HATE! HAAAAAATE! This movie makes me physically ill. Somebody please stop Michael Bay.

I honestly hate Michael Bay. He's the worst director in all of Hollywood. I'm not sure who is worse, him or Uwe-man....

I would agree if it weren't for M. Night Shyamalan...

and George Lucas...

and Joel Schumacher...

and Brett Ratner...

and Roland Emmerich...

and (etc)



...God, I wish I could agree with you more.

M. Night actually has one or two good flicks. The rest suck, but he still has a t least two good ones.

Lucas has Star Wars (the 1st 3, not the newer crap)

Schumacher has "The Lost Boys"

Ratner has "Rush Hour 1-2" (I discount 3 because, quite honestly, it was sub-par fan service, and nothing more), "After the Sunset" and "Prison Break (pilot)"

Emmerich has "Stargate" (1997 movie, and a personal fav. due to my love of the franchise is spawned), "Independence Day" (not the best story, but a classic alien invasion flick good for a lazy Sunday afternoon) and "Universal Soldier"

Now Uwe....we do not speak of that dickhead.

But Micheal Bay.....that man no only has nothing credible to his name, he has also managed to DESTROY something that actually was credible.

In effect, Bay is, bar none, the worst director in Hollywood, due to his craptastic "repertoire" AND his ability to destroy something that was already good.

The other guys only have bad movies, they hardly ruined anything that wasn't theirs to begin with.

Edit:
But with what M. Night did to Avatar, he's in a damn close second place for that title.

Didn't Bay direct The Rock. That's not a bad film. Certainly much better than anything else he's directed.

The Rock was an okay film. Certainly was made better by the presence of Connery and Cage....but I'd stop short of calling it great. It was an average action flick from the 90's with slightly more intelligence than was expected at the time.

Nothing to scoff at, but nothing to behold either.

Agreed though, The Rock seems to be the only good thing to come out of Bay's head since....wait for it...ever.

*Looks at the title "The Rock" and wonders how many of the younglings are confusing that for the wrestler*

Schumacher has done several movies which at least I find very good. Falling Down, Phone Booth, A Time to Kill, The Client... People keep bringing up how atrocious his Batman movies were, but he's not a bad director overall.

Bay's movies are actually watchable, even if it's only for mindless fun. Boll's movies should be outlawed by the Geneva Convention.

What's with everyone's hatred over this film. I love it. I love the story, the action, the plot and the backstory. Yes, I agree that some of the characters are a annoying (I think of the twins as an experiment that didn't came out as expected), but it's not ALL bad. It's decent, all the films are decent (I can get past the goofy parts), and I'm looking forward to see "Dark of the Moon." In the midnight premiere, when the ending credits started, the audience at my local theatre applaued loudly. Also, It's just a movie, not a healthcare bill.

BTW, Michael Bay is god compared to Uwe Boll$h!t.

The problem with this film is, there are exactly two groups of people, those who hate it, and those who love it.

Lets start with those that love it:
They are young and/or ignorant of the original franchise. As such, they haven't a fucking CLUE as to what the real story behind Transformers actually is. This allows them to love that shit that Micheal Bay tries to peddle as a good Transformers movie. Ignorance, for that crowd, is truly bliss.

Now, for the crowd that HATES Micheal Bay's rendition of Transformers: I am a part of this group, as are MANY OTHERS who grew up either watching the original series, or re-runs of the original series, as well as the 1986 movie "The Transformers: The Movie." The problem this group has with Bay's version of the franchise is that it doesn't follow canon. It hardly even TRIES to ELUDE to canon. Bumblebee not talking and using the radio to communicate with "Sam" was the closest thing to canonical correctness that Bay got right. Other than that, he completely fucked up what was already a good and well established franchise.

So yeah, if you wonder why people hate Bay and his "Transformers" movies so much, that's pretty well the jist of it right there.

I've been a Transformers fan since I first watched "Generation 2" on sindication, and the animated movie, when I was in the 2nd grade, and I became a bigger fan when "Beast Wars" first came out. Also, when the other TV series came out, I was becoming a transformers expert, and when these movies came out, it was a dream came true, because I've always wondered what these characters would be and look like in live-action, and Michael Bay, Steven Spielberg, Paramount Pictures, and Hasbro did not disapoint me.

