Halloween (2007)
Written by MikeJ Sunday, 31 October 2010 21:13
Awesome title card by Dr.Riconius at http://drriconius.deviantart.com/
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Comments (122)
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10.31.2010 - 22:44 | shrimppuff423
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11.01.2010 - 07:16 | DarkSaber
The man himself is called Mike J, he introduces himself as "A British Person", but I don't think "A British Person" is a character, it's just how he introduces himself.
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11.01.2010 - 15:01 | Divide By Zero
The character's name is Mike J. The line "Hello, I'm a British person" comes from the South Park spoof of Great Expectations, and was originally said by Malcolm McDowell. It's a throw-away gag that stuck around, and works equally as well for Mike J as for McDowell if you ask me =)
In other news, the sight of Mike J doing himself is more than a little disturbing.
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10.31.2010 - 23:00 | Lotus Prince
Looks like Myers' victim needs to find a cure for...seventeen stab wounds in the back.
They're up to fifteen! Yay!
Also, I think I like Mike's version of the movie better than the real thing. Also, lamest ending EVER.
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10.03.2011 - 23:36 | plaidman
Actually the original was done by John Carpenter. He wrote and directed it.
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10.31.2010 - 22:54 | SpecterM91
Is that a Jack-o-Melon? :O
I really, really didn't like this remake. If it wasn't called Halloween, it'd be a decent slasher. But taking a mysterious, creepy villain like Myers and giving him a cliche, overly detailed origin story just sucks a lot of the fun out of it. But, to be fair, it's still better than quite a few of the Halloween sequels. I will say that McDowell made a FANTASTIC Loomis, though, if you ask me.
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11.01.2010 - 16:57 | ToonNinja
The question is, which was worse: Halloween the remake or Halloween III: Season of the Witch? THAT'S the great question is in this film!
...By the way, Mike? Your version of the movie had me dying.
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11.01.2010 - 18:24 | Rockabore
Halloween 3 was much better than this. It wasn't the best but it certainly wasn't cliche and stupid like the remake was.
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You know it's a shame that Halloween 3 didn't do well because the Halloween movie franchise was meant to be about a different story each time not about Michael Myers.
Supposedly the novel version of Halloween 3 makes a boat load more sense and resolves certain plot points in the movie such as the time zone issue.
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11.02.2010 - 10:34 | SpecterM91Halloween 3 is great, it just had the misfortune of being called Halloween. Under any other title, it would've been loved as an offbeat horror movie for Halloween celebration.
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It tried to hard to be just a basic suspense/slasher film, and turned into a complete mess. Personally I like the one with busta rhymes, because of its stupidity but it succeeds at being kind of a horror/comedy.
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10.31.2010 - 22:58 | MadClawMannnnn/)/)
(^.^)
(")_(")
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10.31.2010 - 23:02 | der_ketzer
Thanks for doing this review. Really horrible what they changed from the original.
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10.31.2010 - 23:07 | Torchic91
I'm a little disappointed that after punching the hive, you didn't say "Ahh!! NOT THE BEES!!!" a la Wicker Man.
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11.01.2010 - 14:59 | Divide By ZeroA deadly bee weapon.
Bees.
My god.
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10.31.2010 - 23:36 | H2O
It's good to know I'm not the only one that thought young Micheal Meyers looked like a girl. Seriously though, the character is supposed to be a mindless killing machine, a force of nature driven to endlessly kill. Giving him a stereotypical sad childhood doesn't make him any more endearing or interesting and it definitely doesn't make him sympathetic. Oh and of course every other character in this movie is a ridiculous asshole that acts completely removed from reality. That way we the audience feel they got what they deserved when they inevitably get killed. It also figures the only actual scares are lame jump-scares too.
Mikes ten second remake was way more entertaining.
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The sympathetic back-story doesnt fit here, it would be better in Halloween 2, wheres their was a reason behind his demented killings, or at least re-titled the Halloween 3: Season of the Witch to Halloween 3: Origins of a mindless killer.
