Mega Piranha
Written by Film Brain Thursday, 28 October 2010 21:37
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Comments (175)
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10.28.2010 - 21:52 | Jackass Mask
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10.29.2010 - 14:54 | Lotus Prince
As bad as that "the land of violence and death...and death" line was:
To be fair, the subtitles are garbage, but the guy who spoke only actually said "and death" once. It's the subtitle person who's the idiot, not the actor.
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Holy crap!! Did anyone else see that? When they were talking about the gun, the "Underwater Cannon" was actually just a Nerf N-Strike Longshot CS-1 spray painted black. About 4-5 years ago, when I was 12ish, I bought one of those for like 20 bucks!
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01.04.2011 - 12:00 | CheezeFox
Yeah, I did notice that. I've always thought that would be a good idea to save money on futuristic-looking weapons, but that's something I'd expect low-to-no budget indie films to do.
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04.21.2011 - 17:52 | Sheranda
Uh... Donkey Mask? That look of disgust is actually from an earlier review.
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10.28.2010 - 21:52 | MasterSteef
Oh god The Asylum, the mecca of crappy movies...
BTW Awesome job Film Brain! :)
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10.28.2010 - 22:00 | The Coen Brothers lost brother
Mega Piranna? Mega dumb. Thank you FB
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10.28.2010 - 22:27 | Kalliemallie
Funniest FB so far for me. The movie was oh so brilliant.
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04.21.2011 - 17:53 | SherandaPlease tell me where you got this picture, Kalliemallie!
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10.28.2010 - 22:54 | xXSkellingtonXxWELL. I guess Piranhas 3D WASN'T so original an idea.
OH WAIT, it didn't have a huge piranha in it... THEY BOTH STILL SUCK!
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10.29.2010 - 06:43 | Taufiq91
Hey Piranha 3D was great.
Atleast we get to see douchebags die a horrible death.
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10.29.2010 - 11:09 | Fluffyman
Ummm this was made to rip-off Pirahna 3D.
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05.08.2011 - 21:43 | SherandaFilm Brain already said that, Fluffyman.
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05.08.2011 - 21:55 | SherandaDoes anyone know about the "Get to the chopper" song at the end?
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10.29.2010 - 21:53 | brooks101189
Actually, Piranha 3D actually had a giant one, just not as large as the suicide bombing mega Piranha
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10.28.2010 - 23:03 | MasterKirov
The Asylum? Again? Geez, how many shitty movies can one bunch of hacks make?
Oh wait...
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10.28.2010 - 23:05 | xXSkellingtonXxoh and FB, no offense or anything but if you think THAT is bad camera handling, then I assume you haven't seen a single movie directed by Michael Bay.
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10.28.2010 - 23:30 | YetAnotherGeekHe most definitely has...I think he was just accentuating the negative here, as he kinda likes some Michael Bay films (the Transformers ones, notably; remember that little fiasco? Yeah, he hopes no one does). Plus, it is quite a bit worse than Bay's stuff.
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10.29.2010 - 00:00 | xXSkellingtonXxno respect for sarcasm anymore.
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10.28.2010 - 23:18 | Davidman
You are right, they are easy targets. Please don't do another Asylum film.
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10.29.2010 - 04:26 | dennett316
Nothing wrong with giving an easy target a good kicking once in a while, keeps it varied for when he isn't going after stuff with a cult following like Equilibrium or Hudson Hawk.
One thing FB isn't and that's be afraid to tackle some popular movies.
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10.28.2010 - 23:22 | TrencherIt just stop at the 8 minutes mark and I have to refresh the browser. This has happened a lot after blip started to fill up its videos with ads. Its like they are trying to get us to watch the ads again and again.
The first eight minutes were very funny though.
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10.29.2010 - 03:53 | Cross X. Brand
I prefer Tiffany when she did that playboy shoot a couple years back
...somebody should upload a pic, maybe...