*sigh*

You're one of the few. I grew up on the old re-runs of the original series and Beast Wars myself.

While I recognize that your opinion is your own, it still seems to me that you were looking for a CGI fest, rather than a well written, cohesive, and all together well rounded story. In terms of "looking good" Bay did not disappoint.

But in terms of a well done story that either stays true to the original material, or AT LEAST has a well done story that stands on it own.....Bay failed miserably.

Honestly, to get the best of both worlds, those being well done SFX & good story telling.....Peter Jackson would have been then preferable choice to do Transformers. His status is big enough to get the needed funding, and his ability to tell the story correctly is actually well established.

Bay should be limited to "Go Daddy" Superbowl commercials and "Doritos" commercials. No intelligence needed for any of that stuff.

Okay, I'll stop arguing.

It's a live action version of giant robots that fight.

Of course it was going to be a "CGI fest".

People wanted the robots, not the dumb humans.

Well that's the damn problem. People DID want the robots, correct. We ALL did. Instead, we got some bullshit about Shia La Bouf's character needing to go through some "development" and thus at least HALF of the screen time was focused on his awkward facial expressions, him running yelling or sweating.

I mean honestly, was I supposed to be watching "Transformers", or "Even Stevens: The Action Drama?"

The thing is, the original series was no way infallible, you're right about that, but in terms of a decent story, ability to TELL that story, and STAY ON FUCKING TARGET...it, AND it's non-canonical 1986 movie offspring did a MUCH better job.

I mean, it's fucking intergalactic giant robots from space that fight each other. I don't know HOW someone fucks that up, but apparently Micheal Bay does.

I hate this movie for its nonexistent character development, bad acting, train wreck plot and directing, and comedic relief douchebaggery. I really couldn't have cared less whether it was in or out of canon.

I didn't like G1 Transformers. I found it incredibly stupid.

People talk about illogical things: see Optimus Prime's randomly appearing trailer for example.

The 1986 Transformers movie also had flaws, and so did the series. That series is in no way infallible.

The movies were not based on the comic or TV show canon in the first place.

"The movies were not based on the comic or TV show canon in the first place."

That's hardly an excuse to fuck the franchise up THIS badly. I mean, even the Japanese remakes, screwed up as they were, SOMEHOW managed to keep the basic spirit of the series going, even if they were completely off base.

I've seen non-canonical off shoots do REALLY well. Hell, the Stargate SG-1 series was not actually canon in reference to the 1994 movie (the creators even state as much) but it (the series) did VERY well. So in regard to canonical correctness, Micheal Bay has no excuse there.

The simple fact is, Bay done fucked up what is otherwise a simple plot. Good Robots versus Bad Robots, from space, fighting on earth. Now tell me, why in the blue donkey hell did we need Shia La Bouf for that?

No, I have to disagree. There are lots of people who neither love nor hate Transformers 2, myself included. There are fun and exciting parts, but there are also extremely annoying, stupid, and/or offensive parts. I can watch it, but I do not love it. Of course, I never watched Transformers as a kid.

Well, I'm a bit broad in my groupings. I only see two groups, the haters or the lovers. If you're not a hater, then I'll throw you in with the lovers of this movie, even if you aren't one.

Normally, I'm not so bullheaded. But when it comes to killing a part of my childhood like this, I don't exactly see any possible "gray area" as it were.

I hate the jokes of this movie,the twins and the way is treated the death of Optimus.

I also like DW videos about this movie.

PS:and Megan Fox Sucks.

Oh God, I remember this... my friends convinced me to see it with them in the theatres. The only thing I gained from this movie was an appreciation for the beauty of Megan Fox and the knowledge that my friends secretly hate me.

The first one is a guilty pleasure but this is just bad. TOO MANY PLOT-HOLES AND UNNECESSARY CHARACTERS!!! Bay should have waited after the strike to let the writers finish the script.

"Bay should have waited after the strike to let the writers finish the script."

Except strikes don't have a definite end date. Not unless Bay got Paramount to make a deal ASAP.

The strike didn't last long(Only 3 months) and the movie started production after the strike and yet they went with Bay's script.

At least the effects were decent.

They were the best part of the movie.

The were the ONLY part of that movie.

Saying that there is a "best" part of that movie is kinda like winning the Special Olympics...in the end, all participants are still retarded.

