Sweet review. How many more Stallone reviews are we gonna see?
The Specialist
Written by Film Brain Thursday, 15 July 2010 23:28
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Comments (130)
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07.15.2010 - 23:43 | WarxePB
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07.16.2010 - 02:36 | Shrimppuffthat commercial was the limiest thing i have ever seen. speaking of which, way to discover and then disregard the cure for scurvy.
can you believe spellcheck knew "limiest"? what's up with that?
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07.15.2010 - 23:46 | Ryman1118great review 5 stars
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07.16.2010 - 11:28 | mr_rubinoI keep remembering that episode of Freakazoid where Freak accidentally falls back in time and prevents Pearl Harbor, finding out later how much history has changed for the better:
"Sharon Stone can act! SHARON STONE CAN ACT!!"
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07.16.2010 - 00:08 | Boomer
All Sharon Stone was ever good for was T and A, well, at least when she was still young. Remember the movies where she tried to be a serious actress? Me neither.
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07.16.2010 - 00:16 | JekefkaThis movie is on [i]right now[/i] on AMC!
From the Digital TV Guide:
Sylvester Stallone as an explosives expert recruited by a woman (Sharon Stone) to avenge the murder of her parents by Cuban-American mobsters. [b]Tedious in the extreme[/b].
Is that even allowed? Can you just post a sentence-long review in the movie info? Doesn't seem fair--though it is right :P
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05.11.2011 - 20:37 | Sheranda
Try checking other entries. It's done almost every time.
WANTED (2008)
After his estranged father is murdered, an office drone joins secret assassins who take their orders from Fate [sic] itself.
THE RECRUIT (2003)
A veteran CIA agent assigns his young protégé to find a mole within the organization.
TRADE WINDS (1938)
A detective falls for a murder suspect he chases across the Pacific.
AMERICAN DAD (2010)
"May the Best Stan Win" Stan gives Francine "love coupons" for Valentine's Day, but he is uninterested when she wants to redeem them; Roger helps Steve and his friends remake a 1980s movie.
AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER (2005)
"The Warriors of Kyoshi" The residents of a small island treat Aang like a celebrity; Sokka meets some female warriors.
TYLER PERRY'S HOUSE OF PAYNE (2011)
"Brain Payne" Jayden may have autism; Janine blames herself; Curtis lives by the rules of the Bible.
Wow. I think I know what you mean. I just noticed that a single episode of a TV show usually has more sentences in its synopsis than a whole movie! What sense does that make?!
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07.16.2010 - 00:13 | StonedHorrorCritic
Awesome review, dude. I don't really remember much of this one (haven't seen it in years) but I don't think it was ever one of my favourite Stallone flicks. So this was when Sharon Stone didn't make shitty movies and didn't have lopsided boobs.
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07.16.2010 - 00:17 | whatever42
Another movie deserving of a review in Stallone month. By the way Film Brain, is it just me, or do a lot of the movies you review tend to be movies that have nonsensical action in one way or another to make up for a lacking plot? I'm not complaining; I'm just wondering if you mean to or it just kinda turns out that way. :)
Also, in the beginning when Stone was calling Stallone, could it be that all the cops Stone was describing had ...
[size=large]BETRAYED THE LAW![/size] :P
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[quote=whatever42]By the way Film Brain, is it just me, or do a lot of the movies you review tend to be movies that have nonsensical action in one way or another to make up for a lacking plot? I'm not complaining; I'm just wondering if you mean to or it just kinda turns out that way. :)[/quote]
Just sorta turns out that way. A lot of bad movies are badly paced and have portions that easily could have been cut out without affecting the plot.
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07.16.2010 - 18:48 | TragicGuineaPig
[size=large] LAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWW![/ size]
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07.16.2010 - 00:17 | rowdycmoore
I really don't get this Blip policy of allowing exposed butts on screen but not boobies. I can accept the censorship; just be consistent!
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07.16.2010 - 00:38 | EarthboundXE
That's Blip that does that? I always thought everyone just did that themselves, before putting videos on Blip.
I didn't know it was a Blip rule.
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07.16.2010 - 02:23 | Fluffyman
Well the Critic censored Wiseau's ass in "The Room" review but I'm guessing that's for our sanity.
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05.11.2011 - 20:38 | SherandaBut for some reason, he did not do that in his Airborne review.
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07.16.2010 - 22:10 | RedRedI find it odder that you find the need for explicit butt censorship.
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07.16.2010 - 00:28 | DonSenilo
But he Made some Porn in the 70's ^^
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07.16.2010 - 20:54 | AnarchicQ
I was gonna say...
Still, ew. No one needs to see that. Especially not 20 or so years later.
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05.11.2011 - 20:39 | SherandaYeah. Just what I was thinking.
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07.16.2010 - 00:40 | Dan Harolds
I was so expecting a certain Judge Dredd joke at 4:14
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07.16.2010 - 00:46 | FullmetalNinja25
Sharon Stone was a sex bomb back in the early-mid 90s.
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07.16.2010 - 01:00 | rudy023
I saw this on HBO years ago and all I remember was Sharon Stone got nude in it.
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07.16.2010 - 00:51 | DonSeniloOr was it in the 60's ^^
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07.16.2010 - 00:56 | bloodrunsclear
You've seen The Italian Stallion? My condolences O_o
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07.16.2010 - 00:57 | SayaCelineFunny as always, although it looked like what the guy was thrown into in the kitchen was a steam table. It's used to steam vegetables and other foods in commercial kitchens. I think it's also used as a warmer but I'm not sure on that one. D'know why that bugged me.
Wow...I wish I could make magic bombs like he does
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07.16.2010 - 01:18 | Film BrainPause it and you'll see its a sink. The guy lands in it too squarely to be a steam table.
