Hagan Reviews - Dolla Morte

(30 votes, average 4.83 out of 5)

Review

Flubs

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Comments (23)
  • Minion of Yahtzee  - Oh god this one
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    This is what would happen if Action League Now was a snuff film. I can see why this is the favored one, because it is cracktasticly insane. Good job, Hail Hagen!
  • PaladinDemo
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    Directed with miscommunication from the Chaos Gods.
  • Unit112358
    You gave this its due, now if you'll excuse me, I've got to find a Hagan action figure.
  • nowhere
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    King Diamond? Awww I thought it was Sven Ghoulie!

    Imagine accidentally getting this when you really wanted "Dellamorte Dellamore"! It'd still be better than getting the Britney Spears "Crossroads" when you intended to get the "Crossroads" with Ralph Macchio, Steve Vai and the devil.
  • wolfwing
    can I just say awesome use of Coughlan's, nazi's without apptitude song :> I was WTF I know that voice, forgot all about that song.
  • Axel Osbourne
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    How can Dracula and Vlad the Impaler both be in this, when they are technically the same person? (Yes, that was my biggest question about this movie, and yes, I know how fuck up that is.)
  • ColeYote
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    Christ, I'm only at the 9/11 scene and this movie already makes my SOUL hurt.
  • Knochenbrecher
    Why do nazi action figures exist?
    Who are they merchandised to?
    To the same parents who think that videogames are evil?

    And wtf was the train of thought behind making those?
    "You know, Bob, there are already toy-figures of batman, superman and the transformers but there must be something else. Something so funny and joyful that today's kids have to get get their hands on it."
    "Sure, Jim. What little Timmy really needs is... ACTION-ADOLF-HITLER!"

    So many questions...
  • leviadragon99
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    Well that was... mindbending.
  • andx0r
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    I lost all decorum and laughed like a deranged gibbon at the insects/yiffing line.
  • Taboggon
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    This review was absolutely amazing!!
  • Creature SH
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    For inexplicable reasons, this is one of my absolute favorite Hagan Reviews. Even though the physical acting seemed different from usual.. I wouldn't really say wooden.... Plasticy, maybe? Damndest thing, that.
  • Lieju
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    I'm not entirely certain in which way the director wanted this to be funny.

    I found it funny, but because it was silly and random, the 'offensive' elements had nothing to do with it. And I guess it lacks sincerity, it's like he went out to create something silly, instead of having a message and trying to get it across. Like Birdemic or Happening, both hilarious movies.

    This guy seems to me like he's just out to offend, which is just pointless to me.

    I mean, sure, if you want to tell this kind of story because you want to criticise US foreign policy, or muslims or feminism or whatever, that I get. But this? Kinda pointless.

    (But comedy is subjective, so if people find this funny, I guess it's done it's job?)
  • 12th
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    I just want to know what action figure they modded for the Mistress.
  • Creature SH
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    Take a nazi super scientist with a glue problem, add a semi-feral teenage girl with healing powers and let simmer. Round off with a few sprinkles of an angel and slayer gone bad, then wrap in blaxploitation icon.
  • ladydiskette
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    Okay this movie....freaking awesome.

    It's fucked up, but I don't think I would expect anything less from a DH review. This kind of "using toys/plushies" as actors in your home movie has a sort of kitchy appeal to me.


    Also, love the DH action figure.
    Does it come with a Ken doll Alistar B'Homeless?
  • Sinburner
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    Huh.... I think I've lived long enough
    *head explodes*
  • DN_Joseph
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    I think I remember a poem by Ben Franklin, satirically praising witch hunts, because they used them as an excuse to strip women down in public, to examine them for the mark of the devil or something. I'm sure he'd approve of something like this.
  • HanSK
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    where did you get the Diamanda Hagan figure from?

    is it a conversion, or do you actually have you'r own line of merchandise?
  • DiamandaHagan
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    It was a gift from CreatureSH. In the end credits there's a link to his site detailing how he made it.
  • FRSpro
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    Death looks like Halloweenie
  • StripesZB
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    Wow, I didn't expect to see something more frantically put together than the Amazing Bulk.
  • Toxic Jellyfish
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    I feel inspired by this. I should probably be worried... XD

    Hail Hagan!
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