Ohh man, did I hate this movie, I'm happy to see you tear this movie a new one
Unfortunately, my mom (an avid(?)) Transformers fan loved the movie

Finally, someone who shares my opinion of Megan Fox, her beauty matches her acting, bland

I grew up with Beast Wars & Beast Machines I have no real connection to the G1 Transformers. Yet even I feel Micheal Bay has committed an actual crime against cinema with these movies.

I grew up watching G1 in the 90s before Beast Wars and to be honest, Beast Wars was the better one. Small cast for each side lead to better character development and every episode didn't felt like a 30 minute commercial for a new Autobot or Decepticon toy. Though the CGI looks bad now.

As a child of the 90's when Beast Wars and Beast Machines were airing I never really saw the first installment of the Transformers. As far as the films go... well, I will admit to liking this movie as well as the first film. Both are guilty pleasures to me, but unlike the first film where it was a good blockbuster flick this one has too many plot holes, confusing fights to follow, worse jokes than the first film, and really stupid characters. However even with all of that, I still enjoyed the movie. I don't go to see these films for the hummer, thank god, nor do I go to see these films for Megan Fox. I agree with Film Brain when he said that he didn't get the appeal of her. Sure one could say she is attractive, but what does she bring to the overall plot? Nothing, absolutely nothing. She is just there to get the males and if possible the lesbians in the audience to get all hot and bothered. Also as a male myself, I find it offensive that, from what I've heard from my peers in my area, my sex only went to see these films just to see Megan Fox's body and now that she has left the project they don't plan on seeing the new film now. That only proves that my sex only thinks about one thing when it comes to women when they say something as profoundly stupid as that. Besides, if the male demographic want to see her body so badly, then look up a picture of her on the internet. Chances are you might find something. That's not to say the new piece of "Eye Candy" won't or will do any of that stuff either. Hell she might even play an important role in the next film other than "I'm the helpless girl who can't fend for herself." But knowing Micheal Bay that will happen anyways. No, I go to these movies to see Optimus and the Autobots fight Megatron and the Decpticons and so far I've gotten my money's worth. From what I can tell the next one will have more to do with the Transformers than the last two installments... of course that could be wishful thinking on my part, but chances are I will enjoy the next one anyways. Also, good job so far Film Brain on ripping into this trash, but then again I do like this film just like Pirates 3. I guess I'm very easy to please when it comes to action movies, even though that one was stupid also.

Well, at least you have the balls to admit that you went to see this movie for the action and not for any plot inclusive or plot heavy elements.

At the very least, you knew what you were getting into, and thus what you were going for, and you're not trying to pretend it was anything more than that.

Myself, I went to the Transformers movie hoping for some good story, a semi-attractive plot, and, yes, some good action scenes. Well...I got one out of three...

The next time I went to see the sequel, I knew how badly Bay could fuck this shit up...but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I thought "hey, maybe he heard the fan reviews of the first movie and made the needed corrections....maybe he done did better...."

And then I saw the "Revenge of the Fallen" and realized that Micheal Bay is incapable of telling a decent story w/o having to resort to racial stereotypes and sexual appeal to help carry his crap.

But y'know what they say "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." I got fooled a second time, and learned my lesson. That being: Micheal Bay is NOT the director I should expect a good movie from, other than action scenes.

If ever I want to watch a well written, cohesive Transformers movie, I'll watch the 1986 release (plus it's got that awesome opening sequence with Stan Bush's "The Touch"). If I want a sex driven action fest....I'll look up Bay's "rendition."

Still, props to you for admitting what you were expecting to see and not trying to defend it for more than it was. Like I said, it takes balls to admit that.

how anyone can not rush at the screen and start smashing it when those twins showed up is beyond me. I still can't watch the first one because of this movie, if those twins are in film 3, i will post a very angry youtube video like everyone else

Don't worry: as a result of the public outcry, the twin robots will not appear in the next movie.

Or will they? Ehh...they'll probably will be killed in the opening scene.

According to Wikipedia, they are killed by Sentinel Prime in the comic adaptation.

Once again, a video that really shows that you know your stuff when it comes to movies, Film Brain. The way you disect characters and plot can be quite enjoyable. I am also not above having a good review change my mind about a movie or game.

