Shameful Sequels - American Pie Presents Beta House

(56 votes, average 4.93 out of 5)
Facebook Share

Follow Mike on Twitter! http://twitter.com/TheOnlyMikeJ

Doug's Official Facebook Page

Preorder The Uncanny Valley now!

Comments (36)
  • RushBoingo
    avatar
    Keep up the great work, it is Fascinating to see how all these spIn-offs take a downward spiRal into excuses for the crew to film naked girlS. Thanks for saving me from ever debating whether to see These.
  • Raymond  - I see what you did there
    avatar
    And you should be ashamed.
  • Sewblon
    avatar
    The incorrectly capitalized letters are, in order: 1. F 2. I 3. R 4. S. 5. T. Together they spell out FIRST. I give you credit for ingenuity, but you lose points for still effectively saying "first." Therefore, I give your comment a D+.
  • mcox4
    These movies are beyond reprehensible. I can't believe that human beings collaborated to make these piles of garbage.
  • TheLemsterPju  - *sigh*
    avatar
    This movie franchise killed any hope of me ever enjoying Don McClean's "American Pie" song again, without thinking about jizz and drunk teens puking on tits.

    A long, long time ago
    I can still remember how that music used to make me smile
    And I knew if I had my chance
    That I could make those people dance
    And maybe they'd be happy for a while

    But the movies made me shiver
    With every line they deliver
    Bad news on the doorstep
    I couldn't take Grandma's death

    I can't remember if I cried
    When I saw the man jizz and watched it fly
    But something touched me deep inside
    The day the music died
  • Me Wise Magic
    avatar
    This is gold! Perfect use of that amazing song!
  • Me Wise Magic
    avatar
    You can't be broken by this Mike. ONLY ONE MORE! You got this in the bag. This is just vulgar, has no substance, and just boggles the mind that some people consider this comedic entertainment. Seriously more cum & desperate, lame sex jokes. More unnecessary scenes of women disgracing themselves. More unnecessary scenes of men disgracing themselves. Yep! Eugene...please...for the love of God man...have a conscience. How much money did they give you? Seriously. Really beastiality jokes? It has reached that level of nonsense.
  • Kitten Champion
    I'm actually having trouble watching these reviews. frankly, even the most scathing commentary doesn't make up for having to actually see the scenes you're mocking.

    It's just such bullshit. If this is the script you have, and it's just bodily fluids going in obvious places, why not just make a porn? It could not lessen my opinion of those involved, and might actually significantly improve it since they'd be honest to themselves and their audience.
  • Goat Boy
    avatar
    Holy shit, naked chubby chick! I am definitely looking that scene up on Google Video!

    Also, I did chuckle a little at the "Alright, son!", but I think that's more cause it's Christopher McDonald.
  • CyborgPrince
    avatar
    I didn't think it could get worse. I'm afraid I was wrong.

    Sheep fucking. SHEEP FUCKING!!! WHAT?!!!

    How can this have more tits than the Naked Mile when nudity was right in the title of the last movie? Eugene Levy, really? You're better than this. You were on SCTV! What happened?

    I can enjoy a little gross out humor, but this is too much.
  • WiiStation360
    avatar
    Seriously movie, if you want to make porn, just make porn. Semen, vomit and bestiality aren't funny.
  • EarthboundXE
    avatar
    These movies still have no reason to exist.

    Porn is so easy to get now, and for free.

    Movies like this have no reason to exists at all.
  • trepiechick
    avatar
    I'm sorry Mike, I just can't watch these American Pie reviews anymore.
  • brick mooncode
    avatar
    These sequels, they're so shameful.
  • grkpektis
    Holy crap I never thought these AP spin-offs would be this bad. I tried watching the 1st one and thought it was too boring I am glad I stopped there
  • Goatboy
    avatar
    This film seems to be channelling Revenge Of The Nerds more than Animal House, only the roles are switched and we're meant to be rooting for the Jocks to win.
  • Strider_Reborn  - "Gold Digger's"
    avatar
    True, What I also didn't like this film the most is when the stated that the women in this campus blindly assume these Nerds will be rich & successful in the future, Which might Encourage Young Naive Women watching this to be "Gold Digger's".
  • leviadragon99
    avatar
    Huh... well it does seem like it's glorifying the douchebro culture while demonizing geeks, which is enough to piss me off right there, but then it goes and is just generally horrible across the board as well...
  • brick mooncode
    avatar
    What's even worse about the 'weaponized jizz' joke they're driving into the ground, is that it's most likely taken from the joke in Grandma's Boy where a guy jizzed on his friend's mom. The Naked Mile came out like 11 months later, and I seriously doubt it took any longer than that to write and produce. And the original joke was a lot better, of course (the character had subsequent awkward interactions with the friend's mom, and at one point the friend says the line "I can't believe you came on my mom" with total sincerity). It's a pretty odd movie otherwise though.
  • War1309  - american reunion
    avatar
    Come on you gota do american reunion as well
  • JehuTron
    avatar
    Am I the only one who can't help but to smile whenever I hear Mike J says "Boobs"? XD
  • ladydiskette
    avatar
    This may have to be the most spiteful American Pie sequel I have ever seen.
  • JoeDawson15
    Christ.................th is is.....TERRIBLE
  • CC*
    avatar
    these are quite possibly the worst movies i've ever seen. . . if not the worst ever made
  • smjaiteh
    avatar
    I never liked "American Pie," but it was at least slightly redeemable a la Eugene Levy. But these are just sh*t.
  • Oblivion Mara
    I want to see more of the ostrich- it seems to be the least offensive thing in this movie, by far. The most sensible as well.

