Bloody Mary Killer

(79 votes, average 4.81 out of 5)
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Comments (65)
  • Maxilosian  - Turtle
    In Mandarin, 'Turtle' is an insult equivalent in offensiveness to 'motherf**ker'. I'm not making that up. It's like how some 'bad words' are based on normal names for things, such as 'bitch' being the word for a female dog.
  • Cinnamon Scudworth
    They couldn't say "ninja" in Europe, so they had to call the Ninja Turtles the "Hero Turtles."

    For a Mandarin-speaking audience, what did they have to change the name to THAT time? "Ninja Shelled Reptilian Things"?
  • Extreme-Madness
    What, in Europe can not be said the ninja?! But I'm from Europe! I think this absurd nonsense is only valid in Germany, at the other countries I do not really know. In my country they are called just Ninja Turtles (in my language, of course).
  • Hene
    Yeah, they were called ninjas in Finland too (Teini-ikäiset mutanttiNINJAkilpikonnat) . I didn't even know that they were called "Hero Turtles" somewhere. In any case Europe cannot be judged based on one country. There are too many differences between us.
  • MrThorbjoern
    In Austria they are called Ninja, and we and Germany speak German.
  • katsa5
    I've heard that its just England, and that applied mostly to the 80s cartoon. For a while, I thought it was France as well, but that was a video game which PAL version was likely a literal translation from a London distribution.
  • WackyRock
    In Germany the "Ninja Turtles" were called "Hero Turtles" because of the dark Meaning of the Word "Ninja". The Germans had and still have a big Problem with Brutality and Violance in Movies or Games. A Ninja is known as a silent Assassin. They just don´t want the heroic Turtles compared with cold hearted Killers like Ninjas. So they changed it to "Hero".
    In America theres allways the Problem with Nudity und Sex (that´s why all of you Reviewers cant´s show a single, female Nipple) and in Germany there´s this huge Problem with Violence or Deathszenes, especially in Childrens Cartoons. You should here the german Dubbings for Dragon Ball Z or Naruto 4 example. (hilarious)btw. why are we talking about the Turtles anyway?
  • Maxilosian
    BTW, fun review. I know some people who will laugh out loud at this.
  • chrismccart
    It's like an advert for how terrible dubbing at that time was ... except it's subtitles! Ahhhh!

    This is why you should never directly translate this sort of thing - there's a reason why diplomatic go-betweens are called interpreters rather than translators.

    And surely they could have filmed a similar looking warehouse for the end and edited in a few shots of Robin and a stuntman with bad hair, and pretended he was there for the final fight!?
  • StripesZB
    Is it me or at the sequence a bit before the 22:00 mark, the guy says to his adopted sister "Where do we fucking?" XD
  • BloodyL
    Sorry, no time for a comment; someone wants to get a thing from me.
  • Zilchtastic
    It starts to feel like they're standing or sitting in front of wide white expanses on purpose. "Just move!" you find yourself hissing at the characters. "Seriously, just edge slightly to the left so I can READ--" You give up, eventually, tasting bitter defeat on the back of your tongue. The magic screen-words-- they shall never be yours to know. Deep inside, where no one can see, you cry.

    Er, I mean... Great review, Lupa! Heeheee, Mortal Kombat jokes.
  • CarlosRIV232  - No one shoulb be surpires Ed hates Lupas
    Ed Glazer is a closer friend of the Cinema Snob and we know he treated Lupa! :D
  • LikaLaruku
    Yeah; Pow! Right in the kisser!

    BTW, Your old haircut is so cute.

    Lol, the last 3 seconds of that movie... XD

    Gee Ed, why don't you just call her Football Head?
  • SpeedyEric
    Thanks for the info about Geoffrey Ho and his films, Ed. Adds a little more from what Brad Jones said during Pierre Kirby Week. BTW, you should treat Lupa with more respect. Shame on you.

    6:04- I remember much from the Undefeatable review, and they didn’t talk like they were in a Coke commercial.

    It doesn’t really surprise me that Mr. Ho is a bit racist.

    10:14- I highly doubt that subtitle was necessary unless anyone watching this is hearing impaired.

    12:56- Same here, but I find the original dialogue more memorable (mostly because the only language I know to speak is the one I‘m using to write this comment).

    14:40- I wonder what this moment is like in the Japanese dubbed version of this review.

    19:58- I have, and it’s f**kin’ funny as hell.

    22:26- YAY!!! MORE SHOT-ON-$H!TEO!!!! =D
  • BooRat
    Seriously I'm evil Ed Glaser!

    If you watch as much anime and old martal arts movies as most of us you'd know China and Japan are both realy racist. If Loopa ever does a Sonny Chiba week or month and does Street Fighter you'll see!

    10:14- actually in China there are 3 different langues, but that still doesn't exsplain the crappy English!


    22:25- and it makes Birdemic look like Citizen Kane by comparison!
  • SpeedyEric
    11:40- I just realized that Cynthia Rothrock movie poster in the background. It looks like it's for "Honor & Glory."
  • BooRat
    Funny and great reiew!
    I got an idea somebody can do cut all the scenes from the English version of the movie into the Chinese verion. So you got some scenes you can actually understand and then when it goes to B-plot it's ovious!

