Why is it always the fattest women who thinks they are the hottest woman in the room.
Fat Slags
Written by Film Brain Friday, 01 April 2011 01:14
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Comments (149)
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04.01.2011 - 01:37 | SomeRandomGeek
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04.01.2011 - 02:30 | LikaLaruku
No, it's the bitchiest women (or the one with the most plastic surgery) who insists she's the hottest.
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04.01.2011 - 02:31 | Devilfish
I've been on the internet since Netscape was still a thing, and I've never seen someone miss the point so completely. Well done sir. Well done.
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04.01.2011 - 04:23 | SomeRandomGeekI, therefore, must apologize to all of the internet for my epic fail comment. I was wrong. I completely suck.
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04.01.2011 - 14:04 | Shadowflame66
The sheer awesomeness of your avatar pic makes up for it, no worries.
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04.01.2011 - 14:17 | Sharkerbob
Well, all those layers of flab do tend to assist in conserving body heat.
Nyuk nyuk nyuk!
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04.01.2011 - 17:51 | ladydiskette
Wow, FB was right about not all British Comedy was like Monty Python or Blackadder.
This is horrible, honestly who could ever show thier face in public after starring in this crappy movie!?!? 0__0
How can someone who directed Red Dwarf one of my favorite shows be connected to this trainwreck? It boggles the mind!
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05.08.2011 - 03:08 | Sheranda
I know! These jokes are crude, overused, and painfully predictable! To be fair, not all American comedy is like National Lampoon or Three's Company.
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I was fooled too. I paid money to watch Eragon, Epic Movie, and because of my two friends; Twilight.
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04.02.2011 - 15:06 | Tactlesscat
WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT ERRORGON!
He will get to it, when he gets to it, IF he gets to it!
You are borderline OBSESSIVE.
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06.07.2012 - 21:05 | redjirachiUsually they have the BBW status. Fat Slags does not
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04.01.2011 - 01:56 | TomNickles
Anthony Head NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
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04.01.2011 - 03:30 | ArtticWitchica
Amen to that!
I about cried when I saw Anthony Head.
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04.01.2011 - 07:11 | moonloon
This.
WHY, ANTHONY HEAD? WHY?
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04.01.2011 - 09:04 | e33lafSo very true...Oh God Anthony, no matter what they paid you, it was so not worth it. You are so much better then this.
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04.06.2011 - 10:22 | Vee
My thoughts exactly.
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04.01.2011 - 02:00 | GLKnight
This is obnoxiously terrible. And yes, I have actually seen it. But, my boy, I have some films I MUST introduce you to, sometime.
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05.08.2011 - 03:41 | SherandaMerely watching this review made me feel nauseous. This movie makes Bio-Dome look like a light-hearted comedy. I feel so sorry for you, Mathew Buck. Not only did you actually watch this horrid abomination, you reside in the country that spawned it! I'm feeling so many negative emotions right now, I can't word things properly. I have nothing against Great Britain. I shouldn't judge it by just this movie.
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04.01.2011 - 02:18 | Jackass Mask
This reminds me of something...something not as bad, but close.
B.A.P.S
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04.01.2011 - 02:31 | LarieOh man, I laughed so hard, and obviously not because of this "movie" but because of your priceless reactions. :D
I love your accent, by the way. Better than that Northern one!
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04.01.2011 - 02:33 | DevilfishYou know, besides all the obvious wrongness, I can't help but wonder why the hell someone would decide to make a movie called Fat Slags when those are the best fat suits they can afford. And here I was thinking Big Momma's House was the lowest of the low in fat women "comedy".
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04.01.2011 - 02:58 | LikaLarukuDon't forget Mrs. Doubtfire.
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11.18.2012 - 01:42 | DMasterYeah...considering that Big Momma's House actually spawned [i]sequels[/i]...I don't quite think you can consider that movie the worst comedy based around fat women ever, even assuming Fat Slags didn't exist.
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04.01.2011 - 02:43 | gadeel
"ARE YOU MAD?!" Best line in the film, and sums it up pretty well.