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07.16.2010 - 01:15 | Iwant2know"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OO!"
That was priceless!
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07.16.2010 - 01:18 | Archedgar
Hmm Sharon and Stallone?
Cheesy lines? SOLD! Never miss a BMB anymore, gj man, great vids.
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07.16.2010 - 01:21 | SQRL
actually, with enough C4, even a necklace could be deadly, especially a locket like that.
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07.16.2010 - 01:30 | Film BrainBut where would you fit the C4? Its not a detonator, its the actual explosive device.
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07.16.2010 - 01:45 | Death the Kid
Agreed. Mother, help us. O_O *huggles Film Brain*
You're doing good, though! Almost done with Stallone Month! 8D
God that was a horrid movie.. Ugh...I did not want to see his damn ass. *shivers* Ew.
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07.16.2010 - 02:00 | EnakXJames Woods kicks ass.
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07.16.2010 - 02:11 | The Coen Brothers lost brother
Someone "special" wrote this movie.
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07.16.2010 - 02:24 | FluffymanI think that Stallone took his bomb-making advice from Wile E. Coyote (Genius).
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07.16.2010 - 11:27 | NintendoFanboy
You mean "Soooooper Genius" (I like the way that sounds.) ;)
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07.16.2010 - 02:30 | akkuma420
:0
Gotta love the 90's, no need for a plot, just lot's of unnecessary explosions and Sharon Stone.
That necklace bomb was hilarious, that's not even possible by today's standards.
LOL @ Sharon Stone...... what a whore.
Plays the same role in every movie.
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07.16.2010 - 02:59 | Frakes
James Woods always has his scenery with a side of bacon.
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05.11.2011 - 20:41 | SherandaNice.
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07.16.2010 - 03:08 | Deimos1984rd
[color=green]A movie Michael Bay would love....I was expecting the credits to explode. :P [/color]
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07.16.2010 - 05:31 | BrightRavenMore like Michael Gay AMIRITE?!?!!?
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07.16.2010 - 03:19 | Shinigami
You think that Cliffhanger and Demolition Man are good movies but you thought that Cobra is bad movie? Clearly you are too young to respect 80's action movies that were made in golden age of action movies.
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07.16.2010 - 03:23 | EvilAshTwinI think the "sneak attack" line was supposed to be sarcastic. But I could be wrong about that.
In anycase, I have a sneaking suspicion that your next Stallone movie is going to be Assassins. I know the obvious choice is Judge Dredd. But thats one of those "so bad its good" movies. Also, its already been done here in TGWTG. So Im calling Assassins next.
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07.16.2010 - 03:36 | LikaLaruku
Am I the only one who can't understand why women find Stallone attractive? Anyone?
Theme:
Zzzzzzz EXPLOSION! Zzzzzz GUNSHOT! Zzzzzz FIGHT! Zzzzzzz EXPLOSION! Zzzzzz BOMBTHREAT! Zzzzzzzz.....
Well, this is actually starting to sound like Get Smart, if Max were strong & less Inspector Gadget-oblivious.
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07.16.2010 - 05:38 | BrightRavenBecause Stallone has the body of a Greek god, an amazing jawline, and a great butt.
Gay guy here though.
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05.11.2011 - 20:45 | SherandaWell, at least Sly was decently attractive in the 1970s-1980s, just like Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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07.16.2010 - 05:55 | MiriamG
I'm a heterosexual woman, and I had no desire to see Stallone naked. Thanks, Film Brain. :angry:
Aww, I couldn't stay mad at you. You rock! Besides, you were just sharing the pain you had to go through yourself when watching this movie. :P
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07.16.2010 - 11:26 | QuestionTheMajority
It's a throwback of the Seventies. Stallone had a good number of obsessive fans in the Seventies thanks to Rocky and many of those fans have continued to find him sexy to this day.
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Mythbusters proved that you'd need to have something at least the size of an umbrella to be strong enough to blow some stuff up.
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07.16.2010 - 05:27 | elyanley
Aaahh~ This film is the Answer how another Fanfiction-Acronym came to being~
PWP - Plot? What Plot?
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07.15.2011 - 01:11 | SherandaI've heard it several times, now. Thanks for the tip.
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07.16.2010 - 05:30 | BrightRaven
I get it "OH GOD NO A MANS BUTT! LOOK HOW NOT GAY I AM!", grow up film brain. I'm gay, i am not turned on my women at all, how do you think i feel that almost every action movie has tits flopping all over the place? personally, i would love to see more male nudity in movies.
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07.16.2010 - 05:56 | Film BrainActually, I'm not a fan of gratutious female nudity either. Most sex scenes are about as sexy as broccoli.
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07.17.2010 - 00:55 | Flailwielder
Hey man...my girlfriend is broccoli :angry:
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07.18.2010 - 22:11 | BrightRavenoh, i thought it was just me.
... i should really stop commenting late at night when i'm doped up on flu medication...
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07.15.2011 - 01:14 | SherandaThere's nothing wrong with preferring substance over smut. Pornography is just a distraction.
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07.15.2011 - 01:16 | SherandaAnd filler.
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07.16.2010 - 07:24 | dennett316
It wasn't just any man's ass....it was Stallone's freakish looking ass. And by freakish, I mean not flabby and misshapen like mine. :(
Look, there are just certain people you never want to see naked...Mick Jagger, John Candy (RIP), Steven Seagal and Stallone.
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05.11.2011 - 20:51 | SherandaHonestly, every time I read one of your comments, I imagine Stewie Griffin saying it, and it's really funny. It actually seems appropriate here.
...
No, I don't mean it sounds gay!
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