Condorman
Written by Diamanda Hagan Saturday, 25 February 2012 22:28
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02.25.2012 - 22:53 | TheBlackMage
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02.26.2012 - 06:06 | Magpie Dandy
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02.26.2012 - 20:05 | TheBlackMage
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02.25.2012 - 23:15 | Blizzard185TheBlackMage: Nothing's too dark for the Lecher bitch!
Seriously, though, looking at this review, I have to say: This movie looks pretty interesting, if weird...
I wish I have more to say about this, except good review all around, Ms. Diamanda...
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02.25.2012 - 23:33 | Mr.Evil
CONDORMAN!
Oh, I loved this one when I was a kid. It's completely silly. The future Phantom of the Opera (play version) doing comic book geekdom doing James Bond (no, not like that, you dirty minded people)
And for thoughts:
- 3:00: He fell way too slowly into that river. Gravity is going easy on Michael Crawford.
- Boy, Stan Lee really liked using radiation as his super-power origin story cure-all, didn't he?
- I think it'd be nice to breathe fire. A man can dream, can't he?
- It's true: duct tape can solve any problem.
- I never got how a cane could carry that many bullets. Yes, I'm choosing to nitpick THAT point.
- Car Chase: I think he ran out of ammo by the time he was down to that one car. Yes, you can fit 50 rounds in a cane, but only so much laser and flamethrower fuel in a souped-up car.
- What?! The sherrif looks nothing like Lance Henrickson.
- I've always wondered: how do you get your minions to so willingly line up for the slaughter. I do that and I get accused of war crimes.
Yeah, still like this film. Dumb, but fun. Great old review.
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02.25.2012 - 23:45 | pharmmajor
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02.25.2012 - 23:58 | TrilaanusSweet, this was a favorite film from my childhood. Just been thinking of finding it on DVD. Love it.
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02.26.2012 - 00:47 | Grimm
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02.26.2012 - 11:40 | Mr.Evil
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02.26.2012 - 01:18 | zmh24
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02.26.2012 - 11:39 | Mr.Evil
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02.26.2012 - 04:41 | Mz Doom
That song... it gets stuck in your head for ages. I will be running around doing some serious condormanning all day now.
I did love this movie when I was a kid and I can never find it on DVD. It's the silly that I really did like. I want to find it so I can drive my friends insane with the random. Mwahaha.
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02.26.2012 - 04:59 | FunkyM
I'd like to re-iterate that I (being the producer/editor Simon J Broome) do not hate Diamanda Hagan. (or rather anyone to do with the production of the internet videogramme series connected with the Character of "Diamanda Hagan".) The situation is that my character (being the Character of "Funky Monkey") identifies as "Heroic", and thus is contractually obliged to be ideologically opposed to the character of "Diamanda Hagan", who identifies as a villain.
Thankyou for your time.
Anyways, as to the vid, I would've ended up being Condorman, but for the fact I don't know anyone in the secret service... :
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02.26.2012 - 06:30 | Creature SH
This will always remain one of my very favorite Hagan (and general) reviews. I don't even know how many times I've rewatched it and shown it to others by now... And I even had a nice bonding moment with my girlfriend over it, as we came to realize that we had the exact same memories of the movie from our childhood. (Namely, the opening scene and not much else)
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02.26.2012 - 06:33 | Guild Navigator
I remember watching this cheesefest in the Disney Channel in the 80s. what's funny is that at the time I was convinced it was a movie from the 70s.
Funny how back then any yahoo that'd acquire supapowahs or invent something weird would almost automatically go on to become a goverment agent (just watch this: http://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=5NVcfW5sHSU ). Today? Screw that, I'm selling my Buzzardman supasuit to fucking Kim Il if he pays better...
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02.26.2012 - 07:08 | leviadragon99
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02.26.2012 - 10:15 | Flaregun
I actually really don't have anything much to say about this review, but since unlike with your previous couple of reviews I find myself with a bit of free time afterwards to make a comment, I thought I'd take the opportunity here to say how much I loved your reviews of the two different edits of the Exorcist prequels. Fantastic reviews in of themselves, the "Nina Galas" mirror Universe conceit was done brilliantly, and the whole thing just meshed together perfectly. Unfortunately when I watched those reviews I was a little more pressed for time & never got around to commenting on them.
ETA: Oh, and a little birdie's twitter just told me it's your Birthday, so Happy Birthday!
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02.26.2012 - 11:54 | Usbcheater
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02.26.2012 - 11:55 | motormind
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02.26.2012 - 13:09 | ladydiskette
lol, I love the caption
"Much vigorous 'Condorman'-ing later..."
either its my messed up brain speaking or that sounds hilariously wrong somehow.
Actually for some of its flaws and cheesiness, the movie doesn't look half bad. I mean, a decent funny parody of James Bond made for children, tell me where on earth you will ever find another movie concept like that?
Especially from something like Disney!?!
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02.26.2012 - 13:27 | Flaregun
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02.26.2012 - 15:01 | zepolmasHeh.. This actually existed.
I remember being little and seeing a promo for it on pay tv.
Forgot all about it till now.
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02.26.2012 - 18:34 | JethroQ
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02.26.2012 - 23:21 | The Brad GuyA few years ago I wrote a member review of this turkey for another bad movie website. I did the whole thing from twenty-year-old memories, and I got pretty close. Not something to be proud of; it wasn't a pleasant memory.
Oliver Reed and Jean-Pierre Kalfone were pretty badass. Our Heroes.... BLECH!
Your review was dead on, Diamanda. And you seem to have read my mind when you called this thing out for Woody's attitude toward killing. Nice job!
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02.26.2012 - 23:50 | OstsolI actually loved this movie as a kid. :)
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02.27.2012 - 00:39 | strudelcuddy
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02.27.2012 - 01:20 | The_Awesometeer
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02.27.2012 - 03:25 | EpicFish
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I loved this film when I saw it as a kid. Looking back on it I have to ask, why? Oliver Reed? Well, I was too young to be allowed to see Women in Love so I guess you have to take what you can get.
Disney sure had screwed-up priorities in those days. Who needs high-quality animation when you could have dreck like this and Unidentified Flying Oddball?
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04.01.2012 - 20:16 | TheLaughingFish