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04.21.2011 - 17:57 | SherandaIf she was naked in that shoot, don't expect to see it on this site. No nudity allowed on TGWTG or Blip.
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10.28.2010 - 23:28 | YetAnotherGeekAnother favorite, Film Brain. Though to be honest, the CG does look a bit better than last time...a bit.
I really do hope this is not the end of the Asylum, though; you are our go-to guy for it. But hey, whatever works, I suppose.
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10.28.2010 - 23:33 | Critic Fan JillAh Asylum, will they ever stop giving you material?
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10.28.2010 - 23:43 | Isaac232
...I am so glad I took this off my list of things to review. I knew it was going to be stupid but...my god...this movie amazes me. Man-eating pirahnas that kill more than usual are one thing, but man-eating pirahnas that constantly grow throughout the movie, crashing into buildings and doing all sorts of stupid s***? I'm...just gonna lay down now.
Great review Film Brain...and thank you for sparing me of looking at...that.
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10.28.2010 - 23:44 | ChaoticRenegade
I feel like I am watching a bad FMV game on the 3DO
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10.28.2010 - 23:44 | MaxFan
Wow, I expected more of a movie named Mega Piranha. Wait, no I didn't.
My brain still dies more every time I see it spelled SyFy :(
Being a diplomat means boating with half-naked women? Sign me up!
What's that? Also involves being eaten by piranhas? Forget that, then.
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Man, this movie is garbage! The SyFy (then "Sci-Fi") channel used to be a good little channel that catered to cult audiences that not only could you watch a lot of decent sci-fi programming, but anime, and the occasional B-movie. But now......the channel's become nothing more than a metaphorical cemetery for people that were at the height of their popularity in the '80s and '90s, trying to revive/(re-)legitimize their dead careers (plus it has reality shows AND WRESTLING...like we don't get enough of that everywhere else)! I mean, just look at "Pterodactyl"! It starred COOLIO of all people (he was very popular during the '90s)! Maybe I shouldn't be surprised if Jodie Sweetin showed up in one of their films.
There was a time I can laugh at all of their films' cheesiness but I can't do it as much anymore and soon I'll stop altogether. I mean, just seeing people from my childhood I near-admired end up in films like this (and other SyFy films) is depressing.
I have read online that had a lot of people jokingly say that SyFy was short for "Syphilis For You"...I understand the reasoning behind that now more than ever.
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11.01.2010 - 09:15 | ARabidStar WarsFan
Hey look on the brightside....One day Justin Beiber or Hanna Montana will end up in one of those movies and mostly like he or she will die in a Very Very Cheesy and fake looking yet oh so enjoyable and fitting way. At least I sure hope so.
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10.28.2010 - 23:55 | OddJackJS
Wow that was a fun review. And it was an amazing movie. I saw it this summer with a group. And you have to laugh through it to push out the bad of this flick.
This film is like going to a carnival and seeing the tattooed lady work two of her tattoos to make out. You try to look away and leave...but you just can't. Shudder.
You really don't realize just how special a movie you have until the first piranha cannonballs the city. That is an unbelievable sight. I have to assume as they as far from water as they seem to land that those fish are dead. And what I remember from watching was wondering how they were now able to intake salt water. But you are right, compared to the other crimes against science in this movie. That is small.
What really dug into me was just why were they making a B-line for the US? Why straight at Florida? Why not head up the coast of South America, or down the coast, or, heck, head at Africa? Why straight at Florida? Did they get some tourist brochures before there metamorphosis, and promised themselves a Spring Break experience? WHY?!
Looking at what Asylum produces, I can see why you would want to stay away. ...But maybe you could look at there Sherlock Holmes? See if it makes you want to jump into the path of a giant piranha.
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10.28.2010 - 23:55 | Vent
Whew.... I have a feeling the guys at Asylum consider their movie a success when the gross exceeds the cost of the amount of drugs they ingested during the process.