    I got a movie I want you to review Loopa it's called Angst! I think it was Brittish made or Canadian... that should help you find it!
    It looks a lot like whatever that was you showed clips of at the end there!
  • ThatLong-HairedCreepyGuy
    I will stay awake tonight wondering what the thing was, and whether anyone actually got it.

    Or not!
  • Wes964  - Awesome
    Oh my god, you're reviewing Ben and Arthur. It's about god damn time that movie got some bad-movie-reviewer attention. :)
  • Thatguywiththelonghair
    Clearly they had some Grade-A translators working on this.
    Also, the cameo bits with Ed were awesome.
  • TerminalSanity
    The Devil fish thing is not really a bad translation Devil fish is another name for a Stingray. Sure it doesn't have quite the awesomely cheesy ring of stingray (which probably was never intended or would translate)but at least the literal meaning is still intact which is more than you can say for the rest of the decipherable translations.

    BTW the awkward ending to the B story is priceless its almost the actress was thinking: "So... yeah is this supposed to tie everything together huh? I don't get it whatever as long as I get a pay check....are we still filming?"
  • Mr.Evil
    "You've lost your eyes, Killer."

    "Yes, you've lost your eyes."

    Not as witty? There was no wit. Wit left the building. That dialogue's just pointing out the obvious. At least they were trying with the original version.

    Also, Ed Glaser's gotten evil. Keep it up.

    Great review, incidentally.
  • dennett316
    That's what she was implying, she was being ironic when saying "not as witty" as the original.
  • KillerBunnyFooFoo  - so it begs the question...
    Where the hell does Bloody Mary come into this mess? Why is sting ray now the bloody mary killer?

    Oh, and the whole 'big sister' deal? It's an honorific, something that doesn't always translate well into english. It's really impolite in east asia to refer to someone by their first name if you do not know them intimately, so everyone calls each other names based on age, sex, status and so on. You usually call females who are older than you but not old enough to be your parent "older sister". All my little cousins all call me that. It's just polite and the culture (I am sure Ed would explain it a bit better in exchange for another insult).

    Good review and nice outfit. Next week's review looks... interesting.
  • Trencher
    wow never knew Ed had such a dark side.
  • Andy Frogman
    Has Ed becoming evil... I mean eviler, been explained anywhere? I mean is this a story in development or did I miss something?
  • ArtticWitchica
    Lol after Phelous's one video and this one I suspect Ed has a darker more scary side.

    Also love the way you titlecard artist drew Ed XD He's expressions is awesome.

    As usually Lupa, you were the funniest when you were acting with Ed since you bounce off of the other members so well :3
  • DN_Joseph
    I'd recommend "The Shadows" for a whenever you can't find anything else to review. I'd say more on the movie, but I'd get into a rant long enough that I'd have to post it on IMDB, and not here.
  • Tom Smith
    Having a really good cameo by Sad Panda, You're much clever now Lupa. Very nice.

    6:06 if it wasn't for the rest of the movie I would have though that that line section had been intentionally modified to accommodate for a Chinese audience who doesn't know what the concept of police brutality is (since it is a police state).
  • Shinigami
    Glacer's cameo was good addition to already good review.
  • 3DMaster
    Why does Ed hate Lupa?
  • Chino
    That's not Ed Glaser! It's his evil twin brother, Dick Glaser!
  • vamast
    man, i grew up with so many funny chinese movies with funny subtitles
  • JehuTron
    Great review , Lupa , and I like how you were doing an homage to your first review by also sitting on your bed! ^^

    also , is it me , or did Ed broke his F word virginity near the end there? cuz that caught me off guard. XD

    that , and the fact that he mean. ^^"
  • Ed Glaser
    Don't be silly, I wasn't mean. Didn't you see I was smiling? ;-)
  • shadowbird712  - One thing could have made the subtitles legible...
    BLACK! BORDERS! Or using yellow instead of white. You know, SOMETHING to make the subtitles pop out from the white backgrounds!
  • atenhoteph
    Why is the bad man being mean to Lupa ? Someone call Cynthia Rothrock ! She will teach him to be nicer.
  • Skyscraper
    I have to admit, Ed Glaser smiling as he unleashes verbal bile upon Lupa is HILARIOUS to me. Seeing kind and polite Ed Glaser turn bad, especially with a reviewer that so many others in-character are heads over heels for is just the kind of strange that tickles my funny bone. May their rivalry live on and get even worse from here.

    That aside... oh man. These subs, man. This is like QUINTESSENTIAL poor subbing. It's so nonsensical, so filled with non sequiturs and baffling dialogue changes that it approaches something damn close to SUBLIME. I still think you're right in suggesting people see the undubbed movie first, because knowing that this had context and was actually a more coherent work BEFORE editing took place just... makes the more chaotic dubjob that much better. It's a delicious complement that enhances the experience, but you need to know the context first. A splendid display of schlock movie making, Lupa and Ed. Splendid indeed.
  • Flaregun
    Ed being a dick to Lupa kind of threw me too, but if the alternative is yet another obsessed Lupa stalker I think she'll gladly take it.

    "Swirl Leg"? I love it! It somehow sounds kick-ass and girly all at the same time. But "Strong Hung"? damm, if that had just one more syllable it could have been one of Mike & the Bots' nicknames for Reb Brown in Space Mutiny.
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