Pocket Ninjas

(158 votes, average 4.91 out of 5)
Comments (147)
  • StevieLasVegas
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    I think ADD patients would say this flick is a clusterfuck as they lose their attention to a piece of tin foil in a garbage bin.
  • Tactlesscat
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    I wasn't aware ADD meant retarded. Thanks for clearing that up, dick.
  • StevieLasVegas
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    Umm... where did I ever say retarded? All I did was use a bad joke about ADD patient's attention span (you know, the thing they have a hard time maintaining. Hence ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER).
  • Laharl
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    I'm ADD you dick, and I can honestly tell you that I, nor anyone I've ever met, would ever get distracted by that
  • MakoVulpes
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    I think I'd rather watch a piece of tin foil in a garbage bin for an hour an' a half instead of that
    ugh, I feel dumber just watchin' the clips from that movie...
  • yumekichigai
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    I like that reply Mako XD
    People are taking a joke way too seriously.
  • whatevergirl  - *Facepalm*
    No they're not, You worthless sack of shit! Making a joke about ADD is not FUNNY!
  • SpeedyEric
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    "Pocket Ninjas," or "Pokenin" for short. Now, for a segment of the theme song:
    POKENIN! (Gonna crap on all) You must not see. This film is a glass of pee. POKENIN!

    2:13- Well, this film is from the same company that brought us "Vampire Assassin" where they had an image of Not-Blade on the DVD cover.

    This movie is just trying too hard to be funny. Wait, scratch that; it's trying harder than Jerry Lewis in "The Disorderly Orderly."

    I feel the same thing you are after the White Dragon/Cobra Chan fight scene, Lupa.

    12:48- (Angry) It's make like a tree and GET OUT OF HERE! ...I mean LEAVE!

    16:42 to 16:52- Poor, Lupa. Only if I could portal through my computer monitor to you just for comfort over how terrible this film is. It's stupider and more confusing than ..."Garbage Pail Kids." (CUE CRAMATIC MUSIC) Well, it is.
  • SpeedyEric
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    What's with all the thumbs down. ...It was Pokenin, wasn't it?
  • Lotus Prince
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    Wow, that circus scene totally blew my mind. My jaw actually dropped. I mean, what were they trying to do? Seriously, what?
  • REBELComx
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    Maybe they were paying an homage to the future genius that would be Team Four Star's DBZ Abridged?

    "I am the patty cake champion."
  • trlkly
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    I'm pretty sure it was supposed to be a fight scene as imagined by one of the kids.

    Except, of course, that every part with the kids was added later. The movie was supposed to be horribly surreal, but the original author got fired for not making any sense, and some guy tried and failed to turn it into some fantasy story.
  • shadowhunter483
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    Wow. That movie was just downright terrible. So terrible that I feel bad for laughing at your jokes. Its like I'm laughing at your pain and now I feel bad for doing so. the review was great, you continue to out do yourself, but I feel as if I need to apologize for seeing you put yourself through this.
  • punksweets
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    Isn't that the guy from soul taker
  • rockybalboa211
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    Well, the actor has the same huge Jaw that the leader soultaker guy had. (Favorite MST3K episode since both Mike and Joel were on it)

    This movie probably has some sort of inception thing going on.

    12:30 - When did the movie become Birdemic?

    12:48 - Biff reference?

    Also to the comment below me, yeah where is Awesometeer? He posts the same comment on every Lupa video (His comments bring me joy). The only reason why he wouldn't..OH NO! He has probably invented interdimensional time travel in a crazy attempt to get with Lupa in the past! :(
  • Slimnoid
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    Yup!

    http://en.wikipedia.org/ wiki/Robert_Z%27Dar
  • Afro King Andy
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    I love Lupa. Ha! In before Awesometeer.
  • Afro King Andy
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    But seriously, one of your best reviews.
  • Strongbaddude
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    Awesometeer is broken last known message on On forget about it back to the future "I farted"
  • Mr.Whatever
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    Little known fact; the creators of this movie attempted to gain super powers by injecting whole squirrels directly into their brains.

    It's the only logical explanation!
  • TragicGuineaPig
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    Okay, the name of the great evil guy is Cobra Khan...

    "COOOOBRAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" {/cobracommander}

    "KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!" {/billshatner}

    Also, 9:38 - a perfect place to put Roger Rabbit crying, "Patty cake, patty caaake!"

    13:35 - Homestar Runner: "Gawbage! Gawbage! Wubbish! um, Muwdew Weapon!"
  • dr_mayus  - In all fairness to Australian guy's costume
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    Fantastic review as always, just wanted to say that the Australian flag is also Red, white and blue with stars on it so the movie didn't fuck up completely...well no it still fucked up completely but at least the costume sort of works