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10.28.2010 - 23:57 | OddJackJSPlus with the use of Tiffany and Debbie Gibson, and there habit of "borrowing" from others, I am surprise we are not seeing a new D-Wars. Diva Wars. Where 2 heavily mutated and giant ex-Divas battle. Of course they would have to end up in the water, swatting subs in half, and knocking out cheap cgi copters.
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Oh, Film Brain, you're so cute. Nice job.
It's like, anytime they encountered a plothole, they shouted down to the blind CGI monkey: "WE NEED A PIRANHA THIS BIG! MORE FISH!! FILL ALL THE HOLES WITH FISH!!!
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10.29.2010 - 00:07 | QueensNYC2021wow, not proofreading the word "colonel", naming a character Grady for a guy who played a Brady, and another 80's one hit wonder, how much lower can the Asylum go.
To me, those gunshots that the helicopter fired look more like 8-bit graphics than realistic CGI fire.
And, just wow at Tiffany's acting. Her rant at 12:20 looks like she's reading her lines right off the script.
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I am sorry, but I had to giggle and then laugh at the weapons that the Navy Seals have are the Nerf N-Strike Longshot CS-6, only spray painted black. I never thought that that would be used in a movie outside of low-buget ones made by kids.
Excellent review. =)
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04.21.2011 - 18:10 | SherandaHere's something I learned about the Nostalgia Critic's gun: it's really a BB gun with the orange tip painted black. See? Even an "Internet celebrity who watches cartoons and shouts obscenities" tries harder than this entire film company!
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10.29.2010 - 01:05 | TragicGuineaPig
Hey Matthew:
Where do I need to go to school to learn how to be a professional whiny British douchebag?
Also, [PILOT HEAD A SPLODE!!]
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10.29.2010 - 00:14 | brick mooncode
Asylum IS getting better, you just watch. Someday they'll be the next Toho, or at the very least, the next Kadokawa Daiei.
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10.29.2010 - 00:35 | TheBlackMage
I have a hard time keeping up with the Asylum. They release so much crap interlaced with one or two halfway decent rip off movies once in a while.
But I got to say just from your review Brain that this movie looks GREAT!!! I always love stupid horror movies that are so silly, so ridiculous and non-gory that I can just watch them for a harmless laugh.
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10.29.2010 - 00:18 | AeriegrinDid anyone else notice...there "Ultimate underwater rifle" was just a NERF Longshot painted black?? They can't even make their own Props.
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10.29.2010 - 00:28 | OddJackJSWell they did paint them. I could imagine them just leaving them as is, and taking a marker and putting a line through the word NERF. And writing above "Super Bad Ass Gun". I am surprise they splurged on paint.
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03.21.2011 - 20:48 | Forlong
You'd be surprised how many props are so cheaply made. The problem is that this movie is obviously cheap when doing everything else.
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10.29.2010 - 00:22 | The Maskeraider
Really? Another Asylum film? Dear God this was horrible! Except for that giant Piranha crashing through a building. That made me laugh just as much, too! Great job, FB!
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10.29.2010 - 00:22 | August M.
Another Film Brain review, yay!
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10.29.2010 - 00:38 | chero666
I was quite glad to hear that you did this embarrassing movie. I had previously seen this movie with my brother and I was wondering who was stuck on toilet cleaning duty during the time this shit decided to float up and be difficult to flush. The CG Piranha Kicking made me stop about 4 times to rewind and see again.
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10.29.2010 - 01:04 | The Coen Brothers lost brotherIf Uwe Boll and Asylum merged, we would have World Piece...of crap.
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Mega Piranha is one of those lovely movies they sell to a film company before they even have a script, just a title. That's all they are really trying to pull people in with. Silly titles.
And the mere mention of the Debbie vs. Tiffany encounter only means that you have doomed yourself to eventually reviewing more crap from this horrid studio. You have my sympathies you poor bastard. I look forward to that video.