Against the Dark
Written by Film Brain Friday, 22 July 2011 01:58
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Comments (76)
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07.22.2011 - 02:29 | Gborr
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07.22.2011 - 23:17 | AndrewDeLong
Honestly, I thought Segal was going to go after the Twi-tards first. This just must have been his warmup.
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07.23.2011 - 06:36 | ultramanmattia
Your post is full of win.
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08.20.2011 - 08:21 | Sheranda
I would have called them "zompires."
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07.22.2011 - 02:26 | Jof12788
A war between Vampires and Zombies, what could possibly go wrong?...Steven Segal, Linden Ashby and a direct to DVD release.
Can't believe Johnny Cage's career survived after Mortal Kombat. All that was needed to finish this movie off. Thanks for ripping this one apart. ;)
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07.22.2011 - 03:36 | honestiago
Of course his career survived: he's Johnny Cage, the greatest action star who ever lived! His career will never be stopped... and neither will his fists (as long as he doesn't pull a Segal and turn into a little chubbers). And don't let him find out you insulted his career; he'll hunt you down and perform a FATALITY... or maybe a BABALITY.
Worst vampires ever? I'm still going to go with the vampires from The-Series-That-Must-Not- be-Named. At least the ones in this film don't sparkle.
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07.22.2011 - 03:51 | mehjaJust when you think you couldn't get lamer vampires than Twilight...
1) The virus that created vampombies should be highly infectious (apokalypse and such) - yet you can even mess around with blood as if it is sterilised water and be in no risk of being infected.
2) Does it transmit by biting? No, because they do not even have the teeth to bite and prefer inspiring coffee cups for drinking.
3) And you can kill them by slow mow stamping.
Laaaaammmmeeee....
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07.22.2011 - 03:21 | Alkami
I can't believe this movie is so bad that a Tommy Wiseau look-alike is by far the best thing in it.
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I thought that really was Tommy Wiseau! Either way, I have to admit that the scenes with him were pretty creepy.
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07.22.2011 - 03:39 | illpropaganda
Sad to see Seagal month ending soon! This was excellent, as always!
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07.22.2011 - 04:35 | BooRat
Ok way wasn't anyone sued in the making of this movie for theft of footage!?
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07.29.2011 - 02:55 | blackraven87Because Hollow Man and Stealth were released by Columbia Pictures which is owned by Sony, and Sony's Home Entertainment arm released this. If there was footage from other films in there, it was also probably from films released by Sony and/or its subsidiaries. :P
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07.22.2011 - 04:45 | Talin Silverbane
You know I've never heard of this Seagal fellow till now...I'm starting to wish it stayed that way.
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07.22.2011 - 05:07 | MorrowDid you notice they misspelled "Katana" on the back of the box?
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07.22.2011 - 05:30 | ThatPersonintheSweaterAre Vampombies related to the Zombie Goasts from Half Life: Full Life Consequences?
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07.22.2011 - 05:46 | WhitestShadow
Why is it that movies are having problems with classic zombies recently? Its like they cant decide on if they are gonna have weird,running, screaming, infected people like in "I Am Legend" or standard Resident Evil or George A. Romero zombies and instead we get a weird mix between the two. I miss the traditional zombies :(
Great review as always Film Brain :)
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08.20.2011 - 08:29 | SherandaI noticed that! A group of survivors fights off a majority of people infected with a disease that makes them act like zombies. It's been used in so many movies. I'm sick of it!
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07.22.2011 - 07:10 | JehuTron
You know , "Vampombies" doesn't have that ring to it. you should've called them "Zompires" instead.
regarding the movie , yeah , it looks boring as hell.
can't wait for the conclusion of "Seagaw Month" , next week. ;)
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08.20.2011 - 08:29 | SherandaAh, you beat me to it!
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07.22.2011 - 07:27 | morphman86
Is is just me, or does this movie seem a lot like the 2003 xbox release of Hunter: The Reckoning?
