Shameful Sequels - Catwoman

(89 votes, average 4.83 out of 5)
Facebook Share

Follow Mike on Twitter! http://twitter.com/TheOnlyMikeJ

Comments (55)
  • Trekkie313  - What An Unexpected Surprise!
    Was not expecting a new video, guess it pays to look around randomly. Also a review longer than 10 minutes!

    *UPDATE* Wow, this movie really is shit. What the fuck is wrong with Warner Brothers and DC?
  • TOOTCB
    Sadly, Michelle Pfeiffer appears as one of the previous Catwomen in those photos, so this movie technically is a continuation of the Tim Burton Batman universe. Even the OnStar commercials are a more dignified follow-up than this flick.
  • AlucardsQuest
    avatar
    I don't know if that's enough justification for this to be included in the title of Shameful Sequels. Good video though!
  • Mr.Evil
    avatar
    As much as I enjoyed you ripping apart this terrible movie, I must be THAT GUY and cry foul! This is not a sequel. This movie isn't even in the same universe as any other Batman movie. This cannot stand, moral degradation, grrr, argh, so on and so forth.

    But I forgive. JUST DON'T DO IT AGAIN... because I'm THAT GUY!
  • TragicGuineaPig
    avatar
    Technically, it's a spin-off rather than a true sequel.
  • Cyborcat
    avatar
    No, actually it IS supposed to take place in the same universe as Batman Returns. Take a look at the scene where Ophelia throws a bunch of pictures of "catwomen" (ugh) at Patience--one of them is the Catwoman from that movie.

    It isn't technically a sequel, tho.
  • ladydiskette
    avatar
    I always though the cat breathing on her was a twist on a old wive's tale about how cats would enter a crib and supposidely "suck out" the breath of a baby. Hence, the babies' breath plant that they would put over the cribs in olden times.
  • AlucardsQuest
    avatar
    @Cyborcat Tell that to Tim Burton.
  • Cyborcat
    avatar
    I didn't say it was cannon.
  • TragicGuineaPig
    avatar
    Detrimental makeup side-effects? This is not a job for Catwoman. Everyone knows this is a job for Clayface.
  • Mephisto
    What's even more unforgivable about this movie is that it likely means we'll never get a Tigra movie, since they ripped off elements of her origin that are important in Tigra's origin, just done a lot worse here (In Marvel lore, the Cat People evolved alongside humans but separate after a battle that nearly wiped out the Cat People. The Cat People are looking for a champion, Tigra, to lead them back into civilization with humans. Yes it's a bit cheesy but her origin was written in 1974).

    So that goes double boo for this mess of a movie. It ruined two good characters at once.
  • rodentgoddess  - Feline biology fail
    avatar
    Umm no the penis of a male cat does not have spines to prevent the females from mating with other males, the spines on the penis are to cause the female cat to ovulate. Female cats can and often will mate with multiple males while in heat, often resulting in kittens in a litter to have different fathers.

    Other than that biology mess up nice review, I very much enjoy your shameful sequel segment. Oh and sorry to hear your not the father of your sisters baby it can be so painful when sibling cheat I can only imagine how awkward the holidays are going to be in your house this year.
  • TheAntWarrior
    avatar
    This movie is always on itv4 here in Scotland, and my mother has a kind of memory condition which makes it hard for her to create new long term memories (similar to the movie Memento) so she will honestly watch this film over and over and over again, forgetting how awful it is in between each time.
    Hence, this movie is not just bad, it is actually evil.
  • Sockpuppet  - Spiny cat dick
    avatar
    Isn't "spiny cat dick" was a British dish?
  • PontyMython
    avatar
    we actually call it prickly cat dick, but you are broadly accurate. good day to you sir
  • Sockpuppet  - Spiny cat dick
    avatar
    Isn't "spiny cat dick" was a British dish?
  • LevelUpLeo
    avatar
    Hehe, "in Soviet Catwoman, Halle Berry GETS HIT by car."
  • Moomoof
    avatar
    I feel like the cat having toxic breathe was the spirit of the cat goin inside sele....patience...body like ...i don't know this movie is dumb XD

    Thank god i didn't see it
  • ladydiskette
    avatar
    I will say the title sequense showing a montage of cats throughout history was probably the only redeeming factor in the whole movie I liked. Albeit short, it was a great montage and I really enjoyed it both as cat-lover and as a history buff.


    And the meet-cute between the cop and Patience was pretty adorable but-THAT IS ABOUT IT! YOU SUCK MOVIE! MAY THE SPIRIT OF THE MILLIONS OF CATS THAT DIED NEEDLESSLY DURING THE BLACK PLAGUE CLAW INTO YOUR SOUL MOVIE! DIE!