However, I have an issue with what you say about these "calculated Fangasm moments". I mean, it's probably true, but I really don't like the name you've given it. It's an awesome action sequence in a movie based on pop culture source material. Isn't that the entire point?
Sure, movies can more, but aren't you dismissing action scenes in general with that kind of talk?

On the other hand, I have to agree with you that these scenes are among the few things I actually like about this movie. Because I'm definetly not in it for the characters or the plot. -_-

So yeah, maybe you're right about this movie only working for some people because of "calculated fangasm moments", but it makes me question how many other movies I enjoy because of things like this.

Hey Filmbrain nice review. Anyway, I have to agree with you on alot of the things you said here. When they "killed" Optimus I really did have flash backs to the 1986 movie. However I am ashamed to admit that I did like the fact that we actually got to see the fight between Optimus Prime and Megatron unlike the first one where Micheal Bay concentrated on Sam's face the entire time... You frickin' moron! Cause yeah we came to see your movie so we can look at that guys face during a fight scene!

How could you enjoy the fight between prime and megatron? I hated that part of the movie.
It's like, in the first film, both prime and megatron were on the same level pretty much. Here, you see prime taking on three decepticons at the same time, including megatron!! When/why did megatron become so weak?
Don't even get me started on the anticlimax which was the fight vs the fallen.

Do you still think Inglorious Basterds is worse? not meaning to open old wounds but is is still what you think?

So, suppose I was one of the people who liked Bay's first Transformers film. Since the sequel was made under unusual and unfortunate circumstances that are unlikely to be repeated, and even if Megan Fox was an asset she would hardly qualify as irreplaceable, are you saying that it's very possible I would like Transformers 3?

I like the first one too and hoping the third one is a lot better than this mess.

A few mistakes in this review:

#1 The Autobots chasing Sideways WERE named as the Arcee twins.

#2 Optimus Prime transforms back and forth in the Shanghai chase because his vehicle mode is the fastest way to catch up to Demolishor. He then transforms and jumps on him to take him down.

#3 As for the count of Decepticons who went underwater to rescue Megatron, it was correct. The humans detected 5 Constructicons jumping down, and a 6th was deployed (the tiny spider-like robot who ordered them to cannibalize one for parts). So, you have 6 total, one gets killed, leaving 5 + Megatron. That's a correct total of 6 Decepticons being detected on their way to the surface.

Plus the box with Wheelie being on the ground happen because Megan Fox threw it at the Pretender(Or something) but miss and went through the window.

That still doesn't quite make sense, since this is meant to be far away from the dorm Sam is meant to be in (remember, they go into the library). However that one is a good pont, so I'm going to cut it out.

After watching your review a second time(I haven't seen the movie since it came out), your right, sorry for the mistake.

1) I'm not saying they weren't named, I'm saying the robots end up being interchangable and I didn't know many until I looked them up on Wikipedia (so I did know their names).

2) He doesn't even seem that far away from Demolisher. It's more an excuse for a grand entrance than anything else.

3) "The Doctor" is tiny and wouldn't be picked up by sonar. He is also frequently seen hitching a ride on other Decepticons anyway due to his size.

Wow, could that "more than meets the eye" line be a more blatant attempt to shoehorn in the Transformers catchphrase?
(And I'm guessing Mathew didn't pick that up because, as he admitted, he didn't watch the original cartoon, so that's forgivable.)

You're right about the opinion thing but I want to point out a few things:

5:00- It's a decepticon, the known evil robots, near a highly populated area. What if it's planning something to do later.

6:03- Yeah it's not stealthy but Demolisher is already roaring down the highway. So I don't think stealth is a big issue anymore. But I do agree it is kinda pointless.

7:00- Not a problem with the review, it's just that I bet my mom is going to act like that when I go off to college.

that's all really. I still like the movie though. Mudflap and (was it Skit) are painfully racist. It was a good review and I will watch part 2.

i must be the only one that didnt see them as racist, but i too do like the movie if only for decent action and it does get a laugh out of me.
and really i think the G1 fans will hate these movies no matter what, i've not seen g1 except on youtube, but i dont hold these movie to be the original transformers because i believe the movie and the source material shouldn't rely on each other and be two independent things. (something the later harry potter films are failing at) so it's a guilty pleasure.

i actually retract this whole comment, after seeing the 1986 G1 film....FUCK this movie and fuck michael bay!

