If its anything like the shitty remake it cant be good...actually i didn't even like the original.

I remember renting this movie one Halloween and like I said in Lupa's review of Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, in comparison, this actually scared the hell out of me.


Personal preference aside, I kinda liked it, the characters in this movie were at least sympathetic. Well, at least the ones that were getting slaughtered were in my opinon. But to be fair, I didn't see the remake and I have to agree that cow scene where they run the car through it was a "WTF" moment for me. I mean, that bovine came the fuck out of nowhere!

Look at Film Brain. He is British, has blonde hair, reviews movies, so he is Welshy. (music plays)

Welshy is quite clearly not blond.

Well mother fucker.

I actually like "Battle: LA," because it's Oscar worthy compared with "Skyline," which diserves to be reviewed. Also, I like the Halloween, Friday, and Nightmare reboots, because they take these film franchises, and revamp them a bit for 21st century audiences. Also, just to let everyone know, these are MY opinions. Everyone has the right.

The color filter in the Transformer Trilogy is actually more colorful and brighter than this film.

I feel that the maker of this film hired young actors who know jack-crap about late 1960s culture.

I also agree than all this pointless gore was uneeded. This shows why I don't go see many horror films in the theatre. The gore scenes in the Alien, Predator, Friday the 13th, and Nightmare on Elm Street films make more sense.

Love your cameo, Lupa. You always know how to cheer me up. =)

Skyline deserve nothing but our pure hate. I cannot understand you could fucked up a simple movie concept like that :|

Thanks, Drake666. An alien invasion film like ID4 is simpler than this.

Hold up. Eragon is the next movie that needs to be reviewed.

(There's a movie man waiting in the sky. He likes to watch the movies as long as it's approved by you European guys. There's a movie man waiting in the sky. He drives a run down milk van and his second in command is that Welshy guy. He told me, let Film Brain Review it, let the critics disaprove it. Let the Film Brain beat it dow, dow, dow, dow, dow, dow, dow ,dow dow, dow, down. (and so forth)

I think Lupa sums up all of our reactions:

"Heh heh! Your misfortune is funny!"

*sigh* I watched this movie and did not like it at all. Basically it's a combination of Welshy and Mathew's reasons: the gore was unnecessary, the expanding of what we saw in the remake was stupid, they killed off a character that honestly didnt' need to be humanized, and the original movie altogether is just sooooo much better than this. Look I'm not entirely against horror Icons like Myers and Freddy being humanized, hell I liked how they basically made Freddy less sympathetic by proving how he was a pedophile. Myers coming from a bad home though just seemed...weird. Like really he just snapped from having a bad family life? Look I can understand if he was bullied and finally started killing his bullies, then killing his friends, and then killing his family but why just have him kill his family straight up? People won't care if it's family when his dad's an asshole, his mom is abused, and his older sister is a slut.

Also why did we need to learn Leatherface's real name? That really just kills his character even more as you just throw out the fact he was a straight up killing machine. Look again being bullied is fine to influence a killer but why not actually show how he lashed out at the bullies to show he was dead inside and that really he liked to kill? Also this is why prequels to some horror films are pointless unless you specifically have one survivor that at least appeared in the movie before the prequel.

I have a question: The guy who played Arlo, wasn't he in the movie "Full Metal Jacket"?

The most evil wizard... named Tom

Tom Thumb; the thumb stands for (censored sentence). Yes.

I will help you find the compass of Davy Jones, if you will do strange things to my dog named Tim.

Thomas the Tank Engine; You don't want to know.

Tom; one of the extras in Eragon.

A cross-over between Welshy and Film Brain for a horror movie? As a British horror fan this is almost too good to be true :)

To give you an idea of how forgettable this movie was, I managed to get 5 minutes and 30 seconds into the review before remembering I'd even seen the film. That isn't a good sign is it?

Edit: And a big problem I have with this film is that they use too much of the chainsaw. Yes I know what the title is, but in the original only one single character actually died from a Leatherface induced chainsaw incident. Why? Because frankly a chainsaw is not a convenient weapon for murdering. They tend to be big, unwieldy and loud. Not so great for the whole 'element of surprise' thing.

The opening warning made me laugh. You might as well have just written "WARNING: This review features the sort of things you'd usually see in one of Phelous' reviews" and be done with it. *laughs*

Or Cinema Snob.

This is one the most disgusting movies I've ever seen. But, I found this piece of shit to be much more enjoyable (and far less disgusting in comparison, which I didn't think was possible at the time) than Day of the Dead "2": Contagium...

Awww...poor Pink-Haired Guy. No one cares about him.

"It's ORANGE!"

...whatever.

And how the basic message of 'be careful for what you wish for' has been done to death? Well its true, shocked by this this piece of gore porn I went to IMDB to see it getting 5.8 score. Whilst I wanted to offended by its high score I wandered into the Trivia sections where I found this:

"Producers Andrew Form and Bradley Fuller decided not to make a sequel to the 2003 movie..."

Really? Hollywood not trying cash in a sequel? As shocked as I am how they wanted not to carry on this movie still got made, so what happened did the Studio put pressure onto them? The Trivia bit carries on:

"...But the fans kept coming to them, asking how the family got that way and wanting to know several unanswered questions in the 2003 version (some of them include how Monty lost both of his legs, to how Sheriff Hoyt lost his front teeth, and how Leatherface got his nickname). And after a meeting with Michael Bay, they let Sheldon Turner write the script for a prequel and they were prepared to make it."

So all of the bits that Welshy and FB asked if it was necessary to know were infact directly ask by the FANS rather than a lazy writer trying to be clever. I'm not sure if that makes things better or worse...