    *calmly* Okay I am done. :3
  • nemo3590
    Mike, how did you go the whole review without once saying "Catfight"???
  • roy  - good one mikej
    this movie is pice of dumasss and i hate
  • AbsintheMinded
    avatar
    It would seem that Mike has no patience for this movie.
  • Larie
    Mike, you're amazing. Those damn sister jokes... I shouldn't even be laughing, but you make me do it.
  • DarknessFallz  - You rock!
    avatar
    As usual, you're quite an entertaining reviewer, I started watching your older reviews, you were quite animated back then, but this dry and straight delivery works in a British way :-)
  • CC*
    avatar
    which batman movie ?
  • archer1949
    avatar
    Say what you want about Christopher Nolan and The Dark Knight Rises (and I could say a LOT) but they seemed to have a passing familiarity with Catwoman in the comics. They got that part right, at least. Anne Hathaway was my favorite part of that movie.

    No cat powers, no revenge subplots, no resurrections or mystical cat....whatever the hell that was in this movie. Just a skilled thief and con artist who uses cats as her gimmick. That's it. You don't have to complicate things.
  • TheDreReichDude
    I can't believe that NOBODY has mentioned yet that Dena Natali reviewed this already. It was a two-parter, and it was a lot better than this! I think that a review of this stupid stinker by a woman was more appropriate in this case, as opposed to by any of the guys, because this movie really was quite female-oriented. Normally I dont care for any reviews by any of the women on this site if it has already been reviewed by a man. But in this case, Dena's review totally blows this one out of the water!

    And yeah, Mike, THIS WAS NOT A SEQUEL! Everyone else who already pointed that out is right on the money. Better luck next time, mate!
  • MikeJ
    avatar
    I did actually say it is more of a spin off...
  • Cyborcat
    avatar
    Wow, umm ... I'm glad you liked my video, but this was uncalled for.

    Mine was not better, I just use a different method--I did a drawn-out retrospective, and this is more like a bite-sized review which is geared more toward comedy (and, IMO, works--meaning I did find it funny).

    Also, whether it was intentional or not, he managed to hit almost exclusively different points than I did. There is more than enough room for both on the site, so let's not play this silly "so-and-so did it first" game, okay?

    Someday I hope to cover some of the horror movies that Nostalgia Critic and Phelous did--when I see comments like this, it makes me think twice about it.
  • TheDreReichDude
    MIKE MATEI DID IT FIRSSSSTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hee hee ha ha ho ho!!!!
  • TheDreReichDude
    So why are you so upset anyway Dena? It's not like your opinions matter or count for anything around here anyway. You almost NEVER post anything here anymore. And neither does the chick with all the tattoos on her chest, I forget her name, cuz she's not important enough to remember. And what the fucks up with all these Blistered Thumbs assholes I've never heard of coming here and posting their reviews about stupid shit I've never heard of? It's like an invasion or something. Somebody needs to tell these guys to stay where they are and not infiltrate TGWTG ever again! They are not needed or wanted!

    And I love playing the "so-and-so did it first" game, thank you very much! It's fun, and it puts certain people in their place quite nicely. So sorry you dont approve. Oh wait, actually, I'm not sorry! So there!
  • iamnotincompliance
    avatar
    I knew they didn't use Selina Kyle for... well, I assume there's a reason they didn't. I knew the name they came up was incredibly stupid. But, wow, I completely forgot just how stupid. Patience Phillips. This is what they tried to pass off on people. Clearly I was justified in never watching it.

    And sweet merciful crap, every detail, including that name, is just wrong! I may not be entirely familiar with the Catwoman mythos, but I do know that that was not it. Eartha Kitt did it better, and less cheesy!
  • hauntedufo
    This film really is terrible. I've always thought Halle Berry was overrated, but her performance is AWFUL in this. Maybe she just realised the film would turn out to be crap anyway and gave up trying while filming it, I don't know.

    The CGI cat is particularly bad. Then apparently it's cat breath is what turns her into Catwoman. Seriously, who thought that was a) a good idea and b) would be able to be done without looking silly?

    I think what struck me compared to other film versions of Catwoman, bearing in mind I'm not familiar with the comics, is the rubbish way they tried to make her "complex" compared to other films. In Batman Returns she goes insane and is losing her grip more and more as the film goes on. Fine. In The Dark Night Rises she turned to a life of crime to escape, but finds now that it's just led her to a different trap and she wants another fresh start. Fine. In this, well, she's seems to want to have her cake and eat it. She makes out that she's a heroic crime fighter, but then, well, she's a thief. Maybe that's not much different from other film versions, but I just think her actions aren't explained adequately in this version, and Catwoman in this film comes off as a very shallow character, frankly.