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04.01.2011 - 02:45 | WarxePB
Seriously? They made this movie? Was there anyone who was demanding this movie?
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04.01.2011 - 02:46 | Mr.Whatever
I vote this movie be stricken from reality.
Alas, poor dignity, I knew him, Anthony Head.
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04.01.2011 - 02:50 | Kaibaman
My god this film is O_O Terrible Hell I don't blame Film Brain screaming at this monstrosity.
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04.01.2011 - 02:56 | LikaLarukuOh...the roaches remind me of this MTV movie about this guy who talks to roaches. Anyone remember what it is?
Whe you brought up movie adaptations taking characters out of their environments, it unfortunately reminded me that a Smurf movie is being made....
I'll bet you HOP makes Kangaroo Jack look dignified.
My brain is tingling...feels like someone is squeezing my skull.
So according to this & Birdemic, birds, dogs, & laptops explode on impact.
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04.01.2011 - 03:38 | YeahnoThe movie you're referring to was Joe's Apartment, and it was actually, and surprisingly, a decent and honestly funny movie, given the premise and stupid source material.
Of course, I say it's "decent" for some, because there are a few small jokes that work, even though the movie is still annoying as shit for many.
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04.01.2011 - 09:55 | mumbls
Oddly enough, Joe's Apartment also starred Jerry O'Connell.
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04.01.2011 - 02:59 | Themonsean
Wait...no...what is my favorite watcher doing in this? oh Mr. Head, were is Buffy when you need her?
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04.01.2011 - 10:22 | mrrubino
What if he was in his Frank N. Furter drag? Would you watch it then?
Nonetheless, you can tell the movie is bad by the cover. No, I don't mean the bad quote, censored bar, and stupid expressions. I mean the font of the title. Name one of the many, many, many movies with a title in that font in a red box that has been any good?
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04.02.2011 - 04:06 | Michael Heide
Not Another Teen Movie.
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04.01.2011 - 03:12 | Angelic Plague
It probably won't surprise you to learn that my mouth was open in shock and disbelief for the better part of this review. I don't see how anyone could sit through this without first gouging out their own eyes and filling their ear canals with cement.
This is a horror movie. No other way to explain it. It's the very essence of dignity and decency being tortured and killed in the most gruesome manner possible.
I'm sorry FB, I really am. Just... take a week off. Go do something wholesome. Go camping, plant a garden, take an art class... anything. You need a long rest after this grueling trip through the eighth level of hell.
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04.01.2011 - 03:12 | Lakiver
Was Stanley Kubrick buried in a washing machine?
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04.01.2011 - 03:20 | ernesto79
How the hell do you get from Red Dwarf to this abomination????
I am sad for you Matthew, cant believe you watched this twice, watching the review itself hurt me enough for this weekend ^^
Great Vid, but one i probably wont watch again for a loong while :)
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04.02.2011 - 11:18 | DorknessFalls
Consider he's one of the more infamous people that drove Red Dwarf off a cliff (seasons 7 & 8 were directed by him) this movie doesn't really surprise me as one of his. He's really more of a plague on British comedy.
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04.01.2011 - 03:35 | TragicGuineaPig
I feel unclean after watching this. The filth - not even the bleach makes it go away.
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04.01.2011 - 03:37 | Deimos1984rd
That movie wasn't funny...it was just gross and disturbing...ugh sorry you had to go through that movie FB.
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04.01.2011 - 03:53 | FunkyM
My God.
I... They made Baby Geniuses. It drove the Nostalgia Critic half-crazy, and rendered him speechless.
They made Baby Geniuses 2: Superbabies. Jon Voight had a bad German Accent. MikeJ rightfully trashed it.
They made Bride Wars, a mean-spirited and confused movie, where the wrong protagonist won, if there was even supposed to be a Winner.
The problem is, these films were made in America. They weren't made in Northern England. Maybe that's the point. Because this film (Fat Slags, not the review) makes Baby Geniuses 2 look like CITIZEN FUCKING KANE! Never-ending story 3 is Never-ending story 1 in comparison! Epic Movie is... Well no, at least this one had a (mostly) semi-original plot.