    http://tinyurl.com/ 5r3kzjx
  • whatevergirl
    The Australian flag doesn't really look like what he was wearing.
  • Skemono
    According to Wikipedia, this movie was shot using a "zen filmmaking" style, which means that they did not use a script. That explains a lot... but not nearly enough.
  • e33laf
    Really? I honestly just thought that the producers had two or three unfinished movies sitting around and just decided to edit them together, Godfrey Ho style, to make a complete, if incomprehenseable, film.
  • SpeedyEric
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    I thought that they wrote every scene of this movie on separate scripts, lost track of the order they were supposed to be in, and the editors thought, "F**k it," and just jigsaw the hole damn thing.
  • trlkly
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    You missed one part though. It started out that way, and some guy was hired later to try to make it make sense. The zen stuff was supposed to be a fantasy by the kids.
  • whatevergirl
    If that's a real way of filmmaking, Then it's a really retarded way, And it goes against any way of competent filmmaking and insults people's intelligence.
  • lowers1987
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    I don't even really know what to say.... i don't don't think this even qualifies as a movie.
  • Malken
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    Wow, I... I'm so sorry you had to go through that Lupa. Had I watched the movie itself, I could honestly say it's the worst movie I've ever seen in my life! I loved the review, but damn, you take "suffering for your art" to a whole other level!
  • krisopf
    Oh God this movie makes less sense than Tokyo Gore Police and at least you went into that knowing there would be no philosophical revelations to be had.
  • Damonashu
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    That movie had to be painful to watch in entirety.
  • Walt Conway
    My Boyfriend's Back?! YES! That movie is a great mix of campy and dark humor. I love it! Probably would have been better off in some kind of animated form, but hey, I enjoy it on it's super goofy merits.

    Also, I zoned out during this review.
  • Animikean  - and you're gonna be in trouble, hey-ne hey-na
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    I've also got a soft spot for My Boyfriend's Back, I remember the last line and that he was a really earnest non-asshole character. But it's been years since I've seen it so there's always a chance I have Legend recollection (only remembering the good scenes, forgetting long sloggy ones)

    I remember Lupa was not a fan of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (movie), Lupa please be kind!
  • curtnasty
    ....what the hell did I just watch?
  • Arkveveen  - One of your best reviews yet, Lupa!
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    This review made me crack up multiple times, mostly at the incrediblly unreal scenes within this incoherent mess of a movie and your reactions to these scenes, Lupa.

    I have guilty pleasure movies that are often considered bad. Doom is one of these guilty pleasures. But compared to this movie, that movie is OSCAR-WORTHY; Pocket Ninjas may be close to being the worst movie of all time, but I don't know what could be worse!

    Keep up the good job, Lupa!
  • Jay_Desu
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    It's...like a feature-length Youtube Poop video.
    I don't know what I just watched, but I'm angry now for some reason.
  • arcturus2005
    Still don't understand why your video's are posted on blip 2 weeks before they appear on this site.

    Still enjoy your video and keep it up, even if I get to see it 1-2 weeks b4 they appear here.

    Also anyone having part of next week's video appearing on the pocket ninja's review?
  • mehja
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    POKENIN!
    The new cartoon series - coming soon!

    P.S.: Can someone give a shovel to Mom that she can digg up her IQ?
  • SpeedyEric
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    Good to know I'm not the only one who thought of that joke. =)
  • GLKnight
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    Gary Danielsssssss... (gives an evil glare)

    Also known as Ken from the live action Fist of the North Star. He was also in the Tekken movie. I should have somehow warned you and Benzaie about him. You WILL run into him again, especially in some mid-90's Billy Blanks movies. Be warned. He's made WORSE films than this. People just don't readily remember...
  • C.O.C.O.
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    I laugh at this movie's jokes out of pity. That was clearly not the intent. There isn't an Uwe Boll movie in existence worse than Pocket Ninjas. The only movie I can think of that worse than this is Manos: The Hands of Fate because at least Pocket Ninjas had something for me to laugh at even if it is out of pity. In Manos, NOTHING HAPPENS and the only scene I can laugh at is the guy looking at his 5 wives banter incoherently about nothing looking like, "god, what have I done."
  • Mr.Foo
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    Gary Daniels isn't australien, he´s british. Other than that it was a really great video, as always. Looking forward to your next one.
  • brick mooncode
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    The style of this movie seems oddly familiar. Everything keeps coming back to ridiculousness... plot details rarely exist beyond the scene in which they're introduced unless they directly involve a prop... the title sounds made up and doesn't really encapsulate the movie in any way... I think this was an extended improv game of some sort.
  • Tsubasaga
    OK,maybe this movie is tell using so much freaking flashbacks in wrong order that made the movie impossible to understand
  • LikaLaruku
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    The only thing this movie needs to make it less coherent is to replace the Aussie instructor with The Ultimate Warrior & let him narrate.
  • Psychicllamakiller
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    given the complete lack of sense this film already makes, i think the ultimate warrior narrating would only make it MORE coherent
  • catornocat  - me responding to this
    what the FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU....head explodes
  • KnightofGrayskull
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    Wow Lupa, I think this is your most demoralizing review yet.
  • JaiCSC
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    Oh Lupa, you poor thing! Having to watch this.

    Come, you need a hug. And I promise I won't cop a feel.
  • Choronzon
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    During the monologues was that Spirit In The Sky riff playing in the background? Were the producers/director trying to tell us something? Like "blow this film up to the spirit in the sky"?
  • buzzUact
    avatar
    Ahh, I was confused just watching your review of this movie!
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