That's actually kind of funny if you think about it, since it's still just a regular slasher gorefest. The movie was supposed to answer the question of how this bloodbath happened, and the answer is somehow just another bloodbath.

eheheheh your misfortune is funny!

that made me laugh!!!

So Leatherface had one of those "silent chainsaws" in the back seat?

Either he had the chainsaw turned off, or he started it up without her knowing. Which, considering it's a CHAINSAW, is pretty hard to do...

Thursday and Friday nights are the worst updates usually. Glad to see at least film brain and brad are there to keep the updates from being stinky

Yeah, keeping R. Lee Ermey a secret was an exercise in futility - the guy's got a pretty recognizable voice.

very nicely put: this entire genre of blood-porn and gorefests is nothing short of Poisonous... and here I was thinking Alien and Predator were gory... those movies actually have plot and substance and genuine scares!
Filmbrain, Welshy, I don't normally agree a whole lot with your opinion, but this review... wholeheartedly agrees with my very disdain for the entire blood-porn genre...

Wow you managed to fit just about every Brit TGWTG reviewer into this review.

I'm so glad the world didn't implode from all this magnitude of awesome.

I hate modern day horror movies, because this is what a lot of them have become - Gore feasts. Fine, yes, you can put gore in them but when a horror movie has no suspense and makes up for it by putting in a multitude of jump scares and pointless, disgusting and mean-spirited gore it's not scared. All they do is left you feel awful taste in your mouth afterwards. I am sick of horror movies like this, and I AM SICK OF THEM DOING RE-MAKES! These older horror movies are iconic, and then people like Michael Bay or Rob Zombie come along and rape them; filling them with unnecessary jump scares, gore, blood and violence...And increasing sexual assault. There's a rule: Do not put sexual assault into your things unless you can write it in an extremely tactful way...Very few people ever get it right, and all it does in movies like this is make people REALLY uncomfortable.

Just stop it!

That review was great guys. Top shelf stuff.

I couldn't agree more with your opinion on Battle L.A. being the worst movie of 2011. I understand that special effects(SE)aren't entirely what makes a movie, but it seems they didn't even try with this one. It's like they spent all the budget on the trailers for this movie and the actors. The "aliens" look like something copied and pasted out of MS paint.... real intimidating....

I have the opposite opinion. I LOVE torture porn movies. Then again, I also love torture porn, so I guess it's just a case of "different strokes."

Watch from 4:41-5:50 Nice editing guys. I almost didn't catch that one. I'm not trying to be nit picky, these things just jump out at me. Just thought I'd complement you guys on a great editing job.

Dr Ashens cameo wooot

Good old Thomas "Leatherface" Hewitt

I think Matthew's comment summed up this film - "mean spirited". There was no reason to make it, it was impossible to care about any of the protaganists, and it existed solely as torture porn with the excuse of having a decent horror movie's name tacked on the front. No redeeming features whatsoever.(Well the review was very entertaining, you two definately need to collaborate more).

This movie is just unappealing to anyone with taste.I would rather WATCH EVERY SINGLE UWE BOLL VIDEO GAME MOVIE than sit through this barf-inducing gorefest

A talentless hack director working on a film from Michael "Fuck Plot, More Explosions" Bay's production company, you say? Noooo, surely you jest!
I really don't see the point of these remakes. No one is going to make us forget about Robert Englund as Freddy, so that reboot was doomed from the start. And the Friday the 13th remake forgot little lings like JASON NOT BEING THE KILLER IN THE ORIGINAL MOVIE.
Michael Bay (and anything he has a hand in creating) is pretty much everything that's wrong with the movie industry rolled into one egotistical, unlikeable person.

Lest we forget.....
Eli Roth "justified" the existence of Hostel I and Hostel II as a comment on modern society embracing torture and violence as the "norm" and how it wasn't that bad after all in the long run (Hostel: Bloody gory revenge is justified because of the "justified" torture of the "evil" American tourists, Hostel II: The victim becomes the culprit because it is the way of the world mind you!!!!!)
And Saw is more preposterous in its concept: The only way to truly appreciate life is through mutilation and death!!!!!!
These films don't deserve a legacy neither do they deserve infamy or attention, they just have to go away as a genre alltogether.
Much like remakes/reboots/origin movies of classic horror movies.
And now Leatherface is.....Tommy, seriously people!

LMFAO! Symbolism! i died of laugher ! and the chainsaw, yes now I know, thanks movie LOOOL!

Awesome Review. SO spot on.

I like the guest, whelsy ?

Who ever it is, I hope to see more of him. He's smart and funny.

Ah, torture porn, when will your shit stick ever wash off of the horror genre? I mean gad damn, this really needs to stop. I loved Saw I-IV (V-3D can fuck right off IT ENDED WITH FOUR), but torture horror needs to fucking die, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: the Beginning needs to be its' grave marker. Seriously, at least is Saw I-IV, it related to the plot, was in the hands of the victims, and the films bothered to flesh out the characters. I gave a shit about what happened with Hoffman, Zepp, Amanda, Detective Tapp, Lawrence, etc. I don't care about the meatbags in Hostel, Turistas, The Collector, Martyrs, the remake (or original) I Spit on Your Grave or this film. True horror needs to come back. No more torture porn, no more reboots, no more pointless back stories, no more one dimensional characters, no more ancillary bullshit. Bring back horror.

Also, they're making a THIRD Halloween movie!? Another sequel in the reboot line!?
FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCC CCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!

Oh, so that's how Bryce Larkin really died.

I hope someone else gets that joke.

Got it!
Also... Leatherface is wearing Mat Bomer's face? He should be gorgeous... :-/