If the old cartoon was supposed to be about sentient robots, then the director was bad for having a lot of human focus.

Compromised integrity:
----------------------
*Transformers: Fans are a tiny portion of people who will see this, so it needs lots of human focus.
*CGI remakes of 80s cartoons: Doesn't matter how shit the story & script are, because we say kids won't watch oldfashioned cell animation.
MTV & VH1: We still show SOME music.
*Animal Planet: Almost complete human focus, but those people must either own or be talking about animals.
*Discovery: We should be debunking ghosts & hauntings, but we show this shit on all of our channels.
*Cartoon Network: Who said everything we show HAS to be a cartoon?
*Syfy: Wrestling is fake but not fantasy, therefore must be sci-fi.

Would you believe "Men in Black 3: The Transformers Conspiracy?"

*Weed in Hollywood: Makes you feel hyper, invincible, destructive, euphoric, & not hungry.
*Weed in real life: Makes you feel lazy, unmotivated, unfocused, content, & hungry.

The animation may LOOK okay, but it's full of logic fail. Machines that large should have deeper voices, move much slower, have loud consistent mechanical noises, & the environment should react to their presence; the ground should crack at their feet & the buildings & trees should shake every step. Did I mention that they move way too fast? then again, robots should not feel, have feelings, or emote.

They're alien beings from a distant planet created by a mysterious power. They're as advanced beyond our machines as we are beyond the sea anemone. It wouldn't make sense for them to sound and move like an under-lubricated construction crane.

Actually, Lika has a point there. I mean yes, the mechanical advancements would prohibit loud sounds whilst they move, but they still are several TONS of steel and other metal that are walking around most of the time. Not to get all nerdy here, but when you focus 5-10 TONS onto a surface area that is rather small (such as a size 90 foot)the pressure from that focused amount of weight would be enough to crack even the heartiest of asphalt. Thus, every time they take a step, a new pothole should be born.

But even those logical oversights might be forgivable if we didn't have to spend half the movie waiting for Shia La Bouf to get out of the damn camera so we could see robots shoot each other.(damn shame there wasn't more REAL content, but hell....this IS Micheal Bay we're talking about here)

After you say that line at the end of the "what to expect from part two, part two", there's a single frame of someone. However, I can't manage to pause at that exact moment. Who is it? Bay? One of the TGWTG gang? If it's the latter, who is it?

Listen to what Mat is saying juuuuuuust before that appears.

All 3 transformers "movies" are probably the worst 'thing' ever created by human being. Mainly thanks to incomprehensibly tasteless man-child known as Michael Bay.

awesome review, you're hitting every nail on the head, Film Brain. can't wait for part 2.

and yea, this movie made me sick to my stomach when i watched it in theatres. it's a shame too, i though the first one was pretty good. i didn't even want to watch this review, only because the movie was THAT bad. i've only had that happen to me one other time, and that was with Birdemic. and to be honest, i'd much, MUCH rather watch Birdemic than this putrid insult to the Transformers franchise.

This "film" is detrimental to society. The fact that it was the highest grossing film of summer 2009, and the fact that Skids & Mud Flap didn't cause a Civil Rights Shit Storm prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the gene pool of Earth is in dire need of chlorine!

Also, being an extra terrestrial myself, I should point out (without braking the Prime Directive and getting myself in serious trouble) that the existence of aliens wouldn't really disprove the existence of God, rather, it would simply prove that your understanding of life and the Universe is pitiably limited (which it is).

I actually really enjoyed the first one. Yeah, it was fairly mindless, but it was fun, and epic, and I'm digging my own grave here aren't I? What can I say? I'm a child of the 80's and 90's; I grew up with the Transformers cartoons and comics. I really liked the first live action Transformers outing.

The second however, was terrible. I mean wow, that was painful.

I've heard people say it's "one of the worst films of all time". Look, it's bad, horrible even, but not THAT horrible. Hell, it wasn't even the worst film I saw that year (that'd be either Halloween II or Antichrist). Still, it did suck.

What is with the picture?

Those three autobots that transform into motorbikes are Arcee, Chromia and Elita-1. Only female transformers in movie so they don't get much screen time.