There are bad movies, there are good Bad movies, and then there is the absolute SHIT that is Fat Slags.
Sir, I salute you. I salute you that you had the strength of mind, of character, to sit through this offensive, revolting, apology for an excuse of a stain of a mockery of a Movie, without once wanting to track down the producers and beat them senseless.
But yeah, it beats out Epic Movie by virtue of being British, having 2 minutes of Dolph Lundgren, and not being a series of Non-sensical Deus Ex points and Rip-offs of good movies. But only Just.
Anyway, Happy April Fools day, Mister Matthew Buck sir. And Don't have nightmares.
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04.01.2011 - 03:57 | Kirke
3 minutes into your review and I already could see this is one of the worst films in existance. I wouldn't sit through it if I got paid. You are a brave man.
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04.01.2011 - 04:03 | Shinigami
Even in April Fools Day FB is one who is being fool instead of trying to fool others.
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04.01.2011 - 04:12 | yaoinut
Hugh, no! Why, why did you subject yourself to this! You're popular, you have talent! Oh my...it hurts...
Matthew, you have my deepest sympathy. I'm sorry you had to sit through this 3 times. Please, let your sanity survive it.
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04.01.2011 - 04:41 | dennett316
Oh my God, so much fail and pay cheque cashing in one movie...it's surreal. Geri Halliwell actually appeared in something worse than Spice World, how can that be possible?
And, did Piranha 3D actually feature a callback to THIS movie by having Gerry O'Connel's penis bitten off by angry fish? It's too coincidental for it not to be a reference, how often are dicks bitten off in movies? Piranha 3D referenced the Fat Slags....I'm speechless.
And Anthony Head, the Gold Blend coffee adverts you starred in had more of a plot than this shitfest, why?? Why appear in this travesty? There's slumming it, and then there's just trying to throw a career away.
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OH DEAR GOD!!! ANTHONY STEWART HEAD IS IN THIS DRECK?!?!
I mean, I can understand oconnell being in this but head?!?!
sigh....sidenote: is the comic strip any good? just out of curiosity.
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04.01.2011 - 05:17 | Cross X. Brand
Cant wait for the sequel when FB reviews Morbidly Obese Street Walkers
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06.01.2011 - 19:51 | SherandaYou not getting it this way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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04.01.2011 - 05:56 | executor
Bäh, I think I need brainbleech now, although I have to say, the completly nonsensical bit with dog-frisbee-explosion had me laugh. The rest was...
...damn....
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04.01.2011 - 06:28 | QuestionTheMajority
As an American, you'd think I'd be unfamiliar with Fat Slags. However, I have an English friend who brought some Viz comics with him once during a visit and I had the chance to read some Fat Slags strips. I can honestly say that I can't imagine a single reason why a Fat Slags movie would be called for. The strips aren't really that funny and they're pretty much just cheap excuses for foul humor. I suppose the movie got that much right, at least.
Seriously, though. Are the Fat Slags popular enough over there that this was deserved? This seems as likely a choice for a movie adaptation as Marmaduke was over here. "Hey, remember that comic strip that nobody really likes but it won't go away? Well here it is in movie form!" I really don't get it.
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04.01.2011 - 06:28 | TBTabbyIn a way, it comforts me to know that America doesn't have a monopoly on atrociously unfunny comedies.
And I like that all bad comedies use that same style for the box art, with the title in red on a white background. It makes it easy to know which movies to avoid like the plague.
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04.01.2011 - 06:32 | David2
Okay, now I've thoroughly lost my marbles after watching this review and now I can weekno3n3oin2ojcnq; klj3nr5qo'h[o'q2infq[o' iu2cvno'wu2b43ta' wjeutbavjbuaw' je4ubte43tba with a banana peel....
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04.01.2011 - 07:01 | ShMikeYou know a movie is gonna be terrible if you can't even get real large actresses to play the roles.
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