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10.31.2010 - 23:49 | DaSuper32i like this movie much better the sequal
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10.31.2010 - 23:49 | edjr1980
Sorry I missed it, what's wrong with boobs again??
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1. They are attractive.
2. The try to sensitize with the young minds of the sadistic men of today.
3. They add little or no effect to the movie entirely.
4. Horrible and awkward slasher movie cliche.
5.A run-on joke for Mike J.
6.Timid and annoying.
and 7. THEIR FUCKING BOOBS!!!!
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10.31.2010 - 23:59 | DGray5100
This isn't a sequel at all. It's rather a remake of the original Halloween. As a remake it's really bad. But if you take it by its own merits it isn't that bad. I could definitely say that there are far worse remakes and it's actually watchable when compared to this movie's sequel. All in all, this isn't a good movie, but it isn't terrible. There are some fun scenes and the acting isn't cringing. I still prefer the original in every way and the remake doesn't even come close, but the remake could have been a lot worse.
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11.01.2010 - 00:34 | whatever42
I had heard this movie was pretty bad and I can see that what I heard isn't too far off. The movie isn't among the worst I've ever seen, but it's definitely not very good. However, that ending was utter and complete garbage. Seriously, that was possibly the worst ending I've ever seen to a movie that wasn't already awful in every way, even if it was setting up for a sequel.
In all honesty Mike, I liked your version of the movie a lot more than the actual thing. It was very entertaining and I laughed both times you showed it. The joke with the beehive was also a good one.
Always good to see another video from you Mike. You did a very appropriate job for Halloween.
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11.01.2010 - 00:41 | SpotTheShingoMikeJ is having a sex scene, with himself?
Gah! Max Weinberg flashback!
(Those who remember classic Late Night with Conan O'Brien will get that!)
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Actually the main reason why the movie suck ass is because of the producers.
Rob Zombie isn't exactly the greatest director ever, but the reason why the movie is such a mess is because he was forced to rewrite the script so it changed from psychological horror about the origin of the killer to a pointless snuff porn.
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11.01.2010 - 04:56 | dennett316
But the fear comes from the fact that there's no explaining why Myers does what he does...a seemingly normal child becomes a killer. I'd argue that Zombie's concept is flawed from the start and results in zero scares or suspense.
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In the old Halloween Michael Myers attacks his victims, with the exception of the climax,qickly and quietly. In the 2007 version he beats up his victims, whichs makes a lot of noise and can be heard a mile away, and then kills them. The 2007 Michael Myers is an idiot.
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11.01.2010 - 00:52 | EvilAshTwinI actually didnt think this one was too bad. Halloween 2 though, that was the one I thought was pure and utter crap.
Also, did you know the guy that plays grown up Michael is the guy that played Sabertooth in X-Men?
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11.01.2010 - 00:52 | TrencherThe main problem with this crap is that they try to make Myers into an anti-hero.
Great review. Rob Zombie sucks!
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11.01.2010 - 01:02 | danethefurry
This movie sucks balls. Fuck off Rob Zombie. Go back to music or go away for good.
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11.01.2010 - 01:49 | MichaelDj54God I hated this. You don't give Michael a backstory! It's scarier when he's a monsterous creature when you don't know what he's striving for!
Also, the scene with Danny Tre....tree....Danny, is absolutely heart wrenching. I hate it when people are screaming for mercy when they're being tortured. HIm screaming "I WAS GOOD TO YOU!" was just...horrible.
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11.01.2010 - 01:52 | Deimos1984rd
Yeah I was not a fan of this remake of Halloween. That's why I don't like it when they remake horror classics.
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11.01.2010 - 01:56 | jalford
BEEEEEEEWBS!!!
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11.01.2010 - 02:43 | Angelic Plague
Loved your version of the movie, Mike!
Laughed my head off at the scene where you had trouble with the censor bar!
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11.01.2010 - 02:47 | QuetzaDrake
Tray-yo, MikeJ. Traaay-yoooo... or tray-ho? tray-oh? Fuck.