So Bay is a robo-sexist?

I couldn't agree more.
I saw the movie in a huge cinema in the first row.... and with the constand cameraspinning I got more seasick then in cloverfield.

anyway... what is up with 23:05 ?
For a blink of the eye there is a picture of some guy. What's that about? O.o

(screenshot: http:// img706.imageshack.us/ img706/9739/ strangeguy.jpg .. as always, take the spaces out)

It's Michael Bay. It's answering the question I just stated. It's a little chuckle for those who can catch it.

It's nice to see how time has effected your opinion on the movie. Opinions obviously are important, but time does change a lot of things.

Like yourself, I was a child of the 90s. The Transformers I watched was Beast Wars, so I didn't have the affection for the old cartoon. In fact, I'd consider it pretty cheesy. So the first movie was fairly enjoyable to me. Some really cringe-worthy parts but good robot designs I thought.

Revenge left me feeling pretty cold. After the first, I had got interested. Checked out some old episodes of different incarnations. Was excited to see what robots could be used. Squeed when I saw Acree before feeling left cold since she only has one line. Less said about the twins the better...

i completely agree with what film brain says in this review as it does suffer from not explaining much of the plot that well, some humongous plot holes (seriously, how can the government cover up 2 cities being trashed, several business having the Autobots land on them when they came 2 earth AND a little girl almost crushed by Optimus) and in fact some of the plot points are actually developed of screen in the transformers comic (reign of s
Starscream) but i think the main problem is that i don't think bay completely understands the whole transformers thing.
Point the 1st: all transformers, or at least most of them, are not meant to look different from each other as they are from the same race. what i mean by this is that you can tell this in the movie because of how they are coloured and how they look (autobots- bright colours & humanoid faces and bodies, decepticons- greyish colours & insectoid/ bestial appearance)
Point 2#: a point that most people say is that bay insists on showing more people than actually transformers.
Point 3 of ?: the over emphasis/ love of the us military. iv got nothing against them just wish he wouldn't cram them into every shot.
this is a rant but im a massive transformer fan from the 90s (25 and i still collect them) its just these things really bug me (even though i did like the 1st film.

the military thing bugs me to, but more because of how poorly they are portrayed. it's like Bay never hires a military consultant. its all nitpicky shit, but it really bugs me.

one thing that really pissed me off was the opening seen in China. the whole time in the theater im sitting there thinking "where the fuck is the Chinese government, and why the fuck are they just letting U.S. special forces run around and blowing shit up"

after that i knew it would be a lllooonnnggg movie.

How people think: I like this movie, and my taste in movies reflects me. If you say the movie is bad you are saying that I have bad taste and thus I am bad. Some people view attacking a movie/game/book as a personal attack.

Also: no reference to the horrible color saturation. Teal and Orange EVERYWHERE. Look it up.
8:06 24:04 24:09
It looks like very white guy just got a Jersey Shore tan, they look like freaks.
http://s3.amazonaws.com/ kym-assets/entries/icons/ original/000/004/166/ eTDM4.jpg?1287289044

About the dropping of Optimus Prime changing in the air, well, when you already have Decepticons roaming the streets and Autobots fighting them (because I doubt they just crash into each other in car form), I don't think any of the operation is supposed to be stealthy. When I see a sentient robot outside my window giving me the finger and punching through the walls I seriously expect the military to arrive ASAP.

Probably the comic relief scenes were written by Bay and the plot holes suggested by the other writers who were in solidarity cahoots with the striking writers :D

On the drugs effect, I think the writers knew how pot works, but if they accurately portrayed it they would not get a PG-13 rating because we all know in these kind of films aimed at younger audiences an Aspirin must have the effect of a jar of sleeping pills while heroin, just looking at it causes instant death :P .... But I guess a huge lot of 14-15 year olds will be like "Yeah, I call bullshit on that pot scene."

I don't get why they couldn't just dump Megatron in a volcano? The temperature of the lava should be sufficient to melt whatever metal the Decepticons and Autobots are made of. But instead, "Nooo, let's just throw the fucker into the sea and hope he'll rust in peace. I'm positively suuure nothing will backfire." I hope that asshole got fired.

and i cannot stand the mudthefarking twins or the constant adlibing, it just show lazy writing and stretches the film out even more.
rant over now, mega lol.