adults come from?
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11.12.2012 - 03:40 | JehuTron
I lol'd when I heard the Pumaman theme, best thing in the entire review. XD
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11.12.2012 - 03:53 | buckyboneThe election...was lost...IN THE RIVAAAAHHH!!! Sorry, had to.
3:35--If this was actually like that other wizard movie, that sentence would be relevant later. I doubt this, for some reason...
5:50--...The gypsy could be rigging the game herself.
6:26--There's puns, there's bad puns, there's Tara puns, and then there's this guy.
6:49--DEMON CARNIE!!!!!
8:43--Because she's Totally Not Hermione (wink).
11:40--This is BAD ACTING!
12:01--Totally not a Seinfeld reference, everybody!
15:10--...*year.
Pfft, Harry only had an invisible tent. We got a FORT!
Yay, a SyFy movie next week!
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11.12.2012 - 04:12 | TheAntWarrior
I need to see these movies!!!
It's amazing that two Harry Potter knockoffs manage to have a more confusing plot than J K Rowling managed to generate over 7 massive books.
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11.12.2012 - 05:14 | theseventhdoctor17:40 - Lord Victor has many spies...
This set of reviews is hilarious.
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11.12.2012 - 11:29 | MeanMongoose
I was already laughing when I spotted the title card. Thank you Lupa, thank you.
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11.12.2012 - 11:30 | snthssCan someone please tell me wth he said at 3:20?
"We have been working on a special project: A very young treefart" is what I'm hearing...
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11.12.2012 - 11:34 | ladydiskette3:34 - Oh my god...did Mandy ACTUALLY use her list of random facts for something relating to the project at hand that could be useful for once, instead of spouting off-topic facts?!?!?
o.o Or did I just dream it?
(that gluing thing was one of the basic facts that our Industrial Arts teacher gave us in High School but still, its good advice)
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11.12.2012 - 13:24 | SomeNorwegian
Badly dubbed carnie was hilarious. He should get his own movie where he acts and sounds like that through the entire thing.
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11.12.2012 - 14:16 | AnkaiLeik OMGWTF Canadians R all totes krayzee weeeird LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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11.12.2012 - 14:56 | Rue_Ryuzaki2
Oh man. Yes the Game booth Guy and Roddy Pipper are the best parts of these movies. Sadly there was a serious lack of Roddy within this one though, and why did he cut his hair?. ANyway lets get ready for next week. Already know Im going to enjoy it.
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11.12.2012 - 15:04 | ThePhantom
Thank you! Thank you for the Pumaman song! Helped. Hurts.
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11.12.2012 - 16:03 | Principal Snyder
Badly Dubbed Carnie needs his own spinoff.
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11.12.2012 - 16:03 | silenshoChildren actors in awful movies. I don't know how you were able to stand them.
Oh well. Rowdy Roddy Piper's hair will be missed.
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11.12.2012 - 16:31 | Jaso44
i was watching this review while eating chicken when you said that you were going to stab a child i spit chicken on my computer. made my day
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Powered by Compojoom comment 4.2
1:44- He now sounds like that teacher from “Swamp Zombies!”
3:09- …Or he’s been drinking throughout this film’s production.
4:19- Why does this film have the twin girls from The Shining?
This film is so poorly dubbed, I should be watching “Angel of Fury” starring Cynthia Rothrock right now, and the dubbing in THAT film fits perfectly.
9:54- YAY! INCEST! …Wait, what?
16:15- Wow. Nice job, Not-Green Lantern.
21:35- That’s for having your audience disappointed (as always), Billy Owens series.
I can also see that this film has improved a bit from the last film, but it’s still not saying much, because it’s still an obvious rip-off of a popular franchise that I really love.
Aliens vs. Avatars. YES! I was hoping would get to this ass-fest sooner or later, because of the oh so subtle title, and its 1.6 out of 10 star rating on IMDB.