People have said this before in droves, but goddamnit, why did they feel the urge to give Michael Myers an on-screen origin story? It's almost as bad as attributing his mental illness to some Druidic curse. Rob Zombie, we don't need to see the backstory to a Law and Order case to figure out why Michael Myers kills people. He killed his family, he wants to kill his sister that lived. We don't need this "animal torture" crap or long sessions with Malcolm McDowell (who obviously just wanted to be Dr. Loomis to be Dr. Loomis). We were fine before. Ugh.
But at least this kinda kept Dr. Loomis's character in tact... but then 2 rolled around and... ugh.
EDIT: Oh yeah, the ending. There is only one ending worse than this one, and it's the one for Skinned Deep. This is terrible, but at least this girl doesn't scream through the entire fucking credit sequence.
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11.01.2010 - 03:21 | huey_pham_04amazing, your best review yet i think, the gags kept coming.
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11.01.2010 - 03:57 | CrimsonGhost
WE MISS YOUUUU
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11.01.2010 - 04:13 | LikaLaruku
Can anyone think of any more movies that don't need to be remade that Hollywood can wipe it's ass with?
Well man, they had to cut out all the suspence to make room for the boobs. How else will they fill their "males aged 13-24" quota?
Lately horror movies are telling me something about Hollywood. They think that horror movies aren't for women, unless they like to look at boobs, & that men don't care about story or acting or character development or coherency; they just want porn.
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11.01.2010 - 09:19 | saint23thomas
I'd say it's more like they think that everyone that goes to a horror movie doesn't care about the story, suspense, characters, etc.; they just want a snuff film.
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11.01.2010 - 04:49 | dennett316Rob Zombie has a horror movie check list that he ticks off, hence the over use of boobs and cameos. This film is terrible, but it could have been tolerable if he had any idea how to create a likeable character, wasn't so concerned with stunt casting and didn't resort to a 50 minute rehash of scenes from the original with all the suspense and talent removed. His bizarre need to make the killer an anti-hero results in some massively over the top asshole characters like the rapists who set Myers off and the shitty father (step father? Don't remember.) and completely sucks the fear out of the character.
Michael Myers is scary because by all accounts he was so normal until he killed his sister that fateful night. No reason for it, he's simply become this killing machine...this force of nature. The embodiment of evil.
Oh wait no, turns out he was the chubby kid who got bullied and had a shitty home life so he dealt with it by killing animals and then people YAAAAAAAAAWN! Well done Rob, congrats, why didn't you just create your own shitty killer rather than sully the Michael Myers name? Oh yeah, $$$$$$$.....silly me.
Awesome review Mike, got more entertainment from your re-enactment than the actual movie.
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So this Rob Zombie guy has young girls showing their breasts except the protagonist who just happened to be his wife...
Wow, the word "sleazy" is coming to mind.
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Wow - just everyone followed up this opinion. Sorry but i gotta disagree at this. I liked rob zombies approach at focusing on michael's development. At least he changed the standard slasher formula (monster, simple motive, strength never explained). Also the characters seem more plausible being assholes i.e. - i mean the original was a good slasher movie, don't get me wrong - but this remake i actually liked. If you really want to tear movies apart then talk about the "Platinum Dunes" remakes. These are real shitbusters.
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11.01.2010 - 05:28 | Toe-Knee-Bee-Ears
I honestly Like this movie.
I have some problems with this review.
Why do you complain about there being boobs in this movie ? The original also had boobs.
The rape scene was cut out of the theatrical version. It's unfair to criticize a scene that was cut from the theatrical version. Technically , it's not part of the actual movie.
Why did you complain about the ending ?
The ending of the original was very similar. It also had an open ending.
How can you call it torture porn ? It had no torture in it.
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11.01.2010 - 05:39 | Some Bloke
Even in a bad wig, Malcom McDowell kicks ass.
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12.11.2010 - 09:00 | DirtyHippie
Excellent casting choice my droogies!
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Also, is that a carved mini-watermelon?