    (Not to mention that after this I feel drown to have my head in the sand too...)
  • ColeYote
    avatar
    It's literally called "geek house." That's lazy even by going-to-university comedy standards.

    Remember Animal House? Y'know, when those kinda movies were good?
  • Trekkie313
    The college is in Detroit? Well that explains a lot because it's a hell hole in real life.
  • NeroAngelo
    considering the fact that you have to sit through these, I hope your tea was irished up. it seems painful to have a working brain while sitting through these

    apparently they think they can be like south park and just make things funnier by making them more disgusting

    also, that welshy joke XDDDD
  • Spindler2007
    avatar
    Excellent review. I've noticed the plot of this spinoff is actually a ripoff of the movie Revenge Of The Nerds but only this has the roles reversed and has more boobs and partying.
  • acewwewwf  - Love your reviews
    Message: the same as the title
  • mask-and-mirror
    So many hot bellybuttons. Maybe I should watch stuff like this.
  • Kooshmeister
    avatar
    So, wait, the nerdy students, a.k.a., the ones usually on the receiving end of mockery and abuse in real life, are the villains...? That's low, movie. Really low. In real life, fraternities like the Betas are often full of abusive and dickish jock scumbags and I'm disgusted that these films glorify this misogynistic, homophobic and ignorant "all that matters is tits, beer and sports" lifestyle while villifying the geeky guys.

    ...why are the strippers beating them up? Sure, the one dude asking to have his ass signed was a callous and rude creep, but surely this isn't grounds for beating up not only him but his friends as well. Jesus, even her kicking him off the stage was overkill. I'm amazed he didn't break his nose smashing into that table. And where are the bouncers? It's sad when Road House is a more realistic movie.

    And why exactly can't they just get anyone to sign his butt and say a stripper did it? Or, rather, how they prove a stripper did it? Unless one of the Betas goes with them and witnesses the signing, there's no way the Betas can know for certain.

    The business with the girl who has a dick is odd. So what if she has a dick? Why must comedy be mined from finding her revolting?

    Every single one of these people, including the girls, are the type of immature cumwads who just never grow up. And now they bring their stupidity to college, which, according to this movie and others like it, involves no studying, learning, or classes of any sort, and just endless booze, sex and drugs. These people are all oversexed, egotistical and prioritize all of the wrong things. I'd say they peaked in high school, but honestly, their behavior is more suggestive of a bunch of preteens who only THINK they're being edgy and cool, so they really peaked around middle school, and at the rate they're going, they're going to play themselves out before they're thirty and end up in a loveless marriage, a dead-end job they hate and turn into clones of their parents wishing for the glory days of their reckless youth, regretting nothing and never connecting their current unhappiness to the poor decisions they made growing up.
  • Valis77
    avatar
    12:12 i laugh because he forgot to edit the vagina lol!
Only registered users can write comments!

Latest Videos

NC: Swan Princess

Watch Video

Leon: AotT: Inquisition

Watch Video

NChick: Game of Thrones S3E3

Watch Video

Diamanda: Amz Spider-Man 2

Watch Video

Benzaie: Neo Versailles Ep 5

Watch Video

Lotus Prince: Snatcher Finale

Watch Video

Linkara: Athena #2

Watch Video

Sage: Plastic Little

Watch Video

Lupa: Haunting of the Innocent

Watch Video

Suede Played Higurashi P1

Watch Video

Adventure Time: Jake the Dog

Watch Video

Blockbuster: Planes

Watch Video

Adventure Time: Finn the Human

Watch Video

Lupa: BW - Rookie School

Watch Video

Sage Vlogs: Under the Skin

Watch Video

Diamanda: The Raid 2

Watch Video

Brad: Transcendence

Watch Video

Nash: Tasmanian Triangle

Watch Video

NC Com: Alice in Wonderland

Watch Video

Linkara: LPPO Ep 17 & 18

Watch Video

LP - Snatcher P13-15

Watch Video

NChick: ID vs WotW P2

Watch Video

Rap Critic: Loyal by Chris Brown

Watch Video

ChaosD1: Digimon Masters

Watch Video

Benzaie: Neo Versailles Ep 4

Watch Video

Lesbian Talk: Episode 54

Watch Video

Adventure Time: The Lich

Watch Video

Todd: Ghetto Superstar by Pras

Watch Video

MikeJ: Marley & Me TPY

Watch Video

Brad: ET the Porno Bloopers

Watch Video

Nerd: Ep 110 - Outsourced Anim

Watch Video

Adventure Time: I Remember You

Watch Video

Brad: Two of a Kind

Watch Video

Phelous: Gingerdead Man 3

Watch Video

Taylor: Lightning Returns

Watch Video

Adventure Time: Reign of Gunters

Watch Video

NC: Top 11 Good SW Prequels

Watch Video

NChick: Game of Thrones S4E2

Watch Video

Shaun K: Conception II

Watch Video

Lotus Prince: Snatcher P10-12

Watch Video

Linkara: Red Hood #1

Watch Video

Sage: Legend of Lemnear

Watch Video

Blog Categories

What's Up? (138)
Sports (264)
News (273)
Book Reviews (523)
Funny (559)
Top # Lists (736)
Animation (869)
Wrestling (969)
Movies (1030)
Anime (1053)
Thoughts (1121)
Comics (1137)
Misc Reviews (1174)
Music (1254)
Video Reviews (1793)
Film Review (2617)
Uncategorized (3964)
Video Games (4928)
Old Blogs (15357)