Change Vampombies to Demons and Infection to Posession and it's the same!
Ragtag team of highly religious christians, survivors gathering in vigilante teams called Hunters, close combat weapons and a fat, old ex-military to lead them.
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yeah buyt hun ter was actually bad ass and i only remember 1 religous guy (the priest obviously) and he wasnt in your face about it though i remember he was bad ass when he kills the bad guy at the end
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07.22.2011 - 07:36 | DarkBee
Fart joke supervisor: Lupa? LOL!
Anyway, that was indeed a really boring movie, Seagal hasn't had it for many years.
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07.22.2011 - 07:49 | BaronGrackleI Am Legend (the film) totally should've kept the book's ending. Their decisions wasn't bad enough to be Bad Movie Beatdownable, of course, but "Will Smith the savior of humanity" definitely took away from it.
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07.22.2011 - 07:52 | Non natoThe best thing with every zombie films is that you're invincible to their attacks if you put on a medieval platemail
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07.22.2011 - 07:56 | Shinigami
Thats kinda lame if Matt needs Lupa as supervisor to fart jokes.
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07.22.2011 - 09:01 | Cassave
It says "kantana" on the DVD cover??? Shouldn't that spell "katana"?
Great review Brain...and I'm glad Lupa was there to supervise the fart jokes.
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07.22.2011 - 19:08 | BATZARRO
I wonder if it's related to Cantana, the lesbian from Street Fighter: THe Legend of Lana Lang.
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07.22.2011 - 09:10 | UKAlex
Jeebus, Film Brain, stop elongating all your wooords!
Love your reviews, though! *Swoon.
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07.22.2011 - 09:44 | Locoma
:D
I feel like a kid on christmas every time you update one of your Seagal reviews since they air his straight-to-video movies a lot on cable. It's really a treat seeing these being dissected by film brain. Thanks! :D
And this one reminds me of "Executive Decision" (1996): My dad and I went to see that movie just of Seagal and he's barely 15 minutes on it. Lol.
Keep it up with the show, it's great! I've been watching it for years and it's still fresh.
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07.22.2011 - 09:54 | LevelUpLeo
11:52 - I think the Vampire was there all along hiding over the bowl with the door close. Though, that does make me ask why it waited that long before attacking and why the two guys didn't sweep the room before letting their guard down...
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07.22.2011 - 10:20 | Draggonslayer26how many
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07.22.2011 - 10:26 | sweetvixenellie
from the looks of it if you took out all the stock footage and footage ripped from other films. We would have enough for a single episode of a tv serial.
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07.22.2011 - 10:26 | alexthed
I was surprised that you didn't do the voice-dub joke, but then I remembered that joke doesn't work when there's no voice-dubbing from Segal.
Also, you need to do more Rock impressions!
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07.22.2011 - 10:31 | Mr.Evil
And now Seagal is ruining vampire/zombie movies. He must be stopped.
Thoughts:
- Vampombies? How about Vombies? Zampires? Crazy Mixed-up Creatures That Used To Be Alive But Now Are Zombie/Vampires?
- More farting, please - preferably as a soundtrack.
- So guns work, but they stick to swords. Seriously, after any zombie apocayplse, America won't run out of ammo for a good decade. We're that crazy over guns.
- I think I get it now. Somebody was bored one day and said, "You know what? Let's base our movie on that video game, Left 4 Dead, but throw in a bit of I Am Legend to class it up. Also, Seagal... he's cheap these days, isn't he?"
Great review.
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07.22.2011 - 11:13 | TrencherI watched until the fartjokes..
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07.22.2011 - 12:04 | Draggonslayer26more
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07.22.2011 - 13:32 | GweskoyenI know the comment system is highly complex and difficult to comprehend (/sarcasm), but instead of spamming the comment section with one-word-posts, you could do this: When you post a comment, you should notice that under your post there appears a new option called "edit". So if you want to correct a misspelled word, click on edit and change your post. Also, please use punctuation.
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