    It says something that the villain is by far the best character in the film. She was a bit more interesting then everyone else in it at least.
  • ThisIsScorpio
    avatar
    Sorry BB, Dena already beat you the punch with her amazing two-part review of this shitcock of a movie.

    Better luck next time!
  • Cyborcat
    avatar
    See my response to TheDreReichDude above.
  • ThisIsScorpio
    avatar
    Oh no i love MikeJ, i just found your (Dena's) review better on a personal level is all.

    No ill will meant towards either party.
  • KeiTrains
    I like this review and I'm glad you did it. I don't have the time to watch everyone on the site so I watch who I have been for ages. I don't see the issue with multiple people doing reviews in this case =)
  • larsvontrier
    It's a so-so movie, I agree, but how is this a sequel, and secondly why the heck does everyone keep expecting a superhero movie to be realistic? Not even Chris Nolan achieved that entirely, and he damn well tried?
  • ToruKun1
    avatar
    "My sister's baby isn't mine"

    I spit taco out all over the screen, thanks for that.
  • Freezer
    Bad as this is, I still have to say Elektra sets the standard for Superhero Crap.
  • iDEMANDWeekendAtBernies3
    avatar
    MikeJ you are a true talent! I still piss myself every time I watch your American Pie 3 review. That video is funnier than the last 10 comedies I've seen in theatres.
  • Isolder74
    avatar
    What makes the 'powers' worse is the comic book Catwoman doesn't have powers just the same as Batman.
  • Dacquois
    avatar
    Aaargh!!!! I HATE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH!!! TAT Bring back Michelle Pfeiffer, I don't care she's, what, fifty now? She'll always be hotter than Halle Berry because she knows how to act and knows when to say no to a bad script!
Only registered users can write comments!

Follow us on:

Latest Videos

NC: Monster Squad

Watch Video

TTD: My Little Pony FiM

Watch Video

Sci-Fi: Southern Screamers

Watch Video

Sage: Top 10 Anime Abandon

Watch Video

Rantasmo: Fight Club

Watch Video

SF Debris: The Man Who

Watch Video

SGiK: Kenneth Goes on a Date

Watch Video

Tom White: Cathouse Blues

Watch Video

LOTD: Dracula Chronicles

Watch Video

Animerica: Death Frenzy

Watch Video

Linkara: TTfAW: Quest Research

Watch Video

Freeman's Mind: Episode 61

Watch Video

Rerez: Super Mario Bros Movie

Watch Video

TNchick: Pumpktoberfest 5

Watch Video

LAG: YKW - Mummy on the

Watch Video

Word Funk: Kiss From a Rose

Watch Video

Vangelus: Riobot Detonator Orgun

Watch Video

Lucky 6: Nerdy Girl News

Watch Video

BB: Vampire Academy

Watch Video

Oancitizen: Blue

Watch Video

MikeJ: Bacon Bowl Revisited

Watch Video

FB: Imitation Game / 71

Watch Video

Brad: Fury & Book of Life

Watch Video

Shaun: Monstrous October 16-18

Watch Video

Lesbian Talk: Episode 74

Watch Video

LOTD: Monsterpocalypse

Watch Video

Nash: You're All Screwed

Watch Video

SF Debris: VOY - Workforce P2

Watch Video

Making of NC: Maximum Overdr

Watch Video

Accursed: GD - Revenant

Watch Video

Lupa: Yes Madam

Watch Video

MasakoX: BFT - Friendship is

Watch Video

Nerd: Ep 132 - Gotham

Watch Video

LOTD: Deadpool - DG

Watch Video

SJwaC: TGWTG Trailer

Watch Video

AJ: Alien Isolation

Watch Video

Count: I Spit on Your Grave P2

Watch Video

TNChick: Pumpkt - Dark Brew

Watch Video

Blog Categories

What's Up? (143)
Sports (264)
News (283)
Book Reviews (567)
Funny (589)
Top # Lists (773)
Animation (974)
Wrestling (1008)
Movies (1126)
Anime (1143)
Thoughts (1195)
Comics (1275)
Misc Reviews (1344)
Music (1504)
Video Reviews (2004)
Film Review (2810)
Uncategorized (4077)
Video Games (5373)
Old Blogs (15309)